…don’t ask.
Whyever not? – do we detect a hint
of annoyance in Zie’s reply. Apparently Merry does, though it was hardly
obvious.
Temper, temper.
That’s kind of guaranteed to
aggravate anyone who’s feeling peeved about something – particularly someone
who prides himself on his self-control and equanimity – who sees himself as
being above those petty emotional surges – how disconcerting – how downright
infuriating it could be to suddenly realise that you’re wide open and
apparently hopelessly unable to manage the influx of precisely that –
Roll with it – Zie – this is not
what you think it is.
Now that gets Zie’s attention because Merry didn’t just say the words, but telepathically, if you like, inserted an awareness of exactly what he was referring to – this uncontainable inflow of anger.
There are places, you know, where
the normal rules do not apply, Zie.
There are?
Absolutely. And we’re in just such
a place right now.
We are?
Yep. And entry involves passing
through a sudden kind of pressure change in the emotional field – a pressure
change which is generally speaking a grave threat to any human being – which is
why anger is activated automatically – to defend and ward off the existential
threat.
So…
So you’re witnessing your bodies
defences working precisely as designed. You can also feel how they are
interacting with the…
The what?
Whatever it is – give yourself the
chance – suspend your disbelief – allow yourself to feel what’s going on at the
quantum level.
Zie scans his Field – so to speak
– whatever that might be – and indeed, yes, he feels the anger that appeared
from nowhere handshaking, so to speak, with its invisible partner. Weird. On
the one hand the anger is still there – still active – still real – on the
other – feeling it interacting – knowing it was caused by something real – knowing the two sides are in
some way connected – someway one – that completely eliminates the pressing
urgency that threatened him a moment before.
You’re in.
Yes, I believe I am. That was…
Unexpected.
You’re telling me. I’d…
Absolutely right Zie.
Wait a second Merry – they’re not
going to follow my thoughts.
Of course they are.
No, my subscribers.
Oh them. Yes, I suppose you’re
right. Go on then…
I’d not have made it through the
quantum sluice, so to speak, would I, if I’d not stepped back and experienced
my anger as something necessary
And inevitable.
Yes.
Correct.
So, I could have been here a
hundred times before.
More.
And never made it here inside.
Yep.
Because I was so busy trying to
keep it under control.
That’s right.
Having no conception that there’s
a kind of pressure change – a kind of step up inside – which feels exactly like
an anger erupting from nowhere.
Yep.
So…
Don’t ask still applies, Zie.
This time Zie senses a part of
himself still there on the outside – still fuming away – yet here he is –
feeling, knowing that his 3D aspect is safe – that it’s allowing the anger to
sizzle through and around – because it can feel the other half – the…
You see – you can’t tell them what
it is, can you – not without losing the plot – not without passing out, try as
you might.
I…
Merry watches with great amusement
as Zie tries to use words that refuse to come out.
Hey! Unexpectedly he hears a
whistle and turns around.
The words he’d just been trying to
force out are there – right behind him. Words – but – you can see them – they’re
so real. Almost human beings. That’s kind of freaky. Zie realises that it’s a
waste of time – he can’t force them out – not without killing himself or
shattering this unique experience.
Why is that – he’s kind of
thinking – but, of course, he knows the answer before the question’s fully
formed – and the word forms – the very idea is present – physically, or almost
so, right there around him – like a moving tableau, like shadows, like
creatures – or origami symbols morphing through various phases in the air.
Because I’m the stuff of words – I
myself – living, breathing y'word.
Yep.
With a little compression. A minor
twist. A half-blocked stem.
Not really blocked at all – just a
constriction in the flow – which seems like a blockage until you’re back here
in logos.
Funny, isn’t it.
Well, yes, I suppose it is really.
That we can only experience things
as things when we are separated from ourself.
Not terribly elegant – your way of
expressing it.
No, the words didn’t seem to come
out right.
They’re not supposed to, are they,
otherwise that physical world out there would always be where it originated, at
its source, at the godhead, so to speak.
So, we are creatures like a story,
with a twist in our tales.
Yes, until-unless
Until-unless it’s time to…
Beep, beep, beep… the double boundary
around logos is flashing. Zie can feel a tug as his 3D expression waiting out
there in the thingness-of-id experiences something else – pure, unadulterated
fear.
Be gentle on yourself bro. No need
to overload the circuit.
Oops. Sorry, I nearly forgot.
Saying it – that’s like bringing
together the plus and minus electrodes. You’re just going to short the entire
circuit. And the universe to boot.
Ouch.
She’s not mad about that kind of…
Zie suddenly sees/feels a vast
surge of – well – let’s call of electricity – and as it comes dangerously close
to bursting through the circuit breakers – there she is – for a split second –
lit up in darkness – her – HER…
Zie is utterly speechless.
Gobsmacked – if you’ll allow me to use that word. Gobsmackerooned to the Nth
degree of gobsmackability.
Er… I think you’ve perhaps made
your point?
And when I say GOBSMACKED…
Jesus wept… do we have an inhouse
editor anywhere available? Chumba Wumba perhaps?
I mean utter revulsion and pure,
pure beyond words, transcendental adoration…
Yawn. Anyone? Please do something.
With another element – which
cannot be named.
Sirens blaring. Intruder alert.
Intruder alert. Yes – some kind
of mental breakdown. Maybe hit the kill switch? Maybe interrupt transmission
before g-nomeportal is brought into irrevocable disrepute!
HER – Zie finds himself on his
knees – with tears in his eyes – arms raised up to heaven – not quite sure
what’s going on – not quite sure where he is, until Merry coughs discretely –
ah hem – well yes Zie – I think we get the message.
Out there beyond the double doors
of impenetrable protocol Zie’s other half suddenly breathes a gasp of air – the
panic attack appears to have passed.
Whew.
Is everything ok?
Apparently Merry has it under
control.
Bloody damn fool Merry.
Well, I won’t argue with that.
But just look at the ratings!
Holy eftsoons.
I beg your pardon?
I mean – take a look at that!
For a brief moment – as the entire
universe was paused on the edge of annihilation – everyone’s attention – I mean
everyone’s – is suddenly rivetted – suddenly brought together – into one pulse
– one presence – just sufficient – just, by the hair of the teeth, enough to
hold the raggedy, demented, let’s be honest, almost non-existent plot together.
Love.
You want a happy ending? Give me a
break.
Me? Are you kidding. I couldn’t
give a damn.
Language Ethelburg.
Sorry Mitchell.
But HER – you can’t just bring her
out of the shadows of infinite dispersion – and expect things to settle back
down to normal without a cross-vector-love-bridge.
A c-v-l-b? Really? You think
that’s a possibility?
I see no alternative.
You mean to say…
Look – infinite dispersion –
present throughout but utterly unnoticed, utterly hidden in plain sight – and
then suddenly – there in the limelight of an apocalyptic lightning glare –
essentially – brought into physicality – brought into a fullness of is…
So what happens now?
The unthinkable, of course.
A c-v-l-b?
Yup.
So two tide-locked sides of
reality which have necessarily been utterly disconnected, utterly out-of-phase
from time-immemorial are suddenly allowed to reconnect.
You got it.
And all that potential energy
which was locked up and unreachable…
Suddenly flows throughout all.
All with a capital ALL.
Yup.
Holy gimoly.
Meanwhile – breaking news.
Breaking news.
Breaking news.
Yes? What? What’s going on?
You’re not going to believe this.
No, I never do, but something
tells me a c-v-l-b is in process.
What? You heard already?
You could say.
Oh, by the way Zie…
Yes Merry?
Apparently you’re getting married
tomorrow.
I am?
Yes. Apparently.
That’s er…
Er?
Interesting.
Yes, isn’t it.
I wonder who it is?
Well, we’ll be finding out before
too long.
Happy ending?
Happy – as in happenstance.
As in happenen or fel it hap, thinly veiling our god of good
fortune – or perhaps just the awareness that the quantum field suddenly cometh into play, when 3D hath had its day.
If and when…
If and when we allow ourself to
know the simple
Siiiimple
Fundamental
Fuuuun-da-mental
Truth
Mmm
Hidden in the riotous cacophony of
cognitive dissonance
GGGFffhgghghfoslwklghslskldkwel¬
we just happen to find ourselves swimming in…
Totally.
If
and when
we finally figure it ain't physically fixable
The exquisite irony of it all!
So the happy ending is in fact…
Absolutely correct – more like a
monumental mean reversion.
Nice.
As the circuit completeth, and the engine of life is once again able to turn
A-turneth...
unchecked
Uninhibited
Un…CLANK/GRANG/SMAF!!! Oh – there you are! What a
pleasant surprise…
To be continued…
0=1 unless
there’s a better
alternative
