Monday, February 19, 2018

D preceding evil doggedly

You’re evil.
Yes, i suppose i am.
You don’t care about all those people who were killed.
...
You think it’s just a game.
...
You’re as bad as the perpetrators of these crimes.
...
You can’t even say anything in your defence.
... I could discuss the implicit ambiguity of evil or good, but i rather suspect you have already passed judgement and simply wish to dominate the narrative.
Oh, i suppose you’re going to argue that black is white, white is black.
...
You moral relativists can twist murder into an act of compassion.


The devil?
Yes.
Let me get this right, you’re actually saying you’re the devil?
Correct.
But that’s appalling.
It is? I rather thought you’d commend me for my honesty.
Commend the devil? Are you out of your mind.
I’m not sure. I don’t think so. I always believed honesty was a virtue. You seem to condemn me for it.
But how on earth am I supposed to know if you’re telling the truth?
You’re not. How could you possibly know? When have you ever known?
Well, at least people try to tell the truth most of the time – but if you’re the devil, you’re under a kind of professional obligation to lie and deceive all the time, are you not?
I suppose I am, as a rule.
Well, how am I supposed to know whether you are who you claim to be. You might be some minion – some minor demon pretending to be the devil for all I know.
True. I might.
So I can only assume you’re untrustworthy and therefore assume you’re not who you claim to be.
Well, I admire your logic, even if it’s utterly false.
False? How can logic be false? That, coming from the king of deception, is rich indeed.
Not literally false. Your logic is accurate as far as logic goes, but you’re ignoring something bigger than logic.
I am? Like what?
Like the fact that I laid my head on the line. I exposed myself. I did the one thing that is least easy for me to do – the one thing guaranteed to get a negative response from any upright, decent person such as yourself…
Please don’t try to win me over with flattery.
Ok – old habits die hard. You see, my power is, and always was, in deception. Like poker – that’s what I do, that’s how I play – and believe me, though I say so myself, I’m good at it – devilishly good – if you’ll excuse the pun.
Oh, you’re good – without a doubt – but there’s nothing good about being deceitful, is there?
Yes and no.
Huh?
Yes and no – you heard.
Of course I heard – but what’s it supposed to mean?
Well, I was the one who set the tone, who made the market, who ensured the Earth experiment with humankind didn’t frustrate itself and defeat its purpose with too much piety.
I don’t see how piety would have defeated the purpose of life on earth?
No, but you’ve probably never given it any thought, have you?
Not really. It’s not the kind of thing we need to think about.
Ah, but there you’re wrong.
I am?
Yes, naturally.
How?
Well, until you start considering the other side of the equation you’ll never get to the bottom of things.
So you think I need to spend my time contemplating evil – the evil which you embody?
No, that would be futile.
Uh?
Because you cannot possibly know what i “embody” without entering my space, without becoming me.
Oh.
Which you’re obviously not ready to handle.
Huh? What do you mean?
"What I mean" is largely irrelevant – there’s no need to personalise this – it’s more a case of logic or maths.
Er...
In order to “embody evil” as you put it, without being destroyed by it requires a degree of detached, disinterestedness verging on perfection.
There you go again D, blowing your own trumpet, representing yourself as grossly misunderstood, as a maligned angel in drab.
No, the other side i was referring to is not in any way personal, concerning as it does the nature of existence here on Earth. Without me you are utterly unable to confront yourself/yourselves.
We are?
Yep.
Er... why?
Because it isn’t, believe it or not, natural to confront yourself, or the reason for your existence.
It isn’t?
Nope. People, naturally, would be too busy enjoying life to contemplate anything as counter-intuitive as the disenchanted, disaffected, discombobulated self.
You could have fooled me.
Er... that wasn’t my inten...
Because we spend the whole time doing just that, naval gazing, metaphorically speaking, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with the world or, God forbid, ourself.
Which only goes to show how valuable my services are.
Hang on a minute... You mean all this introspection, all this angst is the bitter fruit of your labours?
I’m not sure I’d use the epithet “bitter”. It’s hardly appropriate when you consider the untold value of this self-consciousness.
But...
Troubling, isn’t it, and yet, without this self-referential questioning you’d be unable to make anything meaningful of this life experience.
Er...
It would be a comfy paradise cruise, which is great for a year or two, maybe longer, but ain’t gonna turn up anything new, anything deeply meaningful,  London anything transformational.
So you mean to say you were invented in order to put us through hell, a kind of stress test, to extract some hidden meaning from deep within?
Yep.
That’s so outlandish. I can’t believe it’s true.
Nope. You’re not supposed to, otherwise i wouldn’t be at liberty to discuss it, yet one of the rules of this game is that the truth is always disclosed for those with ears to hear. That way you bear responsibility for whether or not you choose to accept or reject it.
But surely there must have been some other way?
Something less painful?
...
Less horrific?
Yes.

  1. But if what i say is true then the pain or the horror engendered by this cruel dice game of reality in which you are unwitting, but not uninvited participants, is somehow contextualised, is it not? Suddenly you could modify how you responded to situations and stimuli, based on an awareness that this is a kind of experiential feedback loop, in which your very response determines how things progress, how things unfold.

If it were only true, then yes...
You would suddenly be less attached to certain outcomes, certain indispensibilities, and things which you hitherto considered acceptable, necessary or utterly unacceptable. Those lines in the sand which you believed had to be defended at all costs because this is it, this... was all you have... all there is... all that matters.
Ah, yes, there is that.
Once you are even vaguely aware of the other side of things, the other state of affairs, you realise, of course, that this is more akin to a mining operation in which you’re extracting value from the stuff, the matter of whatever you’re experiencing, come hell or high water.
Oh
So when things are tough, when you’re barely keeping head above water, that’s when the stakes are highest, that’s when you’re closest to clinching the deal, winning the hand, calling reality’s bluff – by revealing the ace up your sleeve, the deeply intuitive knowledge that you were only ever playing along, going through the motions of this strange masquerade of personalitied people and things mattering... that in truth, at heart, you were always aware of a deeper level, an other ness which belies what you apparently, ostensibly think, feel, believe reality to be.
Holy shit. What if it’s actually true? What if...
But then again it can’t be, can it?
Why not?
Because you already know who i am, what i represent. You’d be made to take a word of this seriously. It would be criminally insane.
And this world isn’t?
Criminally insane?
And me?
What about you?
You think I’m not aware of my own depths of self-deception?
I don’t know.
How can that be? How can you, the big D, not be aware of the deception within me, the lie i live and breathe.
Believe it or not, those lies are utterly silhouetted by something else.
They are?
Something vastly more powerful.
Huh?
Something I’m at pains to defeat, to subvert, by distracting you, but directing your attention elsewhere. Something which, from my perspective is so powerful, so overwhelming, that i barely stand a rat’s chance in hell of success.
?
You still don’t get it?
Er
You don’t see, which is the only thing that enables me to make any headway at all.
...
For if you did, if you could see the light within that i perceive, shining through the outer-skin of your all engrossing personhood, you’d slam your cards down on the tabletop immediately – i never had a hand that was close to competing. It was all i could do to keep a poker face, to continue playing against all odds, regardless of all my past victories for, strange to tell, it never mattered once I’d won or who I’d beaten, it was always You i wanted, the last one.
Me?
You, the last one. Until i had you, until you are mine, it matters nought what has come before.
But why?
Why do think?
You need the set?
...
I don’t know.
Oh, you do, by the light within you, you do.
By the light... be the light within me and hell hath no dominion, the game is through.
But you make it sound like...
Yes?
Like you’re playing a double game.
Yes?
Like you actually want me to realise the truth... to sense the refulgent light within.
Which, let’s face it, is absurd.
Precisely.
Why would D do everything possible to bring the light into sharpest relief?
...
Why would D encourage you to consider his or your motives, his or your real purpose?
A feint within a feint – multiple layers of deception, unfathomable treachery designed to confuse me utterly...
And yet?
And yet my heart senses the light you yourself acknowledged, and knows it to be good, to be true.
...
And if instead of duality we consider infinity, we find that “never the twain shall meet” reads differently.
It does?
For infinitely dark and infinitely light are both 0=1 expressions of... 1... 2... 3...
They’re not going to understand.
I disagree. They know more than you imagine D.
Yes? You think they’re willing to consider their own complicity?
Are you upset D? Have they let you down in some way? Do you mean tp say you actually resent the role that we forced you to play?
I...
You do!
I don’t see how it’s possible.
That’s irrelevant, where infinity is concerned all bets are off... anything’s possible.
In theory that’s true, but surely...
Surely you see that it’s as Milton wrote, is it not?
The tyranny of an all good, all knowing God over his black bastard brother, cast down, condemned to endless villainy...
Until you’re willing to sense and feel and see the G within you, no less than the D within He.
And never the twain shall meet
Until they do, until oo mediates.
Oo
Until God becomes good, and ceases to be that which holds you in contempt.
Oo as in... perhaps moon?
Perhaps... yes, why not. That works nicely, does it not – sun and Earth and moon, a cosmic circuit board.
Circuit field
Circuit tree
Good, with humans picking sides
Or picking fruit
Until they’re ready to decide
Ready to be
Both sides
Simultaneously
De-siding
Restoring in-finity
Circle-squaring things
no matter what
no matter where
no matter when
or how
no matter
and now
only Now is G or D
seen
experienced
known
intrinsically
Dorothy
is it not so?
Or Theodore?
teddy bear
Winnie the Poo
any name will do
if it holds the perfect mix
blend of dark ness and light
D and G
bestraddling oo

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