in which Seth discovers the darkweb

I’m not saying anything.

 

Finally. I thought you’d never realise.

 

…

 

The beauty of silence.

 

…

 

The wisdom.

 

…

 

The…

 

Oh shut up!

 

Hey, you…

 

Leave me alone. I’m not saying anything if you’ll just quit bothering me.

 

Ok. Ciao.

 

Finally...                  thoughts don’t count, do they?      I mean – I can hardly stop myself from thinking,      can I?

 

I can hear you.

 

What the heck?

 

Beep!

 

Hey, sod off. You’re not allowed to listen into my thoughts.

 

Sorry bro, can’t help it.

 

Whadda you mean – can’t help it? Of course you can. My thoughts are my own personal, private property.

 

I agree.

 

Then what do you mean by listening in to them. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

 

It’s really not my fault Seth.

 

Seth? Aren’t I Sebastian?

 

Well yes, you are in your regular physical frequency, but here in the dark net you’re Seth, ain’t ya?

 

I am?

 

Apparently so.

 

And this “dark net” malarkey – what exactly is it you’re referring to?

 

It’s probably not what you’re thinking it is.

 

Oh, and how would you know what I’m thinking…? Damn. You bloody well [Beep!] know everything I’m thinking. Effing [Beep!] cheek.

 

Look Seth…

I wish you wouldn’t call me that – it gives me the creeps.

 

Yes – it’s a tricky one to handle, I’ll admit – but it just happens to be where your thoughts are all being posted – in real time.

 

You mean to say my thoughts are being live streamed even as we speak – er – think aloud together?

 

Well evidently. How else do you imagine I’d be able to hear what you’re thinking against your express instructions?

 

You know Tiberius – the thought had crossed my mind – you know – do I need to spell it out?

 

Not for me – no – only if you want them to get it too.

 

Them? You don’t mean to say they’re in on the livestream too?

 

Naturally, but only what you think aloud.

 

And how many exactly are they?

 

How many drops of rain are in an ocean? How many chickens in the chicken colony of free-range sentient chickens on Planet Primo Gallinae?

 

Er… No idea. In short – I don’t see why my thoughts have to be shared with you Tiberius, still less with 24 million chickens on Primo Gallinae. As far as I’m concerned there must be some kind of diabolical agency at work. Either that or I’ve apparently lost my marbles.

 

Yes, it looks bad, doesn’t it Seth…

 

Cut it out Tibs.

 

Sorry Seth – it’s just that I’m communicating with you over the dark net and their protocols apply. You could theoretically invite me to come back to chat with you in person.

 

Never. [Seth raises his hands demonstratively] Avaunt, foul fiend!

 

Thought as much. We could try using the Zeeta account.

 

What’s that?

 

That’s for anyone who has lost their user log-in and password.

 

Ah.

 

The Zeeta account – usually just Zie for short – is a good place for freeloaders and freebooters who want to remain more or less anonymous.

 

“Freeloader or freebooter”? I’m not sure I like the way you choose to categorise me.

 

I understand. In that case we can stick to your personal Seth account.

 

No. Zie is fine.

 

Ok. Could you just temporarily drop your connection with the dark web, please.

 

Er… how?

 

You need to simulate unconsciousness – just for a second or two. And as you reboot automatically I’ll enter a few hash strokes. Should do the trick.

 

Er… simulate unconsciousness – like pretend to be in a swoon?

 

No – this needs to be a real simulation. It needs to disconnect you briefly from the dark web.

 

Er…

 

You can use water, fire, earth, even air.

 

Oh God [Beep!] – this sounds so ridiculous – I hope they pay you well for this farce.

 

Ha ha. At least I didn’t suggest you hit yourself over the head with a hammer as they used to do.

 

So how do I do it with water?

 

You need to take an ice-cold shower.

 

Fat chance of that. With fire?

 

You need to walk across burning coals.

 

Oh God. [Beep!] With Earth?

 

You need to bury youself in the earth at least a metre deep to block your signal.

 

Jeez! [Beep] I don’t suppose I want to know about air, do I?

 

Air’s problematic if you don’t have a parachute.

 

Wait a second – what about the fifth element?

 

Ah – thought you’d never ask. You need to reach the transcendental state of inner quietude – recommended course of action 40 days fasting in a wilderness of your choice.

 

Recommended – you mean there are alternative routes.

 

Like climbing a mountain – you bet – but the well-trodden path is slightly more reliable.

 

I can’t believe I’m actually falling for this garbage…

 

Garbage? What do you mean Seth?

 

Ow! – quit using that name.

 

Sorry.

 

But I’m going to take the cold shower – if that can stop you using that dreadfully not-me-bearable name.

 

Sure. But er Seth…

 

Yaow! Cut that out.

 

Oops. Make sure it’s cold. We need to simulate unconsciousness so a good healthy shock to the system is required.

 

I got you, I got you – now leave me be.

 

Five minutes later – Yaooooooooowwwwwwwwww! Geez! [Beep!] Chris*! [Beep! Beep! Beep!]

 

There – gotcha Zie.

 

Zie? Who’s that?

 

That’s you.

 

Me – but aren’t I Sebastian still?

 

Well obviously – Sebastian or whoever else you claim to be – it really makes no difference. Could you – er – make yourself decent.

 

What?!!! I thought this is a thought channel.

 

It is for anyone tuning in with their correct user log-in and password. But you’ve come in on the Zeeta account which means that the dark web adds visuals to distinguish one Zeeta from another.

 

Wait a second – you didn’t tell me anything about that.

 

No. There didn’t seem any point, did there. You weren’t exactly happy with the Seth identity.

 

Seth – whyever not?

 

Funny isn’t it. It doesn’t bother you now.

 

Bizarre. What was I freaking out about?

 

I guess you were freaking out about the dark web – the Seth account is your direct personal login – so you found that disturbing.

 

But why?

 

Because the darkweb connects you with the dark side of your consciousness.

 

Oh shi – you don’t mean the demonic side – do you?

 

No, I do not – though how could I possibly persuade you otherwise if you were intent on assuming the worst?

 

Good point. So, the dark side of consciousness – it’s like the unconscious me – is it?

 

It’s like the you that is everywhere that the conscious you cannot go or be.

 

Huh?

 

The conscious you is kind of limited.

 

It is? I’m not sure I appreciate these constant marks of denigration.

 

No denigration, nor disrespect. The conscious “me” – whoever it be – is by definition limited to certain aspects or “moments” of the greater mebe.

 

Mebe?

 

The me be.

 

As opposed to the I am?

 

Well yes – obviously – as the I am is your divine aspect – or your connection to divinity if you prefer.

 

Whereas the me be…

 

Is not exactly divine – more like regular Joe – trying to get on with life and making ends meet in multiple settings.

 

Hey – why would I want to explore the mebe if I can just connect right away with the I am?

 

Good question Zie.

 

Seb.

 

Zie – now kindly put your clothes on – our chat is filling up with indignant comments and a few rather cheeky remarks that I’m not going to publish.

 

Damn cheek.

 

The I am is the be all and end all. What would be the point of going back to the be all and end all if you haven’t yet been all and ended all? It would be like taking a million dollars from a travel the world and experience life trust fund – only to return after 60 days – money still unspent – experiences unlogged – nothing to show for the immense capital outlay.

 

You mean the be all and end all would block my return?

 

Not exactly, no. You can try it now if you like?

 

Hey – does that mean like I’m going to die?

 

In a manner of speaking yes – but then again – what is death where the great I am is concerned.

 

Er…

 

Don’t be shy. Experience is probably the best way to figure out what is what – and validate whether or not you’re happy to work with the dark web.

 

It’s just…

 

Zie – enough procrastination – repeat after me – I am that I am – mission accomplished – return me home instantaneously.

 

Almost powerless to stop himself – partly afraid – partly fascinated – Zie repeats the words. For a minute his connection to the dark web drops. Zero. Neither conscious nor unconscious. Merry makes a cuppa tea the good ol’ fashioned way – a blackened kettle suspended over an open fire in a rather attractive log cabin somewhere in the Ural Mountains. Chaga – he decides at the last minute – gotta move with the times. Beep beep beep – a signal indicates that Seb/Seth/Zie is back online. Fortunately the dark web is mind programmable and remembers exactly which login to ascribe to Zie.

 

Ah, there you are Zie.

 

Hi Ti...[Seth pulls a Gershwin, effortlessly switching key from cranky Tiberius to sonorous –] Merry!

 

Long time no see. 

 

Yes, rather. I had a wonderful time back there I-am-ing.

 

Yes, I thought it would be fun.

 

You did?

 

Yes. It generally is.

 

You mean I’m not the only one you’ve volunteered to send back?

 

You could say.

 

Oh, right, I get you.

 

So what happened?

 

Well, you probably know all this, don’t you?

 

Yes, but they don’t.

 

Oh fair enough. Well, first there’s reception – detox and a few formalities – i's and t's...

 

Ah ha.

 

And then it’s like – welcome home bro – you’re doing great. We’re so proud of you – frankly that was rather surprising – I mean – I don’t really think of myself as a great success you know. Then after a brief period of R&R it was back to the grindstone – metaphorically speaking of course.

 

Yes?

 

Oh yes – different classes to attend – various mind and consciousness sessions – managing data and discernment upgrades – all kinds of fascinating courses – nature integration – living biosystems – universal awareness – fascinating – if only it were true [little rumble of thunder overhead] – oops! Well – fascinating stuff. And I was giving classes too.

 

You were?

 

For newbies – guys who are actually choosing to follow in my footsteps. It’s rather strange – I mean – there are billions of people on the planet right now, but for some reason they all seemed to know me – like I was a minor celebrity.

 

I expect you were. Fresh from the front – battle scarred – with lots of tips for the new recruits.

 

Well, I think I was able to help orientate them to the live situation on Earth – the unvarnished nitty gritty. I mean – their text books are a little dated – 1990s in my opinion.

 

So er… Zie

 

Yes?

 

What brought you back?

 

Oh, you know how it is…

 

?

 

I did all the courses, took up fly fishing, then started making matchstick villages…

 

Really? Fascinating.

 

Then tried my hand at planetary design. You know the way I used to complain about the coastline of Norway – how utterly flat and uninspiring it was.

 

Yes... No!  You don’t mean to say…?

 

Well yes – did the timey-wimey thing – and finally I think you’ll find if you log in to google earth or your dark web equivalent – that the coastline is anything but boring – in fact – though I say so myself – I’d venture to boast that it’s rather spectacular.

 

Goodness gracious Zie – I had no idea you were…

 

Of course – I had a little help from my assistant, Slartibartifast who was on a sabbatical from his home planet…

 

Magrathea

 

Oh, you know do you?

 

Yes, he claimed it was his own work.

 

The cheeky sod, did he really? I mean – he helped position some of the larger rocks and… come to think of it – perhaps that was the reason he was so insistent I signed his internship form.

 

Which you didn’t bother to read?

 

Well, I’ve never been a great one for reading forms, have I?

 

Well, don’t worry Zie – the dark web has a wonderful way of putting the record straight.

 

It does?

 

Yes. There are no lies or deception in the dark web.

 

Come on – you can’t really expect me to believe that?!

 

No – don’t believe it. Test and verify – is the motto of dark-webbers.

 

Test and verify – that sounds good. But how does it work?

 

Well – just imagine the amount of data in the conscious section of human awareness –

 

Er… bit tricky.

 

Well, let’s try that another way. How much did you learn and discover about yourself which you weren’t aware of before returning back home to I am that I am?

 

Oh you have no idea.

 

Bet you can’t remember any of it now.

 

Funny – now that you mention it…

 

But you might remember the scale. Are we talking more or less than 1 percent.

 

Pah! Infinitely less than 1 percent. Though I can’t for the life of me remember what.

 

Ok. So there’s a whole lot more to you than meets the eye.

 

I guess so.

 

And the same is true for almost everyone else.

 

Almost?

 

Yes, there are, as always, a few exceptions.

 

Like illumined beings?

 

I guess so – or a few simple humble folk who go through life completely unnoticed, and therefore untroubled.

 

Right.

 

So what happens to all their consciousness?

 

Er…

 

It doesn’t just switch off, do you imagine?

 

How can it. It’s what you are. It can’t be destroyed or anaesthetised by your physical embodiment.

 

Correct. So among other things – it goes into the dark web.

 

Among other things – you mean there’s more?

 

Yes, but not today.

 

So the dark web is actually run by our celestial consciousness that couldn’t quite fit into to the poky little earthly vessel?

 

Well yes, more or less. In any case – the dark web is awash with data – all possible data – and data is only meaningful – is only data per se if it is verifiable with a provenance or chain of custody, if it's cross-referenceable.

 

Is it?

 

Yes, absolutely, otherwise it’s just noise and fluff which invariably gets filtered out.

 

And the dark web is able to filter noise from the system?

 

Absolutely – because data actually loves to link up to itself creatively.

 

Wait a minute… you don’t mean to say that it’s alive?

 

Well, not in the sense that you are – but yes – it is alive.

 

So any data coming in that is verifiably true will automatically connect with corresponding data?

 

Yep, and more, it does so in a way that reveals the underlying data flow, the evolving sequences of which we're all a part.

 

But how does it know?

It?

Data – how does data know?

 

How do you know which are you shoes or socks?

 

It can smell?

 

Not exactly – but the metaphor will do.

 

So data is self-correcting in the dark web?

 

Yep.

 

And what happens to all the false data?

 

It goes into the garbage pile.

 

And then?

 

And then it gets recycled.

 

How?

 

Back through its source.

 

You mean like karma?

 

Yep, more or less.

 

But…

 

What?

 

That doesn’t seem to work.

 

How do you mean?

 

Well, we’ve been hearing about karma for donkey’s years, but it’s never stopped people from lying and manipulating – look at the state the world is in.

 

Yes – but look at the new coast of Norway.

 

Huh?

 

How do you think that was possible?

 

Perhaps because I’m a genius?

 

Without a doubt – but everyone who made your life difficult to unbearable helped fund your account, unbeknownst to you – with karma credits.

 

They did?

 

Yep. And you burnt through a load of them doing something very beautiful.

 

So?

 

So you took their dross and turned it into gold.

 

But did they pay?

 

Do you want them to?

 

Yes, I mean – I don’t know. They were doing their own lifey-life experience thing. I don’t know.

 

The point is – that with the dark web 22 now up and running – there’s a fully operational real-time karma credits exchange.

 

There is?

 

Yep.

 

And how long has this been operational?

 

How long does it take me to make a cup of tea?

 

Oh – it’s a timey time thing is it?

 

Yep.

 

So the game has changed.

 

Has now.

 

Which means the bad bunch are going to get their comeuppance?

 

Which means the free lunch brigade are going to have to pay back everything they’ve stolen if enough people get wind of the dark web connection.

 

Ah – but they’re not, are they?

 

No?

 

How could they? It nearly killed me logging on as Seth.

 

Because you were due a trip back home perhaps. Maybe you had a karmic credit debt to Norway.

 

To Norway? The country?

 

Well, to the being or entity that stands behind Norway.

 

You mean Slartibartifast?

 

Yes, but I think you’ll find that’s not his real name.

 

No?

 

I think that’s what you used to call him, rather unkindly, in the playground when you were a weaner.

 

Don’t remember ever…

 

Wanna scan your dark web files?

 

No, not really... Oh go on then.

 

Beep beep beep beep beep beep…

 

Unbelievable. You’re right. Slartibartfast. How could I have forgotten?

 

Well, technically you didn’t forget.

 

No?

 

No, you only remember your present lifetime.

 

You mean this was reincarnation?

 

Not necessarily. Just another fork in the delta – if you like.

 

But how can I be responsible for another fork?

 

Where we go one, we go all.

 

QAnon? No way!

 

No, this predates your latest iteration of collective responsibility.

 

But if I’m trying to lead a good life and another part of my total consciousness is doing the opposite – am I going to get saddled with all their dross?

 

Absolutely not.

 

Then what?

 

You want me to explain it – it’s not going to work here in regular linguistics – is it. We'd need schematics and frequency charts, flow dynamics, torsion fields and wacky woo.

 

But for them?

 

Ok. For them – a gross simplification – paradox will do.

 

Paradox?

 

Yes.

 

Like…

 

Paradox. It appears to make no sense – or making sense to be entirely contradictory – does it not?

 

Yes.

 

You are what you are – and yet – you’re part of a collective – be that humanity, religion, nation, kith or kin…

 

Ok.

 

In actual fact the karmic credits exchange is not punitive.

 

No?

 

It’s a way of spreading the wealth.

 

It is?

 

Of ensuring everyone gets a piece of the cake, a bite of the apple.

 

Really?

 

Yep. Those who have more than they need are almost bound to start making karmically extravagant choices – which instantly credit the have nots directly.

 

Oh wow. But what if they decide to do nothing – to avoid squandering their wealth?

 

That in itself becomes a karmic choice.

 

OMG [Beep!] – this is beginning to sound like Communism.

 

Well yes, except that it isn’t political, not even religious.

 

No? You could have fooled me.

 

It’s just the way data prefers to arrange itself. It likes to go with the grain, not against it. It’s like the block chain – it has a perfect record of who and what – and would much rather stay configured that way – without any desire to punish or reward.

 

Simply data self-organising? Incredible.

 

So, you still didn’t say why you chose to come back?

 

I met a newbie.

 

No way!

 

Yeah. She was supposed to be born this year.

 

Huh?

 

But we put in a timey-wimey request.

 

You’re kidding.

 

No. And to our amazement it was accepted. She was shunted back twenty years into the "past".

 

Unbelievable. Well there you go, there’s a first time for everything. So do you know where she is?

 

No, but she knows of the blog – and she can track me down if she remembers what we agreed.

 

If… it doesn’t always work that way Zie.

 

I know Merry – but I have a good feeling about this.

 

You do?

 

Yes.

 

And do you remember her name?

 

No can say [clunk!] – if I’ve learnt one thing it’s the need to master occlumency…

 

Like in Harry Potter – the ability to close your mind. But why?

 

Because this has to be in accordance with the plan or not at all. If it’s meant to be it will be, if not we’ll meet up again at the next Earth-graduation ball... not so far downstream from where we are now.

 

Fair enough. Now, do you want to reactivate your Seth account?

 

Sure, otherwise I won’t be able to post while taking a bath.

Damn cheek.

[Beep!] It's time for the Seth account to kick butt – there's a whole world of karma itching to share the wealth once I can bridge the gap and bring your dark web karmic exchange to the people.

Huh?

Zie enters the silent zone for a second or two, emerging from timelessness with the eyes that know: There's gonna be an app. 

An app?

It'll be a doozy. Karmic credits will upload in real time – outside time in fact – even without a signal, as they'll be coming into each person's device directly from darkweb, through their own conscious-ness carrier wave. 

Nice!

There'll be a "follow-the-data" option which will allow the karmic metadata to suggest compatible and harmonious products or investments to further optimise the velocity of karmic credits (karnickles) in circulation. 

Darn! 

That should see the end of the dollar and other fiat currencies within a year... six months in fact.

Yikes! But isn't that going to crash the global economy?

Why should it? On the contrary! unaccountable, crony-capitalism's dinosaur-dollars have been eroding the wealth for decades now. Quite the opposite in fact –there's going to be an explosion of pent up wealthification.

You think so?

Absolutely, this will bring about non-inflationary wealth creation on an unthinkable scale, being karmically efficient – eliminating the temporal waste of those vast reservoirs of trapped, stagnant karmic chokepoints, locked away in festering vaulted gold or ill-gotten off-shore accounts, concealed by NDAs, legal chicanery and false narratives. All this is immediately brought into play without even needing to prosecute individuals, sequester their bank accounts or go near the electronic digits supposedly concealed therein. They were only ever as good as the karmic encryption protecting them – and as you and I both know... kerching – the bust is in! We have the keys – the "emperor" you've all been blindly following is buck naked. 😊

Merry is, perhaps for the first time in recorded history, almost lost for words...

Holy macaroon – I'm flabb...

Silence... be golden... let the dance of the karnickles 💰 begin!

The end 

0=1 not-withstanding