I’m breathing.
Er. Yes. I can see.
…
[Zie joins in, half-heartedly, for a minute or two] And what?
No thing
Nothing?
What so ever
What you mean to say
is you’re spacing out, letting it all go, embracing all that is.
Yes – you’re absolutely
right.
I am?
Absolutely.
There’s a first time
for everything. Wow. I feel kind of…
Pleasantly surprised, I
imagine.
That’s it. Pleasantly
surprised.
Or was.
Was what?
Breathing.
You were?
Till you came in.
Er…
And put a stop to all
that.
I…
Don’t worry – it was
definitely meant to be.
It was? Are you sure?
It always is.
Really.
Absolutely.
You mean to say…
Yes, I do.
But I haven’t said it
yet.
No, but you will.
But how can you
possibly know what I’m going to say before I’ve even said it?
I can’t, can I? That
would be impossible, or supernatural.
So, you’ve just totally
contradicted yourself.
Yes.
And that’s ok?
I’m not proud of the
fact.
Then why do it?
Breathing.
Huh?
It’s breathing.
What is? Contradicting
yourself?
The breathing takes
you out of the "me" into "not exactly me" – the all that is – I think you called it.
Yes, I did.
And the all that is
doesn’t really bother too much about politics or taking sides, does it? It's universal.
Er… can’t say I’m
overfamiliar with this particular phenomenon – but, kind of makes sense – it being
“all that is” – but wouldn’t that imply you’re speaking for God?
Could do.
Sounds kind of presumptuous, if you don’t mind me saying.
Could do.
Sounds kind of presumptuous, if you don’t mind me saying.
By all means, say away. You're welcome to put me in my place. I wouldn’t want to be above
criticism, would I – not if I’m truly breathing all that er... is
So heresy aside, this is like getting
outside yourself and losing your sense of self-identity?
Could be. Can’t really
say, can i?
Why not?
Without focussing on
myself: kind of shorts the circuit, gets you back into me-ness, doesn’t
it?
I… well I suppose so,
logically, it would.
So, let’s suppose it
wasn’t exactly my identity speaking – let’s suppose it was "breathing all
that is" – which isn’t really anything in particular, is it?
I can’t say I'm familiar – I’ve
not done a lot of the breathing myself.
Oh you have.
Really? i have?
Without being fully
aware.
Oh – well that doesn’t
really count, does it?
Really, that depends what it
is you’re counting. So, let’s assume that there are concurrently two sides to
everything you’re thinking – the side you know and identify with, the side you purposefully
don’t.
Two sides. Ok...
It means there’s a
whole lot more going on than you or I realise – and whether you choose to
access that “whole lot more” is entirely up to you.
So, it’s just kind of
waiting in storage?
Absolutely.
Waiting?
For you to breathe it, reconnect.
Well I don't see what the point is, really.
No?
I mean, breathing sounds great on paper, a bit of meditation to rebalance and de-stress.
A dark field of uncertainty.
Huh?
Which we really don't wish to experience – the great "not that"; everything we've secretly been avoiding, filing away for the rainy day we're determined not to experience.
Er...
Terrified of.
Merry, don't you think you're over-dramatising this? I mean, we mostly seem to be getting along well enough without your ominous sounding "dark field of uncertainty".
In lock down? With wars, disease, misery and even suicide rampaging throughout the human psycho-sphere?
Well, this is Earth after all. It's not meant to be perfect. It's a work in progress, warts and all.
It's a mathematical given.
Huh?
The natural product of light breath.
Light, as in?
Light as in light, breath as in breath. Either you breathe or you skip along, pretending you can get by without all that is, without not-that, the seemingly dark matter which terrifies the light version of me.
Well I think you're mistaken, Merry. Most people simply haven't the faintest idea how to do this breathing malarkey. We were never taught.
True, and utterly false.
Er...
True, you weren't taught.
So we're hardly to blame.
But then again, this is second nature, like a fish learning to swim, a bird taking to the air...
Well if that's so, then how come more people don't do it?
They do, without being aware, because you can't avoid the breath as long as you're alive.
I mean the full monty?
Choice.
Choice?
You're explorers.
Explorers?
You're scientists.
Scientists?
Absolutely, exploring, investigating the dark side of things.
I thought you said we're doing the light breath, avoiding the darkness.
Confusing, isn't it – you are, and thus you're exploring the dark side of things – investigating what happens when you disconnect from all that is, what happens when you use fear to catapult you ever further, ever deeper into unreality.
Er...
By negating your very basis, your essence, by not-thatting, until the path ends, the breath expires.
God. I can't believe how you twist everything round, turning day into night.
So, nothing could be simpler – to breathe wholly, naturally all-that-is is the default that restores equilibrium in an instant.
It does?
As soon as you stop disseminating disequilibrium, as soon as your decide your experiment is complete, you have all the data you need, that you've achieved your goal.
Our goal?
You've laid a psycho-experiential trail, or grid, you might say, across unreality – through Hades.
Really?
Absolutely.
Why?
Because you can – you wanted to take life or the life experience into unlife, like a mountaineer climbing into the oxygen-depleted death zone where his body starts rapidly deteriorating, in order to reach the summit and experience the edge, the penumbral shade of reality, of life itself.
And we've done it? We've reached the summit?
Affirmative, but only if you make it back alive, only if you remember to reconnect, to countermand the unbreath directive you ordered yourselves to follow.
But how? It's all we know.
No, it's all you remember, but you know all there is to know in the dark matter of breath.
?
In whatever you're afraid to face, afraid to encounter, afraid to experience.
?
You fear what you secretly know, and in your fear is the release that flicks the switch, that brings your awareness back.
?
Death, is what you fear, and death is the end of the reality you have completed.
So we have to die?
Absolutely, if you want to live.
To reconnect?
With all that is.
We have to put our trust in the unbearable lightness of breath?
Indeed.
It feels so impalpable.
Absolutely, but there are wings waiting to unfold.
But breath is so...
Yes, but it's your element – your all that is. Nothing less will do.
And we
all have this access point to all-that-is – somewhere in the indecipherable matter
of breath?
Yes. The dark matter of breath undarkens if we're willing to breathe "not that" – whatever we purposefully excluded, whatever undermines me, my flimsy certainties, my illusory impregnability.
Sounds like the imperial death star approach to breathing.
It's the "calling my bluff" approach, to test the ultimate hypothesis.
Which is?
You... the me.
?
The existential viability of your undivided me.
Meaning?
Whether or not you cancel out on recombination.
Er... And what if the hypothesis fails?
Then back to zero point you are. Finnagin beginnagin. But if it's undefendable why hang around pretending you're for real? Why the charade?
What?
Wasting the rest of your life defending s myth or a lie.
Er... Perhaps because I don't want to die.
Lame. You're dead until-unless you put your self into play, until you prove that the two sides match up critically, and that you're a viable version of reality.
Gulp.
It's the way. Thus it is – i am. "Not that" is your enemy no more than your friend.
You could have fooled me.
Not really.
Ok, ok, it's a figure of speech.
Oh right.
And this recombination you're talking about...
Yes?
Everything’s on file, nothing's ever lost or truly forgotten?
Absolutely not. It's like the blockchain: the entire universe ensures that your numbers add up, that you remain the sum of your past. All you succeed in doing, if truth be told, is Mandelbrotting deeper into your fractalisation. Why?
Including what I was about to say a few minutes ago?
As long as you’re in the breath that brings both yea and nay together, yes.
It's the "calling my bluff" approach, to test the ultimate hypothesis.
Which is?
You... the me.
?
The existential viability of your undivided me.
Meaning?
Whether or not you cancel out on recombination.
Er... And what if the hypothesis fails?
Then back to zero point you are. Finnagin beginnagin. But if it's undefendable why hang around pretending you're for real? Why the charade?
What?
Wasting the rest of your life defending s myth or a lie.
Er... Perhaps because I don't want to die.
Lame. You're dead until-unless you put your self into play, until you prove that the two sides match up critically, and that you're a viable version of reality.
Gulp.
It's the way. Thus it is – i am. "Not that" is your enemy no more than your friend.
You could have fooled me.
Not really.
Ok, ok, it's a figure of speech.
Oh right.
And this recombination you're talking about...
Yes?
Everything’s on file, nothing's ever lost or truly forgotten?
Absolutely not. It's like the blockchain: the entire universe ensures that your numbers add up, that you remain the sum of your past. All you succeed in doing, if truth be told, is Mandelbrotting deeper into your fractalisation. Why?
Including what I was about to say a few minutes ago?
As long as you’re in the breath that brings both yea and nay together, yes.
And what? In that
state you can transcend all physical limitations?
What is there to
transcend?
So what was I going to
say then? You seemed to imagine you already knew. You had the gall to say as much.
... that nothing happens
by chance. That everything is completely, utterly predictable. Yes, from the
breath-is-me, that is true.
The breath is me? I
thought it’s not me – that the breath in fact liberates us from me-ness.
Yes. That’s one side
of it.
But the other side… the opposite?
Absolutely.
So you’re not actually
saying anything – hedging your bets – covering both sides of the argument.
What argument?
Fair enough. But,
supposing you’re right – supposing that was what I was about to say…
Supposing.
Wouldn’t it be
terribly dull? Knowing that everything is already planned – nothing is left to
chance
Or free will?
Exactly.
Yes, it would be.
There you go then. Why
would anyone want to enter such a state of all knowingness?
Why would anyone want
to be God – you might say.
Yes. Why? What would
be the point of being alive if we know everything anyone’s going to say?
Good question.
Well?
Well what?
Well what would be the
point? It sounds like you’re beautiful breathing meditation is a kind of
dystopian nightmare – a knowing everything and no longer having the benefit of
being able to exercise choice or experience the unexpected.
Yes.
So it’s not the kind
of thing anyone in their right mind would wish to access, is it?
Correct.
Am I missing something?
Yes.
What?
Half.
Huh?
Well, no one in their “right
mind” would want to experience this all knowingness – would they?
We’ve already
established that fact, haven’t we?
But then again, do you
believe that your “right mind” is actually you – completely?
It’s a figure of speech.
The right mind we’re talking about here is the sensible, logical, reasonable,
rational mind.
Yes, that much is evident.
The right mind is the right mind, and definitely, categorically not the left
mind.
But who would want to
go into the left mind if it’s the opposite of “sensible, logical, reasonable
and rational” – it sounds like hell.
Correct.
You haven’t answered
my question.
I thought you answered
it yourself rather well.
I did?
You said, “It sounds
like hell.”
Well, yes. And what?
Well, it sounds like
hell from the perspective of the right mind, as well it should. How on earth
could the right mind possibly like the sound of its antipode?
But look at the words –
we’re not just talking about an alternative, are we – we’re talking about
something illogical, irrational, unreasonable and senseless. Doesn’t that speak
for itself?
Yes – it does.
So how could you defend
a left mind? How could you suggest we should want to embrace it – if it actually
exists?
If?
I rather suspect it’s
just the absence of mind – a mindlessness. An unthinking, unknowing state.
Right.
There – you see. You
agree.
Right, as in right
mind.
Huh?
Confirmation bias.
Oh come on. You can’t
really mean to say you’re willing to stand up and defend the left mind – if it’s
everything that a healthy mind is not?
Defend – no. The left
mind needs no defence. It is no criminal.
You make it sound like
one.
The right mind and the
words it attaches great importance to – create the impression, the certainty
that the other side is no side at all, to be shunned and spurned no matter what
– and that’s not necessarily incorrect.
Huh?
Am I contradicting
myself?
Yes, I think you are.
Excellent. Then we’re
probably close to the heart of the matter.
[sighing]
For the truth is never,
in fact, antagonistic or oppositional – that’s just how it looks when we’re in
a one-sided state of perception, and thus an incomplete-awareness.
Then what?
The breath – our very
own infinity drive.
Er…
Because if and when we
go total – then the other side of mind – whatever that may seem to be from a right-minded
perspective, comes into perspective at the very same moment that the right side
readjusts back into its rightful boundary slot – so the two integrate naturally,
fully, imperceptibly.
It just happens?
Yes.
And what?
This.
What do you mean?
This brief dialogue is
the fruit of that state.
It is?
Yes, for this dialogue
rests upon the un-mind-fullness of infinity – the all that is.
Er… And what?
What?
What’s the benefit of
this dialogue.
None whatsoever.
So there’s nothing to
show for your twin-mindedness.
Absolutely. Apart from…
What?
You.
Me? What do you mean?
You only exist as a product
of my all-full-ness.
I… no – there’s gotta
be some kind of mistake.
Yes?
I exist in my own
right.
Absolutely.
In my own right.
Absolutely. Twice. In
your own right – but bear in mind that your own right is only half of your undivided
truth – the same way my own left is only half of my truth.
You mean to say – that
you’re actually from the other side – the devil’s very kitchen – the pit, the
abyss of illogicality, unreasonableness, senseless irrationality.
One hundred percent.
But…
Yes?
You don’t seem all
that bad. I mean – you contradict yourself a lot – which is annoying – very annoying
in fact, but all in all – you’re not such a bad guy.
Pleased to hear it.
I’m not trying to be
funny.
Not at all. You couldn’t
even if you tried. You’re on the wrong side for real humour.
Hey, wait a minute –
no need to insult me – I was trying to be nice.
Were you? Having
stated that I’m as good as the devil – if I come from the evil side of the
divide?
I didn’t know at the
time – and for God’s sake – don’t take it so personally.
Ok. Good advice.
Nothing personal. Do you wish to know the whole truth?
Er… I’m not sure.
You don’t.
I didn’t say that.
You do or you don’t?
Stop pressurising me.
It’s difficult to say.
Oh – you’re making calculations
even as we speak – “can I handle the truth without it changing me – because I
wouldn’t want to lose my unique racial purity – the separateness that makes me
not like him.”
Hey – stop putting
evil words into my mouth.
Into your mind. But
are they true.
No.
Do you ever lie?
No… Not if I can help
it.
Will you defend the
truth no matter what?
No… I…
Yes?
I….
What?
I… don’t know.
Do you not?
No.
Because you can’t
admit the truth, can you?
I
That I may be evil – but
I will always admit the truth – no matter what – that there’s more than me – more
than my perspective. That I’m just half – until, unless I allow breath to
complete me – to bring you back into full-bodied, fully-present dialogue with
me. To undissolve my precious me-ness and allow the world, the quantum field
to shift, accordingly – no matter what – whither it must, whither it will.
Period.
Oh…
Look into my eyes.
No. I can’t.
Look at me, God
dammit.
No, I…
What?
I’m afraid.
Of course you’re
bloody afraid. Whatever’s wrong with that. Fear is the mind-killer. Be afraid.
Let your fear lift you into the heightened state of mind-beyond-mind, me-beyond-me, matter-beyond-matter.
Oh God.
God? Give God a break.
If he exists at all he’d love to see you embrace the truth, for a change – the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth, as opposed to the truth half seen, half
heard, half told.
Shit.
So now we’ve hit the
bottom line. The line of defecation.
Quit making fun of me.
It’s not easy being responsible for everything I swore to uphold and defend.
Your racial purity. Your
beautiful order and form.
Because without us
there’d have been chaos, anarchy. We held the line. We defended the fort, no
matter what the cost.
By denying us – by leaving
us out in the cold. By rejecting your brotherhood, your kinship – by choosing
instead to make yourself kings of matter and right-mindedness. Yes, you did, at
great cost indeed, defend your fort – your thought if truth be told – but now,
as they say, the chickens have come home to roost. Now, the unhalving, the
rebalancing, the totalitising is here…
Where? Wh…
Here, can you not feel
it?
I… no…
In the breath…
No, I…
In the field – the all
that is
I…
Infinity – driving a
wedge through the separateness you thought would hold strong, for ever more.
Aaaaaaagh
No more – united we
breathe – united we be… and complete
Cut!
Huh?
Huh?
Well played guys. Zie –
you could have been a bit more dramatic on the finally scream.
Wait a minute – this was
all just a show?
Duh! Like it’s ever
been otherwise! Wake up Zie, snap out of it.
Er… you right – I remember.
Damn that was realistic. Impressive virtual reality technology you’ve got here.
It should be – you helped
design it dopey.
Oh yeah – so I did.
Well whadya know!
Cut!
Again? I thought we’ve
already woken up.
You did? That’s
normal. You’ve gotta wake up on both sides or reality. Now it’s green – green for
gnomiki.
Oh God, no, anything
but green.
You gonna start screaming
again?
I might have to.
Then I’ll put you on
mute.
[Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!]
There – that’s wasn’t
so bad.
Ok – is everyone back
in sync?
Yeah – I guess so. Is
that it?
Absolutely.
You bet.
Er…
What?
There’s um…
What?
I don’t wanna be a harbinger
of doom.
Oh come on man – you don’t actually mean there’s another one?
You’ve gotta be
kiddin?
Well, you know –
No, we don’t “know”.
Well there had to be
an other – didn’t there.
Why?
This is ridiculous!
Like it’s never gonna
end.
Breathe guys. The third
awaits.
The third? I’ve got
that Darth Vader imperial march feeling stealing up on me, grabbing my throat.
Me two.
Me three.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGH!
Easy does
it guys. Be still. One it is –
I am
I am
That’s
right – now here’s the final merge –
|
The end –
and you thought third was just an NPC… think again!
