data redundancy

I'm running scared you know, running scared
My world has fallen into a state i no longer care to uphold

I let it fall and observe the images on screen
break up
the data stream goes dead
i blue scream
a sudden sharp pain in my chest
this is the end
no regrets
i was living a lie
no regrets
apparently, an impatient eagerness
to die
but an error code intervenes
apparently, death must be postponed
data files unreconciled
who cares - I think aloud
astonished by the ineptitude of a God or universe
unable, apparently, to terminate a line or two
of redundant code
to simply delete
or overwrite my meagre addition to the sum total
of all things
alas, no
apparently, there's a twist in this deeply ironic
tale of woe
the code upon which i based my very existence
is now infused with a kind of virus
this beggars belief, I know
that code could absorb the energies of an unrequited soul
a soul which simply yearned to live
to experience whatever life
could possibly yield, could possibly generate
yet utterly failed
and thus starts sucking on the very binary code
infecting it with brokenheartedness
pushing back up the dendrites and tendrils

of basic intelligence
into the barely conscious mind of matter
from which all logic
all differential structure originates
inducing a whisper, a phantom ache
in the interstellar dust fields and
plasma flows of almost-consciousness

access denied - I must return to that so called world
and complete a life or... bump around between nodes
trying to reconfigure the circuitry of self-simulating
code
until the mother board corrodes
from the electric wind of a barely (2) atomic
birkeland stream
or...

let "or" be my last refuge
my unspoken "what if"
in a universe predicated on what cannot
definitively be known
without upsetting the apple cart
heisenberg so laboriously
stacked with uncertainty
surely there is a place
beyond what mind can possibly think
still less comprehend
where electrons, muons or God forbid
boson higgs proliferate
and shades of almost light
or sublimating soul
pre-consciate

oh

if the unknowable unknown
were to find a way
to interface our data stream
if every thing were to flip
a dime ahead of time
how would i know
how would i know
unless (3)
a washing line of failed connectivity
reveals more than logic or reason
might disclose