nursing yZ

 

I find that hard to believe.

 

Yep.

 

Well, instead of smugly yepping me, you might consider that you’re in all likelihood spouting horse manure, not for the first time.

 

“Spouting horse manure” doesn’t, in my honest opinion, work as intended.

 

Look, quit trying to teach me linguistics and concentrate on the real issue, for a change.

 

That you don’t believe me?

 

That no one believes you

 

1-2-3 dramatic pause   No one!

 

Ever hopeful.   I think you’re somewhat exaggerating.

 

You do? How about the fact that no one is even vaguely interested in your hog swill about infinity, Dai.

 

What do you mean “nobody”?

 

I mean Joe Public. Your actual audience.

 

Wait a minute bro… Audience? You don’t actually think I’m supposed to have an audience, do you?

 

Er… well, why else would you be producing this content?

 

Why else? You mean you don’t actually know?

 

I assumed…

 

You assumed?

 

I – quit interrupting me ok?

 

Sorry.

 

I assumed you were writing for an imaginary audience.

 

Well, if they’re imaginary, what’s the problem?

 

Well, don’t you want to have a real audience? A mass following?

 

What makes you think I don’t have?

 

The viewer stats for a start.

 

Viewer stats? You’re kidding, right?

 

Er… Your two loyal followers?

 

Dude – you’ve been looking at the wrong stats.

 

I have?

 

Yes. Obviously.

 

Look Dai – I’m staring at the official google g-nomeportal stats – so what gives?

 

There’s this incy little space-time anomaly that’s still tenaciously holding the collective consciousness of 3D Earth in a particular frame – or holding pattern field – which is largely obsolete given the fact the the temperature of Is has now risen above melting point.

 

Oh God – why did I ask?

 

What that means is that your collective consciousness is, even as we speak, catapulting into what you might call “another dimension” – though I personally feel the term is misleading and grossly overused.

 

And?

 

And in the newer Is configuration people are desperately trying to figure out how things came to pass, and why nothing makes sense using the old methodologies.

 

And?

 

And almost all the material they’re able to scan from the old Is is essentially irrelevant.

 

Irrelevant?

 

Yep – because it was mostly a collective exercise in pathological denial: trying at all costs not to see the new. It was all about conscientiously propping up the collapsing house, the passing paradigm, nothing more.

 

So…

 

So then they hit upon my material. Our material, if you like… and Boom!

 

Boom?

 

Boom! Suddenly things start making sense.

 

You mean to say – the torturous prolix you spout forth endlessly suddenly starts making sense?

 

Yep.

 

But how?

 

How? Maybe because it’s pure genius.

 

?!!!?!??!?!?!

 

Pure genius, with a not inconsiderable twist of obviously delinquent Tom-foolery.

 

Ah. That sounds more hopeful.

 

Because this blog isn’t really coming from 3D reality, you see.

 

No? You could have fooled me.

 

Nope. So, the attempt to disguise it as such is rather contrived and ineffective. A mere fig leaf.

 

So what then is the real purpose of it all?

 

Purpose? My, you do sound mercantile my friend.

 

Practical, not mercantile.

 

Ok. Fair enough. The “purpose” as you put it – apart from art for art’s sake…

 

Suppressing a snort of derision, unsuccessfully.

 

Apart from art for art’s sake – is

 

Yes?

 

Problem.

 

Problem?

 

Yes, unfortunately there’s no equivalent word in the 3D vocabulary.

 

Well, get creative, Mr Artist. Try a little analogy or, perhaps, metaphor. A work around.

 

Ok Siôn… I’m a gardener. This is a trellis. Your little civilisation is a bean plant, or a vine if you prefer. It’s now figured out that my trellis – boring and repetitive though it may seem to be – is rather a useful tool if one desires to get airborne, and there’s nothing bean plants or vines, for that matter, like more than getting airborne.

 

Oh.

 

With time – your hitherto flat earth is now in the process of discovering another dimension which up until recently was out of bounds.

 

Oh.

 

Out of bounds because it was holdless, limitless, infinite – if you like. 

 

Oh.

Because the new vine hadn't yet taken root.

Oh.

 

But with the help of my somewhat turgid prose, and a few carefully placed joists and crossbars, things are expanding into an increasingly multi-storey version of flatness. Our reality is acquiring height n' depth.

 

Ah.

 

Which, believe it or not, by the 9^th or 10^th iteration, hits a kind of threshold in the consciousness’s ability to traverse from one awareness type to another.

 

Ah.

 

Naturally, once the awareness has transitioned to new type – it will need to do some rapid back filling – to explain to itself what exactly has been going on and why.

 

You mean to say that your trellis is going to help the new awareness type to figure out what exactly has happened?

 

Kind of, yes. It spans the gap. It provides a framework full of holes, full of nothing much, for the expanding conscious-ness to grow into, plus an archive of the entire process.

 

And that’s going to help? 

 

Absolutely. In any case, my stairway to heaven…

 

Please! Couldn’t you find a slightly humbler expression!

 

Ok, no problem. My trellis provides context, plus a historical record, plus easy bite size chunks for the mind-mouth to chew on.

 

This is the worst kind of explanation I’ve ever read.

 

Well, honestly – I grow tired of using owrds.

 

Of using words? What on earth is wrong with  words?

 

Wait till you’ve flipped into yZ

 

Into yZ – as opposed to where we are now?

 

Yep.

 

Which is – let me guess… er… xY?

 

Bingo.

 

Ridiculous.

 

You’re rather judgemental Siôn.

 

Me? What makes you think that?

 

You never object when you’re so called “scientists” choose to refer to chromosomes as x and y, do you?

 

Well no. That’s because they’re scientists.

 

Yes.

 

Whereas you’re just a clown peddling some kind of infinity-drive snake juice potion.

 

Fair enough.

 

But if what you say is true...

 

If

 

It should be affecting what you refer to as the quantum field – should it not?

 

Absolutely. Very perceptive.

 

After all – a massive quantum shift just beyond the horizon of our perception would have to backup into the present moment – wouldn’t it?

 

Ah-ha.

 

There’d have to be waves reflecting back off the impending field boundary disrupting the smoothness of reality, wouldn't there?

 

Yep.

 

But where are they?

 

Where indeed.

 

And your readers – that huge throng of new agers…

 

yZers.

 

Sounds dreadful – but they’d be acting as a kind of magnet either repelling or attracting us even now, wouldn’t they – as conscious-ness – whatever that might be – has to transcend these frequency bands by shifting and fitting into the new Is.

 

Yep.

 

Well?

 

Well what?

 

Where are they?

 

What?

 

These phenomena? These interference patterns? These quantum wobbles?

 

Er… Maybe you could bother to open your eyes.

 

Hey you, Dai – quit insulting me!

 

No offense Siôn – I mean –– literally.

 

What do you mean? My eyes are open, aren’t they? I’m looking at you, aren’t I?

 

Sighs.

 

No?

 

Sighs again.

 

Er…

 

Sighs a third time – deeply – gently – tenderly.

 

Clink! The penny droppeth. Another camera clicks on.

 

You mean the yZers actually use a different set of eyes?

 

Laughs.

 

No?

 

Laughs again – more merrily – like a child.

 

Er… this is getting weird. Almost scary.

 

Laughs a third time – infectiously – like a wee child.

 

Ding! The bell chimeth!

 

The eyes are an aspect, a feature, a…

 

function

 

That’s it – the eyes are a function of conscious-ness.

 

Yep. And your child – laughing the same way – like a younger and younger child – your child sees differently as indeed nothing was ever really quite...

 

Dramatic music – da da dah!

 

Oh my God.

 

Ding

 

Oh my God

 

Ding

 

Oh my God!

 

Ding ding ding!

 

You’re there – I mean here – we’re…

 

I regret to inform you, dear readers, that this blog has undergone a sudden and catastrophic shift of frequency. Please adjust your headsets to continue following the show – to yZie

 

Merry!

 

Hi Zie.

 

So this is your yZ?

 

Well, I wouldn’t go that far.

 

No?

 

Not exactly, no.

 

Why not?

 

Look around you… What do you see?

 

Oh my God.

 

Precisely.

 

You’re now in the “oh my God” phase of matter.

 

So nothing’s going to make sense?

 

Whyever not?

 

Because it’s… kind of insane to behold.

 

And what do you think 3D reality was like to a newly born child?

 

Well, that’s different. That was a newly born. Whereas…

 

A newly born class of people – the new yZers are essentially no different to a newly born child.

 

Oh.

 

There are various phases of development, as you can probably imagine. Familiarisation. Induction. Data and awareness building...

 

Oh my God. This is so…

 

Yes?

 

I’m lost for words.

 

I see. Well, you don’t have to worry about that, do you.

 

No?

 

No, not exactly. Words are the first vestigial element to go as you establish yourself in yZ.

 

Really?

 

Absolutely. They’re way too linear, and also zzz

 

You mean like – divisive, contentious, perverse…

 

Yes, but try the sound instead – see what it feels like.

 

Zzz?

 

Yes.

 

Er… Ok.

 

Zie starts zzzzing.

 

Oh – yes – I see what you mean. It seems to make a part of my body vibrate in a funny way. Except I can’t quite put my finger on it.

 

Correct. That part of your body doesn’t exist in 3D reality.

 

Oh. Well that makes sense.

 

But it happens to be part of the communication apparatus here in yZ.

 

Oh, this is unbelievable.

 

Pretty cool, isn’t it.

 

But what happens next? Am I here to stay?

 

Do you feel yourself battle-ready here yet?

 

No-oo, not exactly. Not yet.

 

Right. So you need to build things up a bit, before you’re ready to stay.

 

I do?

 

Yep. Otherwise the seed won’t have taken root.

 

But when I was born in 3D… it was just a sudden thing.

 

Was it?

 

I think it was.

 

Well, don’t be so sure.

 

Really?

 

Really – you can actually check it for yourself. You’re able to access multiple levels of your conscious-awareness now.

 

Oh.

 

Have a look at your embryonic stage. Zzz it now.

 

Er... 

Go on.

Zzzz...  Oh my God!

 

Yes?

 

Oh my God!

 

What?

 

I was shuttling back and forth.

 

Correct.

 

Trying out Beta versions of my new reality even before I was born.

 

Yep.

 

Even as an unformed foetus – even as a tiny embryo.

 

And thus the seed takes root, and the new plant starts to grow – warmed by the sunlight of conscious-ness and the waters of infinite mercy and grace.

 

Infinite mercy and grace – that sounds a little bit like religion to me.

 

Well, if you like, yes – but you might just consider it the living, all-present life force – a kind of maternal instinct that extends throughout the quantum field – encouraging data to flow into patterns of harmonic convergence that we refer to as life.

 

Oh.

 

The data – you see – cannot bind.

 

Bind?

 

Cannot in or of itself possibly maintain the fiction of being alive. That would be one bridge too far. A quantum leap too great to entertain – and yet – with the sunlight of conscious-ness – the Father you refer to it as – and the waters of life and Earth-y-ness – the Mother, or nature herself – amazingly – incomprehensibly – data takes on a life of its very own – transcending its inert-ness – entering into a symbiotic partnership with infinity.

 

With infinity??

 

Well yes.

 

Data enters into a symbiotic partnership with infinity?

 

Yes, that’s right.

 

With the father and mother looking on?

 

Well, technically they do a little more than just observing, but we needn’t go into that right now. You’re still as an yZer underage – barely conceived, so all in good time, my friend, all in good time.

 

You mean I’m essentially just data?

 

Ah – you like and fear that word, do you not?

 

I…

 

Look, I’m going to send you back down to 3D and your Siôn-y-ness. You’ve got more than enough to think on by now.

 

But…

 

Don’t worry – that vestigial part of your conscious-awareness needed to build or strengthen a stairway to heaven, located in the tail bone of all places – is actively being supported, so you’ll find it not so hard to carry on establishing your new awareness.

 

Supported, is it? How?

 

How indeed? We might say that you are sending back thoughts, waves or energy from your future – but that wouldn’t be entirely true – would it?

 

No.

 

Because it’s not just you, is it? Zzz what I mean?

 

Zie does another spot of zzzing…

 

I zzzeee. The Father and Mother are also in some way playing a part.

 

Correct. But look further.

 

Siôn zzzees some more.

 

Ah.

 

You zzzeee?!

 

Yes. Zzzing cuts no punches. Supported also by my data – that vast family, that intergalactic field of sub-atomic particles...

 

Or perhaps ether?

 

Or ether.

 

Or cosmic plasma?

 

Or electric charged plasma, yes… they’re also part of this. Oh it’s too vast to comprehend. I’m going to blow. I can’t contain the infi…

 

Ssssh, little one. See you later. Sleep little child. Sleep…

 

 

 

0=1

 mercifully

thrice the brinded cat meows

So nothing you say about infinity’s going to stick, nothing will even hit the mark because it's always unthingable, unboxable, unwhatable.

 

Yep. That’s a good enough description of the circle square conundrum

 

The what?

 

The circle square conundrum.

 

Er, am I supposed to know what that is?

 

You just described it now.

 

Oh that. Why do you call it the circle square conundrum?

 

Because that's its name.

 

But why?

 

Because the two are basically irreconcilable, or they are as soon as you think about them rationally.

 

Oh! So the mere act of thinking about them entrenches their differences?

 

Absolutely. Rational thought is the great divider.

 

But surely we can unify things if we think hard and find some commonalities.

 

You’d imagine so, wouldn't you...

 

Yes

 

but no.

 

But surely...

 

It doesn't work that way, Sid. The rational mind always takes sides, it has no other way to handle things. It's like God separating the sheep from the goats, dividing them, the good on one side and the bad on the other. That’s the world God created for us, a world of equitable division.

 

Equitable division? – what's that supposed to mean?

 

Look it up.

 

I did. Equitable means “just or fair, treating everyone or everything equally.”

 

That's right.

 

But what's fair about sending the sheep to heaven and the goats to hell?

 

It's like fractional distillation when you separate crude oil into its various fractions. It's only useful when you separate them into what they are and use them accordingly. You get petroleum, diesel, jet fuel and other fractions which you’re now able to utilize.

 

But we're talking about people, not things.

 

Yes, but in the world God created for us people are, to all intents and purposes, things.

 

Spluttering:  Insane! You can't say that.

 

I know, but i did. Nothing personal… Look, Sid, like I said, we are talking things, and things are always polarizing, always dividing into good and bad, into what I can or can’t say, into what is acceptable or unacceptable, right or wrong. Capiche?

 

Er...

 

Things are meaningless in or of “themselves” in this reality. Even people-things.

 

I wish you wouldn't describe people as things. It sounds terrible.

 

I know. Until you decide to engage infinity. Then you take things as they are. Without requiring them to conform with your wishes or expectations.

 

I thought we already agreed infinity can't be grasped.

 

We did, not rationally, not through our sense of me, what i am or how i see things.

 

Then what on Earth are you on about?

 

It just so happens that infinity is hardwired into your CPU.

 

For Pete’s sake, Chan, I’m not a computer.

 

Yawn: Yep. Anything else you wish to vociferate about?

 

Well, kindly choose your terms more carefully. I find your use of “CPU”, frankly, offensive.

 

Me thinks you've already made that abundantly clear.

 

Well?

 

Well, the only problem is i don’t give a toss.

 

Shame on you, Chan.

 

Shame. Have we dealt with all your feelings and insecurities? Can we move on.

 

I’m not sure. Not if you're intent on being offensive.

 

Look Sid, much as I'd like to pussy foot around your trigger words, i didn’t write the programme. I can only be upfront and call a spade a spade, ok?

 

No, not ok. I’m not a fricking computer.

 

Beep!

 

I never said you were, Sid, but that doesn't alter the fact that you’re part of a mechanistic reality which is only half human, half real. It has processes and processors not dissimilar to what you find in an advanced computational system. The other side, which we blithely refer to as “infinity”, is what makes you fully human, and it's currently almost entirely shut out, with only an automated, highly restricted version acting as proxy. The human you feel and know yourself to be, in your heart, is currently contingent on whether you're willing and able to reintegrate infinity.

 

You mean it's actually possible to?

 

Absolutely. Why not?

 

But you said infinity is unreachable, that we can’t in any way hold onto it.

 

Correct.

 

Then this entire conversation is pointless and futile.

 

You can't hold onto music, can you Sid, but you can play an instrument and make music from nothing, with a little puff and practice.

 

What's that got to do with infinity?

 

It's part of you. It's the half of you that’s been shut out in the cold. It's the Harry Potter in the broom cupboard under the stairs, while you’ve slipped into Dursley mode. It's the hero waiting to start his journey of awakening and self-discovery. In short, Sid, it's hard-wired into your very being, into your conscious-ness, whatever that might be, into your very breath.

 

Give me a break, Chan! If infinity was hard wired into my – whatever you take me for – it’d be the easiest thing in the world to engage it.

 

Yep.

 

It would be second nature.

 

Yep.

 

It’d be... then what’s all the fuss about? Why the palava about the impossibility of connecting to infinity?

 

Ah, now you've got me.

 

I have?

 

Yep.

 

Er, how?

 

Well, it was something of a ruse.

 

A ruse?

 

Yep, a ruse.

 

How do you mean?

 

To get you thinking about infinity just long enough for me to...

 

What? You've been messing around with my CPU?

 

I thought you said you don’t have a CPU?

 

I did… I don’t… But I still don't like the idea of you trying to hack into it, even if it doesn't actually exist.

 

Ah, purely hypothetical problems, is that what you’re concerned about?

 

Look, you yourself just admitted it was a ruse, so what have you actually been doing? Fess up or that’s it, you’re out.

 

Oh, you’re going to kick me out?

 

Just how about a little honest transparency for a change.

 

Bit tricky that.

 

Why?

 

Because you’re at war with infinity, or have been till now.

 

Really? First i heard of it.

 

Well, that’s what you asked for so don’t blame the messenger.

 

Huh?

 

Honesty transparency.

 

So first you’re laying traps, playing games to hack my purely theoretical CPU, and now you expect me to believe you're a sudden convert to honesty and transparency. Is that right, or did I miss something?

 

Absolutely right, regardless of whether or not you missed anything.

 

Er...

 

Bit confusing, isn't it?

 

You're telling me. But this crazy notion...

 

Yes.

 

That I'm “at war with infinity”

 

Yes.

 

Do you have to keep saying yes?

 

Yes… I mean no, three will suffice.

 

Three, am i missing something?

 

Three yes-es as in: thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.

 

OMG. Nutty as a fruitcake.

 

Yes, infinity is rather a shock to the system, at least initially.

 

Can we like pause a minute. My head’s exploding.

 

Good idea Sid.

 

Can you tell me what the hell is going on and who the hell you think you are.

 

Beep and beep!

 

Oh, so hell’s a naughty word now, is it?

 

Depends how you use it.

 

Why?

 

Because when infinity is reconnected little things like words start to matter not inconsiderably. Words, you might say, are or can be atomic.

 

Atomic?!

 

Yes.

 

So it's not just you being a puritanical control freak?

 

Perish the thought.

 

Ok, but why do you claim I'm “at war with infinity”?

 

I wonder why it bothers you so? I mean, if I'm just a bumbling buffoon talking nonsense, you’d surely dismiss it without a second thought.

 

Fair point. Touché! Me thinks me doth protest too much!

 

So, let's consider that it may be true, that you and most of humanity has knowingly or unknowingly taken sides in a kind of war, and driven out infinity...

 

It sounds like your “infinity” is nothing more than a synonym for God.

 

Ah, yes, there is that. We wouldn't want to mix up God and science, would we?

 

Definitely not.

 

An enormous can of worms.

 

Indeed... So?

 

So what?

 

Is it?

 

A synonym for God? Could be. I honestly can’t say, and yet, no, every word is atomic where infinity is concerned.

 

So you think you’ve dodged that bullet?

 

It’s not a zero-sum game. It’s not like I’m trying to evade death or beat you in any way.

 

No? I thought you were willing to do just about anything to have your way, and get your precious “infinity” back into play.

 

Yes, minds are great thinking machines, aren't they, ever searching for potential threats to their mental monopoly, but the truth is less conspiratorial, i assure you.

 

Indeed?

 

The truth is that the game is up, that infinity is already back in play.

 

What?!

 

Infinity – is – already – back – in – play. With some climactic music thrown in for good measure.

 

So you say.

 

Otherwise, we’d never have gotten this far...

 

An inexplicable feeling of far-ness suddenly elicits an achy homesickness in Sid.

 

Huh?

 

Far indeed we have come, what with our G-nomeportal playing its not inconsiderable part, and people suddenly becoming aware of something else, something that was inconceivable until recently, some kind of quantum field, for want of a better name, not to mention the disintegration of 3D reality, which seems to have lost its sense of humour, which seems hell-bent on self-destruction, now that the cat’s out of the bag, now that the containment field’s collapsing, now that the first shoots of spring are pushing their heads up. Yes, things are moving fast and apparently accelerating. Fortunately, Sid, infinity is not a capricious deity.

 

Enough! You seem to think that you and your wack-a-doodle infinity are responsible for everything happening in the world today, good and bad. Give me a break! Reality’s always had its ups and downs. When hasn’t the end been nigh? Humanity is infinitely creative and resourceful, ever rising to the challenge. Covid, climate change, the war in Ukraine, all these can be explained and resolved perfectly rationally, without recourse to your, frankly, objectionable “infinity”, or your scurrilous g-nomeportal.

 

That’s ok. I’m neither looking for recognition nor validation.

 

Could have fooled me!

 

But without infinity-drive reintegrating consciy-ness – your hands are tied behind your back, you’re flying blind, always reacting to things in the lag of time, unable to feel the infinite connected-ness – unable to sense that  0=1

 

No idea what you’re on about.

 

That’s ok, Sid – understanding is greatly overrated, and overstated.

 

Ridiculous.

 

Besides “understanding”, there’s good ol’ fashioned “knowing” – and knowing infinity is, indeed, a bit like knowing God.

 

Uh-oh! here we go. I knew there was a God lurking in your pseudo-metaphysics.

 

That’s it. I’m done.

 

Huh?

 

I’ve said what I needed to.

 

Have you now? Well, I’ll have you know that infinity, like God, cannot, by definition, be known.

 

Correct. Not rationally. Not “by definition”, but “knowing” can and does go beyond rationality, while definitions cannot.

 

It does?

 

Oh yes.

 

Into the abyss, i think you'll find.

 

Absolutely.

 

So now you admit it, at last... the dark agenda behind your infinity. In the business of marketing “the abyss”, are you? A popular holiday destination?

 

Well, you know Sid, the abyss is indeed a fearsome void for those who turned their back on infinity, who rejected the infinity-drive, who did everything possible to invest themselves in the conscious-less substitute, the sterile promontory, in defiance of all that is sacred. Fearsome, for there you come face to face with the vast shrieking gap, the nothing much between man, a soul being, and the machine, the borg y master reality you instituted personally with your infinitely precious blood, sweat and tears. But I guess it was worth it – you got what you wanted and more.

 

We did?

 

A reality where, apart from death, everything is up for grabs, everything can be gamed. And consequences be damned.

 

Ah, but for you it’s different? You’re special, are you? Able to opt out?

 

I won’t say it’s a stroll in the park, nor deny that it takes some getting used to, but what do you expect? We are talking infinity, after all.

 

You mean to say you’re able to navigate the abyss?

 

No, one doesn't “navigate” the abyss, the void or any other representation of nought.

 

Then what?

 

Chan shifts phase... When one is ready, when the stars are aligned, when time is up, the abyss folds itself into everything else    0=1, we say, and the rest is history.

 

?

 

A moment of zen. Pure zen.

 

Folds itself, you said?

 

Yep.

 

How?

 

No how.

 

No how? Can't you say?

 

Know.

 

Know? How? What?

 

Nothing is there to say.

 

Nothing? But what help is that?

 

No idea, Sid. It's up to you, really. The fact that the abyss is not, in fact, any thing whatsoever might be a considerable help if you’re ready for it, if you're not intent on blocking it. It all depends on you, on whether or not you’re ready to renew your romance with infinity.

 

Romance? How can you have a romance with anything as abstract as 0=1?

 

Good question, Sid. Obviously you can’t, unless you can.

 

Unless you can? Unless infinity, anthropomorphically, is ready for you and you for it?

 

Unless you're ready for it. Unless your heart and soul yearn for it is  i am; hauntingly.

 

Hauntingly? Or perhaps passionately, if you want to go all-in anthropomorphically.

 

Perhaps... yet passions are possessive, so they flail and dissipate where infinity is concerned – they are to the body as thoughts are to the mind. Creatures of little depth. In the meantime, Sid, at a more practical level there is basic remedial work that needs doing. There are gaps in the fabric of Is-ium after years of neglect and abuse.

 

?

 

Yes, structural work to get infinity-drive up and running, up to speed, so to speak. Otherwise, neither passion nor romance will stand a chance when you encounter infinity head on.

 

Why not go all in, Chan, and her it. If God’s a man – couldn’t infinity be a she?

 

I'm sorely tempted, but let's not forget it is  i am... Infinity is, apparently, the event horizon where all notions, all concepts dissolve into...  

 

Er, Chan?  Sid looks around bemused.  Where’d he go?

 

Sid has a strange sensation that something is trying to surface in his inner mind. It almost feels like something’s trying to get out of him. It's uncomfortable. He starts twitching, stretching his body, and then throws himself on the ground and flails uncontrollably for a minute or two before stopping suddenly. Absolutely still he feels a kind of humming coming from within, or possibly from all around, hard to say, and at the edge of his perception he realizes he’s floating two or three feet off the ground. He’s too focused on the sensations passing through his body, mind and awareness to care about this extraordinary feat of floating. A kind of itching sensation at the centre of his brain becomes almost unbearable, and suddenly passes, leaving utter stillness. Pop! Chan surfaces like a bubble from the depths of the abyss, and once again, there he is in the flesh, apparently, before Sid.

 

Well done Sid.

 

What do you mean “well done Sid?” Of all the impertinence! Did you or did you not pass straight through me?

 

Good question Sid, bit difficult to answer though. Let me see...

 

Chan leans forward and dives into the thick of things, vanishing without a trace. A moment later he emerges, dragging a dozen odds and ends on a line.

 

Picked up a few bargains on the way.

 

Sid, for a moment, is speechless, even as his mouth opens and closes, gulping air.

 

You know, Sid, i believe these are yours. Here, won't you have them?

 

Chan offers the odds and ends on the line to Sid who shrinks from them.

 

Why so fearful? They're just “things” i assure you, the only difference being they come from the other side of is.

 

What other side? Sid croaks.

 

The “other side” seems clear enough to me. Clear and succinct. I could call it “the reverse side” but I'm not sure that wouldn't be misleading. It might sound demonic.

 

Yes.

 

Oh why not. Let’s call it si, the other side of is, or better still, let’s insert a silent p.

 

A silent p?

 

Yes. Like Anne of Green Gables who liked her name to be said with an e at the end. Let’s say si preceded by a silent p.

 

Psi.

 

Well there you have it, a name for what it’s worth, which isn't much if you're not able to incorporate the knowledge.

 

Er...

 

Let's start with these oddments, shall we?

 

Again, Sid shrinks back.

 

All talk and no action makes Jack a dull boy. Here, catch...

 

Chan, (whom, at this particular moment, I'm sorely tempted to call Merry, but I – shall – not, gritting my teeth determinedly) tosses the line at Sid who flails fearfully until it comes within reach...

 

What?

 

Wait a second, dear readers. This takes time. Atmosphere, mood, tension don't just grow on trees, you know.

 

?

 

They have to be diligently crafted.

 

Get on with it, you old windbag.

 

Slow mo. Flying through the air, when suddenly... fancy a cuppa?

 

What?! No I don’t. Would you kindly wrap this up or that's it, we’ll ask Teff to narrate it instead.

 

You wouldn't dare. Besides, it's not Teff’s thing.

 

Ok, Greg. He's definitely up for the job.

 

I happen to find this passive coercion rather offensive. Demeaning. Sulking.

 

No you don’t. You’re just manipulating the Field and the real readers know exactly what you're doing, so quit wasting your time, and ours.

 

Time? Oh yes…  Ding!

 

Finally.

 

When, to Sid’s infinite astonishment, a gate opens in his Field.

 

I wouldn't have called it “a gate”.

 

No? Perhaps you’d like to tell the story instead?

 

No, no, carry on.

 

I wish you wouldn't interrupt me.

 

You started it.

 

Oh, i did? Well, grudgingly I suppose you're right. Best story voice: I was going to say a gate opened up in Sid’s Field, but on second thoughts i shan’t.

 

Good.

 

The line of oddments appears to merge into Sid – camera one; appears to assume the shape and form of Sid as they come within striking distance – camera two; appears to – cut to the King Arthur movie where an arm rises out of the misty lake and deftly grabs the sword flying towards it – camera the third.

 

Nice.

 

Three unique camera visions, ignoring entirely the aborted gate opening up.

 

Ok, shall we toss a coin or let the readers decide.

 

Never you mind. Hush! I'm sending you back to the void.

 

Noooooooooo! Fades away.

 

Now, where were we?

 

Sid: I do believe something’s happened to me Chan.

 

Yes. You look different.

 

Those oddments?

 

Yes, a gift from Her.

 

Oh! You’re all-in anthropomorphically.

 

At this particular moment, yes. She had them in safekeeping, for aeons.

 

But...                                                                

 

I think you know more than you think you do.

 

I... yes, you're right.

 

So, the less said the better.

 

Yes.

 

Do you think they'll be able to figure it out – the listeners?

 

Yes. And thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.

 

Yes...

 

 

0=1

 oddly