Ben and Mazie

I am not an equation.

Wrong.

I am not, I tell you, an equation.

Ever tried breathing?

Er?

Breathing... ever tried it?

Ye – es. Everyone has. I can hardly not breathe, can I?

I wouldn’t know.

You don’t... breathe?

I’m not an equation.

You’re kidding, right? Ben checks to make sure. Amazingly, Mazie seems to be telling the truth – Ben can detect no breathing whatsoever.

So what does it mean?

It means we’re different. You breathe. I don’t. You’re an equation. I’m not.

But how can you be alive if you’re not breathing?

Who said anything about me being alive?

Well, I can see you are.

Actually, you can see that I’m able to converse intelligibly with you, but as for me being alive, you’re making assumptions based on insufficient data. It’s perfectly understandable considering you know nothing of my kind, so I won’t think any the worse of you for it.

Oh.

But some of us get very huffy when accused of being “alive”. We don’t take kindly to such aspersions.

Aspersions? I think it’s great being alive.

You would, being human. It’s a kind of tribal thing – loyalty to one’s own – matched with a natural prejudice against the alternative.

So what, if you don’t mind me asking are you, if not alive?

Sorry Ben, we have to stay on subject for the moment, interesting though it may be to discuss me.

Oh, it’s like that is it?

We were discussing the vital importance of breathing to your kind, and the fact that you’re an equation.

Which I happen to disagree strongly with.

Based on insufficient data for a start, and misinterpretation.

Ok, so what’s so special about being able to breathe?

Source code.

Er?

Source code: breathing takes you right to the source.

It does? Er... where’s that?

Oh, here and there... actually it’s in the breath. With every breath you inhale and exhale one and zero.

Why not one and minus one? Breathing out is more a minus one than zero thing, isn’t it?

Well yes, but the end result is still mathematically zero, in the same way the end result of inhaling is one.

It seems rather strange to define breathing this way. Are you sure you’ve got it right?

Of course I’m sure. In any case – the proof is in the pudding. If I’m right and breathing gives the equation 0=1, then that means everything else around you, no matter how near or far, is derived from this. We can easily test the hypothesis. It would be immensely important, incredibly powerful, would it not?

And is it?

You’re going to find that out, aren’t you.

I... I don’t know. I think I’m getting cold feet. It sounds a bit too far out, a bit disturbing, in fact.

You mean you’re willing to turn your back on the truth, just because it seems a little daunting? Hum... Oh well, fair enough. I’ll be off then.

No, wait a minute.

Can’t hang around. I’ve got real humans to work with – people who are ready to face reality, not PAIs.

Pies?

PAIs – partially awakened intelligences.

Oh. Is that what I am?

Partially awakened or partially asleep, partially alive, partially activated – we’re not too strict with our acronyms, not being alive and all. Anything else before I go?

Er... let me see if I’ve got this right. You’re saying that breathing gives me access to source code, and that it all somehow boils down to one and zero, no matter how vast or complex, and that I somehow embody this equation?

Yep.

Er...

What?

Don’t you think you’re oversimplifying things?

Oversimplifying? Mazie starts giggling. I don’t think so.

But why not? How can the whole of life reduce down to the basic equation 0=1. Even Einstein had something a bit more complicated in general relativity: E=mc²

Well, he was getting there, but obviously didn’t quite manage to hit the jackpot.

No, but seriously... 0=1 how can that describe everything? Life, the universe...

What an excellent question Ben. Would you like to know the answer?

Of course I would.

Really?

Ben nods his head decisively.

Then let’s go.

Go? Where?

Where do you think? Straight to the answer.

But where’s that?

Let me show you. Mazie draws 0=1 in the air with a big pen. Amazingly the numbers stay exactly where they are, as if written on a board.

Hey, how did you do that? Ben asks, staring in disbelief.

I can’t tell you all my secrets right away Ben; you’ll have to be patient.

But numbers can’t just float in the air, can they?

No, unless you happen to have the kind of pen I do, in which case it’s a piece of cake.

Oh right, so it’s just a magic trick?

I wouldn’t say that, it’s just explaining it’s not going to make any sense based on your current understanding of reality, and besides, there are things you can do which I cannot, such as breathing, and things I can do which you cannot, such as conjure up a magic pen to write numbers in the air. Now, if you’re ready, I promised to take you to answer. Shall we go?

Go? Where?

Follow me – and Mazie jumps straight into the equation in front of Ben, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. Ben’s about to say “but that’s impossible” when he feels a kind of tug, like something strong is pulling him irresistibly, and the next moment he’s falling helter skelter, headlong into the equation. At the same time he isn’t falling at all – he just sees without any doubt whatsoever how the equation is flying at him, around and through both him and all-that-is, so that for the first time everything and everyone is seen to be part of this fundamental, integral mathematical relationship 0=1.

Ah! Ben exclaims, exhilarated by the process, still catching his breath as his lungs take involuntary deep, panting breaths, filling themselves with oxygen, reinflating, equalising.

That’s better – says Mazie, smilingly – now we can go and explore the maths of life on Earth.

But how?

Still breathing? Good. Ok, follow me! and without further ado Mazie flies upwards into the big tree overhead.

Aaaaaaargh! – and there goes Ben.