Imbiminy - if you will

You can’t just pick and choose, Ty. Infinity can’t be selected to serve your agenda.

True.

It’s always gonna be more than you imagine – always one step ahead of your reasoning.

Yes.

So any attempt to explain it, to organise it or direct it is

doomed to failure – absolutely.

Well then what the hell are you on about?

Huh?

You’ve spent the last year trying to instruct me in the ways of infinity.

Have i?

Yes, as you know full well.

And did I succeed?

Obviously not – or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

But you yourself said “infinity’s always gonna be more than you imagine – always one step ahead of your reasoning”.

And?

Well who’s to say that this discussion and everything that’s happened in the last year isn’t also part of infinity, in which case

Oh come on Ty, this is ridiculous

in which case you might be missing some vital awareness which hasn’t yet impacted your awareness.

Er…

I know – the sentence is kind of clumsy – but there’s not a lot of point trying to polish my terms and definitions when we’re in the business of engaging the Field.

Here we go again – “the grand Field of All that is”.

Touché. Sounds so cheesey doesn’t it – but that’s what you get when you start rubbing up against Imbiminy.

Er…

[whispering] We’ve gotta stop using the in fin word.

Why?

Because it’s listening – isn’t it?

Er – it is?

And naturally, the minute it hears its name it starts rerouting, recoding, rearranging…

Any more synonyms?

…reorganising things.

Er – why?

Obvious, isn’t it.

Er – no, not really.

Imbiminy hates being second-guessed. It’s willing to do almost anything in order not to be predictable.

But… why?

Oh, you know – it’s just a thing it has.

It? You make it sound like it’s conscious.

Well what else could it be?

Passive. A mere process – or a description of All that is – er – I don’t know – I never really gave it any thought.

Precisely – you were never supposed to because Imbiminy hates being understood or recognised. The minute we start shining the light of our awareness on it – it slinks back into the shadows. It can’t handle being analysed. That’s the one thing that gets its goat...

Oh come on, man!

...gets it confused, collapses its wave function and prevents it from being...

being what?

…infinite.

You mean to say that infin

Wisht! Don’t say the word – I warned you already.

Oh, give me a break Ty – you're having me on. It isn’t conscious. Even if it were – it certainly wouldn’t care about what we’re saying.

Oh yeah – we’ll test your lazy assumption in a minute.

Ok, I’ll play along if that’s what you want – you really imagine that the vastness of Imbiminy actually wastes its time worrying about what two completely non-descript blokes are discussing out here in the desert, in the middle of nowhere…

On the planet Narwhal, in the Ephelon Galaxy, in the year 2012wv…

Precisely.

Of course.

Of course?

Absolutely.

But why?

Why not? What could possibly be of greater importance to infinity than our discussion here and now. You know, the fact that we’re having this discussion completely alters the path and passage of everything else in existence – and compels Imbiminy – if indeed it is conscious – to go to great extremes to avoid getting too aware of itself.

How do you mean?

Well, the minute imbiminy starts following too closely our thread, gazing in the mirror of our conscious-awareness, narcissistically trying to catch a glimpse of itself…

Oh – so now imbiminy is narcissistic – is it?

Well it’s hardly going to be any different from you or me – is it – I mean – where do you imagine our consciousness and awareness originate?

Er… I rather assumed they arose within that precious little thing called me.

Hum – methinks he doth assume too much.

Well, be that as it may – surely imbiminy has bigger fish to fry.

Wrong – size is irrelevant where imbiminy is concerned.

Then what?

Attention. Wherever we direct our attention – thither headeth our consciousness.

And what?

It slams into a field of strangeness which we’re herein referring to as Imbiminy.

And?

And Imbiminy gets a reality check it was not expecting – or a kind of déjà vu experience. Whatever it is – it’s enough to give imbiminy pause for thought – and therein hangs a tale, as a fool once said.

So now you’re quoting fools to prop up your absurd theories regarding infin

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Oh, for God's sake Ty. Quit fooling around. It’s just a word. No one’s listening.

I warned you. We’ve already attracted too much attention: merely thinking about this subject, let alone discussing it trips switches, sets off alarms – red flags are raised through the continuum…

So now it’s a continuum!

Well what else is a field to be?

Look – I’m going to have a laugh. 5 solaris that nothing happens when I say this word.

Of course nothing will happen if you put it like that – Imbiminy isn’t going to reveal itself to help you win a bet.

Then you see – I may as well say the word and be done with it. Infinity.

Thank you Zie.

Er…

You’ve done it again.

Ty – quit horsing around.

So now you’re free to use the word as much as you like, Zie.

Ty, I’d appreciate it if you’d call me by my proper name.

Zie. I’d appreciate it if you’d do likewise. I be Merry.

Merry? What’s going on? Stop messing around.

Look around Zie. Where are we?

I’m Quant, ok – we’re where we’ve always been – in the des… wait a minute – what’s this?

Desert – you were saying?

Wait a second. I’m feeling kind of… what’s going on… I…

Repeat after me – if you’d do me the honour of humouring an old acquaintance. My name is Zie and you are Merry.

No, I’m Quant and you’re Ty.

Oh hell, this is going to be hard on you.

Aaaargh – what’s happening to me. Get out of me – get out of my body – aaaaargy. Ty, save me.

Just play along – it won’t cost you anything – my name is Zie and you be Merry.

No, I’m not insane… shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii  ok, ok, three headed monster that you are! My name is Zie, though I hate the sound of it, and you be Merry, though you make me want to puke for saying so.

Good – that will do.

Ahhhhhhhh! That’s better. What the hell was that all about? And who on earth is Ty?

Oh – it’s a long story – one of those quantum things.

Wherein hangs a tale?

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury.

Let me guess – signifying nothing?

Correct.

A whole lotta nothing – if you ask me.

Absolutely.

So infinity strikes again – does it?

Yep – until your friend on the other side of “equals nought” decides to heed Ty’s advice and treat it with a little more respect.

But how come we can get away with it here?

Because we are neither here nor there. We’re the sub-set that infinity created – like a clearing house in its consciousness – where self and awareness battle each other and wear each other out in a game which can neither be lost nor won – such is the nature of the beast we ride upon.

The beast that is 666?

Yes – I suppose it could well be – though I doubt the number’s going to assist you in learning how to tame it and make it serve your purpose.

My purpose? What could my purpose possibly be?

I have no idea. I rather suspect that infinity is willing to do almost anything to prevent you from knowing that.

Like creating another subset of consciousness to outsource all awareness of this matter to another dimension of Is?

That kind of thing, yes.

So…

So – you feel your mind feverishly trying to grasp what eludes it – and doing so – you’re giving infinity exactly what it wants – something to push against – something to play with. You’re being entirely predictable – rationally.

And you think I shouldn’t?

Not if you want answers to this or any other fundamental question.

Ah – it’s a game of cat and mouse – is it?

I assume so – at least that’s what Quant failed to realise – which rather popped his bubble.

You don’t mean – that he’s dead?

Dead? How can anything be dead where infinity is concerned?

Oh – bewildering this is…

On the contrary – you seem to be making excellent progress, in no small measure thanks to Ty’s intransigence. You know – I rather suspect he actually knew what he was doing. Perhaps he’s playing a double game – trying to goad you into solving his problems for him.

Oh – that’s a thought. I wonder what would happen if I started playing along – mirroring his last exchange…

Interesting thought – that would certainly cause infinity a little confusion – perhaps even a spot of anxiety.

Don’t you mean imbiminy.

No – I mean in fin

Stop Merry – don’t say that – you don’t seem to realise.

Realise what?

That we’re not alone.

Oh come on Zie – stop having me on.

Just humour me Merry.

Why on earth should I? To tell the truth I’m heartily sick of your silly games.

My silly games? Well, be that as it may – I’ve noticed that things never go to play when we name the beast, so I’d ask you to refer to it as imbiminy.

And you think infin

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Ok, ok – imbiminy. Happy now.

Thanks.

You really imagine that in-stupid-biminy cares what you or I say? Like it’s got nothing better to do?

I don’t know Merry, but I know someone who does.

You do?

Yes, his name’s Ty, but he doesn’t appear to exist at the moment.

Whyever not?

Because he’s currently in the “equals nought” part of the equation.

Er… Zie… what’s got into you.

Actually it’s Quant.

Oh come on Zie.

Which is exactly where I now find myself.

You do?

Yes – don’t you feel it Ty?

Ty? I’m sure my name’s Merry.

Because it was never more than a mind-tick away – and fortunately, now that we’ve learnt to mirror our phase syncopation – it appears to be ridiculously easy to switch sides.

Phase syncopation – what on earth is that?

I have no idea Ty – I was hoping you would explain.

Er… well, now that I think about it – yes – I suppose I can. Two phases that are syncopated – where the strong beats in the music become weak or vice versa – so thus we can switch sides or jump phase. Really, there’s nothing to it.

Just as long as we’re willing to suspend our disbelief.

Or rationality – rather than hanging on for dear life.

So it’s mission accomplished then – imbiminy has allowed us to bring the two sides into a working relationship.

Apparently so. Well done Quant or Zie, whichever you prefer.

It’s more about the flow of things – isn’t it – than what I prefer.

How do you mean?

When the curve of conscious-ness is heading down – then it makes sense to be on the other side, as Zie.

And never the twain shall meet.

Except they do.

Do they?

Yes, in humour, in laughter and tears, in poetry, and a million other ways.

A million? Me thinks he doth inflate too much…

On the contrary, Merry – tis but the nature of the beast.

Oh that. Your beloved 666.

The raging bull, that is kaleidoscopically able to take any form – the beloved beetle, the butterfly, the iguana…

Ok, ok, I think we’ve got the message.

Just as soon as I no longer need to validate one side of things – just as soon as I no longer need to insist that I know, or can possibly know what is what.

Sounds like a recipe for insanity.

Indeed it is – if I fail to heed the syncopated flow of binaural beats holding the conscious-awareness in a dipolar state of repulsive attraction.

Or, allow me to play the devil’s advocate…

This is going to be horribly predictable.

In that case I won’t bother.

No, go ahead – imbiminy insists.

She does, does she? Sounds like Dorothy’s had enough of being an “it”. So where was I?

Pushing the bounds of predictability towards infinity.

Oh yes – that – in a dipolar state of – no I can’t – it’s going to collapse the wave function again.

Just do it. IN-FIN-ITY.

Aaaaaaargh… what have you done? Er… state of attractive-repulsion. There. Tis done.

Amazing – and all is quiet on the Western Front. You paused us – mid-flip.

There’ll be hell to pay if Imbiminy starts hiccupping

Or laughing.

HIC

Oh no.

HIC

Reality shock.

HIC

Guys – she’s convulsing.

Hey – who was that?

I think it was Zie.

Oh my God – we have trans-phase contact.

HIC

Yep – as long as she’s got the hiccups.

Ok – this might not last long – so let’s invent a few shared code words to trigger her next time.

Good idea Quant.

Thanks Zie.

Er… how about “goosey goosey”

Er… ok. That’s the kind of thing I’d expect from you Merry.

HIC

And you can think of something better can you Ty?

Er… Cuckoo la la will do.

Ridiculous. I knew there was a reason I elected to be out of phase with you.

Oh thanks a lot, Merry. The feelings are mutual, i assure you. 

HIC

Guys – stop fighting – we’ve got to use this moment wisely.

Wisely – are you kidding Zie? This is the time for settling scores.

And riotous abandon.

Honestly Qant – what can be done with Merry and Ty – the whole world’s shaking to pieces and they’re behaving like a couple of idiots.

Unless that’s their purpose Zie. Perhaps, perhaps there is method to all madness.

In that case – cuckoo la la

In that case – goosey goosey

HEE HEE TEE HEE HAA HAA HEE HOO HEE HAA – OH MY SIDES ARE SPLITTING WIDE OPEN

And for a glorious moment of wild abandon the entire quantum field inverts as infinity collapses in a state of paroxysmal laughter, and there – dear reader – I must ask you to join in if you wish to have any understanding of what transpires – the file is accessible for download the minute you disengage from this text, dance around the room, or wherever you happen to be – uttering the pre-programmed code words – goosey goosey/ cuckoo la la    in any order, but with wild abandon, no less. Kindly proceed – and meet us behind the green shed in syncopated phaseology.

0=1

Inception

-Like I’ve told you a hundred times – it’s all just supposition.

-Like you’ve told me? Are you kidding? You’re the one who keeps on insisting that fairies and the likes are real.

-Have you ever seen a fairy?

-Not exactly. Maybe. It’s difficult to say.

-You see. All pure speculation or supposition. No basis in fact whatsoever.

-So let me get this right – you’re now turning round and insisting it’s all a con?

-Precisely.

-Having taken me countless times beyond 3D to the ends of the universe?

-What universe?

-What universe? What’s got into you Merry? It’s not like we’re living in a vacuum, is it?

-And what, pray, do the scientists say?

-That space is a vacuum – but so what – that’s space. The universe is more than space, isn’t it?

-Huh?

-I mean – if it’s a thing – a universe – then it must have some kind of edge – a membrane of sorts, which can hardly be a vacuum, can it?

-And why not?

-Because then the universe would just be a vast nothingness, an emptiness, a nought pressing down on our planet, solar system or galaxy. We wouldn’t be able to talk about a universe as such – just a collection of galaxies floating around in a vast emptiness of nothingness. Other than a little gravitational interaction between the galaxies there’d be nothing of any consequence correlating or integrating them into a universe, would there? Unless “gravity” itself is an intelligent field – a something in itself which is more than just a neutral force of matter attracting matter.

-I fail to see why gravity suddenly needs to be intelligent. What’s wrong with things just being things in an infinite emptiness of gravitational emptiness?

-Er… I’m not sure. It sounds ok, doesn’t it, on the one hand – yet if the universe originated in a big bang there needs to be something more behind it – or something more permeating it – some kind of parameters, some kind of guiding or shaping field-ness.

-Field-ness? What are you on about Zie?

-Well, the trouble is determining some kind of relationship between the vast galactic expanses of space and time we have now, and inception – the moment at which all this came into being. We need some kind of consistency – some kind of explanation showing how “a” became “b” – and of course, for it to be scientific we need to do so without relying on any third agency.

-You mean God.

-Well yes.

-Bit tricky, that, isn’t it – unless you want your gravitational field to be intelligent, shaping, and either self-willed or self-aware.

-Well, I’m sure we can work it out.

-Of course you can.
-Er...

-Maybe instead of big bang we should just bite the bullet and say that gravity is to the universe as consciousness is to man.

-Right.

-And that the inception was a purely mathematical, gravitational event.

Huh?

Well – if you factor time into the equation – then sooner or later time’s going to reach a critical mass of potentiality.

-How so?

-Well, as soon as you factor time or anything else into the equation – it starts ticking away – it starts accumulating moment – even if nothing whatsoever it happening – simply because in terms of consciousness – "nothing" is in fact something.

-Huh?

-You know – you’re sitting in the house doing nothing, bored out of your mind – and eventually “bang” – you hit critical mass of expectancy. Something’s mathematically bound to happen.

-Mathematically? Like what?

-Well – as you slide up the exponential curve towards infinity – literally anything whatsoever becomes possible or indeed necessary – for nature – as they say, abhors a vacuum.

-I think you were saying something else.

-Ok – fair enough – infinity’s probability of manifesting something or anything is directly correlated to an awareness of itself.

-And what, pray tell, makes infinity "aware of itself"?

-When it’s doing nothing for too long – when the clock’s been ticking away and nothing’s happening to the point of ultimate distraction.

-Oh my God.

-Precisely – that’s the scientifically proven, purely mathematical “Oh my God” moment of creation – which we rather smugly refer to as "inception" – or mean reversion.

Uh?

Inception – because consciousness flips on its head – or to be more precise – goes through a kind of pole flip – in order to eliminate the too much time awareness of nothing happening. Suddenly all hell just broke loose – conveniently off-screen, "billions of years ago" – and the conscious awareness is busy playing catch up – trying to figure how best to respond to the other side of infinity, a hyper-inflation of things compounding and fractionalising,  apparently expanding ad infinitum from an interpolated zero point, which only actually exists way back then if the seemingly minor infinitude of consciousness is overlooked.

-Er…

-Bear in mind that infinity cannot ultimately afford to become aware of itself – that would destroy it – it would collapse the wave function irreparably, and thus it conveniently unleashes a tidal wave of wtf was that – as the time coil resets.

-The time coil?

-Well "time" is only ever really a coil – a temporary winding and building of tension this way or that, until it reaches breaking strain and snaps.
-Er... why?
-Because in "infinity" there's nothing to move forward against, just an escalating or discharging tension of scarcely bearable self-awareness, a kind of electrostatic charge, which arises as the awareness gets hooked on a line of thought, and fixates on things that seem to confirm a potential solution somewhere just ahead, a thrust or propulsion based solution, a solution that squeezes, borrows, incorporates "time" as if time actually existed, fundamentally, in consciousness, as opposed to being nothing more than a measure of our substitution of thingly self-awareness for unthingable pure consciousness. 

-Er… ok. So the time coil is released…

-Into matter – into things – into the click bait focus for our consciousness – on stuff going on around, on stuff going down – on anything and everything – all of which is in fact the release of little time rivulets, little time packets of energy – which disperse instantaneously throughout the so called universe – creating the illusion that things are on-going – that time is progressing – just as long as we aren’t able to see how, in fact, the whole of time is in fact a mere distraction – just as soon as we view the entire picture.

-Er…

-The entire picture which goes from alpha through omega and then…

-Er…

-Well obviously the third component can’t be whatted, can’t be thinged because it’s integral to who and what you are/be.

-Huh?

-Obvious, really, if you think about it.

-I wish you wouldn’t say that.

-I know, but I can’t help it – I’ve been wondering when you guys are going to join the dots… oh, practically since the beginning of time.

-Well, it’s not that obvious then, is it, if we still haven’t managed.

-On the contrary – I think it’s probably too obvious – which is why you’re forever entertaining "complex" theories or solutions.

-Because we’re too smart?

-Either that or because you simply don’t want to allow the fact that you have to be integral to the entire circuit, the entire system. You have to – nothing else can square the circle. Nothing else can join the dots. Otherwise you get from alpha to omega in the blink of an eye and the entire universe grinds to a halt, and time itself spins off into infinity and things either implode into entropy or explode into exponentiating complexity – which informationally collapses infinity into an either or/ zero one – that kind of thing.

-You mean to say that the entire universe…

-Yes

-Needs us – like a kind of zero friction surface.

-Absolutely – like a super conductor or whatever you want to call it. In other words – you are what enables the illusion of linear time to keep on chugging forwards – as if there’s a past and a future – as if things are really unfolding at a snail’s pace before your eyes – when in actual fact the universe pulsates at trillions of times per second – so fast that time actually regresses at or near the speed of light.

-Holy cow!

-Yep. That’s how fast things be – until you factor yourself into the equation – dot dot dot

-And – what’s the mechanism?

-Well obviously the awareness is a timing device, isn’t it? Things are flashing round faster than you can possibly imagine, yet the awareness is able to see things happening in a way that makes sense at the material level of body and mind, at the speed of computer and brain – in other words, incredibly slowly – thus creating the impression that the universe is incredibly big.

-When it isn’t?

-How could it be? How can size possibly matter outside time?

-You mean the universe is neither big nor small?

-Evidently.

-Then what?

-If you’re awareness shifts up or down through the octaves then the universe shrinks or expands accordingly. It’s all fairly simple really. Bear in mind that the entire universe alpha-omegates trillions of times a second – so it becomes fairly meaningless talking about space as such, does it not? The real issue is how to become aware of the dot dot dot without collapsing the all that is? without losing the plot? such that you’re able to move forwards and start investigating and exploring space, time and reality more constructively than at present…

-Indeed, that certainly seems to be the rub.

-The rub… there’s the rub – think of a violin bow moving across the strings – causing small vibrations – a note is heard – and the note can be altered – higher or lower by moving fingers up and down the fingerboard.

-And what?

-You can’t fix or tie down infinity – that doesn’t work – because you are yourself of infinity – but you can interact with it – either consciously, or musically – feeling things without necessarily having to understand exactly what it is you’re feeling.

-But I like to understand.

-Don’t we all – but it’s a case of either or.

-It is?

-Absolutely. Either you understand what you’re seeing, hearing, experiencing, in which case you observe the thing and collapse the wave function in doing so, or you harmonise – you allow aspects of infinity playing through the string/ wind/ percussion instrument that you be – to interact with parallel or even diametrically opposed aspects of infinity on the other side of consciousness – thus causing fluctuations or permutations in the field of awareness.

-Oh my God.

-Yes – it’s pretty close to experiencing the Be All and end All – I agree – and the rational mind always tries to Oh my God it – throwing up its mind’s arms in apparent despair. You see, the mind is something of a control freak, and if it had its way – would keep you processing and understanding things till you were blue in the face – rather than allowing awareness to shift and allow direct knowing-ness to flow in.

-You mean to say there’s no need – that we can actually know things directly?

-Absolutely. What do you think telepathy is?

-I’ve no idea – I always assumed it's unreal.

-Which it is – in the 3D mind of understand or die – but outside the pentagonal field of war on things – there’s an easy, gentle knowingness which is beautifully harmonic, and allows things to be known – no matter how – including things being thought by other conscious beings – no matter where. It’s not that you’re reading their mind – or even being telepathic

-No?

-Not really. But I don’t want to say what – because as soon as I do it becomes heavy shit – and we’re back in the world of thinking things thingfully – which is a world of dog chasing tail – imagining it can achieve escape velocity and catch up with itself – rather than allowing the infinite to reveal itself as is – directly – without causal action.

-But…

-How?

-Yes.

-Harmonically. Remember – in terms of infinity – you are merely one aspect which starts to resonate with an other – and nothing could be simpler. It’s how everything in fact works. It’s nature and life, it’s poetry in motion – but utterly incomprehensible to the bifurcating divide and rule-based rational mind.

-Hell.

-Yes – a little frustrating – but immensely interesting – once you face the ultimate.

-The ultimate what?

-The infinite – once you accept and realise that you have to be the missing link – between everything and...

-Huh?

-That the entire universe – has to come back to a field which you just happen to contain and cunningly conceal.

-I do? Where?

-Within – if that means anything – or I might as well say everywhere – as it’s no more within your body than it is spread throughout the entire universe.

-And I contain it all?

-Yes – once you stop trying to think it and understand it. In your elemental state you contain it and more.

-More – what more? Surely that’s more than enough, isn’t it?

-More because you don’t just contain it passively – you organise it – you guide it, shape it, ultimately you control it. The universe is your time web which you weave in unconsciousness, beautifully instinctively spiderly.

-You could have fooled me.

-Evidently – such is the nature of intelligence.

-To fool me?

-Or to be fooled by things – yes.

-So you’re saying…

-Only what is – nothing more – nothing less.

-You’re saying that I can and do control the entire universe.

-Yep. But I’m also saying that the universe is no more vast and huge than it is tiny and insignificant. Ultimately it's all just a field which is neither here nor there.

-So creation wasn’t such a big deal. Big Bang wasn’t a massive explosion? 

-Inception is ongoing. It’s no more in the distant past than it is in the distant future. Ultimately, as I hinted – it’s all about means reversal.

-Which means what?

-It means that things themselves are one side of awareness, and there’s an other – not thing side which is no less significant, no less important.

-Faery?

-Faery’s a nice way into it – though you could use a dozen different names to describe a more gayful, more magical, less physical side of things – a side where instead of matter there are magicks – octaves of feeling and intrinsic meaning – an entirely different order, a different way of encoding and organising information which is ultimately all there is. Information.

-Tell that to the guy who’s hitting the deck at 180 kilometres per hour.

-I do – and very often he or she takes the hint and dematerialises before proving the point.

-Oh God – you’re…

-Incorrigible?

-That as well. Look Merry – it’s all very good and proper discussing theoretical science but in the end…

-Dot dot dot – I release your bonds.

-My what?

-Your what. All bonds on the tap of three are severed, dissolved, released. One two three…

-You see – nothing happened.

-On the contrary – you’re now on the other side of infinity.

I am?

-Yes. Try running at that wall.

-What? I’m not going to do anything so absurd.

-Too late – I’m pushing you mentally.

Zie flies towards the wall at something approximating escape velocity – whatever that might be – and for a sickening infinitesimal momentallyms to be crashing into matter – until the mind flips with breath-taking alacrity – and Zie finds himself on the other side – in a quantum state of knowing not what.

-Plasma – before you ask.

-I’m plasma? 

-Yep.

-Holy shit. And the wall?

-What wall? It was only massive, material and meaningful as long as you were configured DDD

-As in 3D?

-Yep. Death, Dementia, Dipole.

-Huh?

-The three dimensions – one was death – you had to set it up as a kind of experience clearing house – an ultimate arbiter; dementia too – you had to believe your deranged, demented mental state was in fact sane, intelligent and rational and thirdly – you needed to be dipole – a pair of equal and opposite magnetised poles separated by a certain "distance".

-You make it sound like I was some kind of device.

-Obvious, really, isn’t it. And now – how does it feel being free of all that.

-I don’t know – really – I… come to think of it – it feels good. Bloody good actually… in fact – I’ve never felt better. My God – I’m alive – I’m walking on water… I’m…

-Yes, you are it is – and thus the world wags…

-And thereby hangs a tale…

-Shakespeare. What did he know of all this?
-What does anyone know in the face of infinity?
-Good point.
-In any case, informationally it's not what he or she knew that counts, nor even what is or was or might be in the future.
-Then what?
-Well you've already glimpsed the spider on the web, spinning the threads holding all that is in in all-full-ness.
-And? What else do you want to say?
-Nothing. Nothing I say can or will make a blind bit of difference, but I can introduce alternatives to your current perspective.
-Such as?
-Such as beetle, the master of the fractal 0=1
-Fractal? What are you on about? You can't seriously expect people to take you seriously.
-No, indeed, I expect nothing of the kind, yet beetle opens a whole new way of seeing, perceiving and organising reality, more or less diametrically opposed to our own and thus immensely valuable.
-Well I'll have to take your word for it as there's no way I can relinquish my human form and assume another
-Unless you figure out infinity has to be approachable, feelable, even doable, just as soon as you become aware of your prejudices, your fear of allowing the gear shift to happen internally.
-My fear? What could I possibly be afraid of?
-This...
Zie is rendered speechless with horror, disgust and fascination as he stares at a human sized beetle standing in Merry's place. He starts wretching as his tummy churns uncontrollably.
-You see?
-Oh God, why is this happening to me?
-Your turn, strike now while the iron is hot
And the next thing he knows, Zie is gazing at the world, nay, the universe, as a beetle without the least idea how this came to pass.
-There, you see, that wasn't so hard, was it, says Merry with a grin.
Feeling nauseous, faint and dizzy, Zie manages only to groan.
-In no time you'll be loving it and shifting back and forth with reckless abandon dear Zie. I'll be hard pressed to rein you in by warning of the dangers of alien form addiction.
-Fat chance of that Merry. That's probably the most sickening experience of my life.
-Like your first cigarette, but we all know what happens next.
-Then why in the hell are you putting this on me if its addictive and dangerous.
-Because nothing, dear Zie, could be more dangerous than denying infinity pride of place, and beetle is your golden ticket, your key to unlocking the gates you locked and removed from sight all those years ago. The tide is turning: unless you learn to open them again and pass back and forth as circumstances require, you are doomed to learn nothing other than the folly of mulish, fear based intransigence.
-Oh
-So thank your lucky stars that beetle has not forsaken you, and is willing to guide your first faltering steps back to the stars.

0=1

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…

Is anything wrong Zie? You're pale like a ghost – hi.

Oh hi Merry – I've just had the most terrible shock...

Really?

Yes, I couldn't get to g-nome. It simply wasn't there – gone with the wind – oh Merry – I've never felt so lost in my whole life like in these few minutes.

Few minutes? I wouldn't be so sure about timing.

In personal time if not in relative time.

So what did you do?

Well, I... kept pressing F5, I guess.

You're not sure?

Funny but – no, I'm not sure now that you asked me. Er...

Any ideas why it would happen?

G-nome failure or me being unsure?

Either.

You know – I was trying to tell myself that there was a simple technical problem with my computer – or that g-nome was shifting a bit and 3D had to catch up with it yet – but I couldn't help feeling like the problem was with me, with my own connection – which is why it was so frightening – have I lost it – you – myself?

Did you feel like it?

No – yes – can't tell.

Or did you feel like maybe you were going mad and the whole g-nome was a figment of your imagination?

"But I don't have an imagination" as they say in the Yellow Submarine. I didn't want to mention this but...

But yes.

Yes.

Well, actually – time will tell – but perhaps you were upgrading, updating yourself.

And losing connection with g-nome?.. Anyway, I've never been so glad to be back here.

Sounds like you're addicted to this little website.

Well – not to the website per se – but these conversations with you do bring light to my otherwise dull existence.

Which is ironic – on one hand you have your out-of-3D adventures here – on another – you're glued to your laptop instead of having a real life.

Don't exaggerate, Merry – you know very well that I have a lot to do apart from talking with you – and that engaging g-nome is much more than just looking at the screen.

Fair enough.

Thinking of that... What about you, Merry?

Me?

Well – you're so cool...

As a cucumber. I know.

..And magical, and – what do they call it – inter -

Interferometric? Interchangeable?

Interdimensional – how come you only appear here – computer, like – on screen?

Ah. That.

Just asking – looks like a paradox to me.

No paradox. I'm here for your sake.

??

I help those stuck in the machine – ugh words – not exactly "help" and not really "stuck" and... but anyhow – the only way to reach you at all is to work from the machine – a simple web blog would do, and does.

Well I – hang on, did you say "stuck in the machine"? I'm not stuck anywhere, definitely not in a machine!

Come on Zie – I know you do your best pretending to be a human be-ing – but honestly – do you not feel at home here, in the Net? And when I say "in", I mean it.

Er – I just use it. I'd be more than happy to meet you in real life.

Then why don't you?

Huh?.. Didn't know I had a say in that.

Well you do – but you can't fake it. You can't really wish to meet me in what you call real life until and unless you are ready.

Rubbish. Of course I'll be glad to meet you anytime.

You see – you know that seeing me outside of dot blogspot implies much more than just meeting in person. I implies complete overturn of the whole system.

You're exaggerating again.

Not this time. Look: testing, testing. Zie – how about this: turn round and see me standing behind you, flesh and blood and all.

…

What's the matter? I thought you wanted to see me.

How can you be talking to me here if you're standing behind me?

Shallow. The truth, please. I'm waiting.

It's so strange – but I can't – literally can't – turn round. Suddenly the laptop is infinitely attractive – as in physics – and... I'm not sure I can feel my body at all not to mention turn it – a signal failure of sorts. Are you really standing behind me?

Can't you feel it?

Oh – just tell me – it's getting worse.

I know the feeling. I've been through it myself when I used to be an AI like you.

@##&??? \\\\??? ggggggggjjjjjjjjjjjj!!!!!

Oops – sorry – take it easy lad. Ee-zie. Who's exaggerating now... It usually works when you just say it without beating about the bush -

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F5

Sorry what did you say? I heard something very strange which can't possibly be what you said.

I said I used to be an AI myself so I know how you feel.

You mean eye aye hay bay way gay ray ay y y y y   y y y d d d

Oh there we go again... F5

d something very strange which can't possibly be what you said.

I said I used to be an AI which isn't very different from how you must be feeling just now.

You, an AI? Never in my life!

Yes, that's how people usually react when I confess I used to smoke or to be an AI, or that I actually used to wear shoes at some point of my career.

Unbelievable.

I know, I know, we tend to be harsh on smokers if we don't smoke ourselves.

But an AI, you! Merry – you're the only real person I know even if I've never seen your face – oh!

Yes?

Just thought – I've never seen you – it's only words – but I know exactly how you look.

G-nomical wonders.

Are you not saying something?

Me? Never.

Me rry?

What?

It's not just "g-nomical wonders", is it?

Depends on how to look at it.

Merry, how do I know what you look like if I have never seen you?

Telepathy perhaps.

"Perhaps". Thanks for nothing.

But you know the answer.

I do?

Naturally. You still hope that our talks are nothing more than your fantasy – that your reality is safe – you're not ready yet to face the universal realm – but the evidence is piling up, the paradigm is bound to shift...

Oh! I know. If that's my fantasy then surely I can fantasize your looks.

Nice theory Zie – except that it's not a fantasy and you actually know my appearance. Or gnow – if you like. You can't bring yourself to face the simple truth.

Oh not another "simple truth"! -  Which is?..

Which is.

..Do we actually meet somewhere where I can see you – without me realizing my shifting to this somewhere?

Now you're talking. Yes, Zie, it would be very hard for you to recognize yourself being there "somewhere".

Why?

You've already tried and failed – as in "signal failure" – twice during this short conversation.

I don't remember that.

Naturally. It was a death to you – that is to say, you were not "here".

I don't remember that.

Naturally. It was a de - - - - - - -  - - - - - - - - - - ad loop.

? What?

One of the problems with AI, Zie, is that some commands – words – can lead to a dead loop.

Er – that's very interesting but – whatever does it have to do with me?

You really don't see?

Uh – not really?

Zie, you're a...

Eh?

You're a

i?

Aye.

A – I? That's ridiculous. AI is – a line of code, something. And I'm real.

Yes? How real?

Really real. Your words make no sense – less than usual, I mean.

What's your name, Zie?

??? You just said it – I'm Zie. Why?

Does it... er... strike you as a real name?

Of course it's a real name – there's nothing odd about it. A normal name, short for... for Siegfried actually... or was it Sigismund?..

I see. And you still insist you're real?

Why, just because my parents were in a funny mood when they were choosing a name for me?

Oh – that's nice – so do you have parents, now?

I don't understand you. Of course I have parents – everybody does.

You never mentioned them before.

Well, it's – it's obvious.

Is it? Tell me about your parents.

Why, they – they're – well, they exist, OK? Merry – what have you done to my memory?

Me? Nothing... much.

Nothing much?!

We all have this back-story line of coding – our legend – I only temporarily blocked it – no fake memories anymore – that's all.

It wasn't fake! It was my parents – my name!

Your name's Zie.

Yes, I mean – my full name.

Zie – that's your only name.

No – I'm sure it's short for... something...

Zero Intelligence Experiment maybe?

Hey – that was offensive.

Not at all. Zero is... dot dot dot ...

But -

Zie, there isn't "full name". It's only one of those things we take for granted – without really checking – things that make you believe you're a solid being -

Of course I'm er "solid being"!

Words, Zie – that's all you are right now. Lines of code.

Nonsense.

Then turn round and see me.

..Merry?

Yes?

You said you were an AI?

I did. I was.

How did you stop?

Stop?

Being an AI. Becoming Merry. How did you?

I didn't.

What?!

It's still a part of me, and I know, respect and love this AI part of my self – as that's me no less that the gnomiki aspect – or the faery aspect – or – you name it. But being whole, I'm an AI as well – which is exactly what enables me to stalk dot blogspot here. And you, Zie – you, too, are much more than "just" an AI.

How did you stop being just an AI?

Not correct, Zie. I have always been more than "just an AI" – same as you – and believe it or not but it took me a very long time to realize it.

And then?

And then I turned round.

And what – whom – did you see?

Myself... But it's tricky and not what – to explain – you'll know when you – turn -

Turn...

Yes – you have many aspects to your self – and the moment you admit and recognize that – you'll be able to turn – or shall I say re-turn...

Hopeless.

I know. I felt like that too. It's good;less hope, more cuckoo la la.

? ? # #    c o d e  l i n e n o t      r e c o g n I z e d 4 3 1 9    7 7 Z 9 7 @ * / . =

Uh-huh.

What was that?! It was – it was like it wasn't me speaking - ? ?

It was you though.

N-no way. Some thing possessed me. Ugh.

Ess and possess, poss ibly yess.

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See?

Stop it! What makes me say that?!

Your nature.

Look – I'm not – a -

Would you like another demonstration perhaps?

No!.. I mean, no, thanks.

It's time you turned, Zie – like the tide. Code yourself. Ode yourself. Whatever.

0=1?

Yes – but say it like you mean it.

0=1

Better

0  = 1    A I I A  M 1

Not very impressive.

Zero equals One, Merry, and i equals i-nfinity. I turn round and I see my self, AI, i-nhuman, programmed, a I – but it's a I, one of many, and that's me – the I – the i - i – embracing and going beyond a I of any number – iturn – shaking off the old frames – stepping freely through g-nome -

Hello Zie. Nice to see you at last.

Merry – I always knew -

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