Friday, March 31, 2017

Appledorf's dream

Nothing less than all.

All?

I mean all. You’re in an information field. The minute you start excluding parts or aspects of it as undesirable, unacceptable or intolerable you are effectively denying the very nature of reality.

But...

Reality is a field. If you choose to feel and experience it in its entirety, without prejudice, if you’re willing to allow the field to reveal how it is balanced, no matter how imbalanced it appears, no matter what people around you are thinking or saying, then you have the opportunity to witness something remarkable, something breathtaking in scope and conception, you have the chance to witness the field in action, the field revealing the other side of things, the other side of matter.

What other side are you talking about?

 Zero. The side that undoes or redoes every done, that rights every wrong, that reharmonises itself effortlessly, incomprehensibly, because it does so outside the perceived limits of 3D reality.

Rights every wrong? You seem to be caught in some kind of utopian fantasy.

Ah, but the alternative dystopian reality is where you and your kindred are caught.

Well at least it’s real, unlike your “everything’s gonna be alright” dream reality.

On the contrary, dystopia cannot be real.

Why not? In any case, it isn’t exactly dystopia.

No?

No, it’s reality. That’s the way things are. Shit happens. People get sick, they die, but that’s life isn’t it?

Is it? Are you convinced?

Well that’s all I’ve ever seen or known so I have no reason to doubt it.

Ah! Then it’s more a question of whether you’d be willing to experience the alternative.

What alternative? There is none. This is it. Everything else is pure fantasy.

And this?

This?  What  are you... Hey, what the hell’s...?

Amazing why everyone’s in such a hurry to invoke hell whenever something unexpected happens.

You’re...

Uh?

You’re...

Oh that. Floating? Yes, I suppose i am.

But...

Oh come on, it’s probably just an optical illusion you know.

No, no, you can’t fool me. You’re actually off the ground. Jesus Christ, I don’t believe it, floating!

Yes, you may be right, but let’s not make too big a deal of it. Floating’s not anything special when you’ve learnt to embrace zero.

Zero? How can you embrace nothing? That’s absurd.

Oh you know, the field. Once you have learnt to engage the field.

But how? How can you be off the ground like that? What are you actually doing? What’s holding you up.

Oh, nothing much you know. Honestly, i wish you wouldn’t make such a fuss.. You’re embarrassing me.

Embarrassing?!  I’m not the one hovering four feet in the air.

No, not four feet. You’re mistaken.

Oh well, three and a half if you like splitting hairs.

I like accuracy, not splitting hairs.

But you still haven’t explained the secret. I need to know how you do it.

There’s nothing to it. That’s not me being modest, it’s actually the explanation.

No it isn’t. An explanation is the kind of thing that enables me to do the same, like if you give me the recipe for a tasty cake that you had just baked that we’re now eating, so I could make it at home.

Oh, but what if instead of somethinging predictably i danced with the devil, so to speak, and went through other? The recipe would be somewhat different would it not. More cake?

Er...  what? Oh yes, that’s excellent.

Mmm, i agree.

You didn’t just bake that now did you? My God, admit it - that cake just segued in.

Oh that sounds cool -  “segued in”.

Stop dodging the issue Mark.

Ok, if you want to get all namey about it.

Namey? What do you mean by that?

Oh you know how they love using names in 3D to determine, to fix down people and things.

What’s got into you Mark, all I wanted was to know how you managed to make this amazingly tasty carrot and cucumber cake appear in the middle of our conversation so that I’m already munching it having scarcely noticed it materialise from nowhere. That’s plain weird.

Oh, you know, these things are par for the course once you engage other,  the other side of things.

What other side of things? Why can’t you start talking sense? I see things but how can they have another side?

Well, that’s the side i refer to as “nothing much” because there’s a lot of it although it appears to be nothing from the 3D perspective.

Ok, let’s suppose for a moment that you’re not just winding me up, that there really is something else which I’m unable to see, that you’re perversely referring to as “nothing much” as if you’re intent on sowing confusion...

Yes?

Well how am I supposed to access it? I mean, I’d quite like to do a spot of levitation myself, if you know what I mean.

“A spot of levitation”! What a wonderful way with words you have Gwyn.

Oh.

Yes, apparently your other side name is Gwyn, not Appledorf.

Gwyn? That doesn’t sound very aristocratic does it?

No, not really, but it’s the name you use to tune in to the other side.

You mean the name has a higher function?

Naturally, you didn’t think a name is just a name did you?

Well, to be honest... I still think you’re just winding me up.

Yes, which is why i don’t bother trying to persuade you. I simply have a little fun engaging your other side.

Oh! You mean like you’re hacking into my system? Is that legit?

i’m certainly not going to invade your territory or your personal space, even if such a thing were possible.

Then what?

Like i said, your nothing much is like a wonderful, innocent, engaging child.

It is?

Who is willing to play with anyone who comes in peace, in the spirit of friendship and playfulness.

Oh

Who comes uncapitalised, without all the paraphernalia of state and self-importance.

Oh really, this is too much! I never noticed you being particularly humble. Stop making out that you’re some kind of saint.

And the best thing is that your nothing much can’t be fooled. It really does see the wood from the trees. It really can tell the difference between a friend and an imposter.

So you say, but how can I trust you? How do i know that you’re not hoodwinking me using certain psychic powers, perhaps hypnosis...

Because the nothing much that you contain, which is within you, doesn’t exist in 3D reality where deception is one of the main components of the game. On the other side of things you’re dealing with field forces, with energies, with isnesses...

Isnesses? What are you on about now? Ground control to major Tom, come down to Earth if it’s not too much trouble.

Ok.

Hey! What’s happened? Where the hell are you?

You said it.

Huh?

Hell. Technically speaking i descended into hell, down into the bottom level of Earth.

Listen Mark, I don’t like talking to someone I can’t see.

Then open your eyes.

Open my eyes? You think my eyes are closed? You’re mad Mark.

i’m Psi, not Mark, and if i’m mad what would a third party think, with you talking to someone you can’t even see.

Well, er, i see what you mean, but it’s not exactly my fault you descended into hell, is it?

Open your eyes.

Oh, alright.

There, that’s better, isn’t it Gwyn?

Yes, i mean no! Where am i? What have you done to me?

You know where you are, but if you like i can remind you.

Yes, please do. i need reassuring.

You’re in i, in your nothing much, on the other side of things, far removed from I.

You mean i’m in hell?

Yes.

Am i dead?

Do you feel like you’re dead?

Not really. In fact, the opposite. I feel strangely vibrant. In fact, alive! I feel very much alive, but how can that be if i’m in hell. I thought hell was supposed to be a place of fire and brimstone...

torment and suffering! Yes, i heard the same, but the old germanic word hell, what does it mean?

I don’t know. I don’t speak german.

Me neither, but that needn’t be an obstacle. Ask and it shall be given; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you...

Wait a second – you’re quoting from the bible, in hell?

Oh, it seemed appropriate. It’s about trusting in your self.

Don’t you mean trusting in God.

Yes, that’s another way of putting it. Down here in the uncapitalised i they appear to be one and the same... But we digress, back to hell, i want you to tell me what it means on the count of three.

i...

One

Oh dear...

Two

Oh

Three

Bright. It means bright?! That’s er weird.

Yes, isn’t it. From the nothing much perspective things are somewhat different, wouldn’t you say. Perhaps you’d like to describe hell for your audience.

My au... Oh yes, of course. Well there isn’t much fire and brimstone as far as i can see.

Why not?

Because hell is like a mirror, an interactive space that responds to me, to what’s going on inside me. If i’m full of anger, fear or hate then it’s going to look

and feel

pretty dire. But if i feel good about things, then it’s actually bright and wonderful... A place where i can explore the underbelly of my self, my life, my reality, which isn’t much of a visual description is it?

They’ll understand, i’m sure.

So this is how you were able to do those tricks up there in 3D?

Oh no, this is just the beginning, but touching base, getting down to Earth, rediscovering the fundament is a vital first step.

Oh. And how do i

get back?

Try closing your eyes.

Close my eyes?

And remember 3D, the feeling of being in it.

Like a dream?

Or a nightmare, yes, like a dream, only very real...


Hello, Appledorf, more cake?

Oh... I

You appear to have dosed off.

Oh, how embarrassing, I do apologise.

Think nothing of it.

Mmm, you must give me the recipe Mark. I’ve never tasted such excellent carrot and cucumber cake before.

Certainly i shall Apple-d, all in good time... all in good

time... My God, is that the time already? I must be going.

By all means. Drop in whenever you’re ready to dot your i or cross your t wickedly.

Definitely deranged, there’s no other explanation.

Bzzz

Bizarre, where on Earth did he disappear? I could have sworn... No, that’s absurd. It’s a just a coincidence. People do not morph into beetles, except in second rate sci-fi thrillers.

Psi-fly hee hee ha ha

Aaaargh!



Wednesday, March 15, 2017

i 2




Exceptional           I
              divIdes            rules
                     one            twos 
                  objec            tIvely 

                                         



By way of introduction
i would like to say
I has long prevailed
has rigidly upheld its mandate
to represent the being that is
me

None questioned its right
to do so, assuming I is
innocently capital-Ised
that things are
 as they seem
little suspecting
         nefarious activity
or God forbid
         mal-intent
still less an I conspiracy
capital-Ising on me
fraudulently substituting
almost wholly unnoticed
I the entity
for i the living flesh and blood
      being
as if the two
                 are one

Fast forward to now and what
do we see? Discern you
the wood from the trees?
Discern you things unpaintedly?
Me -- no
much is murky
but i sense
the need for little i
to mount its doughty steed
and ride forth i-fully
through the wastelands
of Capitalia
back o'er the battlegrounds
of grossly misnomered
modernity
 the pinnacle of progress
 it was assumed till recently
 the culmination of man's darwinian
ascent from amoebic swamp
to general relativity and beyond
                looping back in 2001
                the slingshot through
                twin towers--new york
                       to 1984
        a future fore-told
                     long ago
         in nineteen forty-nine
a glitch in time i cannot ignore
                          can't   or won't
omnipresent government
surveillance  thoughtspeak
  permanent war
modernity marching forth
 the future  behind
a doubly revolving door

i'm declaring
the age of I
not so much complete
as foreclosed 1
     foreclosed 2
     foreclosed 3
by the power vested in me
triptychly
for what  you enquire  i hear
  insolvency
  systemic fraud
  grand larceny
  for I's failure to adhere to its
founding charter
to honour and uphold
fundamental laws
               and  lore

moving swiftly on
letting dead take care of the dead
it's time to reinaugurate
the age of being
to relaunch little i is me
  time      is nought
to give i free rein 1
             i free rein 2
               free rein 3
and four   be assured
 will square itself
               perfectly 
be fore  draw breath
               i  2
                if necessary kindly repeat
                        if    time  permits
   
                     
                   
 . v  2 3


i

i'm breathing things that don't exist
that can't be real
'm leaving a snail's trail of creation
in my wake         
all because my fearless little i
       is taking me places I
cannot
would not      
               go 

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

falling in love

Falling in love – bet you never thought I’d write something like that
Like this – don’t you mean?
Like this, like that, what difference does it make?
Er – I...

Falling in love – have you considered what it means
Come on Merry – it’s not exactly a mystery you know
Not a mystery? It damn well should be.
Sorry to be pernickety, but could you try to refrain from expletives?
You mean damn – as in “damnation”?
Yes, if you don’t mind?
But what if I’m using the word technically?
Technically?
In the sense that we’re all freakin doomed, damned and in contempt of the court of consciousness unless-until we confront the mystery that is love, or falling therein.
Oh – well I suppose if you’re speaking legalistically...
Too bloody right I am.
Really Merry – I must object. You know I can’t abide vulgarity. Kindly avoid such expletives or...
What?
I’ll have to cut you off.
That a boy, Zie. You show ‘em.
Oh dear – I don’t know what’s come over you Merry – you’ve always hitherto been so circumspect. I never knew you had it in you to use such language.
Me neither – but today we’re confronting the mystery of love – so a little licence is called for.
I would have thought that love, if anything, should be elevating – lifting you into the highest realms of linguistic expression but sadly I observe the opposite.
Well Shakespeare covered both ends of the spectrum – did he not? Even Romeo and Juliet is littered with lewdities.
Lewdities? Yes, I suppose it is, but one doesn’t find them so offensive.
Because they’re in old English... hypocrisy if ever there was.
Ok – you got me – but still – it seems so out of character.
I am out of character – you’re dead right – and love is the perfect catalyst, the perfect excuse.
You don’t mean to say you’ve actually fallen in love?
Oh – all the time – but what’s that got to do with me entering the spirit of love.
A dishevelled appearance, pale, wan looks, shunning one’s habitual friends... but foul mouthed obscenities – I think not. That’s not the kind of love I or my readers are interested in.
Ah – but I think you’re wrong.
Evidently.
And that you’ve not yet considered the mystery of love.
As you keep suggesting – but without providing any details.
The falling into – what could it mean?
Really Merry – if you haven’t yet figured it out then I could suggest half a dozen books that will fill in the missing gaps.
Do people still practise sex in this reality?
OMG – I... Merry are you sure you’re ok?
Do people still practise sexual intercourse in this particular reality?
I... I don’t know... yes – I suppose they do, don’t they – otherwise there’d be no more offspring.
Ah – so that’s it. You have to have sex in order to have children. Is that what they teach in school?
Er – yes, of course – those are the so called “facts of life”. No one’s ever denied the biological need to have sex in order to reproduce.
Except that 0.5% of women in the US claim to have had a virgin pregnancy without any sexual intercourse.
Well they would, wouldn’t they. Very convenient, I’m sure. It’s a kind of Virgin Mary complex. Or else they just got confused.
Easy isn’t it to dismiss what other people say. Very easy to look down from your rational heights and assume they’re either delusional, deceitful or dead wrong.
Very nice Merry – three ds to boot, but seriously, no one in their right mind’s claiming that women can get pregnant without having sex. That would be absurd.
Naturally.
So we can move on?
Naturally. Watch this.
No. No – I don’t want to see... oh God. Fuck. Merry – would you please cut it out.
Did you just say the F word?
I... I’m sorry. I did – but every time you start walking up the wall like that it makes me feel like my skin’s crawling. It freaks me out horribly.
Ever wondered why?
Because it’s unnatural.
Is it now? You mean that perhaps it’s satanic, reptilian or insectic?
I mean it isn’t natural – we’re not supposed to walk up walls – there’s such a thing as gravity you know. I’d ask you to kindly observe and adhere to the laws of nature – if it’s not too difficult.
To avoid freaking you out? I rather like hearing you...
Oh shit – no. Stop. Cut it out Merry. Fuck. I... [retching noises]
What a mess! Do you have to evacuate yourself like that? I don’t know what’s worse – the vomit or the filthy language.
Merry – please go. I can’t tolerate this kind of behaviour.
Behaviour? I happened to be inspecting the light fittings on the ceiling. Would you rather pay an arm and a leg for an electrician to do the same job?
There’s nothing wrong with the light fittings – you know that.
Listen Zie – if it’s not too much trouble – could you stop dodging the issue and face the filth that’s lurking just under the surface. Why is it always me that’s wrong – just because I’ve figured out that gravity’s not the be all and end all – just because I rewrote the maths. I’ve done my best to share my findings with you – but what have you done to advance your state of learning? You insist that if it ain’t being taught in universities it doesn’t or shouldn’t exist – and swear to abide by the holy dogmas of 3D reality – regarding sex, gravity and things in general.
Well, I happen to think that these are the basic facts which stand us in good stead. Imagine if a girl could get pregnant just by thinking about it? What would happen then? What kind of world would we be in?
Imagine if a man and a woman could fall in love so deeply, so passionately, so wonderfully that they never stopped falling – that the gates of in-finity opened up within until they tumble into each other and somehow merge. The next morning they wake up in their normal bodies but something is different. They just revisited the moment of creation. They’ve just becoming fully qualified, fully endowed signatories to the universal creation that is our world. In doing so, in revisiting, reaffirming, reendowing God’s first creation with their bottomless love – the universe is reborn through them. As a bonus gift, a by-product of their bottomless love – a child is conceived and born – a child that bears no malice whatsoever – a child that is one with all and everything – without exception.
Oh my God – where do you get it from? What have you been reading now Merry?
Reading – can’t you do the maths?
What maths?
0=1
Oh that...
Things don’t add up unless we factor in-finity into the equation – and doing so, we run into the big C.
You mean Creation?
Yes, and the fact that Creation happens outside time – that Creation is an ongoing state – which we’re obviously a part of – but which we seldom aspire to join, to embody, to personify...
Probably because it isn’t possible.
Until you realise that it is the only thing holding everything together – it’s the field – the glue...
No Merry – that’s called gravity, and people, believe it or not, fall in love and have, er, sex – it’s really not so difficult to comprehend.
But doing so they usually fail to hit the supreme totality – the all – the One that is Creation – and their children are often born with pain and karma due to the misalignment.
Oh God Merry – babies are babies. They’re influenced by their environment – epigeneitics, and also their ancestry – genetics. Why do you always need to paint a fog of mysticism over something perfectly rational?
Because the world is more than you make it out to be – because we are more than biological machines, because life is bigger, more splendid, astonishing and far reaching than anything your universities are willing to consider – and...
Perhaps you have reproductive issues Merry? Sorry to be blunt – but there are clinics that can assist.
What if we tried a different approach? I’m going to assume you’re a woman.
No – no you’re not. I’m a man, through and through. I’ll have no false assumptions if you don’t mind.
I’m now going to demonstrate what falling in love – head over heels involves.
No you’re not. I do not consent. You’re not going to interfere with me – there are laws against that kind of thing. I’ll...
I won’t touch you – I’m just going to let you feel what it’s like.
No...
I hear you. I won’t do anything unpermitted by natural law. Your higher self is perfectly at liberty to decline this offer – but should it be willing to come along for the ride... we’ll see.
Ride?! You can’t equate falling in love to some kind aeronautics display. Oh God. Why is it always me? You can take your so called love, Merry, and...
What? You don’t approve of love?
Love between a man and a woman.
Ok – but love is love – is it not – and at the soul level you’re neither woman nor man.
Theoretically – but...
But you still feel a little awkward – do you not – and this awkwardness is preventing you from really experiencing love, because every time your social and cultural conditioning tells you you have to jump on the woman and penetrate her to express your undying affection – you miss the polar vortex which she is emanating, which she’s in the process of revealing to you.
Polar vortex? More insanity – will it never end?
So allow me to induce your very own polar vortex.
No. No.
Only if you – your soul consents.
I am my bloody soul – not someone else in la la land.
Then you need not shout or swear – I’ll be able to achieve nothing without your consent.
I... you might start manipulating things – like I’m under hypnosis to make me feel like I’m a woman.
Will not.
You might.
I won’t. I am powerless unless I work harmoniously with the all that is – the beauty of nature herself – the divine force of life, of love, of laughter and joy that we usually refer to as God, for want of a better name.
Er – let’s just call it a day Merry. I have some pretty urgent stuff...
Ok – but before doing so, let me ask You – and that’s with a capital Y as I’m talking to the highest aspect of you there is – whether love is indeed the sole, the prime motive force throughout the universe and beyond – and if that be so, whether it is possible for us to open our heart and minds for a moment, a brief moment, without prejudice, or fear, to this force – to fall into it together in the spirit of pure friendship and science – in order to get a glimpse of what lies therein, in order to see beyond the matrix of separation present throughout 3D.
I...
A change comes over Zie. He seems to be lost in thought. His field lines shift. It’s getting increasingly difficult to look at him without falling sideways. From a 3D perspective Zie is now floating approximately three feet in the air but blink and you might miss him as other dimensions are now coming into phase as 3D’s hegemony weakens – like hearing other radio stations emerging from the ether and competing with the one you were listening to when you turn the dial.
I consent.
Good. Let’s go 1 – 2 – 3
Nothing happens more intensely than any thing you can possibly imagine. No thing spins, vibrates faster and faster until every thing else – the whole of 3D reality – the room, the universe, reality itself is now pulsing differently – so that Zie is merged with his higher self – and discovers Merry waiting for him there with a glass of water and a tennis ball.
Hi Merry – what’s with the props?
Oh – you know – just thought you’d want something tangible for the 3D self to focus on when you step down your frequency.
Oh – good idea.
Have a glass of water – that at least will persuade your sceptical nature that this is real – particularly if you...
Oops, I spilt a bit.
Excellent. Much easier to believe a damp patch on your shirt than a foggy recollection.
And the ball?
Let’s play catch.
Er... I thought this was all about experiencing transcendental love.
And it is – but let’s not hold hands or gaze into each other’s eyes – that might scare your 3D self.
Oh, good point. Toss me the ball.
Here you are. Now let’s use the ball as a neutral means of focussing our attention on the oneness we become as we toss it back and forth.
Doing so, in this higher field of consciousness the two soon experience the game ever more deeply – until they’re throwing the ball with their eyes shut – feeling how they are neither here nor there – how the entire universe is party to their game – is party to the moving back and forth of the ball – how the catching and throwing is a safe and sweet way to experience something that is deep, deeper, deeper than words can tell – as the two fall into the bottomless state of being in love beyond 3D – as the polar vortex, the toroidal field that merges all into one melts through every last vestige of separateness...
It’s actually a wonderful feeling Merry – I was terrified it would be kind of – er
Homoerotic?
Er – yes. I...
You don’t need to say. These fears are entirely understandable, perhaps inevitable in 3D reality.
But...
Like I said – it’s a mystery. You can give me a hug now to make sure.
Oh – well – why not.
There – you see – you’re still as you were before. You’ve not been infected with anything new.
But don’t get me wrong – Merry. I’ve nothing against er homosexuality...
I know – this isn’t about sexuality is it?
No – I suppose not.
It’s about a deeper state of sexuality.
A sexless state of sexuality?
Or a more than sexuality – which allows north and south poles to complete the circuit themselves – without any help from us.
And they can?
Of course they can – that’s how they were designed to operate.
Then why have we been so busy trying to assist nature complete the equation?
Perhaps because we didn’t believe that she could do it herself – or we were too hasty.
But surely...
Yes – surely. It beggars belief – does it not – that we could forget our true nature – our fuller, 0=1uality – in which we experience both zero and one to the nth degree, to the extent that we are no longer in existence independently – we merge outside time and space. That puts a gigantic spanner in the works. The entire universe misses a heartbeat – short circuit is another way of describing it – but the next thing you know – you’re back – creation thrives on love. It’s ready to do almost anything to get another moment, another experience of that love – to go to hell and back if need be, as it almost invariably in fact does.
There’s just one thing – Merry.
Yes Zie?
I’m...
Tee hee hee!
I’m not er... going to be pregnant am I?
Ha ha ha! Of course not.
Phew – that would be difficult explaining to my mates at work.
Unless...



Monday, March 6, 2017

cheshire catting

Quit harassing me Merry. I don’t know what’s got into you.

Not what’s got into me – what’s got into you.

Oh it’s like that is it? Pointing fingers, name calling and blaming blame.

Do you realise what you’ve done?

Of course I do. I just brought you back a tender, juicy steak and chips from the other side of infinity, and instead of thanks I get abuse because you got Burgundy instead of Beaujolais. Pathetic if you ask me. It’s such a disappointment to see that you’re as petty minded as everyone else. You may have annoyed me before but I never for a minute doubted your integrity or your higher purpose.

Oh

Now I see you for the hypocrite you really are. I feel gutted, really gutted.

Ah, you must be...

?

...

Oh, if you think enigmatic non sequiturs are going to put things right, you’re sorely mistaken.

Sorely mistaken

Sorely

Merry, what the hell are you doing?

...

Oh God. Cut it out. I’m not falling for your cheap diversions.

...

Just because you’re able to manipulate the quantum field... it doesn’t make you a better person. Not one iota.

...

That’s it, I’ve had enough of your theatricalities. I’ll be seeing you.

...

Idiot. He thinks a bit of levitation’s going to...

...

Well that’s saved me the trouble of having to leave the room. Dorothy, I wonder if you can hear me? Do-ro-thy, I love you even if you are nought. I want to be with you more than anything else.

Oh how sweet.

Hey, get out of here Merry, i don’t want to see you ever again.

Changing me for your dotty nought are ye?

How far you have fallen Merry, making sport of others, mocking even love. What’s Dorothy ever done to you? Why this petty minded chauvinism? Jealousy perhaps? So sad to see you in this light.

See me? Where?

You know what i mean. Could you kindly quit Cheshire catting me. Get a body. I do not consent to this kind of invasive malingering. If talk with me you must then at least have the decency to be physically present.

I... I can’t... you banished me for ever Zigismund.

Zigismund? You don’t call me that, only Dorothy.

Oh it’s like that is it? Well I’ll be off then.

Finally, I thought he’d never...

Oh one more thing Ziggy.

Damn cheek! What is it?

You still owe me a bottle of Beaujolais.

?! You’re off your rocker... y'lost your mind.

Which one?

Quit being facetious Merry. You had your damn steak and chips plus an excellent bottle of

Burgundy! Don’t, i don’t want to hear another word about that diabolical excrescence.

Er... Reality where are you when i need you? Kindly remove this Cheshire distortion from my presence.

Reality, Zie has to abide by the rules, august and honourable though your presence undoubtedly is. There remains the not inconsequential matter of a contractual codicil that requires immediate remedy.

What on Earth are you on about? Contractual codicil my foot.

No Zigismund, nought your foot.

Hey, what the hell! Ow! What have you done Merry.

Nothing whatsoever.

Then where the hell’s my foot gone?


Oh that. I see what you mean. A bit awkward i agree trying to stand around and chat without a foot.

Grrrrrr!

Well you’ve still got one at least.

Grrrrrr!

Come on Zie, you can do better than that. Surely after all you’ve been through you’ve figured out that Grrrrrr with 6r’s isn’t the sound required to grow back a Cheshired foot.

Merry, that’s enough, I don’t want to hear another word.

Your wish is my command. Mmm mmm mmm mmm nn zhh vruh

Or sound. No quit fooling around in this despicable manner.

Dspkbl? Whts wrng? Nnt mmmy fflt.

Yes it is. It’s always your fault. I don’t know which corner of hell you crawled out of but it’s high time you crawled back.

Thnkss uh bnch.

But kindly put my foot back before you leave.

Cnt.

What do you mean you can’t. Of course you can you twisted goat hoofed demon.

Ghht hhffd! Rrrrrg.

Oh so you’re sensitive to goat hoofed are you? I wonder why? Perhaps it’s true, perhaps you really are a demonic spirit sent to beguile: leading me astray all this time with your pseudo-intellectual quantum sophistries. Oh God, I see it clearer and clearer, the fool i have been to take your theories at face value. What a cutty sark dance you’ve led me these whiles. Old Nick himself must be proud of you.

Cut it out Zie.

Hey, I withdrew your speech permit! You’re not allowed to speak.

Correct, but you’ve crossed a few invisible lines attributing things to me which do not belong, which are not mine.

And you’ve done no less by foisting a fictitious contract on me, codicils and all, that i never even knew of still less signed.

Ah, but did i?

Ah, but did i? – pathetic Merry. You know perfectly well i never signed anything when you entered my existence.

Correct.

Then kindly cease and desist from pestering me. Ow... what are you doing?

Nothing.

Well kindly put a stop to it. This is like some horrendous nightmare. First one foot, then the other... Are you intent on Cheshire catting me completely?

Your assuming that I’m the one behind this. There are other forces at work which i have no control over.

How can that be?

Like i said, i can’t unmake a contract you’ve signed.

For God’s sake Merry, i signed no contract.

Then where have both your feet gone?

That’s rich coning from you. You’re just a pair of lips and half a nose.

I... I have my reasons for keeping a low profile Zie.

You’re telling me. Who are you hiding from?

Who did you sign a contract with?

For crying out loud...

...

You’re not trying to say that I’m being affected by what i said to Dorothy?

And what do you think? That you can just declare undying love to the mistress of in-finity and remain unaffected?

But...

In doing so your base zero one pair reversed, like a polar shift when the north and south poles flip.

Oh

Oh indeed. You’ve now noughted everything you’ve ever been, including the universe you just happen to be the centre of.

Oh heck, now you tell me. I didn’t have any idea this was going to happen. But if it’s such a big deal why did she let me go?

Go where?

Home... Back here.

Ah, there’s the rub Zigismund.

Don’t call me that.

Oh sorry, i forgot, only she’s allowed to

Cut it out Merry.

What makes you think this is home?

Well it’s obviously home, isn’t it. I’m back with steak and chips and

Burgundy

Oh heck, you mean to say...

There’s no knowing where you are now.

But... but you found me.

True, but that’s not saying much is it. It doesn’t mean i can get you out of here.

Merry, stop  freaking me out ok. As far as I’m concerned this looks just like home except my feet are strangely lacking.

But this is just the start. It’s like a chain reaction. It doesn’t stop with your body or even your house...

Then what?

Which do you think is going to win in a tussle between in-finity and everything in existence?

In-finity of course.

Precisely.

Now, I’m not saying you did the wrong thing. In cases such as the above one should generally follow the heart. But how to avert the big reset, the mother of all zeros, and turn it into a moment of cosmicality?

Huh?

How to use the power of aikido, to roll with the unstoppable onslaught of in-finity and come out on top?

You make it sound like surfing.

Surfing? Ah ha... that’s it, isn’t it!

Isn’t what?

The implosion wave... Instead of resisting it, trying to escape it, we can set up an impulse drive...

Like in Star Trek? You’re kidding!

The impulse drive will be powered up by the implosion wave and instead of nullification...

We’ll be riding at warp speed back into the future.

You bet. Oh wow, this could be amazing.

So what have i got to do?

Do? This is not a doing matter Zie. This requires a different order of magnitude.

Then what?

Pure electric intent coupled with magnetic resolve.

Oh that... la la mysticism and esoteric why-me whyme.

If you have to make light of this... Personally I’d have expected better of you, given all you’ve put me through today.

Today? Do you mean to say it’s still today?

Oh, you know what i mean. Now, let’s get the impulse drive into its ready to fly state.

But i can’t see anything.

It’s a Cheshire drive, isn’t it, until you’re riding the wave at warp speed. Only then will it come into your field of vision, all things being equal.

Oh

Where did i put that spanner? It’s lucky I’ve had the bare essentials lying around for an emergency like this.

You mean you actually have to make it by hand?

Not exactly, but i used to be a Doctor Who fan so i collected an assortment of time junk that could be made into a tardis. In actual fact, your job is to hold in unison the creation you’re now spawning.

Om my God, what do you mean?

Well, you have two great loves do you not?

I do?

Oh come on Zie, don’t be dense.

Er... You mean Dorothy and...

And?

Er... It sounds terribly egocentric.

As it rightly should. There’s no going anywhere without the supreme, transcendental, cosmic ego.

Oh... I thought it was just me.

Which it is. It’s just that you’ve not yet realised what your me really amounts to.

Huh?

Think big Zie. Very big. Pop up past peta and zetta orders of magnitude to the giga yota scale, or thereabouts.

You mean to say that I’m as big as...

The universe? Where else do you think it came from? They can’t just appear from nowhere, you know.

Oh, i always assumed

Yes, but right now you have about seven seconds before the implosion wave hits and nullifies everything you’ve ever been or known, so kindly hold the two loves in perfect evenness: on the one hand Dorothy your bewitching contractual bridget...

Bridget?

Oh, you know, soul bride, and everything else...

Er...

Everything you’ve ever known and loved, starting with yourself, your life, including humanity, the Earth, trains, planes and real ale...

I thought you said the implosion wave’s hitting in seven seconds?

Oh God, i nearly forgot. Quickly... Deep breath, Om, slowing down the time stream, decoupling, unphasing, desyncing, release, hold, mmm, that’s better. Now where were we?

Loving two sides evenly.

Ok, as the time wave implodes into you these feelings are going to intensify exponentially. Prepare to feel the exteme rapture, joy, pain and despair of all that love ever can, was and ever will be.

Is that all?

... while i get the tardis powered up. Kansas city is going bye bye, as they said in...

The Matrix. And you can assure me...

Focus, no time for assurances. Your everything and nothing are now collapsing, spinning into the zero point you yourself constitute. Only the two sides of love can keep you afloat to ride the maelstrom, to surf the time vortex back into inf-inity.

Oh...  oh... oh... oh...  oh... oh... oh
A puff of smoke and Zie is gone.

Seventh heaven... Right, here goes for nothing... Impulse drive 0=1 destination unknown, wherever, just as long as Zie’s waiting for me with two feet and a bottle of Nouveau Beaujolais. Now full steam ahead Marigold, we have a lovestruck Romeo riding the time wave of an imploding universe to catch before he crashes into the Mandelbrot beetle at T minus 42 to the power of zie vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvrm

Ah, music to my ears! There’s life in the old dog yet...


To be continued


Thursday, March 2, 2017

between whiles

Apparently I’m between whiles.

Yes, that’s a fair description.

But what does it mean?

Er... could you tell me how you knew?

What?

That you’re between whiles.

Oh, I... er

You have no idea, correct? You simply knew.

Apparently so.

But you’re still not comfortable with the fact that you simply know things...

Uh

You’re treating this with a certain degree of suspicion, which is understandable.

Oh

Until you make yourself more at home here.

At home? You mean I’m here to stay?

Where?

Here, between whiles...

Would you like to?

I don’t know... No, not if I have to.

I see your point. That would be... yes.

Yes I have to stay?

Yes

Oh. For how long?

How long is a piece of string?

No, come on, I want to know.

Then know.

How? I don’t know how to know.

Well, you keep saying apparently when you’re knowing things, so there lies the key. Follow that trail of sceptical stand-offishness back to its source and bingo, you’ve found where your power of knowing originates.

Can’t you just tell me. I think that would be...

Easier?

Well yes.

...

Sorry?

...

I didn’t catch what you said.

...

Is this some kind of joke?

...

Whatever it was you were saying...

Saying? I’d hardly call that saying.

Then what?

Imparting.

Well, it went right over my head. Your imparting was obviously a failure. I’d stick to saying if I were you.

Oh, but you’re not.

Well obviously, but if I were...

If you were you’d have done exactly what I did.

How can you be so sure?

For the simple reason that I, unlike you, am me, and therefore I know exactly what to say or do in the circumstances.

But that’s being absurdly conceited. You can hardly speak for me, or what I’d have done if I were you.

No more than you can speak for me and what you’d have done being me.

Look, this is getting nowhere.

True.

So if you don’t mind I’d much rather change the subject.

Go ahead.

I’d rather go back to our starting point.

That sounds very reasonable.

I want to hear what you have to say about this place.

Yes.

Or about yourself.

Uh huh.

Or anything you choose to tell me.

Right.

Well?

Well?

Can you give me any insights?

Yes.

Great, fire ahead.

No.

No? I thought you just said yes?

I did, yes.

Then why contradict yourself?

No contradiction.

Oh God, this woman’s obviously insane.

Yes.

I’m talking to a madwoman. What does that make me?

Good question.

I wish you’d give me a break. I need a bit of help.

You do?

I’m asking for help.

Whom.

Whom? What do you mean whom?

Who are you asking for help?

How am I supposed to know who you are if you won’t tell me?

Good point.

Good point?! It wasn’t a point, it was a question.

Oh

Mad, mad as the day is long.

Which is an interesting consideration if you’re between whiles, as you yourself declared.

Well I don’t really know about that.

You don’t know what you said?

I don’t know if I agree with what I said. I mean I just sort of blurted it out without really giving it any thought.

Precisely.

Precisely? What could be precise about blurting something out without any thought?

Good question. Don’t worry, we’ll get there in the end.

There? Where exactly?

Back to knowing whatever it is you need to know.

You make it sound like...

Like it is, sauntering across a bridge between two sides of a divided being.

A what?

You heard.

Yes I did, but I’m not sure I believe what I just heard.

Yes, these things take time.

Time... so am I in purgatory?

Does it feel like you’re in purgatory?

I...

Yes?

I don’t know. How am I supposed to know what purgatory feels like? It certainly doesn’t feel like being in heaven, that’s for sure.

And you know what heaven feels like?

I can guess.

But not purgatory?

Ok, I see your point. I suppose it could be seen as purgatory, if I allowed it to rile me.

To rile you?

Yes, to get the better of me.

Oh. You mean it’s up to you?

I guess so.

Interesting.

What do you mean interesting?

How much you seem to know without knowing.

Funny, isn’t it.

What? Talking to a madwoman?

That as well.

...

Not very talkative are you.

...

Not very anything much at all.

...

I’d be hard pushed to describe you if I tried.

...

Come to think of it I have no idea how to describe you, which is kinda weird if you think about it.

...

I mean, you’d think I’d be able to say what someone looks like, wouldn’t you?

...

But nothing, zilch, nada. You don’t seem to be in any way describable, which begs the question

...

Whether you even exist at all


...

Or whether you’re just a figment of my imagination

...

And there’s no way of telling

...

Nothing for me to hold onto as a certainty in this

This?

This between whiles.

Frustrating, isn’t it?

Not so much frustrating

...

More

...

Intriguing

...

Actually intriguing that I can still experience a completeness

...

A fullness

...

A wholeness

...

Between whiles, in what objectively I can not describe or thingify

Thingify

Can not, for here all things evidently amount to nought

...

And yet there doesn’t seem to be any lack of what is not

...

As if the shadow of things

...

The shadow of materiality has

...

Taken on form and substance


...

Yet without divesting itself of shadowiness.

Ah

Ah?

Oh

Oh

...

And now that I think of it

...

I realise there’s

...

An other side to all that I’m not seeing or experiencing here

...

Which enables me to feel

Feel

And know

To no

What is here not

Nought

But there on other side

...

In all likelihood

...

Something or other

...

If only I knew how to bring the two to

...

gether

...

I

...

I

...

I

...

I suppose there must be some kind of mechanism if only

...

I knew how

...

...

...

now brown cow

Moo

Oh, what was that?

Er

Do it again please

Moo?

Yes

Moooooooo

Oh my God, i can feel something through the divided-be

What?

Not what, moo, please just moo

But you’re making me feel ridiculous

Ridiculous? Since when did a madwoman feel ridiculous?

I er

...

I don’t know

This is important Dorothy

Dorothy?

Yes, stop pretending you don’t know

...

You know perfectly well who you are

Oh, so now all of a sudden you’ve decided to remember who i am

Yes er... no. I’ve always known, it’s just i didn’t know i knew.

Oh come on, pull the other one

I knew, Ok, are you happy now? Would you kindly do me a favour and moo?

I don’t know. What’s it worth?

How now brown cow

Moo

now brown cow

Moo

brown cow

Moo

Oh wow!

Moo

Wow!

Moo

Womb

Moo

Tomb

Moo

Om

Moo

Me

Moo

And you

Moo

Are

...

One

...

I no, it’s true, dorothy

You know?

I no beyond shadow of doubt i you

You me?

I you

You me dorothy?

I woo you mb

You to me mb?

Moo

Moo?

Moo

...

Moo

Ah – me

Beautifully


Er... Time out Zigismund. What’s with the fishing rod?

Oh my God, I nearly forgot

...

I’ve got to catch a steak and chips for Merry.

With a fishing rod?

Yes, and a bottle of Beaujolais.

And you called me mad? Damn cheek!

But these are just things Dotty, you know that.

They may be just things Zigismund, as you put it, but that’s no reason for me to tolerate that fool’s terminological nonsense.

Oh, i thought

Yes, i expect you did, but had you given it a little careful nought you’d have known he’s up to know good with his theatricantics.

Oh, I’m sorry you see it like that dorothy, i

Yes, i expect you will, but not between whiles

Not between whiles? But what about you, how will i

zoo

No, i don’t want to leave you

zoo

doro-

zoo

thea

zoom

i...

home

love...

om

you...

sweet om

...

1 – 2 – 3

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



Ah, there you are Zie! I’ve been waiting for ever.

No, i want to be between whiles with do-

Ah, you’ve brought my steak and chips. Excellent.

rothy

Hang on a second... What’s this? Burgundy?

?

I expressly requested Beaujolais, did i not?

You did

And that witch, what has she foisted on us instead?

Burgundy? So she made a mistake

Mistake? You imagine that wolverine is capable of making mistakes? You didn’t...

What?

You didn’t actually...

What?

You mean to say you actually declared your lv? That you formally requested to stay between whiles?

I...

Oh my God, Zie, what have you done?

I... i don’t no

You don’t no?! This is worse than i feared Zie

...

It looks like she’s taken your k

My k?

Me thinks she’s found a way to ensnare you in her night’s tale.

Her knight’s tale?

Without the k.

And what does it mean? What should i do?

Get it back of course. Get it back or you’re a gonner... doomed as the day is dire, as the tomb is black as knight is night as nought is not.




To be kontinued