Sunday, May 17, 2020

a-fraid of...


I’m not afraid.

No?

No, of course not. Why should I be?

Why not be afraid?

Huh?

Why not. You have good cause.

What do you mean? What are you trying to say?

I’m not trying to say anything. I’m stating a fact – you have good cause to be afraid.

Yes, I heard you, but it sounds ominous, it sounds like a threat. Why would you say that?

If it happens to be true?


I mean, if you don’t want me to tell the truth, of course I can zip my lips and just say whatever you want to hear.

Well, I don’t see why it has to be true.

Ah.

Ah what?

You don’t see, do you, why it has to be true.

Well, yes, did I not make myself clear?

Abundantly.

And?

And what?

What did I make clear?

That you don’t see.

You’re taking me out of context.

Am I? You did say, did you not, “I don’t see”?

Yes, but then I said something equally important. I wasn’t saying I can’t see.

No?

No, of course not. It’s a figure of speech, isn’t it.

It is?

Obviously. It was more a polite way of disagreeing than actually an admission that I don’t

Or can’t

Or can’t see – exactly.

So, you were disagreeing.

Yes, I suppose I was.

You suppose?

Well, yes, if you want me to state it in black and white, yes, I was politely disagreeing.

With my statement?

Yes.

That you have good cause to be afraid.

Yes, but is it absolutely necessary to keep repeating it?

No, do you wish me not to?

No, it’s a free country – if you want to keep repeating yourself you’re welcome to do so.

Actually, we kind of veered off topic so you never got round to facing the implications of what I stated, regarding there being good cause to fear.

Well, I rather feel I’ve already dealt with the issue.

You do?

Well yes, I feel I’ve established the fact that I’m on the record as being disinclined to accept the veracity of your statement, politely.

You see me as a fearmonger?

In a manner of speaking, yes.

That I’m peddling fear for some kind of ulterior motive? For the thrill of scaring you or some other unsuspecting victims?

I wouldn’t presume to know your motives. They may be noble. Your opinion may be highly qualified, yet with all due respect, I’m disinclined to accept it.

Even if it is based on fact?

Ah, but that is precisely where I beg to differ.

You do?

Yes.

Having reviewed the facts as I present them?

No, I chose not to review the facts because I do not agree with fear – I fail to accept that it’s a healthy or constructive emotion.

You mean to say that fear, in your opinion, is an “emotion”?

Well, yes, what else could it be?

I believe we’ve found the bone of contention.

You do?

Yes.

In fear being an emotion?

Absolutely.

How so?

Because fear is not, in fact, an emotion.

Huh?

Is not, in fact, an emotion.

So you say.

Yes, I like statements of fact to be clear and categorical.

Well, yes, but I believe, with all due respect, that fear is, in fact, an emotion – and…

I apologise profusely for interrupting you, dear beloved interlocuter, but I feel bound to highlight a matter of semantics which seems to be causing some confusion.

By all means, dear interlocuter.

An emotion such as anger, happiness, surprise, disenchantment or sadness – these are moods.

Indeed.

Moods which can move us strongly from a general state of balance and equanimity.

Indeed.

Whereas fear itself is not a mood.

No?

No, indeed.

Then what exactly might it be?

It’s a state of arousal to a perceived or real threat.


It’s in fact an energy state. An arousal, a preparedness, an alertness which prepares us for one of two responses – fight or flight.

Yes, which is precisely what I don’t like about it.

Understandably. One hardly likes the idea of having a choice between a rock and a hard place – I agree. But bear in mind that there’s always number three.

Number three?

Absolutely.

?

Whenever we see a sharp polarisation between two possibilities, somewhere in the temporary indecision, the as yet undecided quantum state of “what to do now – how to respond?” lurketh the third.

As in number three?

Precisely.

And what, exactly, might the third be?

Anyone’s guess. Yes, the fight or flight response is programmed – hardwired into our system – but our bio-physical system is, believe it or not, part of a bigger, less binary, non-physical system.

I’m er…

Lost?

Sceptical.

Not surprising. Most of us prefer to adhere to the bio-physical system – which is why most people’s response is either or.

Fight or flight.

Exactly. But that doesn’t mean it has to be, because the third is baked into the cake.

It is? Are you sure?

Absolutely. It’s mathematically necessary.

How do you mean?

Well, when you look at the code of creation – or delve into the code of consciousness itself – you can’t help but notice that things cannot be ever either-or.

They can’t?

Nope.

Why not?

Because if it was only ever a case of choosing between one of two variables, consciousness would never, simply couldn’t have mathematically given us everything we have that distinguishes life itself and, more to the point, humanity, from a simple binary computer code.

Like er…

Poetry, music, laughter, happiness, anger, confusion, inventiveness, conversation… the list is endless.

You mean to say all these require another variable?

Absolutely.

I don’t see why.

Correct.

Huh?

You don’t see why – because you’re currently using binary processing – which is a place you feel comfortable in, where you feel it’s safer to operate and process data.

?

Because as long as you’re processing at a binary level you neither need to nor are able to confront the third.

This mystical phantom.

Which we don’t even need to call the third.

No? Then what?

Not even “what” – because the minute we call it something – the brain starts processing it in the same way…

?

As a binary function – an either or.

Oh.

Rather than a quantum “what if”.

Huh?

A quantum “um”.

?

Because in that as yet undecided state of, for example fear, when you ain’t decided yet whether it’s fight or flight you’re going to choose – in that very split-second undecidedness, an other is tenuously “present” – is always available – is lurking in the shadows of “um-ness” or “if-ness”.

! Do you have to use such idiotic terms?

My apologies. I tried to quarantine them with speech marks, but evidently that wasn’t sufficient.

Hum!

The problem, as you evidently appreciate, is that the quantum level cannot be limited to an either-or.

I don’t see why not.

Correct.

It’s just a figure of speech.

Indeed. But at the quantum level it’s more than a figure of speech.

It is?

Yep.

?

It’s a statement of fact. It’s the binary mind resisting the alternative which is silently present – which involves a little shuffle into conscious-awareness.

Er…

Out of the binary thinking mind – into the consciousness experiencing mind – the mind that is aware of itself being not only a thought-process but also a seat of awareness.

A seat of awareness? Hum – I like the sound of that.

Yes, you should, because without it you’re no better than a computer or an animal.

Hey, wait a minute… You’re not trying to say that I’m no better than an animal, are you? I happen to think animals are highly intelligent.

So do I. We completely agree on that. In fact, many animals appear to have transcended their animal mind and arrived at a state of conscious-awareness in which they are better able to access the human mind than we humans can.

Ah.

Crazy, isn’t it?

Well, yes, it would be, if it were true.

So, we have a lot to learn from animals who have transcended their limited animal awareness.

But how would they be able to if, as you say, animals, like computers, are only able to process thoughts without being self-aware.

I didn’t actually use the term “self-aware” did I?

No, but I’m guessing that’s more or less what you meant.

It’s close enough – so we’ll go with it. How?

Yes.

How do you think?

I have no idea.

But if I’ve already mentioned the third, and the quantum field which makes an other, no matter what that other might be, possible, then surely you have everything you need to come up with the answer.

So animals can access the quantum field?

Possibly.

Then what other explanation could there possibly be?

The quantum field takes us back to pre-form.

It does?

Yep.

And?

So, at the quantum level you aren’t yet defined in any way, shape or form.

You mean I don’t exist?

No.

You mean I don’t exist as a me, as a person or thing, as something definable?

You’re pre-definition at the quantum level. The minute the quantum field flips either way then you become defined.

So the quantum field is a binary coin flipper.

It sounds like it, doesn’t it.

So you’re contradicting yourself.

It sounds like it.

But…

But you see we’re using language and language pertains to the binary level of physical reality – so language always takes us back to the either-or scenario, always ends tying us up in semantic knots – which is why poetry works so hard to play around with words, using metaphors, allusions and imagery to un-binarize language to the extent that that is possible.

Oh.

So, the quantum field doesn’t actually flip between two choices though that’s how we represent it here in our physical, thought processing reality.

Ok.

In actual fact the quantum field co-exists with any possible physicalisation or physical manifestation – no matter what.

Way too mystical for me.

Yes. So let’s rewind.

Back to the animal becoming conscious like a human?

Good idea.

Well?

Well, in this reality there are animals which we processed mentally and visually, labelling and defining as animals. This is a categorisation which works well as long as I’m holding certain co-ordinates, as long as I’m fixed within certain parameters, ok?

Ok.

But as soon as I go back to fundamentals, which I’m able to do in literally no time at all by accessing my conscious-awareness – by retreating from regular binary processing…

Then you can get creative and unfix those parameters or categorisations?

Absolutely.

And a fish can stop being a fish?

A fish doesn’t necessarily “stop being a fish” because it simply starts being what is now a better definition or representation of what it is given the new parameters I’m operating within.

Ah.

So, if I’ve shifted frequency from 74 Hz to 196 Hz – at this new frequency it may be meaningless to talk about fish because there ain’t no water, for example, and we’re all floating around in a kind of electrically conductive plasma – whatever.

So, whatever equated to fish at 74 Hz might now be another creature?

Might even be a part of me – a 74th toe, for example, a mandible or an aspect of my consciousness which was inaccessible at 74 Hz, which is now clear and self-evident.

Oh my God. That would be insane – were it true.

Absolutely. It would be insane – unless it were real – which it would be if we shifted frequency to the band where it is.

But this is all just hypothetical, isn’t it? I mean… we’re not really able to shift frequencies like that, are we?

No?

And the quantum field, you’re referencing – it doesn’t really exist, does it?

No, not to the binary processing mind, it does not exist. But then again…

What?

If it doesn’t actually exist – then you would not be human.

I… what?

Would you?

Er…

Because, mathematically you’d be forever caught between a rock and a hard place – forever simply choosing an “a” or a “b” without access to a third – without the possibility of being a thinking mind that is concurrently aware of itself, or aware of me – over and above itself.

Hum… I

You’re experiencing that natural state of resistance, in which the binary processor tries to prevent simple awareness from entering and upsetting the ideal equation – but bear in mind that the binary mind cannot be all you are – and so, should you choose to grant it hegemony over self-awareness, you’ll merely be choosing to ignore or deny the third, presumably because the binary thought process keeps you from having to face what you’re secretly afraid of.

Uh oh…

The feeling of fear – the awareness of a precipice.

Cut. I don’t want to discuss it.

The knowledge that things…

No. I said I don’t accept your fear mongering.

Are only superficially things, and that fear

For Christ’s sake man!

Is merely a gateway, a portal

I can’t hear you.

To the great beyond, within.

I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. Nah, nah, na nah nah.

.

Hey, wtf!

.

Where did he go?

.

This is getting ridiculous.

.

Merry? Where the hell?!

.

Ok, ok, you called my bluff.

.

You’ve made your point.

.

You’re freaking me out, man.

.

Oh God, I can’t breathe.

.

Panic attack.

.

Breathe. Breathe. Gotta keep breathing.

.

[sobbing for breath] I’m not going to be defeated by that arsehole. I’m going to stay calm.

.

[lying on the ground in agony] I’m in control. I’m… in control!

.

[appearing to die]

.

[apparently dead]

.

[standing next to his body – nonplussed] Ok Merry – you’ve made your point.

[smiling]

You bastard! Did you have to take it to the limit one more time?

I simply observed the protocols.

“observed the protocols” – asshole.

I merely stepped back. No one compelled you to melt down like that.

Oh – so how was I supposed to react when you just vaporised?

You had a choice.

Choice?

Fight or flight.

What about you’re precious “third”.

What about it?

Well, why didn’t it materialise?

Who says it didn’t?

Look at me – there on the floor.

Where?

There?

[Merry looking theatrically at Zie lying on the floor]

Well?

Well what?

I’m dead.

Are you? Why so sure?

I think I can tell a dead body from someone having a nap.

Well if you’re dead then who’s talking to me?

Duh! My soul, of course.

Your soul. Well, I for one don’t believe in souls.

What?

Like I said, I don’t believe in souls.

Then what the hell am I supposed to be?

No idea. Consciousness perhaps?

Consciousness. Well, If that’s the case…

Then you’re hardly dead, are you?

What – so I can just step back into my body?

Do you want to?

Well, it might be a good idea.

But you don’t seem to be ready to accept the third, do you?

Oh, I think I can manage that.

Because if you don’t, you could hardly step back into the body. There would be too much resistance.

There would.

Yes, you’d be forced to confront your heavily guarded, more precious than gold fear.

I would? Oh dear. Well, perhaps I’m willing to give it a try.

Perhaps. Personally, I don’t care either way.

You wouldn’t, mister quantum science buff.

Got to keep neutral, haven’t i?

Give me a break – sanctimonious prig.

Harsh words – look Zie – I can take both sides – in fact i can take all three if i decapitalise.

Oh, that again?

Well, yes, it helps. Why not give it a try? It makes the frequency shift glissade a lot easier to handle.

Ok then, i’ll give it a try. So i just click my heels together like Dorothy, do i – and utter – “there’s no place like home?”

Sounds great – give it a try!

Give me a break. I was kidding.

Whatever. See you.

Wait a minute. Damn.

.

He’s left me to clean up this mess all alone.

.

Selfish bastard.

I heard that.

Stop listening to my disembodied rantings.

.

“There’s no place like home” – I can’t believe i is actually doing this.

.

…like home

.

..me


01010101010101010101010101  101010101010101010101010101010101010101~




0=1

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Thanks for all that

My partners in crime -- what a wonderful run it has been, has it not?
We robbed the world blind
Utterly hoodwinked
fooled the little dears into believing we were here to help
here to serve
while all the time
we cut flesh from their chemically suffused
bodies
flesh and useful bits of their psychic arsenal
draining them of the ability to think
straight
so obfuscating their ability to discern the wood
from the trees
that they poor souls
were convinced
still are
that they owe me
that they have not done enough
to save the pitiable planet they domicile upon.
If only they knew
but fat chance of that -- fat chance
for we served them a potent dish -- paid them a shekel
or two for their complicity
for their ill-informed agreement to bow
before the goddess of mal-informed consent

Poor dears
Poor, poor fools -- we have had such fun robbing you
blind
robbing and were I to say destroying you
would that be interpreted as hyperbole
or finally
finally taken as gospel truth?
I wonder
You see -- you are as good as dead.
To admit to yourselves how utterly
utterly misplaced your faith has been in our shallow beyond words
lies and deceptions
would break your little conclaves of remaining ego
And how to survive such a blow
I know not.
So die, dear ones, die
in ignominy
and know that no one aided your destruction more than your own
desperate desire to believe our bald concoction
of half-baked, scarcely credible  ramblings
more than yourselves -- for you so wanted to believe that reason
reason
reason and logic were enough -- that you could dispense with
sense itself
and the greatest faculty of all
the great know thyself no matter what
or else rot in hell
know the simple
simple truth that trumps time and again
the cleverest thoughts and ideas
policies, laws or theories of clever, soul
dis jointed men

I triumph at your expense and yet
something in my heart cannot quite soar
for though you have given me all I craved
and more, far, far more
yet mankind crawls belly down
desperately clinging to life
while I feel, shame for me to admit it,
bored
my enemies have let me down
this victory comes too cheap
I scarce can celebrate

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Angry ever after


Just leave me alone, ok, I don’t wanna fight.

Ok. Bye.

Bye. You’re just going to leave like that?

Like what?

Without making things right.

Making things right? What’s there to make right?

Like you don’t know!

Bye.

Hey, you can’t just walk out.

.

What a jerk.

.

He just walked out.

.

He never bothered to apologise.

.

He never explained himself.

.

He never asked me what I was feeling.

.

What I actually wanted.

.

What I needed.

.

He never bothered to – it makes me mad – how could he treat me like that? How? What did I do to deserve it?

.

And now he’s just gone.

.

Leaving a gap in my dialogue.

.

An awkward space I really don’t know how to fill.

.

I hate him.

.

Yes, that works.

.

I hate him so much. Yes – that kind of feels better.

.

He’s a complete egoist. Never thinks of anyone but himself.

.

And I despise people like him – people who only look out for themselves, never give a damn about…

.

I hate myself. I’m so petty. I’m so spiteful.

.

But why won’t he answer. He knows I’m thinking about him. He can hear me, all my thoughts are loud as planes rattling overhead.

.

Oh, he thinks he’s above the likes of me.

.

Selfish bastard. I wish I’d never set eyes on him.

.

God. What a mess.

.

What am I gonna do?

.

I’ll call him.

.

No. I can’t. I’d die.

.

I’ve gotta deal with this. I’ve gotta be focussed. Strong.

.

I’m going to scream.

.

I could try to kill myself.

.

It’s a thought, you know.

.

Anything’s easier than this – coping with the turmoil he’s left me with.

.

He’s probably oblivious to what he’s done.

.

Or else he’s gloating.

.

Triumphing.

.

Oh my God – he’s coming back.

.

I’m not going to say anything.

.

Pretend to be preoccupied.

Er… Margo

What?! Er… yes?

This is yours – I took it by mistake.

Oh, thanks.

.

That’s it?

.

Gone.

.

A second time.

.

What an insensitive…

.

Bastard

.

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now try to decipher the dots – see if you can sense what the dots mask – the other half