In which Merry shreds a wad of hundred dollar bills

It’s just if you’ve got nothing better to do I could do with a hand.

Sure thing. What needs doing?

I need a witness.

A what?

Witness. I need a witness. Can you witness what I’m doing please.

Er... yeah, why not.

Merry takes an inch thick wad of hundred dollar bills out of his pocket and feeds them one by one into a paper shredder.

Four minutes later the last one’s gone through.

Thanks Zie. I appreciate the help.

Zie’s kind of struggling to comprehend what he’s just witnessed.

You... er... you just shredded a pile of hundred dollar bills?!

Yeah. 120 if I got the correct number.

120 one hundred dollar bills?!

Yeah.

12 thousand dollars.

Apparently so.

Apparently?

Well, as you’re my witness, unless both of us are delusional then yes, I did. Anything else?

Er...

Zie appears to be having problems processing what he’s just witnessed.

Er...

Flickers of cognition light up his face momentarily, then die away, like a fire that can’t make up its mind whether to burn or not.

If it’s not a dumb question Merry, could I ask you why?

I don’t know. It’s entirely up to you.

I mean, why did you just shred 12 000 dollars for no apparent reason?

That’s a good question Zie. I’ll answer it just as soon as you tell me why it bothers you.

Why it bothers me? You just shredded 12 thousand dollars and you want to know why it bothers me?

Not particularly, but that would give me reasonable grounds for answering your prior question.

Well isn’t it obvious?

I don’t know Zie. That’s for you to say.

Well, 12 thousand dollars is a lot of money.

Is it?

Er... a helluva lot of money. I can’t believe you just did that Merry. You must be off your rocker.

Ah – now we’re getting somewhere.

I mean – just think of all the good you could’ve done with that money.

Good?

Giving it to charity, helping people in need, buying me a new second hand car. Jesus Christ Merry – you just shredded 12 thousand dollars. Why?

You haven’t actually answered the question. You asked me to imagine what I could have done with the money – but I don’t see how that explains why you’re so bothered.

But it’s obvious, isn’t it?

So you tell me.

No one shreds money.

Disproven, I think you’ll agree.

Well, only a lunatic then.

Unless I happen to be of sound mind.

But... what a waste. What a terrible bloody waste Merry. I...

You could’ve helped me spend it, couldn’t you?

No... yes, of course I could, but that’s hardly the point.

Then what is?

Where did you get it from?

What?

The money, Merry.

Oh that. Where does anybody get it from?

Er?

The bank, of course.

I didn’t know you had twelve thousand to burn.

To shred.

Ha ha, very amusing.

I didn’t... until this morning.

So this morning you just happened to get your hands on twelve thousand dollars.

Yep.

And decided to shred it.

Yes. It seemed the wisest thing to do.

The...?

Zie’s still struggling to comprehend. Muscles that shouldn’t be living autonomously are twitching in his face – around the eyes, above the mouth, in the cheeks.

How do you do that Zie?

What?

Twitch your muscles like that?

I... I’m not doing anything Merry. I think I need to lie down.

By all means. Stretch yourself out. Is there anything I can get you?

A glass of water would be nice.

But why did you need me to observe?

Not just to observe – to witness it.

Yeah whatever... just tell me why?

To ensure the magic works – certain procedures need to be adhered to. One of which is to have a witness.

Ok... And the magic – what exactly were you hoping to achieve, if it’s not too much to ask?

No, not at all, let me just get your glass of water.

A minute later Merry returns with a glass in his hand. - Here you are Zie.

Thanks.

Zie gulps back the glass and lies on his back trying to...

But you never said where the money came from.

Yes I did.

Well – you said the bank – but how could the money just appear like that in your bank account?

Anything’s possible, Zie.

Of course anything’s possible, but things like that don’t generally happen, do they. And that doesn’t explain why you needed to shred it all.

Ah – well there you’re definitely jumping to conclusions. I never said I “needed to”.

Well why else would you have done it?

That’s the million dollar question Zie. The fact is that I have my reasons, but it’s only fair to point out that "necessity" was not one of them. Think of it more in terms of art – creative destruction you might call it.

So first you were saying it was some kind of magic, now it’s an art installation. You’re not giving much away Merry. Is it really such a big secret?

No Zie. No secret at all. I just have to observe the protocols.

What bloody protocols?

The protocols of indeterminacy - where the infinity drive is concerned... Schrödinger's cat and all that.

You don’t mean to say your blasted infinity drive’s behind all this?

No, I don’t. The infinity drive's just a tool enabling quantum level creativity. But I'm the artist... 

I’m sick of hearing about it Merry. Infinity drive, infinity drive – and what have we got to show for it?

A box full of shredded 100 dollar bills.

What use is that?

None whatsoever. The very essence of the infinity drive... 

A useless machine that causes you to perform random acts of insanity.

A mechanism that realigns the flow of "finities", liberating trapped energies, bringing back planetary alignment when seemingly irrational, witnessed acts disrupt the causal stream, ending the tyranny of logic and reason.

It looks like all you’ve achieved is to substitute the tyranny of stupidity for the tyranny of logic and reason. Fat difference that’s gonna make.

Switch on the TV. Have a look what’s happening in the world. Go ahead... let's see if it worked.

Wars... An economic crisis... The usual stream of... what the hell?

You see!

And you think that’s connected? Oh come on, get real!

Of course it’s connected.

It’s just a random coincidence. How could shredding 12 000 dollars achieve that?
That's all it takes Zie - a minor hiccup in the causal stream. Every thing is connected as you're aware, so it's easy to affect the whole just as soon as you create an opening - a minor but meaningful disruption in the causal stream. Do something that seems completely and utterly illogical with the money as I did just now - shredding a pile of cash with you as my witness - and we momentarily collapsed the chain of causality. That enables something infinitely more powerful - the quantum field of conscious awareness to jump in the air, do a backwards somersault, yell “whoopee!” and the next thing you know the entire banking system extends a debt jubilee to every man, woman and child on the planet. Welcome to the age of infinity – where anything goes – just as long as any thing is.

Is what?

Just is. “What” is merely a matter of your perception, your interpretation.

Well, you’ve got balls, Merry, is all I can say.

Faery balls Zie, but that’s another story for another day.