Chapter22 – in which I contemplate death and definitely not

“Oh, do you have to?” – Joan pulls a face.

No, of course not – but I thought it would be fun.

“Come on Pi, you know that’s not true. Whoever heard of people enjoying the contemplation of death... well, normal people, that is.”

That’s just it – Joan. By your definition “normal people” are those who wouldn’t or couldn’t enjoy anything as rigorous as contemplating death – they’d much rather chat about stuff. That’s what makes them “normal”.”

“And by your definition Pi, normal people like thinking about death and dying? Come on – where are you living? Death sucks. It’s just inevitable. That’s all there is to say about it.”

Yes. It’s inevitable, unless you take the trouble to balance the equation before time runs out.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Just that. We almost invariably put off balancing the equation, and so it’s normally done for us at death. System reset. Reload. Reboot. Finnegan beginnagin...

“Finnegan beginnagin – what on earth’s...”

You know, the song Michael Finnegan. Have a look at it if you like:


Like all these children’s tales it contains immeasurable depths if you pause a moment and sense the simple truth therein.

“More nonsense I expect.”

Yes, Joan – this is the trouble trying to explain something absurdly simple. You’ve been trained to look for complexity, and it’s hard to accept that life has to be ridiculously simple.

“But why?”

Because otherwise it couldn’t contain the infinite. Complexity only works up to a point. If you want to have multiple dimensions, multiple parallel realities interacting or co-existing, things have to be simple beyond words, beyond belief, otherwise it all crashes to a halt.

“But I don’t want to have multiple dimensions or realities. I have quite enough trouble with three dimensions, and I can’t for the life of me see how it’s going to get any better introducing more of the same.”

Good point.

“Oh finally, you concede I’ve made a good point.”

Yes, up to a point.

“Er... that’s sounding dangerously close to dot₃ – good point up to a point, full stop.”

Well yes, we require reference points otherwise nothing makes sense, full stop!

“Not true – things do make sense in reality. You know – this amazing 3D objective, material reality thing that you so despise and constantly belittle.”

Oh no, that wasn’t my intention – I’d be sorry if that’s what I’ve been doing.

“You would?”

Yes, because 3D reality is awesome – it does a great job taking us through the I-mind/what matters inversion.

“The what?”

Well, inversion of course. We have everything back to front. The cart before the horse, the chicken before the egg – no forget that last one...

“Why, does it mess up your argument?”

No – it’s just the chicken and the egg are two sides of a single loop – like a mobius strip so that isn't really inversion, is it?

“Look, Pi, could you come down to earth for a second please? I’m all for deep truth and fundamental knowledge, just as long as it doesn’t have to fry my brains to get there.”

Oh – sorry about that Joan. You have to admit that it is rather interesting watching the mobius strip and thinking about what is up and what is down, and whether our reality is similar.

“Well, if you want me to be polite, then yes, it’s interesting, but I thought you wanted to talk about death – that’s looking much more interesting all of a sudden.”

Oh – I think we’ve dealt with it already, haven’t we?

“We have? In which point of the conversation did we – er...”

Well, in multiple points. Inversion, for a starter.

“Yes, well you haven’t really defined inversion so I’m none the wiser.”

There’s really nothing to it. This reality mathematically cannot make sense because it appears to be formed from nothing and heading back into nothing, when all we are aware of here are bits of matter. As far as we’re concerned these bits of matter are most definitely “something” and so are we – though we’d never refer to ourselves as “bits of matter” would we?

“No, I don’t suppose we would. It doesn’t sound very flattering, does it?”

Not in the least. So if it makes no sense, and if it doesn’t add up mathematically, instead of trying to chase the escaping wave, or the dog’s proverbial tail, let us instead alter our assumptions.

“Can we do that? Isn’t that a bit like cheating?”

Not at all. It’s entirely up to us what assumptions we choose to make. Now the assumptions we’ve been making up till now are 3D I-mind/what matters assumptions, in which things have to add up...

“That’s it?”

Yep. Kind of ridiculously simple innit – when you think about it.

“Well actually Pi I’m doing my best not to think about it. I’m frightened “it” might grab me, pull me down to unfathomable depths and not let go till I’m long past caring.”

Ha ha – good joke!

“Why does he think I’m joking?”

So, instead of assuming things have to add up – we accept there’s no way they possibly can.

“We do? Is there any particular reason why?”

Yes, of course. Because we lack beginning and end – our system is not in fact closed – however hard we try to pretend it is.

“And?”

Well, if the system is not in fact closed, but like  a mobius strip, or an endless Mandelbrot fractal, leading ever further into the infinite – then there’s no way any two points can in fact add up – because the “what” of our reality is not in fact determined or fixed.

“And what of it?”

Well, it means that like a kaleidoscope – you think you’re counting pink fish, but the next moment you find that you’re not.

“...not what? Not counting pink fish, or not in existence?”

E-n-b.

[Groan...] “Not that again. Remind me what the letters stand for – then again, don’t bother – you’ll only confuse me.”

Too late – I have to take your first command at face value J Either – neither – both...

“So it could be one or t’other, or neither of ‘em, or both – and we can’t be any more specific without violating some mathematical postulate? Is that what you mean?”

Kind of... I think that’s a pretty good summation, but let me give you one more piece of the jigsaw puzzle.

“Do you have to?”

No, not if you don’t want me to.

[A moment’s silence] “... oh go on then. What have I got to lose? I’ve already lost most of my marbles talking to you.”

Ah... well, as I said – it has to be mindbogglingly simple of nothing could work – so we’re forever overlooking the blindingly obvious in our all too natural bias towards matter, and complexity.

“So you keep saying. To be honest, if you want to avoid complexity I think you’d better stick to bus timetables or Chinese takeaway menus.”

Yes, but this being a fractal universe means I can find the same in any sphere, in any thing – there’s no escaping the simple truth – it stares you in the face wherever you go, whatever you do.

“It does? I think you need help. You must be suffering greatly.”

On the contrary Joan, I’m lovin it, because it’s all coming together and making perfect sense, all of a sudden. For example, the scientist talks about 3 spatial dimensions but ignores the fact that there must be correspondingly 3 mental dimensions – like 3 planes of mind that create the mind space in which I-mind/what matters is able to observe and operate.

“But that’s bizarre. Whoever said that the mind needs 3 dimensions? I mean – we can see space has 3 – but why should the mind.”

Well, otherwise your mental images, mind projections fall flat, become linear, fail to deal with the fundamental issues, cannot square the circle, cannot factor life into the equation of matter, and so on, so forth ad infinitum.

“Oh...”

Otherwise we’d be completely divorced from/ different from what we’re observing – which is impossible. The observer is always mysteriously a part of what he/ she is observing – and that doesn’t make sense if mind is non-dimensional whereas what mind is observing is.

“It doesn’t?”

No, for how would mind be able to recognise and observe dimensions were it not for the fact that they were intrinsic to mind itself – that mind is constantly projecting and reading and entering into entangled oneness with what is being observed, and constantly maintaining another point of absolute aloofness.

“So how many dimensions is that? Aloofness of the I-don’t give a damn observer, the normal state of observing and minding – being emotionally involved, and the third position... what would that be?”

What not, of course.

[GROAN] “Stop it please, your what not butts into every conversation and means nothing to me. It’s too vague. Change it for something else please.”

That, dear Joan, is precisely what it’s supposed to be – way – way too vague. So vague that you lose all sense of me in it, and flip over into itness or thing.

“Go on then... what’s the itness of thing you’re referring to?”

Simply you are what you’re observing. Have to be. Couldn’t be otherwise. That’s that third dimension, if you like, the reversed one  in which object and subject – observer and observed switch places, within the heart beat of conscious-awareness, only to switch back before the relationship becomes too incestuous – before it spawns...

“Spawns what... Oh not again...?”

[Smiling innocently]

“It’s one of those dot dot dot moments isn’t it?”

Nearly – you see – if you stayed too long in what not – more than a single pulse of conscious-awareness, one loop of the mobius strip, you’d forget where you were coming from and you just become what you were observing – so you’d spawn yourself if you like, or if you find that unappealing or confusing – let’s just leave it purposefully, scientifically vague. Three dots will suffice.

“But you can’t be scientifically vague. That’s a contradiction in terms.”

Yes, and that’s the beauty of the 3D mind – it can have its cake and eat it – otherwise we’d never have bumped into paradox nor the chicken and egg conundrum, nor the yearnings of the soul which seem to completely undigitise whatever the mind likes to calculate.

“Ok – let me get this straight. You’re telling me you can basically do whatever you like because it all boils down to ENB?”

Yes – as long as

“As long as what?”

Well, you see, if I allow myself to do anything, but disconnect from what is – then whatever I’m doing becomes meaningless.

“You don’t say? I think you’re beginning to make sense to me now.”

Whereas if I play around and go beyond the limits of I-mind/what matters, I can make more sense of things by turning everything upside down and putting the cart before the horse, so to speak.

“But why?”

Because that way I’m engaging my mind and reality on equal terms, instead of assuming that mind is God.

“Excuse me? What was that?”

It’s a bit of a secret really – I’m not sure I wanted to let it slip out like that.”

“Too late – carry on – I want to hear you incriminate yourself for once and for all.”

I have a right to silence you know.

“Yes, you do.”

But since you asked, let me answer.

“Just promise me you’re not going to start preaching that we’re all God. I’ve heard that all before and it’s never really made the slightest bit of difference when I’m withdrawing money from the atm and insufficient funds flash up on screen.”

Ha ha – good one.

“Sensitivity, Pi, is not your forte, is it?”

No, but if you’re short of a bob or two, why don’t you give me a call. I’ve got plenty you know.

“I do not like borrowing from people.”

You mean from friends – don’t you?

“I’m not sure I’d go that far... Pi. But no, you understand, it always gets in the way of friendship.”

Not in my case.

“Whyever not?”

Because I just take the money without needing a bank account.

“Oh pull the other one. You’re not made of money, I know that, and you’re way to square to rob a bank.”

I could be a hacker?

“Look, you’re not. I know you Pi. You’re making this up.”

Actually I’m not, Joan, but you’re right, I’m not a hacker as such – not in the computer sense, but I am able to hack the matrix – or reality.

“You are? How?”

Well that’s what we’ve been discussing, innit?

“Er... I’m not too sure really. What are we discussing anyway?”

I mentioned that mind is God – and you freaked out.

“Yeah, well I’ve heard enough of all that stuff. I want reality – practical down to earth, boots on the soil kind of stuff.”

Which is why we’re discussing death. Nothing more down to earth than life cycles.

“Ok Pi, let’s give death a miss for the moment. I’m curious, though, what did you mean about the mind being God?”

Well, the way we normally operate in this I-mind/what matters is to assume the God perspective.

“We do?”

Yep... Now don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean we are God as such – but our mind assumes it’s inviolable, even if we’re not.

“That sounds kind of dumb really.”

Amazingly dumb. It’ s the mind’s blindspot. It likes to operate with complete impunity, complete freedom, complete abstraction, so it simply assumed it’s as it were God.”

“And?”

And that’s it really. God can get away with murder. God doesn’t have to answer for anything. God is over and above any system and so can veto whatever it is with a simple “not”. That’s what the mind does. It “nots” whatever it doesn’t like, instead of engaging and realising that what it doesn’t like is merely reflecting what I truly am... that I’d be better served by engaging the isness rather than notting it.

“So operating from the I’m basically God position does just that?”

Yes... it kind of ties us in knots... and in such a way we have created the mindscape of “what not” – a virtual reality that is a wonderland for Consciousness to come and play in.

“You’re kidding. You mean we’ve been generating a game land for Consciousness?”

Kind of – but ENB tends to apply here as always. Frustrating innit? We always like to get definite, but doing so means we’ve simply taken another snapshot of reality and boldly declared “this is it” – which it was a moment ago, but is no longer.

“Things change – you mean.”

Precisely. The definition is always a “was” as opposed to an “is”.

“So what’s the alternative to being tinpot “I’m the king of the castle you’re the dirty rascal” God.”

There is no alternative. We cannot help being what I am, unless we become aware of what not.

“No, I don’t want to go down that avenue again. Every time you mention “what not” it makes me feel...”

Release it Joan. Dear Joan. Beautiful Joan. Be happy, soft and free. Release the pain, release the anger, release the fear.

“I...”

Dearest Joan – know that you are light, and you are truly love...

Breathe, dear Joan, allow yourself to feel the simple flow, the breath...

Breathe and know that you are one and all that is...

Breathe and know that you are One and all that is...

Breathe, and know, that you are One, and all that is...

“Your words make no sense.”

None at all. But breathe and feel your oneness with all that is – with all that you sense, and all that you perceive. Breathe softly, gently, breathe and know the simple truth.

“The simple truth – you’re going to tell me what it is?”

You already know. You’ve always known. Just as soon as you’re ready to feel the magical mystery, the life that flows through everyone and everything. One – it is – I am.

“And that’s it?”

One... it is – I am. The mobius strip of existence. The 3 dimensions of Is.

“The what? You’re kidding...”

The oneness, the allness, the isness. Words, merely words, and yet dot dot dot, they have the power to lift us into that which is – that I Be.

Chapter 21 – in which everything and nothing...

“You can’t call a chapter “in which everything and nothing”.”

I just did.

“Yes, but you can’t. It ain’t grammatical!”

Whyever not?

“You know why – you’ve got to say what...”

But I don’t choose to say what. I choose to say dot dot dot...

“And another thing, you’ve told us almost nothing about g-nome portal or Faery. Just the barest outline – a reading room here, another chamber there. This won’t do.”

No, it won’t. I was hoping you’d raise the matter.

“You were?”

Yes, you see, I’m not allowed to give information that you haven’t yet authorised.

“You what?”

I can’t give you more information than you yourself authorise. It means that until you’re ready to experience g-nome portal yourself, I’m only allowed to provide the bare minimum – just enough to keep story afloat.

“But whyever not?”

Well, firstly it would be a violation of your freewill right to know.

“Er... how so?”

Because the right to know is as much a right to not know – so if you haven’t yet chosen to know this for yourself then it’s impermissible for me to rub your nose in it, so to speak. You have the right to know whatever you choose, whenever you choose, but you have to make that decision rather than ask me to make it for you. Now, if I were to give you more information than you yet chose to receive, it would create an opposite reaction. It would cause a kind of informational indigestion. You see, the information I’d be giving you would get in the way of your own learning.

“Er... why’s that?”

Well, the learning process is multi-dimensional. It isn’t do “a”, then do “b”, then turn right and do “c”. It’s always happening on multiple levels, because you just happen to be multi-levelled and multi-faceted. So too much information can actually disrupt the natural learning progression. It makes you self-conscious and causes you to trip up, and so, somewhat frustratingly, I have to keep my mouth shut. In any case, you already have full access to g-nome portal and to Faery – you’re already fully qualified, you’ve already been there and done that, you just haven’t yet joined the dots so you don’t remember it.

“Now come on – that’s absurd. If I’d done it all, been to g-nome and Faery – I’d remember. I happen to have an excellent memory.”

You do – much better than me I’ll admit, but joining the dots is a little different in this context.

“How so?”

I’m referring to dot₃

“And, what of it?”

Well, there are three dots that can only be joined by accepting the isness of any given situation – like the chapter’s title “in which everything and nothing...”

“Yes – well I don’t see any isness in that – just a vagueness.”

Well, it’s a vagueness until you’re ready to pause and breathe the isness of be – in which everything... and nothing... and in the space between, in the thrice repeated point or dot, that is, one as much as it is three, in the obvious break in the flow of sense and meaning, either I-mind/what matters gets obstreperous, in which case there’s no going forward anyway, or it accepts that this is a quantum stream moment – a time to unfurl the faery wings and start breathing life into Mind that knows.

“Well I find it very frustrating, all this dot₃ stuff, and breathing. I’d much rather just have it pointed out in black and white.”

Which you can... and there are endless books that take you down that path, all providing food for thought – entertainment for the 3D mind, until you decide that you’d rather consider something else.

“Like what?”

Like Is.

“And how does one consider something as vague as Is?”

Mathematically. Logically. Magically.

“There seems to be something of a contradiction in your approach. Since when was magic logical?”

Since the birth of time – for “magic” here doesn’t refer to witches' spells turning sheep into frogs, but the magic of life, of creation, and the seemingly impossible yet, in fact, perfectly logical relationship between everything and nothing.

“There you go... It’s obvious to anyone that there can be no meaningful relationship between everything and nothing. They are opposites.  They can no more be related than fire and water. They cancel one another out.”

Yes, in a world without magic. But once you allow magic back into the equation, once you start factoring Creation back into the equation, then you find that your opposites are in fact working as perfectly together as muscles in an antagonistic muscle system, or as levers pushing and pulling together...

“So how, then, do you factor Creation into the equation?”

Fractally.

“Go on.”

Well, you start with 1 and 0.

“...!”

You know that you can’t explain Creation in terms of what is created, so you don’t bother trying to. Instead you say that Creation is the be all and end all, the 1 and the 0 inherent to anything within it, the alpha and omega...

“Ok, ok – no need to repeat yourself.”

Well, that’s it really. In a fractal universe Creation in omnipresent, is ongoing – every moment is arising from zero time, from Creation itself just as much as any other preceding moment. “Big bang” wasn’t a then, long, long ago occurrence. Whatever “Big bang” might be, it is as much a now occurrence as way back then.

“Is that all you have to say? Words that achieve nothing. Just words. “Big bang is happening now”. Ridiculous. I don’t see the universe being created in this moment. I see the results of it – of what happened billions of years ago.”

Yes. You see what you’re looking for.

“No, I see what is – to use your expression.”

Well, I appreciate the compliment, but pause for a moment and think. From what moment did the big bang occur?

“From the first moment of course.”

So there you have it. Big bang is that which causes the first moment, so in whichever way things are continuing to happen, we see lesser first moments all around us in this fractal universe. Each moment is a fraction of the preceding one. Time has never really been created at all, just further divided, and redivided. Likewise space. We are going from the first moment, from one, back to zero by subdivision, but that in no way explains the magical nature of Creation.

“Why do you insist Creation is magical? Why demean it, making it sound like a conjuror’s trick?”

Because the word magic, like the word gay, or the word rude has a true, original meaning. The word’s meaning is not altered by the fact that you or other’s choose not to adhere to it. Speaking mathematically I am compelled to use the word’s true meaning, regardless of public tastes or sensibilities.

“But you can’t speak “mathematically”. If you wanted to speak mathematically you’d have to use numbers, not words.”

Er... who says?

“Well, everyone knows words or open to interpretation. Numbers are not.”

This is one of your irrefutable truths I expect. But let me agree with you – words are indeed open to interpretation, and their meanings can change, but then you are using a fundamentally different word to the original.

“How so?”

Well, the original word was magical. It had a specific vibration, a specific meaning, a power and beauty all of its own. It was unmistakable. It was as clear as the number two is today.

“And what then happened? How come today we all use words differently?”

Well, we ceased to...

“What?”

There is no word to describe this. There are stories, however, such as the tale of the tower of Babel – how people stopped understanding one another. There’s also the tale of banishment from the Garden of Eden.

“Oh come on... you’re not going to say Adam and Eve were magicians who stopped using words properly and got punished by the Creator for bad syntax.”

No, I’m not. I’m going to say that eating the apple from the tree of knowledge gave them the kind of knowledge that...

“What? I wish you’d stop pausing mid sentence.”

It’s not a pause mid sentence. The tree of knowledge gave them the kind of knowledge that... as opposed to...

“As opposed to what?”

Yes... as opposed to what. Instead of them simply knowing what is as they had, they started knowing what is what, the derivative. It was object knowledge based on thing and form and substance...

“So you’re saying they stopped being magical because they were ensnared by knowledge that could be taken, owned, traded...?”

Well of course. It’s obvious really, isn’t it?

“Not necessarily.”

Well, before their knowledge was objective, before they took that which wasn’t theirs, they were within Creation itself, outside time as we know it. They didn’t think of it as magic, but from our perspective everything they were able to do was magic, because they were still within Creation – the zero time. It was only when they fell out of zero time into time that they found...

“Er... what did they find?”

Presumably what they’d been looking for. Let’s not assume that everything’s a mistake. Let’s not assume that we’re being punished. Let’s assume instead that, consciously or unconsciously, they’d been looking for an experience of life outside Creation, from where they could remotely view Creation, from whence they could catch a glimpse of how wonderful and amazing it is, not so much in terms of what they could do, see, or learn, but more in terms of what they could no longer do, see or learn.

“You mean the very negativity of their experience was going to show them more of Creation than anything positive they might achieve?”

Of course. How could you achieve anything positive from without the infinite life force, the ultimate oneness, isness and allness of Creation. Everything humans have done ever since – even the Sistine chapel, the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids at Giza, the library of Constantinople – these have all been parodies of the knowledge, perfection, magic of Creation that is contained within a single atom, a single grain of salt, a single drop of water – from which the entire universe can be created.

“But how would they learn in terms of negativity?”

In relief, of course. You see, fundamentally, neither they nor you have ever been for one moment truly separated from Creation. It’s a physical impossibility, in spite of Seem, in spite of everything to the contrary.

“But if we’re not separated...”

Had we truly been separated from Creation we wouldn’t know anything more. That would be it. Zero ad infinitum. The separation we have experienced has only been meaningful because at a deeper soul level, across the quantum stream, we’ve always remained within Creation, and this creates interference patterns, this enables us to sense and see what is not, what we are not, what we cannot... on and on and on. All our strivings, our struggling have been futile and doomed from the outset, and yet we have stuck to it, as poets of the absurd, as artists creating a most remarkable canvas – “the very much alive and majestic tale of not”.

“And to what end? Why would we bother?”

Why not? Do you think we had anything better to do?

“No need to be facetious.”

Am I being facetious?

“Yes, people don’t just head off on a wild tangent into the wastelands of human suffering and misery on a whim, because they had “nothing better to do.” That’s not how the cosmic mind works.

No, but the Cosmic mind doesn’t see it the way you do.

“No?”

No. As far as the Cosmic mind is concerned this journey into not has been one of Seem rather than substance. Remember, if we’d ever truly been separated, even for one brief moment, from Creation we’d have not only died, but ceased to have ever been. It’s that simple. There really is no show, no game without Creation’s constant involvement. The life force and consciousness that make all this real are not part of our material reality. They permeate it – diffusing through it as background radiation, in the same way oxygen diffuses through the lung wall.

“So if we’re still in Creation – then we never left the Garden of Eden... it makes no sense.”

Correct.

“So it must be wrong.”

Correct.

“Well how can they both be correct if you assert that we never left Creation.”

“It must be wrong” you said – that has to refer to the it of itness.

“And what, pray tell, is the it of itness?”

Oh, this digitised version of reality, where we're never quite on the curve, where Creation is always somewhere over there.

“I don’t think hundreds of billions of years ago can be described as “somewhere over there”.

No, you don’t, but space and time are relative – it really matters not whether Creation was a hundred billion years ago or a billionth of a second ago – the two in truth amount to one and the same. Fundamentally, you see, in terms of Creation itself, there is no time, nor can there be.

“Oh.”

Which is how it’s possible for you to be in Creation and not. In time you’re definitely outside Creation, stuck trying to swim back onto the receding wave, and it can’t be done. Outside time, in the isness of Be, you’re up there on the wave enjoying the experience of being what not...

“What not? – I wish you wouldn’t. You know these expressions mean nothing to me.”

But... I see. Then forgive my...

“Your signal’s breaking up. Hello?”

Sorry, I got a bit bogged down in thought. Yes, “enjoying the experience of being...” without needing to say what or not.

“Ok, why does the timeless me enjoy the experience of being when I’m stuck here on a downer, watching the wave of Creation receding and trying to get back onto it?  Isn’t that cruelty.”

Yes – were it not for that the fact that you are You. You never stopped being both. But by agreeing to bog yourself down in knowledge of thing derived from the apple, it’s created a degree of Separation that’s enabled You to experience Being as opposed to simply being, and all the not and negativity in your life is what makes this possible. Without it, without the negativity of your existence and our reality, we’d pop back into Self, we’d collapse the marvellous experiment, the game of life.

“Oh please. This is no game. There’s suffering all around the world. Please don’t refer to it that way again. It makes me...”

Yes... and paradoxically, that’s precisely how you keep it going.

“Keep what going? I’m not keeping anything going. I’m just trying to live.”

This dear reader is a laughter and tears moment. For those of you who prefer to avoid such laughter and tears moments it would be best for you to leave the room. Perhaps put on the kettle. Make yourself a coffee. Have a biscuit or two, but the rest of us are going to have to fall back into helpless laughter, mirth and merriment, as the wave form of what not collapses back into Is, and all of  a sudden we find ourselves in Faery...

“Oh great – you mean the moment I go out to make a cup of coffee is when you finally reveal Faery to everyone else. That is despicable.”

Come on Jude, there’s nothing I or anyone else can do about it. These things happen at a quantum level.

“But couldn’t you have warned me? Couldn’t you have given me a clue?”

Jude. Ask the readers. They’re in on the act too. Half a dozen of them went off like you for refreshments. The rest stayed online and...

“Dot dot dot... I’m sick of it. Sick to the back teeth of your dodging responsibility, hiding behind your infantile dot dot dot, and Dorothy – I mean – how pathetic is that? Dorothy – some kind of wizard of Oz fairy godmother.”

Actually Dorothy wasn’t the Faery godmother. That was Glin...”

“You think I don’t know. Of course it was Glinda, but what does it matter.”

Ah...

“Your Dorothy – she’s just a figment of your imagination... she’s nothing... Nothing I tell you. Nothing.”

And so, beloved g-nomers, you see that Jude is biding time, but rather than berating him for being angry, consider instead the music of mood, the colours on the canvas of consciousness, and you’ll see how this moment of anger is in fact helping Jude to square his circle, to connect mathematically with a forgotten portion of his tale.

“... look, I’m sorry Gwynn, I don’t know what came over me.”

Gwynn is just a typical bloke like you or anyone else, but he’s at this moment completely unperturbed by Jude’s outburst, probably because he’s in on the act. It’s a bit like one of those TV shows where they set up a completely unexpected meeting between twins who were separated in childhood forty years ago, and you, the audience are waiting to see when the penny drops, when the emotions reveal themselves, when the two realise who they’re looking at.  Because Gwynn’s just staring into the water, feeling a bit calmer watching it flow past, when he notices it changing in consistency – and perhaps because of his recent outburst, or perhaps because he knows more than he’s letting on – whatever the reason – Gywnn doesn’t as habitually he would – mind what matters, nor does he try to explain what he’s observing – he just enjoys the sensation of watching and feeling, and sensing and moment, magical moment creeps up on him, so gently, softly, peacefully that he melts through the membrane wall of what not...

“Dorothy!” he yells with a look of pure delight on his face. There you are. And like a dog who’s overjoyed to see his master, Jude bounds up to Dorothy and throws himself into her arms.

Catastrophe is averted by a gentle quantum field of energy that smoothes and soothes the violence of his embrace, and Dorothy emerges a moment or two later looking elegant as ever, if a little ruffled in the feathers.

“Jude my dear, have a look in my magic mirror,” she says.

“Oh, why do you call it a magic mirror – it’s just a quantum reflector,” he answers.

“Yes,” she replies, “but we’re not afraid of magicky things and playfulness, are we...”

“No Mother,” he answers, and I know, dear reader, you’ll find this a little strange, but it’s a bit like the way people call a priest “father”. In Dorothy’s case, however, it isn’t a title as such, just a natural feeling that leads people to say this.

“So what do you see?”

“Oh... but that’s...”

“Impossible, is it not? There you are making coffee, missing the opportunity to see me, to catch up with Faery, yet here you are, and here you’ve always been... Let’s enjoy this moment out of time. You have a wealth of memories to catch up on and I think you’re going to find them worth the wait.”

Back down by the river Jude blinks when a fish rises for a fly.

“Ah,” he says, “I feel...”

“Yes,” Gwynn replies with a smile, “so do I...”

Chapter 20 – in which we return to Chapter 1 and wysiwyg

“0=1” mutters Josh the Jubilant... trying to figure it out for once and for all.

“What was that?” Gill enquires.

“0=1... I’m sure it has to be incredibly obvious, I just can’t for the life of me seem to get it clear in my mind.”

“No, of course not Josh. You were never supposed to get it clear in your mind.”

“Then how am I supposed to Be? How can I change everything and fix the mess I see around me?”

Gill laughs affectionately. “Why on Earth would you want to “fix the mess” as you put it?”

“Well isn’t that the whole point? Isn’t that what we’re doing here at g-nome portal?”

Gill laughs and laughs till tears run down her face, and strange to say it but Josh doesn’t feel annoyed. Her laughter seems to lift something in his heart. He joins in the merriment laughing too.

“So you see,” Gill says in a lull in the laughter, “how could we fix what isn’t broken – what is working perfectly? It was the good intentions of the Story Strategy Council and most of humanity’s attempts to “sort things out” that have taken us deeper into the confusion and chaos of I-mind/it matters. All of our fixings and sorting and correctings only removed us further from the moment Now, from the isness of Be... only got in the way of the narrative which has to constantly oscillate between darkness and light, male – female, between its two poles of north and south in order to remain unified, to be One.”

“Well isn’t that just it, Gill. You’re talking about it being One – so then it would be One equals One, as opposed to zero.”

“Of course it would, and thus it is – One indeed equals One – for what it’s worth.”

“Which goes to show that everything I’ve learnt at g-nome portal has been wrong.”

“Yes, indeed.”

Josh receives this like a heavy blow. He’d not realised it but the strange, mystical formula 0=1 however outlandish it had seemed, had nonetheless offered hope – for how else was the circle to be squared, how else were things to be put right? It had to be something so fundamental, so simple, so clear that it cut through all else, all of matter and what not... but now even Gill, how was it possible, even Gill had admitted it was false, and somewhere deep within he felt a loathing – a hate – I knew I couldn’t trust her, I knew she couldn’t really have the answer, or Dorothy, or Nerys even... they don’t think the way we do, these women, they don’t really understand the nature of things...”

“The nature of things?” Gill interrupts his angry thoughts – “No, we don’t need to understand the nature of things, for “nature” and “things” are far apart. We understand nature, and know what matters.”

“You know what matters? How can you say that? You’ve just admitted that one in fact equals one, that everything I’ve learnt at g-nome has been wrong...”

“And in doing so I’ve helped you find the last level of your defences – the deepest antagonism – the belief that the woman, the female is your enemy – that she stands between you and what matters, that she prevents you from knowing and understanding what is.”

“Well, if she’s going to be illogical and change her tune midway through the argument, then obviously it’s impossible to speak with her as an equal. You can’t reason with the devil.”

And again Gill erupts in more of this inexplicably light, crystal bell-like laughter. “How is possible she can laugh at such a moment,” Josh thinks to himself, and carries on thinking until his malice and anger is fully dissolved by her lighthearted mirth... and he joins her once more in laughter and merriment.

“There is no thing to explain, dear Josh,” says Gill jubilantly. “Nothing has ever been explained or proven that way, for the mind is like a dog that’s got a bone between its teeth and just won’t let go. Only when you’re back in spirits, back in joy can you see the wood from the tree, can you feel, can you know...”

A pause... as Josh feels what she’s saying, before involuntarily he lets slip:

“Know what?” and then he too starts laughing, knowing the absurdity of it all.

“So “zero equals one”, paradoxically, in no way contradicts one equals one, nor zero equals zero.”

“I don’t get it Gill, for the first time I’m able to feel what you’re saying but my mind is...paralysed.”

“Mercifully, it’s finally come to accept its limits – thanks to the deeper truth that you’re feeling and allowing through.”

“But I can’t live without knowing – it’ll drive me mad.”

“Who said anything about living without knowing? Knowing, however, is first and foremost a feeling, a female thing – it’s deep intuition and it harbours no doubt because it comes from the isness and our oneness with all that is.”

“Ok. I can feel that now. But what about understanding – is there any way I can explain it to myself?”

“Yes, of course there is, just as soon as you’ve recognised the real obstacle standing between you and knowing what is...”

“Which is?”

“As we’ve seen – a deep suspicion of the other side – of the female if you’re male, of the male if you’re female – a suspicion that we don’t like to admit to ourselves, that we hide in logic and rationality... which provokes all our emotional remonstrances...”

“Strange... I can’t for the life of me see why I should have been so angry with you – and accused you like I did of not being able to know. I can accept rationally that women can see things differently, but a moment ago it was like...”

“Like I was the anti-Christ, the devil coming between you and completely knowing – that if only you crushed me, eliminated me from the equation, you’d have finally got the long sought after answer to all that is.”

“... yes, ... er, how did you know?”

“Been there Josh already. We’re all the same you know, it’s just women are on one side of the life-matter curve,”

“And we’re on the other? So which of us are the goblins?”

“E-n-b.”

“Either – neither – both... Yes, I see. But really, in all seriousness, how can a woman’s mental inconstancy be of any service in the quest for truth?”

“Do you have any idea how many enemies you’ve just made by stereotyping us in that way Josh? Most women today think the same way men do – they’ve been educated that way. They’re not going to take kindly to you effectively saying they aren’t educated! But polemic aside – the female side of the equation can be cyclical like the moon, and that would certainly appear to the male sun to be inconstant with its waxing and waning, it’s lightening and darkening. The women for their part, especially the wise ones of old – the witches, as you called them, were at a complete loss to see how men could be so blind to the obvious secrets of nature – the truths as opposed to the monolithic truth. They saw and still do see everything in terms of ebb and flow, birth, death and rebirth. They didn’t need to talk about “reincarnation” they just felt and knew that nothing is created or destroyed, and they learnt how to interact beautifully, magically, elegantly with the cycles of nature, and their own inner cycles. They would, at times, allow themselves to go into what appears to be madness, the dark side, to replenish themselves, to emerge with new wisdom and strength, until the men prevented this by imposing a new story and burying the old.”

“So men persecuted the divine feminine you mean?”

“Men persecuted the divine masculine no less than the divine feminine – for both are ultimately one... 0=1”

“But I thought...”

“Yes, you thought, but I’m not bound by your rules of non-contradiction. Let’s allow paradox free rein to work its magic. The wind is unconstrained to blow from West and from East. The moon to rise in the day and in the night... to wax and to wane, but instead of focussing on the words themselves, isn’t it time you expanded beyond the what of word and felt the breath instead?”

“How do you mean the breath?”

“Well, how do you breathe?”

“Like everyone else – in and out.”

“And which is more important?”

“...er, does there have to be a more important side to breathing? Surely they’re equal.”

“That’s what you think rationally, while being objective, but in your driver’s seat of prejudice, the part of your mind that identifies with your masculinity, you inevitably think something different.”

“I do?”

“Yes, give it a moment – feel it and you’ll see.”

Josh takes a moment to feel his breath – to feel which side is more important.

“It’s strange Gill. Objectively I know you can’t have one without the other, that breathing in and breathing out must be equal, yet in my mind I notice there’s this leaning to one side – that breathing in is somehow more.”

“Correct.”

“But why?”

“Think on it – tell me yourself.”

Again Josh breathes in and out – getting himself balanced and calm till the answer comes of itself.

“Because breathing in is more a doing – and I’m more a doing person, as a man.”

“Yes, that’s right – and a woman can be too – no less.”

“And also because breath is bringing life into me – like the word “inspire” whereas breathing out is more like “expire”.“

“Correct, correct. So you see how the mind leans one way.”

“But isn’t that natural – I mean – shouldn’t we be on the side of life as opposed to death, or good as opposed to evil.”

“You should if you’re part of the I-mind/it matters game of life, in which case you’ll spend the whole of your life, every minute of every day learning what the consequences of your only too natural human bias are.”

“You don’t mean to say that being positive about breathing in causes suffering or harm?”

“I don’t mean to say anything. If you come back into the natural rhythm of your breath, the natural rhythm of your heart beat, the natural rhythm of the moon, or the seasons or the ages of man, you’ll see that there are not two sides in fact – there is a wave that rises and falls, and preferring the front side of the rising wave to the back side of the descending wave merely pulls you from centre and ensures you come out of isness into “itness of what”. Welcome to 3D reality. It’s yours to enjoy – should you so choose – or yours to destroy – or yours to...”

“To what, Gill?”

“Dot dot dot...” the third – neither creating nor destroying – just experiencing wholeheartedly, fully.”

“But how?”

“How what?”

“How can we experience life wholeheartedly when it’s so obviously skewed one way – and so bloody painful too?”

Gill tries her best, really she tries to keep a straight face – she does – I know, for I do too – but a curve creeps into her lips, a smile into her eyes, a chuckle, a laugh, and then once again full bellied irrepressible laughter.

Admittedly, at first Josh doesn’t get it – can’t see what’s so funny as he’s caught up in his thoughts, maudlin, which have inevitably strayed to one side... but laugher, as they say, is infectious, and laughter heals, and laughter lifts Josh lightly, gaily, effortlessly back onto curve, back into breath and equanimity and...

Dot dot dot

Why not try it best beloved g-nomers (bbgs)?

“What... try laughing?” they ask, wiping their eyes after joining Gill and Josh in their latest bout of laughter yoga, laughter therapy...

The chat rooms are truly a happy place and a happy face, with the sound stream enabling our bbgs to hear as well as read. Those of you who have missed out on the infectious laughter may be feeling a little in the dark, but if you try the magic of breath I guarantee you’ll be able to breathe in the infectious golden gaiety of laughter that’s nestling between the words on this page.

“Between the words? Isn’t that what Gill was referring to when inviting Josh to go beyond “the what of word”?”

Correct, for between the words is a space, no less important than the outbreath, no less pregnant and full of meaning than the 9 month gestation period before giving birth. We have tended to focus on the “it”, the thing, and ignored the silence, the space, the darkness between, and then we try to rectify that by starting a new thing, a new “it” such as meditating.

“What have you got against meditating? Isn’t that a good way to connect with the other side?”

Yes and no.

“What do you mean?”

Precisely that – yes and no. Yes, it’s a good way – no it isn’t.

“But that doesn’t help me...” you seem to frown.

No, not until you breathe it and feel it for what it’s worth, for what it is... then you see, then you know.

And bbgs do just this – breathing my “yes and no” and again, as before, the pause, the space, the moment out of time, the little darkness allows the light to shine through. You get it effortlessly, and doing so, reconnect with curve.

“So meditation can be as much a doing thing as anything else – especially when it’s like a king making a minor concession to his people rather than hearing them in the spirit of equality and oneness.”

Yes, and to be honest – if the king did start listening and responding in the spirit of equality and oneness, he would not remain king for long – there would be no point.

“The people would take advantage of him you mean, or overthrow him?”

No, we’d come back to the natural state of being, where the very notion of a king is sufficiently absurd to split your sides in full bellied laughter... and once again, your patient forbearance beloved readers, we find ourselves dissolving in laughter – this time led by the narrator of this blog, Theophilus I-be-Merry, who somewhat fails in his task of remaining inconspicuous; but let the walls come tumbling down.

Chumba Wumba looks over his shoulder – which almost stops Theophilus in his tracks, but laughter is infectious even to trolls, and the chandeliers in Theophilus’ office start swaying to and fro as Chumba bellows forth his own spluttering, basso version.

Josh, by this point is looking somewhat indignant – “what’s the point having an editorial team and narrator if they keep butting into the story...” he thinks aloud, as we all do, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Gill has neither the desire nor the need to answer – because Josh almost immediately gets the flipside of this and every other thought – the outbreath to the in... “0=1” he murmurs to himself, and settles back into the narrative, back into story which sees him returning to a world, the same world where he started so many years ago... if you’re willing, that is, to accept that 1,300 years have passed.

He’s sitting in his room watching this beetle flying around, banging into the window. Instead of worrying about helping it get out, or considering it a distraction from all the so much more important things he has to think about and get on with, he allows himself to settle into his breath of the moment – feeling the waves of space and time gently undulating throughout, picking us up, ever so slightly, dropping us down...

A moment passes – or maybe more – tis no matter – and the next thing he knows he’s calling out “Roger, I’m coming,” though he can’t for the life of him work out who Roger is, and or where he might be going.

Now Josh puts down the pen he was holding and does something he almost never normally does – he starts breathing magically, as if his breath is connecting him to the beetle that’s flying around, to the room and the dot dot dot – what is not, between.

It feels – so good, so natural, so completely Now... From a vantage point high on the wall Gill observes Josh holding up his arms, not exactly flapping them, not exactly doing anything at all – but in some way using his arms with his breathing to complete the oneness, the connectedness with nought.

“With nought?” – yes – even now, even here our bbgs have the right to ask questions, to dispute or doubt – but the answer is best received through the breath, through the space between words, the inherent beauty, power and poetry of life itself – the isness of be.

From our perspective, Josh seems to completely mould into the moment and without quite knowing how or what or why or anything for that matter – he seems to melt into the fully present moment – the 27^th if you’re a goblin.

“You mean he dematerialises?” asks Applemac74 from the chatroom.

Difficult to say, for allowing myself to stay in the moment, to breathe Story I see something different unfold, but had I remained shallow of breath and on one side of my life-matter curve – yes – he’d definitely have dematerialised.

“So what do you see?”

Ah, best beloved g-nomer – you know I adhere strictly to the wysiwyg protocol.

“The what?”

“What you see is what you get”. So any readers who are following Josh in breathing are now with him in... whereas those who have remained in I-mind/what matters are able to observe the empty room, and are free to wander around, checking every possible place where he could be hiding, reconsidering every possible explanation for what has just, without a shadow of doubt, happened.

This seems to be a kind of a hundred^th monkey moment – as one by one the many bbgs in the chatrooms switch to 0=1 and allow the isness to reassert its natural primacy over seem. And now the chatrooms are almost empty as one by one our many beloved g-nomers find themselves in continuation of story.

Patricia is still holding out, hoping against hope that something rational will happen, and Bluebottle likewise, but as the ether remains hauntingly quiet, yet charged with moment, they too seem to catch the bug.

Patricia: “What do you think Bluebottle – these guys seem to be onto something.”

Bluebottle: “You know – I’d be the last to admit it – but I’ve a gut feeling that this is for real. What do you say we give it a go?”

Patricia: “I will if you will...”

And the two of them effortlessly join the gentle, barely perceptible 0=1 space of...

Chapter 18 – in which Petra and Magellan invoke dot3 and...

“So that’s it...”

“What do you mean that’s it? You can’t just end there.”

“You know the rules Magellan – I end exactly where the thread breaks. Period.”

“But our team’s working on it – we’re gonna fix the thread and you can continue.”

“No.”

“But we can’t just leave story hanging in the air like that – what on Earth are you thinking of? There’ll be a public outcry.”

“Most undoubtedly – but that, presumably, is what Story itself wants.”

“Story doesn’t want anything of the sort. Story wants resolution.”

“No, that’s what we thought. That’s what we were told – but...”

“But what?”

“But...”

Petra lapses into silence – then quietly utters the unthinkable, with neither fear nor animosity: “dot dot dot”.

Turning white as a sheet, Magellan looks at Petra with blank incredulity. It cannot be – surely she hadn’t said it – “surely I dreamt it” – Magellan thinks to himself, desperately clutching at straws.

“You heard me right,” Petra continues, “I have no choice but to invoke dot₃.”

“You can’t,” Magellan hisses. “You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re mad. Stop it right now, before it’s too late.”

“Too late? Don’t make me laugh. If you think you can prevent the tide of Story breaking over humanity you’re sadly mistaken, Magellan. I have seen her.”

“You can’t have. It’s not possible.”

“I have seen her. I have spoken to Dorothy. The time has come. Story is being released in all its power and glory. I invoke dot₃ – and not a moment too soon.”

“Then it is done. I dare not stand in your way. Be it so.”

“Be it so.”

Petra and Magellan sign the minutes of the meeting and leave the inner sanctum of g-nome portal – the Story Strategy Council, knowing that nothing will ever be the same again.

You might shrug and assume this is just hyperbole – that nothing is ever, in fact, the same again, but there you would be completely mistaken. You see, as long as the Story Strategy Council has been devising story endings for the last few thousand years or more, they have succeeded in ensuring that really nothing changes in our 3D reality.  Oh, we may have had technological breakthroughs, changes of government, minor improvements in our standard of living, but all in all, with the same basic story template we’re not going anywhere. And I’m not referring to whether a story has a happy or sad ending – because neither makes a great difference when all is said and done. No, I’m referring to its imprint – how it stamps and seals reality with its weightiness, for story has become matter of fiction rather than stuff of dreams.

To what end – you might ask, and that is truly the mother of all questions, but not the kind of thing I’m at liberty to discuss with all and any. But trust me, best beloved g-nomers, as soon as you allow yourself to feel what I’m talking about, as opposed to thinking it, you yourself can tune in, can extract whatever it is you require – the essential essence or isness; nought that matters.

There are some, of course, who consider the Story Strategy Council an abomination – that it should never have been set up in the first place. After all, Story is paramount. If humanity is to grow and flourish, it needs must have access to the unvarnished truth – which only raw, unedited Story has to offer as opposed to the storification which is currently being peddled. Presumably, however, this not being so indicates that Story itself has chosen to play this trick upon humanity – in which case – what can we say? We cannot argue with the Source of all sense and meaning – all truth. That would be... [dot dot dot]

“Absurd.”

Yes dear reader. So let us go on a journey into sense and meaning and ascertain what is... [dot dot dot]

“What is what?” one is tempted to ask, but we’ve already gone down that road and have seen it is futile – that it only leads back into I-mind/what matters. No, that mind is unable to serve us on this quest, and so we allow ourselves to accept the three dots – unimaginatively known as dot₃.

“But what does that achieve?”

Ah – do you really believe there is something that needs to be “achieved”. Trust for a moment the isness – that everything perfectly Is – despite what seems to be, despite that which I-mind/what matters would have us think or believe.

“So you want me to just trust blindly that everything’s ok?”

Not in the least. I want you to trust that nothing can be ok as long as we’re constantly engaged in engineering fake endings, fake solutions, none of which come close to the simple truth, the purity, the grace, the beauteous essence of that which simply Is. Period.

“Still it sounds like you’re asking me to take it on trust – to stop thinking, to stop looking for solutions...”

To stop trying to improve on Story. Trust me – it cannot be done. Story is always one step ahead, always able to create whatever needs to be created at exactly the right moment, in just the right way.

“But it’s only Story. What’s Story to people living in the real world, with real problems, real concerns?”

What’s Story? Well, let’s look at your world for a minute – let’s look at the state it’s in.

Here at g-nome portal it’s astonishingly easy to scan any Matrix, any reality, so that’s precisely what we now do. Much in the same way a hacker can look into your computer and see how it’s working, we run a systems analysis of the whole of Earth based 3D reality in about 7.4 seconds. Admittedly, point four is probably giving you more information than required, but that’s the figure that pops up on the screen when it’s complete – so I’m just passing on what I can see.

Ouch! That looks pretty bad. Wars, famine, abuse in every shape and form imaginable, a massive division between rich and poor, environmental, ecological degradation, and the list goes on for half an hour. All in all, a near complete disconnect between Seem and Is.

“That’s what I don’t get...”

No, it’s hardly surprising. The system has been set up flawlessly so it’s almost ungettable. You’re supposed to assume it’s business as normal – that Earth based reality is functioning the only way it can – which is true, up to a point.

“Explain.”

Well, reality cannot function better than the hardware or software it’s using. Nor can it function better than the Story version it’s running.

“What...  you mean that Story’s a kind of computer programme?”

More, much more than a programme.

“Then what?”

Oh dear, every time we come back to the same old “what”. Not what – anything but what. What has been inserted into Story to ensure that Earth based reality runs itself into the brickwall of its own internal contradictions – its own creation.

“But why?”

To be honest “why” is no better than “what”. All of these question words are much of a much.

“Look, I can’t help using words – so if you can’t handle me asking questions then I’ll just...”

There’s nowhere to go to, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It’s over. Believe me. Why do you think the Matrix closed down for 1,300 years when Josh collapsed it?

“Whyever not – if he was stupid enough to collapse it what can you expect?”

If it were healthy and strong, if it were resilient it would have gone down for a few nanoseconds, two or three seconds at most, a minute at the furthest stretch of the wildest imagination, but never 1,300 years.

“Well how am I supposed to know? You’re the one with privileged access to all the information – why don’t you tell me?”

To be honest, I know no more than you do – and if you find that hard to believe let’s run a scan right now to prove it.

 “Ok... Look, how can I be sure that this scan’s telling the truth? Maybe your machines are just giving you the information you want to hear.”

If that were so, the Earth would long since have collapsed under the weight of its own internal contradictions. You see, it’s been haemorrhaging for millennia – though it’s accelerating now as we enter the event horizon. These “machines”, as you call them are what enable g-nome operatives to perform emergency repairs that have kept the ship afloat just long enough to make it to the next commercial break, at which point reality is shut down for several years and we give it a thorough overhaul. If you can’t rely on the analysis that’s the only thing keeping the patient alive for many years now, then why don’t you switch off the artificial respirator and walk out of the emergency ward you’re currently residing in?

“Ok, ok – no need to be belligerent. Look – if you say I have access to the same information as you do – then what do you expect me to say – I’m basically in the dark. I can see everything you’re saying about the world I live in is true – the pollution, the decay, the corruption – but I can’t for the life of me see how the catastrophe can be averted, nor can I tell why the Matrix is coming apart at the seams right now.”

Coming apart at the what?

“Coming apart at the seams. It’s not like the problems are localised to one area – they’re everywhere. Reality’s like a garment that’s now coming apart at the seams. Patching it ain’t going to help.”

Amazing. I knew you could do it.

“Do what? ...I haven’t done anything.”

But don’t you see – “coming apart at the seems” – it was your precise expression.

“No, you spelt that wrong – I said coming apart at the seams, ea, not seems, ee.”

But don’t you see – these words sound the same because at a deeper level they are just that. Now, please don’t allow yourself to think about this – I guarantee I-mind/what matters will mock it and block it – in the same way it mocks and blocks anything that’s fundamentally true.

“It does?”

It has to – otherwise it would make itself redundant. It only has a job as long as you’re stuck in the version of reality where “I mind” and “what matters”. As soon as you revert to Is, to your natural state – it’s out of a job – it reverts back to being a simple logic gate. Quite a loss of status, wouldn’t you say?

“What – the great human mind that has given us nuclear bombs and wireless internet would revert to being a simple logic gate? You’re telling me.”

Actually, the 3D mind did not give you nuclear bombs or wireless internet – all great inventions came through the unconscious connection to the universal Mind – they were downloaded by scientists and inventors in their sleep or in flashes of inspiration, in the same way the works of Shakespeare, Beethoven and all the great artists came from the so called Muse – not the localised mind.

“Ok, point taken. So, what’s the big issue you were making about coming apart at the seams? I don’t quite follow.”

Well, this current reality is a garment which has been worn as long as is physically possible. It’s been stitched and patched countless times. In a sense, we the gnomiki at g-nome portal are equally culpable in all this.

“You are?”

Yes – we felt honour bound to do our best to maintain and preserve it – and it has been our great act of love and service, as well as creative endeavour to make this reality as real as was humanly possible.

“You what...?”

We tried to make it flawless – so you our dear human beings, could have the ultimate reality experience, despite that the fact that it isn’t, technically, real.

“Uh?”

To say it was anything but a Herculean labour would be an understatement – you see the 3D mind that rose to predominance – the I-mind/what matters, has done everything in its power to render this reality inoperative.

“How so? We’ve just been living as normal people live – trying to make the most of things.”

Yes, so there’s no blame involved, but if you’d been able to pause for one moment and scan the contradictions inherent to your way of being – you’d see that they constantly threatened to puncture, to tear, to shred the fabric of reality which is not, in fact, of limitless strength.

“I can’t for the life of me see what you’re getting at.”

Well, there’s this relationship between Seem and Is.

“Seem and Is – that’s not exactly ringing bells in my cerebral cortex.”

No, but the relationship is real enough. You have what seems to be, and you have what is.”

“And what of it?”

Well, if your Seem is +1, but your Is – is in fact -1, then probably you can see that it’s going to cause problems.

“Well, mathematically speaking yes – if they were completely out of alignment like that – it would certainly cause problems. It could lead to inversion.”

Precisely. It’s like wandering around in the fog. You think you’re heading north, but in fact you’re heading south.

“And?”

Well, if there happens to be a precipice ahead of you then it’s going to be problematic if you continue heading south – thinking you’re heading north.

“And?”

Well, in the past we’ve been able to rectify these problems, either by adjusting your course, or by reprogramming reality to bend or remove the precipice, but now, as you can see, we’ve reached the end of the road, so to speak. Reality – at least your 3D version of it, is coming apart at the seems. There’s nothing more that can be done to extend and pretend. We’ve arrived, with you, at the moment of truth – otherwise quaintly known as the “apocalypse”.

“Do you have to get all biblical like that?”

Sorry, can’t be helped – but I wasn’t using the word in the biblical sense – just in terms of its original meaning...

“Which is?”

Which is the ultimate reality check – when the veil is removed and you get to see where, in fact, you’re standing, what you’re wearing, and whatever else Is reveals.

“So the garment that’s coming apart at the seams, irony of ironies, LOL, is seem itself?”

Precisely.

“And that’s good or bad?”

Excellent question. I guess it all depends where you are on the life-matters curve.

“So it can be good or bad.”

Undoubtedly yes, but ultimately, no, it can only Be – and it’s up to you to decide whether “Be” is itself, in essence, good or bad. Those of you who decide that Be is good – end up in such a reality; those who decide to the contrary, end up in a version of reality that takes them back to first principles.

“Back to which first principles?”

Just back to first principles.

“Which are?”

That life is good, fundamentally. That to be, simply to Be, is more than any thing else can ever give you, yield or seem. Until this lesson is learnt the human being – is at war with himself/ herself – for he/ she has failed to grasp the Isness of Be.

“Oh dear – it looks like I’m on the dark side too – as I’ve certainly failed to grasp whatever that might be.”

“Don’t be so sure – it’s pretty hard to completely overrule nature – to persuade yourself completely that “what matters” is of greater importance that “what is”.

Knock. Knock. Guys, I hate to interrupt your conversation about life, the universe and everything else, but we do have a job to do here.

Oh yes, sorry about that Arketron. We’re in fact complete.

“We are?”

Yes, you’ve done it all for me – please don’t assume I’m being facetious.

“But I haven’t done anything?”

If only you knew.

“Well, I probably would know if you’d stop crypticating and start explaining.”

What is there to explain? Petra and Magellan admitted that we’ve been running a manipulated version of Story – let’s call it Story-lite. It looks like Story, quacks like story, waddles like Story, but doesn’t end like Story.

“Er... why not?”

Because Story itself doesn’t end.

“Oh come on – get real.”

Story proper cannot end because any ending violates the universal indeterminacy of 0=1. How can anything end if nothing truly begins – if all is/not.

“Oh come on... things begin and end all the time.”

Correct. Things do. Story doesn’t. The sleight of hand, the trick was to replace being or beings, with being something or being someone.”

“I don’t see what you’ve got against being someone? We can’t just be abstract entities – we have to be someone – male, female, African, Vietnamese, doctor, engineer...”

True. We can be something, and we can be someone – but ultimately in our Isness we have to simply Be – regardless of who or what.

“And?”

Well, no one really noticed the substitution and everyone started to identify with what they were being – and I-mind/what matters assists in this, as does Story-lite, and the end result is what you see today.

“So you’re saying that if we revert to Story as opposed to Story-lite things will be different?”

Er... y-e-s. Not only “will be different” – but simply “are different”.

“How so?”

Because it’s only in this particular version of story that things have gotten so far out of kilter that the snake is trying to bite its own tail. As soon as we reconnect with Story proper, we find ourselves back in the Isness of Be – the main branch of the magical, free flowing, abundant, life giving, never ending quantum stream – and there we are all that we are – and have never been less, despite what Seems to be, and what we fear to be, and what-have-you-not.

“So there’s really nothing to do – no world to save, no mission impossible?”

No, there’s only the boundless delight, the magic of reconnecting with Faery – and coming back through Story into the Isness of Be.

“And what about Dorothy?”

What about her?

“Why were they so afraid of her?”

Who, Petra and Magellan? They too have been playing their parts... just as all of you have – really no differently. Returning to the goddess, to the Mother, to the living stream, to the essence seems like something drastic and direful when you’re caught up in the drama of “what not”.

“Er – you’ve just thrown another terminus incognitus at me.”

You too – what’s with the Latin, hominis?

“No idea – it just slipped out.”

No worries, so the drama of “what not” is the drama of what is not, as opposed to what is. We’ve been so well programmed that we truly believe the drama, and that’s what has ultimately saved us...

“It has? Saved us from what?”

I can’t say.

“Whyever not?”

Because it’s a dot dot dot thing.

“A what?”

A dot dot dot thing. That’s what Petra and Magellan were talking about. Dot₃ is that which simply cannot be verbalised without crashing finity. So, instead of trying to verbalise it, all we need do is tune in – and Dorothy is the fair mistress of the quantum stream, who is happy to assist us if and when we’re ready to revert to Is, to tune in and discover whatever it is that we’ve been working so assiduously to avoid all these years.

“And that’s it?”

Kind of...

“But I don’t get it...”

What don’t you get?

Why we’ve been working so hard to avoid something. Why we choose to enter into this Story-lite and create a kind of anti reality – a reality of anti matter. Why everything has to be so absurdly, mindblowingly complicated...

“No, isn’t that the point. The Mind of your mind designs it that way – so instead of trying to take on this my Mind, wouldn’t it make more sense to say “Ok – I’m ready to know – let’s go.”

“Ok – why not? I’m ready to know. Let’s go!”

Sitting with Master Wu by the lotus lake we observe with complete detachment. Doing so we become aware that everything has a shadow, but the shadow is not of the thing itself, but a notness that creeps up to and hides behind the thing in order to avoid the brilliant light of sun. 

"So technically speaking this isn't my shadow at all..." I mind message Master Wu, and he beams back beatifically. So the moment I come into awareness-acceptance I allow myself to equalise with shadow and watch as the entirety of reality becomes a pulsating energy field.

"Ah..." I think aloud, and feel the presence alongside of someone dear to me beyond words – someone I neither knew existed, nor suspected was present a moment before – who is seated where Master Wu had been. 

"I know you..." I whisper telepathically. 

Her reply comes not from any one point, for she is the balance of all that is beyond my self – and I feel the all that is speaking directly as if she is but its resonating chamber.

"I should hope so," her sweet words interweave time and space and redefine the very fabric of reality, for all is but water rippling against her curving shoreline, which stretches into the distance where sky meets earth, where sea meets land... and wave upon wave runs down and along her length and I am One and she is Nought... "Nerys," I smile and feel the sun breaking from a cloud and filling the sky – the Earth with light.