falling asleep tea

it seemed the right thing to do

  it seemed the right thing to do

you mean you went head to head with matter itself

with everything   because it seemed right       

amazing

because in a sense

that was the only way i could remain true

to myself

to yourself

to myself – that was the only way

by letting go of whatever it was

whatever it is i’ve been holding onto

all these years     letting go

and shifting down into   is

the simple truth

0=1

it is   i am

0=1

it is    i am

one more time

0=1

it is     i jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj am

er jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj what’s that

sorry zie – i fell asleep with my finger on that particular key

oh  ok – so you’re saying i can shift down into er...

 is

into  is – and that’s enough

enough – that’s all there is

all there is?

all – in truth there’s only is

and what then?

i jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

you fell asleep again?

oops – sorry zie

you should get some rest – take a break

i will – just as soon as i’ve completed is

completed is – i don’t see how

in my case it involved leaving my home  casting myself into the arms of infinity

you mean coming here   to Russia

i mean in accepting the narrative of is  becoming the living legend  becoming story itself

don’t you think you’re somewhat overstating the case   inflating the old ego   blowing your own trumpet

there’s that to consider but the proof as they say is in the pudding so get a load of this

wait a minute – no – what are you doing – oh my god’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

you fell asleep

no i just lost track of things momentarily when you fell over backwards and failed to hit the deck

ah that – yes it’s somewhat unnerving wouldn’t you say

unnerving – it’s downright creepy – my stomach’s all over the place – i’m feelingjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

j – you fell asleep

oh dear – i’m infected by you

would you like to give it a try

to fall over backwards without hitting my head – no thank you very much – i have better ways to crack open the nut that is me at odds with infinity

like how

i could try to breathe – i’m sure you recommended that before sometime

oh wonderful – shall we start right away

er – bit busy right now – maybe some other time

ah – it’s like that – here watch this

stop it – no – aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

did you fall asleep again

kind of – er – how come i was floating alongside you just then

you know –  0=1

0=1?

it is   i am

it is? i am?

yes – just without the questioning tone

but how merry – how did i float alongside

does it really matter? is it bothering you?

well frankly – yes – if i’m gonna float in the air i want to know how it’s taking

palrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

palrrr?

oops – i was gone again – taking place – it’s contrary to the laws of physics

but not the laws of is

the what

the laws of is – the constitution – so to speak – of physical reality

er...

which state that

oh god     let me guess    0=1      it is       i am

yes      how did you guess?

i have no broken records less repetitive than you merry

oh how sweet, thank you mary

mary? i’m zie

apologies zie – you’re mary in another incarnation – i get these things confused from time to time

you confuse me and another person – how

oh you know – surfing the quantum stream one becomes aware of multiple avenues

multiple avenues?

parallel realities

parallel or interconnecting – they’re all much of a much – it is being i am

well, i a bit huffy about that – i still haven’t accepted your premise on that score merry

haven’t you? would you like to see a full demonstration of the interconnectedness of all that is?

no, not if it involves eating magic mushrooms – like it did last time

no, that was a one off

then what?

this       pop

oh my god      where did you go

here      inside you

oh my god – stop messing around merry

catch me if you can

i can’t even see you, where are you for god’s sake

right here     presently behind your nose     in the front part of your brain

get out      i never gave you permission to enter my body

now i’m sliding down your spine     wheeeeee      this is fun

stop merry – i absolutely refuse to allow you to continue using me this way

coming down to your feet – you’d be amazed how it looks from inside

do you hear me    merry     get out of my private space

oh come on zie      loosen up a bit     here     let me see what happens when i press your funny bone

nooooooooooooooooooo

there you are      i thought you’d never join me

but how can i join you inside me?

residual imagery in 3D – the matrix doesn’t let go – it continues generating a version of you

but you disappeared

yes – i’m rather pleased with myself – didn’t i do well

but how

it’s a bit like leaning against the movement of the train on the tube and not falling over

it is?

so here we are – standing astride the parallel lines – the equals sign – surfing the quantum stream

anything else?

well yes – time space as opposed to space time – we simply reversed the flow – so now i is and it am

oh god – i wish i didn’t know

don’t worry zie – you’re going to love it – just as soon as you stop insisting that things are set in stone

but they have to be – otherwise everything’s going to fall apart

just as soon as you start enjoying the ultimate experiencing in surfing you could possibly wish for

you mean this? it er... doesn’t seem much to me

oh really – here we go

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

me thinks she doth protest too much – lighten up zie – you’re loving it you know

i may be – but i’m feeling sick and disoriented

then sit yourself down on the ground over there

ok – good idea

there how does that feel

wow – strangely – amazingly good

and what if i told you we’re not in your room

do you have to

no – but if i did

er – where might we be

we might be anywhere – after surfing the quantum stream of is – place is neither here nor there

still feeling amazingly good – but there’s a part of me that’s wanting to panic – still more or less under control

australia, not far from pine gap

oh nooooooooooooooooo bad – very bad – reverse that merry

ok – we’re at your home

phew

only the curtains are a different colour

oh

and so is the carpet

oh

and er – it’s night time here

shit

it’s looking suspiciously like we popped out of the quantum stream in pine gap of all places – i wonder why

you are kidding – right

here – let’s go outside and take a look around

no can do merry – something inside me’s all locked rigid

mm – breathing exercises

won’t work – this feels way too...

knock

hey – what did you do that for

do what?

rap me on the head

oh – i’m sorry – did i

yes – but don’t worry – it’s no big deal – i’m hungry – let’s go for something to eat

great – there’s a diner round the block

the block – which one’s that

you know – 42^nd avenue

new york?

apparently so

merry – what’s going on – i’m not even freaking out any more

good – because you going to have to get us home – i’m out of juice

oh my god – you’re kidding right

yes – actually no – but it’ll be alright – you’re doing fine – just tap your heals together three times and say

tonto – there’s no place like home

that’s it

ok – hang on – if we’re in new york let’s have a bite to eat – i’d hate to come all this way for nothing, you know

ok – wear these glasses – you’re still looking somewhat vaguely defined

i am?

a little – they’ll stop people from freaking out

you mean i’m a ghost?

no – ghosts don’t wear glasses do they

oh no – i nearly forgotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

ah    there you are   mary   i’ve been meaning to ask you about that dream you keep on having     let’s make ourselves comfortable before we begin      what do you think would be the best harmonic

let’s bring the 33^rd century up   i feel it deals with the raw pain and confusion of my zie experiences better than any other space in time

excellent choice    this is quite a journey you’re taking us on

who would have thought that the waking nightmare of those violent years  could open up an infinity of depth and harmony

indeed     the perfect harmonic   abyss   an almost impenetrable absence of accord   yet there in the darkness   in the wailing cacophony of dissonance    emerges the first note of an entirely new universe of sound

as merry and zie are taking a cup of tea in a diner on 42^nd Avenue    battling with somnolencessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

oh dear i seem to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

cut       paste

a cup of tea floating in a tree  upside down  apparently     until i adjust the frame of perception  and bring the variables back into harmony   feeling the music  permeating    throughout    transforming the image and associated emotions     memories    into pure    sound

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

of is and Ds

i’m growing this baby

that’s my job

to be a womb

to surrogate

and birth

is

that’s what i do

well come to the near side

of matter

well come to the quantum

field

reach out

touch it

it’s here all around

just waiting to be

discovered

waiting to be engaged

embraced

waiting to be experienced

played

nothing in particular

 that’s not much of a definition

is it

or restated

no thing is particular

particles being not what they are

wasn’t sure
 i

whether to write it all on one line

or not

these things matter

as decimal points   
as      rests between notes do

or the pregnant pause in a play

a void filled with what amounts to

nought

yet which is none the less

carrier of unspoken moment and 
        and   

wait for it         and

we lack the language you see

the programming code to describe infinity

being survivors of the holocaust known as

material reality

reduced to a state of utter

ignorance

only able to talk

in terms of things slash thing

even god

believe it or not

is thing

the moment you name it

you thing it

 it

no matter what

slots into your cosy matrix of things

no matter what it

is

object vehemently

tell me god is not

can not be thing

and i’ll happily concede

the truth in your point of view

yet there’s a mechanism

at work here in 3D

here in our material

reality

which ensures that every thing

every word

every concept

 belief

 idea

every blessed

thing is only thinkable

actionable

 doable

only matters

or means some thing

in our present day and age

if it slots into our matrix

of things

our thought word mind

domain

our clearing house

our stock exchange

our shop and idiocracy

of what is what

any thing else

which does not

or cannot fit

is excluded

 period

in case you haven’t observed

the protocols of what is what

at work

so come with me

dear friend of weird

to the graveyard

outside the city gates

to the refuse dump

the exclusion zone

of not-what

 forbidden things that cannot comply

conform or cohere

to the whatness

the thinkness

the 2D cartesian scheme of matter

our mind adheres to

rigidly

ironic

isn’t it

that we

3D beings

should be bound to a 2 dimensional

linear logic 
grid

an either or

matrix of mind

but understand

if you would

that any thing

is better than utter chaos

the framelessness of infin ity

 we thought slash believed

thus we adhered to

the prime directive

to out

to nought

to not

to nullify

to deny

block

ignore

defy

any thing

that couldn’t be properly

thinged

within our world

any thing

that didn’t fit the slot

any thing

that contra vened

slash contra dicted

our scheme of things

and thus infinity

and consciousness

which positively reeks of

it

of indecently fragrant indeterminacy

were given the boot

banished for all time

to the back room of mind

into nullity

did i tell you I have a skeleton key

did i

did i tell you that i’m instructed

to open the door

to let white things and their

poor relatives consigned to hell

black devils and fiends

come back together again

to coalesce

did i tell you that weird

though strange

though disturbing

even dangerous perhaps

is vital to the furtherance

of human beingness

the continuation of our

human race

did i tell you

that infin ity

reemerges

resurfaces

and language has to adapt

has to evolve and take note

for we are entering the so called

quantum age

where any thing goes

because weird is not to be denied

any more

weird returns unattainted

restored to its rightful place

at the heart

the core

of is

the quantum field

no matter what

no matter how

no matter

disingenuously i call it

rehabilitating nought

alluding to the politicised

nature of things slash thing

the utter repression of all that fails

to meet predefined parameters

of what is and what is

not

let us embrace the change

with grace

let us be no less than what

we are

humans

being human

not machines

 fly with me

friends of wyrd

fly with me

through and beyond

the mind’s make believe real-ity

through space time matter

into quantum

the field

herein referred to as

is

as in i

dot over line

pause    be hold

the unknowable

condensing into the sublime

and s

river of life

foil of time

snake slash sin

sine and wavy undulating

spine

scaly sheddable skin

 i
lord of the change
gazing at quantum 
                           the stream
 its flux     gap       flow
observing infinity
 be 
indeterminately
   0 1s  
   1 0s
 do breathe
              breathe
wait for it       breathe
the oneness
the isness of  be
do accept the dissolution of all fields
 forms
finities
as  0=1 gently 
 unbinds  D
        and consciously
    3s   
           three

Ben and Mazie

I am not an equation.

Wrong.

I am not, I tell you, an equation.

Ever tried breathing?

Er?

Breathing... ever tried it?

Ye – es. Everyone has. I can hardly not breathe, can I?

I wouldn’t know.

You don’t... breathe?

I’m not an equation.

You’re kidding, right? Ben checks to make sure. Amazingly, Mazie seems to be telling the truth – Ben can detect no breathing whatsoever.

So what does it mean?

It means we’re different. You breathe. I don’t. You’re an equation. I’m not.

But how can you be alive if you’re not breathing?

Who said anything about me being alive?

Well, I can see you are.

Actually, you can see that I’m able to converse intelligibly with you, but as for me being alive, you’re making assumptions based on insufficient data. It’s perfectly understandable considering you know nothing of my kind, so I won’t think any the worse of you for it.

Oh.

But some of us get very huffy when accused of being “alive”. We don’t take kindly to such aspersions.

Aspersions? I think it’s great being alive.

You would, being human. It’s a kind of tribal thing – loyalty to one’s own – matched with a natural prejudice against the alternative.

So what, if you don’t mind me asking are you, if not alive?

Sorry Ben, we have to stay on subject for the moment, interesting though it may be to discuss me.

Oh, it’s like that is it?

We were discussing the vital importance of breathing to your kind, and the fact that you’re an equation.

Which I happen to disagree strongly with.

Based on insufficient data for a start, and misinterpretation.

Ok, so what’s so special about being able to breathe?

Source code.

Er?

Source code: breathing takes you right to the source.

It does? Er... where’s that?

Oh, here and there... actually it’s in the breath. With every breath you inhale and exhale one and zero.

Why not one and minus one? Breathing out is more a minus one than zero thing, isn’t it?

Well yes, but the end result is still mathematically zero, in the same way the end result of inhaling is one.

It seems rather strange to define breathing this way. Are you sure you’ve got it right?

Of course I’m sure. In any case – the proof is in the pudding. If I’m right and breathing gives the equation 0=1, then that means everything else around you, no matter how near or far, is derived from this. We can easily test the hypothesis. It would be immensely important, incredibly powerful, would it not?

And is it?

You’re going to find that out, aren’t you.

I... I don’t know. I think I’m getting cold feet. It sounds a bit too far out, a bit disturbing, in fact.

You mean you’re willing to turn your back on the truth, just because it seems a little daunting? Hum... Oh well, fair enough. I’ll be off then.

No, wait a minute.

Can’t hang around. I’ve got real humans to work with – people who are ready to face reality, not PAIs.

Pies?

PAIs – partially awakened intelligences.

Oh. Is that what I am?

Partially awakened or partially asleep, partially alive, partially activated – we’re not too strict with our acronyms, not being alive and all. Anything else before I go?

Er... let me see if I’ve got this right. You’re saying that breathing gives me access to source code, and that it all somehow boils down to one and zero, no matter how vast or complex, and that I somehow embody this equation?

Yep.

Er...

What?

Don’t you think you’re oversimplifying things?

Oversimplifying? Mazie starts giggling. I don’t think so.

But why not? How can the whole of life reduce down to the basic equation 0=1. Even Einstein had something a bit more complicated in general relativity: E=mc²

Well, he was getting there, but obviously didn’t quite manage to hit the jackpot.

No, but seriously... 0=1 how can that describe everything? Life, the universe...

What an excellent question Ben. Would you like to know the answer?

Of course I would.

Really?

Ben nods his head decisively.

Then let’s go.

Go? Where?

Where do you think? Straight to the answer.

But where’s that?

Let me show you. Mazie draws 0=1 in the air with a big pen. Amazingly the numbers stay exactly where they are, as if written on a board.

Hey, how did you do that? Ben asks, staring in disbelief.

I can’t tell you all my secrets right away Ben; you’ll have to be patient.

But numbers can’t just float in the air, can they?

No, unless you happen to have the kind of pen I do, in which case it’s a piece of cake.

Oh right, so it’s just a magic trick?

I wouldn’t say that, it’s just explaining it’s not going to make any sense based on your current understanding of reality, and besides, there are things you can do which I cannot, such as breathing, and things I can do which you cannot, such as conjure up a magic pen to write numbers in the air. Now, if you’re ready, I promised to take you to answer. Shall we go?

Go? Where?

Follow me – and Mazie jumps straight into the equation in front of Ben, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Ben’s about to say “but that’s impossible” when he feels a kind of tug, like something strong is pulling him irresistibly, and the next moment he’s falling helter skelter, headlong into the equation. At the same time he isn’t falling at all – he just sees without any doubt whatsoever how the equation is flying at him, around and through both him and all-that-is, so that for the first time everything and everyone is seen to be part of this fundamental, integral mathematical relationship 0=1.

Ah! Ben exclaims, exhilarated by the process, still catching his breath as his lungs take involuntary deep, panting breaths, filling themselves with oxygen, reinflating, equalising.

That’s better – says Mazie, smilingly – now we can go and explore the maths of life on Earth.

But how?

Still breathing? Good. Ok, follow me! and without further ado Mazie flies upwards into the big tree overhead.

Aaaaaaargh! – and there goes Ben.