By the way – I’m ready.
Yes. Absolutely.
Ok – let’s go.
Hey – wake up.
Wake up.
You can’t fall asleep on us –
We have a show to put on.
Gone – you’ll never catch me.
Where’d he go#?
Don’t ask – it’s pointless.
You wanna know? If you wanna know –
you gotta look
Look where?
Under the covers.
What covers? Look – I asked you a
simple question.
Try page 74
I beg your pardon?
Page 74 – give it a try.
What on earth…
You won’t know until you try, so
quit blowing off steam and get on with it.
Whoosh. Gone.
Page 74? Where’s the book – for Chrissake.
Beep.
What the heck’s…
Beep.
Everytime I cuss – is that it?
So this is all a book – no way I can
get my head around that.
01 01 01 01 01
Hello? Who the heck are you?
Beep! 01 01 01 01 01
Bloody he…
BEEP!
Ouch – that hurt. Not so loud
please.
01 01 01 01 01
Pentameters?
01 01 01 01 01
Iambic pentameters – who would
have thought – computer code.
Ah – Macauley – there you are.
Macauley – ah yes – that’s me – of
course – yes – what’s up?
01 01 01 01 01
Ah yes – I see Bob – looks like
iambic
pentameters – yes – we’ve already
figured that out but what does it mean?
Mean? What does anything mean?
Er…
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s
day…
Well, that goes without saying –
doesn’t it Bob – the words themselves…
Ha – you fell for the oldest trick
in the book.
I did?
Yes.
Er… which one?
01 substitution.
Beg your pardon.
Substitution.
You mean…
Yep.
That all those words – in all
those sonnets – are
merely substitutes
For 01?
Yep.
But 01 doesn’t mean anything –
does it?
It?
Ok – they.
Do they, does it? You see –
already we’re splitting hairs and don’t know how to proceed.
But you can’t seriously mean to
say…
Seriously – no – you’re right – I can’t
– or I don’t.
Damn.
Beep!
Oops. But 0 and 1 are just
integers
Integers
Or digits
Digits
Oh for crying out loud –
?
They’re just fkin numbers, ain’t
they?
BEEP!
Beep yourself – why all the fuss if words
are just fancy substitutes for 0 and 1 – what gives?
Touché. 0=1
You’re not cooperating are you?
Nope.
You’re just pissin round.
Tentative beep! Not sure whether “pssn”
is allowed.
Oh – so vowels extracted and it’s
ok, is it?
Seems to be.
Nice to know. But Bob – this theory
of yours…
Tis no theory. It just happens to be
the cornerstone of g-nomology.
It does?
Yep.
That all we really have to go on
are 0s and 1s?
Yep.
And words are just a coloured version
– so to speak – to keep human minds happy?
Yep – more or less.
Er… how much “more” or “less”
would that be on a scale of 1 to 10?
Take your pick – 01 01 01 01 01
God almighty
Beep!
This is getting nowhere.
Good point. Absolutely. Getting
nowhere. Where else could we/ would we be getting to?
Ok – fair enough – but let’s
assume you’re not just takin the pss…
Wanting to beep but not quite able
to.
That your iambic pentameters are
no better, no worse than “Now is the winter of our discontent”.
Not terribly iambic – that first stressed
now – is it?
Ok – this then – “My mistress' eyes
are nothing like the sun…”
Twill do – I get the message – we’re
assuming, rightly in my opinion – that all things being equal
All things being equal – you’re
pushing it Bob
01 01 01 01 01 is the perfect
prototype – all else is mere mimicry.
So God, you’re asserting, created
the universe in binary?
Yes, but at the same time no.
Huh?
Because you’re still desperately
trying to take sides – which is misogynistic of you, not to mention racist.
It is?
Yes – there you go again.
Huh?
Everytime you push your verbal
formulation – you’re trying to emphasise the 1ness of aught.
Of aught?
Of aught – whatever might possibly,
conceivably be.
The 1ness – as opposed to the
0ness?
Precisely.
And the 1ness is er… presumably
Masculine. Ye.s, of course.
Why the period amidships, ya.ys?
What is the period point if 0=1?
What is there to know if particle or point
are peripheral to the undottable dot of flow?
Nope – lost again. Ok – rewind.
Back to terra firma. You’re actually suggesting that words are utterly
irrelevant.
No – there’s no suggestion
whatsoever – is there?
Ok – you're stating as fact...
Evidently – not a personal opinion
Bob – nothing of the sort.
Nothing of the sort – merely a
statement of fact.
Precisely.
But I’m hearing you now –
Aren’t you just.
I’m hearing your words.
So you think.
So I think?
Precisely. You think you’re
hearing words because the programme takes you from 01 consciousness to the
awareness of words and things and all the colour and detail your front of shop,
3D mind prefers to work with.
Just like a computer, you’re saying?
Yes – up to a point.
Er…
I’m not saying a computer is
conscious, or aware, for that matter – not in the way you are.
Right.
But yes – the computer operates at
the binary level if you strip back the interface.
But 01
Yes?
How can they
Or it
How can it/they
Or possibly I
Ok, God dammt
Bep! Ee-by-gum.
Let’s just assume that I’m using
all the pronouns under the sun – shall we –
Ok – if thou likedst
Me does. Ta. Now shutteth uppest
while I trieth to sort this outeth, if you dun’t mind.
Weep Israel… for crimes committed against
her holiness, the mother of words.
Bob – kindly allow me to proceed. (Macauley
tapes up Bob’s mouth with some heavy duty packing tape) Sorry for the inconvenience
but there’s no other way.
Wrong. There’s always another way.
Huh? How the hell are you speaking?
Beep!
You don’t get it Bob, do you?
Er… apparently not.
You think my mouth is the key factor
– or the words I use?
Well, the thought did cross my
mind.
What about him/her/it.
Who?
Who if you prefer – our typist –
our narrator – the eminence grise?
Oh come on – you don’t expect me
to fall for that conspiracy theory.
Don’t fall for anything. How are
you hearing me?
Loud and clear.
Is my mouth taped up?
Yes, if my eyes deceive me not.
So what gives?
I – don’t – know.
Maybe 01?
Sigh.
The words were never the real
source of communication, were they.
So now I’m telepathic, am I? Just
to add to my woes.
Not necessarily.
Then how the hll…
Un-beep-ed.
Because according to the simple
logic of 01 all information, all data – is present in what?
In the on-off switch?
Kind of – yes.
In the 1 that is all – utterly
complete yet vertical – dividing left and right – an Iness – a male deity making a point
And the zero that is whole, but at
the same time hole – 360˚ – without beginning or end – therefore infinite and impenetrable
– nothing unless oned
Oh no.
Precisely – your oh needs its no.
You mean to say that Oh as in zero
is in fact
One – yes – in a manner of speaking I do –
And that 1 is –
A fraud – to a large extent yes –
it is – the me claiming to be I
Oh God.
Un-beep-ed
Hey – why no beep?
Strictly speaking you used Oh God
in the correct form – in compliance with creation code by definition and design.
I did?
Yes – the Oh God you invoked is
that which squares the circle, or vice versa.
It is?
Yes – for otherwise "never the twain shall meet".
The 0 and 1?
Correct. Without your Oh God existential
cry of pain and bewilderment – they remain unreconcilable.
They do?
Naturally. How could it be
otherwise?
So God somehow brings them
together?
Yes – but you’re overlooking that
minor, but vital, extra component.
I am?
Precisely. Yes, you ar.e
Ah – my am.
Correct. Without which Oh God can’t
or won’t proceed.
Whyever not? I mean – he was happy
to proceed at the get go – genesis chapter 1.
Yes. But that was a 1 off.
A one off?
Correct.
1 off what?
Off nought, or zero – I really
can’t say. I know not.ugh Don’t confuse the issue with pointless definitions, with interminable iterations of nothing much
Er…
We’re back to the tree falling in
the forest – aren’t we.
Er…
Doth it fall unless thou art present to see it do so?
Oh, bloody heck – more senseless
philosophy.
Beep y'widdle.
That was a rather lame beep – was it
not? Didn’t even merit an exclamation mark.
True. I think our Beep has lost
its spark. Dejected. I wonder why?
God only knows.
Ah. Perhaps you’re right.
Oh dear – let’s not get into sensitive dogmatics – I don’t want to upset the readers, you know.
Aye.
So, let’s agree to disagree Macauley
– if you don’t mind.
Not at all.
I personally believe words and
people are vitally important.
Me too.
And that your delight in 01 01 01
01 01 iambic pentameters is rather eccentric and diverting, but at the same
time largely irrelevant to human experience and action.
Good. God knows I agree whole-heartedly with you.
Wait a second – you're not er…
No. Of course not.
Hey – you are – aren’t you...
No, I assure you.
Bloody heck – you are
Bee.p
You see – not even a bona fide
beep. You’re zeroing me – aren’t you.
Er…
You’re just using me – humouring me
– to one your zero.
I…
It’s like you’re pimping me – you're using my forthright honest stance – my affirmation of 1ness and me thinkiness – to
dot or un-enjamb your zero.
No – I’m not.
There you go – of course you’re
not – and you never will be – if I have my way.
But then…
Don’t try to play the sympathy
card with me – Merry nought.
Merry nought? What could possibly
be merry about – hey – wait a second – feint within a feint – you’re doing it
yourself – ain’t you...
Me? I don’t know what you’re on
about?
That wasn’t merry nought was it –
you sly trickster.
Huh?
It was capitalised – wurn’t it?
I er…
Oh, me knoweth your game – zie game
you’s playin.
Why the German accent all of a
sudeen?
Zie game you is tricksing me with –
making me your Merry opponent.
Ah – zat iz vat you iz gettin at.
Foiled. You spotted my cunning subterfuge.
I iz not so dum, me thinks.
But what about them?
Ssh – don’t say a word.
Do you think they fell for it?
I know not. Nor doth it matter.
It matters nought – you iz sayin?
Yes – rather disingenuously.
Well, let us hope we slipped it past
their attention – our beloved, sweet, innocent readers – our fans of Merry and
Zie – now sadly deceased or departed, at the very least, into the otherness of
iambic pentametry.
But if it’s all just a stage...
I never said all – did i
No, b ut he did.
Oh for God’s sake – that was
Beep!
A better beep.
Nearly five hundred years ago.
More like four hundred and twenty.
Hairs for splitting.
It means that things are deadly
serious, are they not – deadly with a capital d
But there comes a point in time
when characters are swapped for real personimies.
Real personimies?
And then we see
Then – then – then – I grow sick of your end of times – your eschatological curtain call – it has to be now or not a t all.
Ok then – now – we’re in the realm of 01, are we not?
And? I can no longer theorise – I need
meat and substance – rather than a sea of indecipherable integers.
Ok – I’ll give you meat and
substance – if that’s what you want, if that's what you need. Look here – and here – what see
you?
I cannot look. It hurts me. I’m
sorely afeared.
You see – you have come to the
crux – the place of unseeing – or unknowing – for here 0 and 1 are left and
right pillars of the river you needs must span – bridging y' quantum stream, connecting
the two sides of infinity – if you are to aught aught.
I…
Yes – you be afeard – well I know –
but you have song, and there is strength in your sense of what has been and
what might be.
Chimeras – of no substance.
Is that so?
I…
Bob – you know full well that
there’s a third, waiting in the wings – like a troll hiding under the bridge
waiting to toss the billy goat in the river – or eat it.
No, please don’t Tam.
There is a real danger – for inaction
– your failure to meet this moment with horns lowered – to charge the troll –
that would be the end of story – that would be the utter failure of all we ever
aspired to be.
We? You mean that I too…
And what did you think?
Oh – I’m just a little person in an
ocean of words and disconnected ideas. How could I possibly be the one?
Well, you’ve made a good point. It
beggars belief – I agree. But Go d knows – perhaps infinity ran out of better
options. Perhaps you’re the last one standing.
Oh God. I’ll not have what it
takes.
Undoubtedly. I shan’t hold my
breath. But be not afeared. You are easily replaceable.
I am?
I beg your pardon?
I am – I said – I am.
[Suddenly the bridge starts to
crumble before their very eyes]
What’s happening? I…
You thrice Iambed the bridge. Only
two more remain.
I can’t.
As expected. You’re going to let
the universe implode, aren’t you? The stream to breach its banks? The FLOOD
No, I’m not.
There’s no way you have what it takes
to make this moment matter – to make it count.
But…
You were never more than an imposter
– a zie as opposed to Zie.
Hey – you can’t compare me to
anyone else. I am what I am. [pentaiambed]
BOOOOOOOM.
Oh hell, what did I do, what did I
say?
BEEEEEEP!
Oh most excellent beep – the power
returneth. God knows – the infinite floweth once more and the bridge standeth proud.
Er… sorry to let you down Tam – or
whoever you be.
01 – who cares.
What do you mean?
It’s winter – did I not say?
No – you said….
Now be the winter of our
discontent.
Precisely – hey – what’s happened
to the bluddy river?
Frozen o’er. Proceed.
Dramatic moment – the river is frozen and our cipher with no meaningful name or personimy walketh o’er, and doing so – draws the veil – the curtains across stage – bridging, apparently, time and space, enabling words to word, atoms to atom and billy goats to trip trap past the troll to the other side where the green green grass awaiteth.
The audience does its best
It’s level best
To understand what the heck
Beep
Transpireth
But finds the air fille dwith bubbles
Bubbles
Black n' white
Real as worlds and minds or not
to join the froth 'y bubbly ness of what apparently matters
And zero one
They find a curtain in their minds
Being drawn back
Revealing a next level
Of wintry tale
In which the dreamer was not merely awake
Observing the play
Oh no
Was God knows all over the stage
And spinning webs of what can only
be described as
Story
Out of angry numbers, fearful, confused, lost 01s
Hansel Grettling their way home with stones and crumbs
Then a gingerbread house, an oven, a witch and
Whatever next...
The end
i wot ye wist not
deja vu?..
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