Friday, September 29, 2023

kwisatz haderach

The honeycomb lattice of things?


You heard me.

 

Oh dear. I don’t suppose you’re referring to a lattice of atoms, are you?

 

Nope.

 

I feared as much.

 

You did? I wonder why?

 

Because you’re always doing this.

 

Doing what?

 

Pushing your agenda – refusing to accept that what you see is what you get.

 

Er…

 

That things are real, not to be despised or denied just because they’re made of teeny weeny, prosaic little atoms; that reality is not something to be despised or disrespected just because it happens to be predominantly physical with a thin overlay of life; that life sustains wee patches of consciousness that seem to enjoy connecting to form larger structures such as “nations”, the same way cells frequently unite to form a greater multicellular body. All perfectly natural, if you ask me, and in no way requiring attention-seeking mystification.

 

So you want me to deny the honeycomb lattice – just because it adds an inconvenient layer of complexity to your model – to simply pretend it doesn’t exist?

 

What honeycomb lattice?! I have no idea what you’re on about.

 

No? But apparently it makes you fearful – presumably because it ain’t atomic.

 

Well your honeycomb thing is hardly going to be based on science, is it? Not if I’ve never heard of it before; not if you’re forever suggesting there’s “something else” which fundamentally alters the equation – a pseudoscientific “quantum field”.

 

But how would you know if you’ve not even looked into it? And why the anger? Why the fear? Why the rigid belief that only the atomic model makes sense?

 

There’s no anger, no fear, I’m just sick of your insistence that physical things have to be secondary to some weird, and apparently conscious, quantum field.

 

I see. It upsets you McConnell, doesn’t it? I'd like to understand.

 

It’s disturbing. Yes, I find it upsetting.

 

It looks like I’ve been insensitive pushing you to see things that contradict your worldview.

 

You could say.

 

I apologise. That was wrong of me.

 

Really, it’s no big deal – I just fail to see why you can’t be content with a perfectly rational model that satisfies everyone else.

 

I was content, for a long time, until things ever so slightly slipped out of focus... I experienced a paradigm collapse. Then I couldn’t unsee what had became painfully apparent.

 

Oh. How unpleasant.

 

Yes, on the one hand, but on the other it was exciting to connect.

 

Exciting?

 

It was exciting because instead of insisting that everything was built from the bottom up – from sub atomic particles upto galaxies and the entire universe – I saw how that couldn’t quite be achieved – for reasons I wouldn’t like to bore you with.

 

Hum.

 

I saw that there had to be a top-down explanation to fill in some of the gaps.

 

Er…

 

Where someone or something seemed to hold matter in place and guide its development in myriad ways. How else can we explain the incredible, impossible diversity and harmonics we see all around us, and the ever-steepening complexity curve as data accretion somehow continues to accelerate logarithmically.

 

Oh. Sounds like the Creator God argument found its way into your thought process.

 

Yes, either a creator God, or some kind of amorphous intelligence which couldn’t be limited to us few and far between sentient beings – had to be much, much more ubiquitous. 

 

So an intelligent or conscious Field is essential if you're unwilling to go full-medieval back to holding God entirely responsible for them gaps you're seeing. Well, you've opened a mighty can of worms, D, if there's anything in what you're saying.

 

Yes, I know. I wasn’t looking for a fight but there are unbridgeable gaps in the bottom-up atomic model.

 

Such as?

 

Such as life itself: Big what-the-heck "L". And Creation. The undeniable design or programming that has gone into it. The mere fact that we’re here discussing it conceptually using abstract, grammatical, structured language as if that in itself is perfectly normal.

 

I see... But the atomic model doesn’t deny consciousness.

 

Too little too late. For a top-down explanation it would have to be the key mover – shaping the landscape of life and things in general – at every scale, at every stage, at every level, not just an evolutionary afterthought.

 

But how can that be if consciousness is the result of electro-chemical processes in the brain?

 

You tell me.

 

Don’t be absurd. I'm not the one rejecting the orthodoxy. In any case, you couldn't just fiddle with the model, you'd have to turn everything on its head.

 

Precisely.

 

So you decided you had the authority, or the necessity, to dismiss the entirety of modern science and…

 

What choice do I have. Denying the leaps of faith that are baked into the existing model is no longer possible. I have to face the awkward truth that life cannot simply emerge from a vacuum – unless life is somehow or other itself a constant, or perhaps an organic offshoot of consciousness. In any case, how could electro-chemical processes in the brain explain the extraordinarily complex experience of consciousness, of being alive – how our thoughts, feelings, emotions, beliefs and personality traits all blend together seamlessly – if it’s merely the product of electro-chemical or synaptic responses in a vast galaxy of atoms known as the brain. It beggars belief.

 

Does it? There are trillions of cells connected together. Each one carries a small part of the consciousness. The brain is the central hub bringing it all together. I don’t see what your difficulty is.

 

No – but apart from intercellular electro-chemistry there’s music, aesthetics, poetry, philosophy, ethics, economics – the breadth and diversity of what consciousness is able to a. experience, b. consider and c.

 

C?

 

Actuate. Based on conscious experiences – sensory and linguistic inputs – a person is able to organise vast networks – a home, a family, a company of like-minded individuals, a nation or, in some rare cases, an entire planet. It beggars belief.

 

So you keep saying, so you say – failing to accept the power of simple sequential and parallel processes: such is nature’s rich and extraordinary diversity – even when viewed from the pinnacles of human ingenuity. Nature is indeed wondrous to behold, is it not? Miraculous, you might say, but all merely the product of nature’s need to survive against all odds in a cold and hostile universe. Natural selection at its finest. For life could only survive if and when, by happy chance, it stumbled on electro-chemical processes which appear to be rational, appear to be intelligent, appear to be problem-solving though in truth, fundamentally, they can be none of the above. It's just life doing what life does, organising things in the most efficient and successful way to ensure survival, always by trial and error, no matter what we, trapped in our by now self-aware minds, think, or like to imagine.

 

You speak as if we’re no more than a biological version of a computer.

 

And?

 

Well your computers aren’t actually conscious, are they?

 

Not yet. Not to the best of my knowledge.

 

So there must be something else explaining how we are.

 

Must be? I fail to see why, if we have no clear way of knowing what so-called "consciousness" actually is, or whether we actually are. Far better to stick to what can be measured empirically rather than dabbling with the dark arts of bodiless minds .


Well? There really doesn't seem to be any good explanation. There's an embarrassing accumulation of never-ending accidents which seem to lead ever further and onwards to ever higher levels of structure and organisation.


Like I said – nature truly is remarkable, but so too is the sub-atomic realm of quarks and bosons – a universe unto itself, busily providing the foundation for life itself at scales of complexity and microscopic infinitisitudes we're simply unable to fathom or comprehend. Your alternative, D, simply isn't necessary, and would drag science kicking and screaming back into witchcraft and mysticism. It would be a disaster of monumental proportions.

 

Isn’t it healthy, McConnell, to have competition in any arena? Isn't it competition, after all, that stimulates growth and development? Instead of insisting that the science is already settled – let’s entertain the possibility that consciousness is actually, potentially, a top down process which interfaces matter and cells, without a doubt – but which doesn’t necessarily originate there... a bit like a TV signal, or the internet – yes – it comes through modems, routers, hard drives, computer chips and servers – but ultimately it originates in TV studios or the minds of individuals all over the world – who simply use the hardware to disseminate their creative content.


Who knows, D, who knows... interesting speculation, of course, but let's turn it round, let's look at it another way: do you really imagine our civilisation could withstand such an attack, were this to be validated? We would have to learn an entirely new way of thinking. We would have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Instead of explaining how the universe operates and everything within it – we'd be reduced to questioning what awareness is, and whether or not the universe is merely a product of awareness – a rubber tire – itself amounting to naught – knocking against the asphalt of consciousness – neither of which are empirically verifiable... Be a scientist, D, by all means... Question what you will, but leave the mind alone, or rather leave her safely ensconced in the brain, or else pay the ultimate price for seeking to fly too high, too close to the sun.

 

Ah – but what if consciousness itself is part of nature's biology – is programmed to resist change, until the time is ripe, until all necessary ingredients are in place? What if our conversation is, itself, a mere continuation, a furtherance of the same process that gave you atoms, gave you primitive life, and then complex life forms – what if all the inorganic physical, then organic biological processes now continue at a third level – which as yet we perceive as through a glass darkly – but which is, in fact, merely the next iteration of the mathematical progression of life, or matter marching towards the great attractor of infinity?

 

Ok, D, there might be something in what you’re saying.

 

Something worth investigating, McConnell, if nothing more. This isn’t a belief. Merely a hypothesis that may or may not be borne out by further research.

 

I can go along with that.

 

Wonderful. Now, according to this purely hypothetical line of thinking – the atoms themselves may not necessarily be the key factor: neither the signal generator nor bearer.

 

No?

 

They may be – don’t get me wrong – but equally they may not.

 

Ok. And what’s this leading to?

 

The fact that atoms are little points in space – are they not?

 

Hardly controversial.

 

But that is insufficient.

 

It is?

 

Yes, because according to your model – space is meaningless without time to animate it, to allow movement, so our atoms are somehow where time and space converge, perhaps like a beach where waves and pebbles wash together endlessly.

 

Right. But I fail to see where this is leading.

 

Just a thought process, nothing more.

 

Ok, if you say so.

 

Well, time and space have been blended or merged into space-time, haven’t they?

 

Yes. By Einstein.

 

A merry fiction, if ever there was one.

 

I beg your pardon.

 

Necessitated by the abject exclusion of consciousness.

 

Huh?

 

Substituting time you create a purely physical model in which things, although fixed, can “at the same time” change, evolve, proceed.

 

At the same time?

 

Well, in the passage of time, which conveniently flows through all space and all things as a given, a tick ticking constant of almost limitless morphability.

 

And you think this is a contrivance?

 

I think, or I accept, that time is a necessary substitute if consciousness is denied, otherwise matter would not be animatable. It would be stuck in its lifeless grid of frozen ness.

 

But what’s wrong with time?

 

Nothing. It works perfectly, up to a point.

 

Up to a point?

 

Within an age.

 

An age?

 

An aeon.

 

Oh dear.

 

But then it too, being inanimate and highly linear, proves woefully inflexible, is unable to leap into another channel, another age, another harmonic without some other agency.

 

Oh.

 

Because, like a river or a train track it’s only able to head one way at a given time, whereas in fact…

 

Yes?

 

In fact things have to flip out of the channel from time to time.

 

They do?

 

Absolutely, otherwise things couldn’t revert to the singularity, the all-unifying one, and our universe would either disintegrate or freeze over.

 

Oh.

 

But let me concede – time works well enough, for the most part.

 

Music to my ears.

 

So you’d be excused for ignoring its shortcomings.

 

Such as?

 

Yes, if you zoom in to the atomic level, or even closer, you notice things are not quite as they seem.

 

How do you mean?

 

Your tried and trusted space-time is not actually monolithic. 

 

No?

 

It oscillates ever so slightly. Wobbles. Like jelly.

 

Really?

 

Yes.

 

And?

 

So between the place where an atom may or may not be found – where time and space in some way converge – there are other non-places where atoms cannot manifest, which we’re not even able to detect – in between.

 

Oh.

 

There, off grid, things are much less certain. There, you are essentially neither fish nor foul, neither here nor there – for consciousness can’t fix you, can’t pin you down against reality itself, is unable to assign a value of one or nought.

 

Ah. So there you have it D – reality always needed that physical aspect. There's nothing atavistic in me focussing on cells or atoms. It needs people like me to…

 

Absolutely. How else are we going to pin the tail on the pig? There's no denying the lattice of physicality, but the ones and zeros have to work together, McConnell. And thinking about them rationally is only possible if you find a way to articulate or, better still, experience their relationship. In a real sense, you might say, we are the product of their interplay; make of it what you will.

 

So reality, you’re suggesting – is itself like an interface.

 

Yes, I suppose I am.

 

But the interface is not where things actually originate.

 

Yep. Like the creative content that finds its way onto youtube or any other platform.

 

Ah ha. Interesting idea. And there’s a whole dark neither-here-nor-there-ness –

 

Yes, between time and space where never the twain shall meet, which perhaps our mind  frequents every time it pulses off, and reconnects with the universe within.

 

Which is where the thought waves or inspirations do their "thinking", their conscious or unconscious nessing, before making their way up onto the platform of 3D reality if they qualify?

 

Correct. Up or else down – if reality is more like the wall of a cave or a screen where thoughts, ideas, things are projected, as if the present course can be extrapolated endlessly.

 

Ah ha. Seems reasonable enough.

 

Yes, well this is mere conjecture – as you know – but if there were anything to this conjecture – we’d want to test the hypothesis and find whether it can be investigated empirically, and somehow measured or affected – in other words – whether we can develop a more sophisticated, a simpler model of reality which enables us to arrange things, and experience things with greater ease, greater harmony, with reference to fluctuations in the field of consciousness.

 

Ah – well that would be, indeed, a fascinating area of enquiry D – though I fail to see how it could possibly be investigated. Things that exist outside regular space time – where the lines neither converge nor connect – cannot be visible or measurable.

 

True, McConnell, unless we’re able to think outside the box, so to speak – to find a less cumbersome way to measure quantum effects.

 

Quantum effects. Hum. Merely the process of considering the possibility – of discussing the alternative alters the balance of probabilities in some way, does it not?

 

Yes, you’re right.

 

For if conscious-ness is not primarily the product of electro-chemical processes – if it’s the constant – the given on which all things – on which space and time somehow rest…

 

Then it’s going to be in some way hackable.

 

Hackable? I’m not sure I like that term.

 

No.

 

We’d be looking for harmonic resonances – wouldn’t we, or interference patterns of some description?

 

Yes.

 

We’d be looking for background conscious-ness becoming aware of and even responding to the conscious-ness reaching out to it from our reality – from within our cognitive processes. Like a close encounter of the third kind!

 

Correct.

 

Which should be possible if conscious-ness is universal.

 

If indeed, leading to direct contact.

 

The shortening of the way.

 

Kwisatz haderach?


The kwisatz haderach.

 


But I thought that’s meant to be a person, a fictional messiah?

 

Yes, but here it’s uncapitalized. In any case, what are stories if we are part of the interface between the processes of physical reality and our reality of human thought and organisation?

 

Ah ha. The anthropomorphic principle.

 

Precisely.

 

We have to experience as humans, real or imaginary, whatever it is we would understand conceptually. To interface or die.

 

Die?

 

In the sense of becoming meaningless, or obsolete: disconnected from our light source, our over-All.

 

Indeed! So let us consider the shortening of the way in terms of physical reality, as if it were a natural process, not merely a literary or mythological device.

 

Ok. Like a meandering river cutting through a loop to shorten its course – if, fundamentally, we were never completely separated from the quantum field of background, omnipresent conscious-ness…

 

Then the same could happen at breakthrough moments when the meandering loops are sufficiently close together.

 

Instead of endlessly routing through the systems and processes of a reality we know all too well – would it not be possible, in certain instances, to route directly through the Field itself? For a spark to leap the gap, the "void", and establish a new pathway, a new precedent, a new arrangement of things.

 

Without blowing things up.

 

Without shorting out the entire circuit? Ay, there’s matter in this consideration after all.

 

Indeed.

 

And you think we’re at such an inflexion point?

 

We’re having this discussion.

 

And we’ve been pre-prepared by literature and mythology, have we not?

 

So the answer is yes?

 

If it can be felt precognitively…

 

And brought to reality.

 

Both?

 

Yes. The infinite is so vast and unwieldy that things coming to fruition have to be felt or intuited if we’re going to engineer a quantum event. We can thus become aware of something still outside our physical reality, currently being experienced in 3d as stressful interference or mounting dissonance.

 

And you think we’re active players?

 

I fail to see how it can be otherwise. Somehow or other we are part of the Field and sense the need, the urgent desire to balance the two sides, to bring about a shortening, to simplify an excessively extended pathway with pure simplicity, a creation event in which the present arrangement of things in reality is suddenly altered, quite possibly without our clear awareness.

 

Indeed?

 

Indeed. One suspects that our clear awareness would prevent the process from actuating in time and space.

 

Why so?

 

Because awareness tends to lock things in place, doesn't it. A watched kettle never boils until I allow it to by relaxing my grip.

 

So presumably there’s another part of us which is always aware and masterminds the process.

 

Perhaps, but whether we’re able to connect with it is another matter.

 

It? Don’t you mean he or she?

 

One suspects that sexual polarities are a feature of our divided reality, not the quantum field.

 

Right, so my other aspect out there would be neither male nor female.

 

Neither here nor there. Neither then or now, from our perspective.

 

It boggles the mind.

 

Absolutely, but in actual fact it might not be half as strange as it seems.

 

No?

 

No, one suspects, no matter where you are things always have to be somehow normal.

 

But how could things be normal in a quantum flux where nothing is determined, nothing is fixed?

 

Well, it’s hard to imagine unless you consider the myths of sorcerers able to shape shift, translocate and cast spells that somehow transform one thing into another.

 

But those are just myths. They couldn’t be real.

 

Correct. They couldn’t be real from our position in the continuum of space and time, or on our side of the curve, but if you were born in a world where energy or competing dimensions take precedent over physicality, because your particular reality straddles a fault line and still experiences undivided conscious-ness, then it would be strange or disturbing to imagine a world such as ours where things are fixed, as if consciousness were not the universal force connecting all and keeping things in a more amenable state of flux.

 

Ah.

 

You would be aware of the other side, of our reality, as a brutal, brittle unnatural realm in which by some demonic force the isness had been supplanted by a rigid, disconnectedness, which periodically resulted in convulsive change. You would even feel the storm building and consciously or unconsciously would play some part in experiencing the change and assisting it from your side, all things being connected. To fall down into this world would indeed be a terrible loss – like being trapped in hell, like losing access to God.

 

Oh. That puts it in a very different light.

 

Indeed.

 

But how come that world, that side wouldn’t be infinitely fluid, chaotically so, as one imagines the quantum field to be?

 

Perhaps at times that would be something they experience, but generally conscious-ness, whatever it is, always arranges things, or awareness of things, to be meaningful, within certain bands, otherwise the anthropomorphic principle would be invalidated.

 

So conscious-ness can adjust matters to keep people engaged and involved.

 

I imagine it has to. But in any case, nature abhors a vacuum. Without a sense of beauty or harmony you start slipping into noise, and noise amounts to nought, if I’m not mistaken.

 

But noise is present throughout.

 

Yep. It’s one of the two states, isn’t it. Presumably noise is not absolutely noise, but seems to be so to us, to where we are in the space-time continuum.

 

Yes. And noise is also part of consciousness, so sooner or later it flips into pattern recognition or awareness of recurring harmonies or rhythms which are somehow slightly less than completely random. It can be an infinitesimal deviation from perfect randomness, but that is enough – sooner or later a new awareness of perfection and beauty starts to emerge from chaos, and awareness, as you know, is an irresistible force. Matter and myth start grappling, struggling to crack the code, to own the emergent awareness, the new “me”, to digest its endless stream of data, its feelings, its observations. They intertwine, coiling together like snakes climbing a slippery pole, and thus human beings, the children of matter and myth are born, and the process continues at ever new levels and scales… and thus it is, and here we are, in a conversation paradoxically attempting to use words and flat-think to describe the infinite.

 

Indeed, here at the very cusp of our next inflexion point, suddenly aware as we haven’t been for aeons past, attempting to bring the blurred images into focus.

 

Suddenly aware as, I suspect, we have always been but needly ignored// in order to experience the ride, the unfolding interplay of matter and myth, while they seemed to take us concurrently in wildly different directions until…

 

Crack.

 

The egg of time fractures and chick 

 

Or baby snake, if you prefer, emerges.

 

A shudder of realisation. A sudden chill as time comes to a standstill and the whole captures awareness in a moment of pure kwisatz haderach.


A consummation devoutly to be wish’d, in which the honeycomb lattice restores equilibrium harmonically, and for a brief eternity… conscious ness-ity story-tells ineffably, does it not?

 

Indeed

 

A single word

And the rest

As they say

Is history

if  0=1

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

a tale of James and Elizabeth's failure to see unerringly

Can’t you just settle down.

 

Er...

 

Instead of upsetting everyone, try fitting in, try being more amenable.

 

Amenable?

 

Accommodating.

 

We like our big words, don’t we?

 

Friendly, if you prefer.

 

In other words, you want me to change.

 

Change? If you like, but I wasn’t thinking of it that way.

 

No?

 

More like rediscovering the gentle man one suspects is lurking within.

 

Gentleman. No. Definitely not. Not a chance.

 

You prefer to be an enfant terrible?

 

I prefer to be nothing of the sort.

 

Huh?

 

These are your labels, not mine. You seem to feel the urgent need to say I’m this or that. To box me under a convenient description. I wonder why. I wonder why instead of allowing me to be myself, instead of seeing me as a manifestation of the infinite in human form, you insist on thinging me, QR coding me with your all too facile epithets.

 

Facile epithets?! Look who’s the one using the grandiloquent words.

 

Too true. Meeting like with like, whereas in fact life is infinitely simpler, infinitely less definable, infinitely...

 

Infinitely what?

 

Not x marks the spot, whatever x, the spot, or things may seem to be.

 

So you’re giving yourself an existential licence to ignore all social conventions, to do as you will, to please yourself in the name of “infinity”. I am infinite spirit, i am uncontainable therefore do not presume to judge me, or impose your bourgeois values on me, no matter how reasonable they may seem.

 

My, you don’t like the open sea, the unfenced garden, the undotted i, do you?

 

I don’t like unrestrained egoism masquerading as high-mindedness. Let’s be honest, James, you insult and offend people, and then you claim it’s all done for the good of “infinity”, for the good of preserving your undomesticated, unbound, unprocessed, unhomogenised nature. The fact that you leave a trail of destruction in your wake is merely collateral damage and, apparently, irrelevant.

 

On the contrary, it might be very important.

 

In the sense that you benefit from creative destruction?

 

In the sense that... once there was a young man who was walking through a forest, trying his hardest not to step on and insect or worm, trying even to avoid harming small plants, grasses or trees.

 

Oh no... Your story is so obvious, you need not go on. I know exactly what you want to say

 

Do you?

 

Yes. You want to show me how it was impossible for him to get anywhere, that his desire to avoid harm became an obsession, the worst form of OCD, until eventually...

 

Eventually what?

 

Well, either he might have got stuck, unable to take another step...

 

Or?

 

Or he might have met someone who persuaded him that it was impossible to avoid harming all creatures, that in doing so he was compromising his ability to function as a human being, that he...

 

Your version is rather dull because it’s all explanation. Mine doesn’t need to explain what may have happened because I’m not trying to prove a point, I’m just allowing myself to tell a story if you’d let me, which for some reason you can’t or won’t.

 

Oh. I...

 

You didn’t realise it, but you were unable or unwilling to cut me the slack needed for me to spread my butterfly wings and tell my tale.

 

But you don’t have butterfly wings.

 

Ah, how would you ever know if you were ever insistent on holding my proverbial arms by my side, preventing me from raising them, flapping them, for better or for worse, to the best of my ability as a natural, happy, joyful expression of my infinite spirit, of my er…

 

Your er?

 

Ok, my isness, if you prefer.

 

More nonsense. More unfettered egoism masquerading as wisdom or philosophic sensibilities.

 

More angry epithets. But don’t you want to know what happened to our young man in the forest?

 

Not really. I expect you’ll just make something up to prove whatever it is you’re intent on proving.

 

Oh no, I certainly wouldn’t want to insert myself into story. That would be a recipe for disaster.

 

But what would stop you? You’ve already insisted you must have complete licence to express yourself no matter what the cost to others.

 

And?

 

You live for the apparent satisfaction of pleasing yourself, do you not?

 

How could I please myself by controlling or manipulating story.

 

Er...

 

Story is only alive, vibrant and magical if I grant it the same freedom I grant myself.

 

But story’s just a tool, a means to an end, a thing you yourself craft, surely?

 

Ah, that explains your confusion.

 

My confusion?

 

Yes, if you imagine story is something I’d wish to control, or be able to.

 

But how else are you going to write it or tell it, if you don’t use your brain, your imagination, if you don’t structure it and impose some semblance of order?

 

I can use my brain and my imagination all I like, but they merely get me into and hopefully hold me in the saddle. Story has to take me forward itself, and that’s not just making a horse go where I want it to, for story is fundamental, as fundamental as spirit itself, or infinity, and so the relationship is infinitely...er

 

What?

 

I can’t say “complicated”, though in some respects that would be true, nor can I say “simpler”, though that too is true, so best I pause at the word “infinitely” and allow the silence or the unspoken words, the simple truth, so to speak, to express themselves should you or anyone be willing to hear.

 

Oh dear! So your story is not, you’re saying, really yours.

 

Correct. A life of its own it leads, one might say.

 

Might one? So you’ll be as surprised at the outcome as i shall?

 

Without a doubt. How else is infin-ity going to continue flowing through me, or whatever it is doing?

 

But, you mean to say you influence infinity not in the least?

 

No, I don’t. How can one influence the immeasurable?

 

Then what?

 

It’s a kind of holy trinity, isn’t it.

 

It is, is it?

 

Yes. There’s me with my thoughts and ideas, my beliefs and preconceptions, none of which are completely irrelevant, none of which can or should be eliminated.

 

Ok.

 

Then there’s story itself, or at a broader level infin-ity.

 

Do you have to hyphenate it?

 

No.

 

Then why do you?

 

I know not, or perhaps I do but I couldn’t say for certain, not explicitly.

 

Why? You’re afraid?

 

Fear can’t be a factor where infin-ity is concerned.

 

Why not?

 

Because as soon as fear becomes a factor you’ve lost your golden goose, you no longer have infin-ity, do you?

 

I... don’t know.

 

You can take my word for it.

 

If I must. That’s two. What about the third?

 

Of yes, the third... what do you think it might be?

 

No idea. You’re the one with all the ideas.

 

Er… the third must be everything else.

 

Everything?

 

Yep.

 

As in...

 

Everything.

 

The universe?

 

Yes, but more.

 

How can there be more than the universe?

 

Curious, isn’t it, but the universe just seems to describe the physical side of things, as in matter, space and time.

 

And there’s more?

 

Without a doubt.

 

Like what?

 

Well, matter, space and time are all vital parts of reality, are they not?

 

I don’t know. I can’t say I’ve ever really given it much thought. But surely you’re not suggesting that something more than the entire universe, something we’re referring to as “reality” is part of the story process, an actor so to speak rather than a passive background, ambience or...

 

Precisely. How can it be otherwise?

 

Er...

 

How else could infin-ity be real, so to speak, not just an empty, meaningless mathematical concept?

 

I – have – no – idea.

 

I know the feeling, Elizabeth. It’s rather daunting, is it not? But let us trust that it is so?

 

Trust something so outlandish? Whyever would I wish to put my trust in such an absurdity? which in all likelihood is a self-serving theory, designed or intended to support your unfettered self-importance? your belief that you have the right to ignore social conventions and time-tested moral codes.

 

Good question, Elizabeth.

 

I wish you wouldn’t insert my name into your text. I much prefer to remain invisible.

 

I know, but story, in the end, needs a name in order to attach to our world, our reality, so I have to submit: submit or deny infin-ity her right to connect through man and mind with our side of things.

 

Submit?! Humph! You’re just twisting things as usual to fit your agenda.

 

But were that true, were i acting disingenuously without integrity, I would lose story’s thread and I’d be out in the cold, without fairyland, without story, or God for that matter.

 

Without God? What on earth do you mean?

 

Because unless I allow the infinite to work its magic, to weave a spell through a forest of words, to reoxygenate matter itself, enabling it to breathe and evolve, yea, even to transubstantiate as and when...

unless I submit to story in good faith, allowing her to take precedence over matter, over our vaunted inventory of things, over our many conventions and codes, I would have no relationship with the infin-it, nor with her living, meaningful God, merely with her hollow substitutions – i would find myself, like Hamlet, on a sterile promontory upon which I, or my denial of that which cannot be reduced by mind, were the deciding factor, the be all and end all; in which I, the human intellect with all its good intentions, principles, its ethics would be unable to experience that which simply is, in which even God would be cut out by my perfectly rational refusal to accept and work with the irreducible reality He presented us with, perhaps because it is too risky, or too unpredictable, or too demanding, perhaps because…

 

Have you quite finished James?

 

Yes, I believe I have.

 

In that case, perhaps you’d like to...

 

Story, in fact, is never to be denied, Elizabeth.

 

I thought you said that’s what people do.

 

Yes, we do, but it always comes round and bites our behind.

 

It does? I’m not sure I...

 

When you die, if not before.

 

Oh. Not sure i like the sound of that.

 

I know. It’s a little bit bothersome, isn’t it?

 

You’re not by any chance referring to hell, are you?

 

I might be, indirectly, unintentionally.

 

Er...

 

One suspects that hell hath no fury like a story scorned, bearing in mind that story is on the female, open-ended side of our ledger.

 

Oh. So, you think that a story scorned doesn’t just go away?

 

How can it? It’s still part of you, a part you’ve denied. So when you’ve died you no longer have the ability to keep it away, its chickens come home to roost.

 

Oh dear! Just when I thought hell was merely a tool of social control.

 

You’d be so lucky.

 

So then infinity has its revenge? Doesn’t sound very divine.

 

Revenge? I doubt it’s revenge. I guess it’s just a rebalancing of energies, or matter, if you prefer. Honestly, I couldn’t say. The truth is never far away, and always waiting for us at the bottom of the garden path by the little gate leading out into the back of beyond.

 

Danger, danger is all I hear.

 

So play it safe, and rest assured that no matter what, story will always make minor incursions, slight inroads into your world

 

Into my reality

 

By any convenient means – even through me and my refusal to play by the rules.

 

Even through you – so you can get away with murder doing anything you like in the name of story.

 

Yes, but who would i be fooling? Unlike you, i seem to be unable to keep from stepping through the gate into the back of beyond, and thus I am at death’s disposal, so help me God, whenever i leave the garden of things contained, things contrived, things seemingly known.

 

Sanctimonious prig that you are.

 

Sanctimonious prig that I am. But it was nice to imagine that I’m some kind of hero. It was emboldening to my spirit, and you never know, someday, just maybe, I’ll stop deceiving myself and start to practice what I preach, and finally, truly unleash story’s butterfly wings


 

0=1

if only