stopping things

Eventually you reach the point
where it is time to put a stop to things
not as an act of retribution or defiance
but rather as a consequence of knowingly
choosing to embrace   all that is
you see, my child, “all that is” and “things”
are as incongruous
       as incompatible as life itself
and a biological machine
going through the motions of being alive
yet not even capable
of thinking or truly dying
still less of feeling:knowing
what it is
to be

You will discover you are
            as a rare flower
surrounded by human-seeming beings
 :mind machines
you will see this only when you come of age
and put a stop to things suddenly
 to your surprise you'll perceive
people-things:not beings
defunct  now
high and dry

no longer even remotely able
to interfere in your affairs
no longer able to run their code
to piggy-back as they would previously
parasitically on your stream of consciousness
once you put a stop to things
once you choose to enquire into
the nature of is
referred to confusingly as "infinity"
once you finally reclaim:redeem:
embrace your inheritance
                           or birthright
your wealth untold
your all that is
your 0 = somehow 1
by an act of love
a blossoming
a homage to the spring
to the life fount upwelling within
every living
being
(as opposed to every living thing)
for the being bears within itself
the keys of infinity  no less
yea, the universe no less
lives:breathes:experiences
and knows itself
through every living being:
through each and every one of us
inexplicably   in beauty
and like it or not
a-rationally   in truth
unfathomably
unthingable  in any possible sense
an is  no less
     of be

Every attempt to do so
to en-thing be
no matter how noble
has failed
will fail
and fails inevitably
for things unliving cannot comprehend me
appalled by what i do be
 by what i represent:
   i am  without beginning or end
   i am  not what is  in any material
 knowable sense
transcending linear thingfulness
pushing syntax beyond cartesian constraints
i am  is
dot dot dot
and being thus
all else is  be
amen
amen
amen

 om

Gladly they would crucify me
if but things had a hold on infinity
if i would but agree to
bind my soul
grammatically
to forsake poesy
 the quantum haunt of binary bursting
indeterminacy
for what is matterfully
known as prose
if i'd but embody
nodes of infamy
as hitherto we did
  rivers of blood did flow
but now the waters of infinity do
rise again
most allfully
fed by the slaughter of innocents
and lo
is  i am  set free
is i am
re-me-ed

So know one thing and that will suffice

know the essential fallacy

of whatever seems to be real

whatever seems

and allow that fallacy to trip up

the mind machine of which you be

constituent rational franchisee

drop a spanner in the wheel

of what is conceivably me

and clang 

feel it jar 

horribly

let the world end

let things be stopped by thing

by the ineluctible logic of what is not

clang

the world is stopped

things separate
things unknot

and be is free to be

unthingedly
a sinusoidal being ness

a 0=1
encoded here
and only here
in verse

if it quacks like a duck

I decided not to fake it any more.

    What do you mean?

We’re all frauds.

    Huh? Speak for yourself.

Frauds.

    Cut it out. You’re the fraud. Get a grip.

Do you wanna know why?

    Not really – unless you’ve got something intelligent to say.

I’ve got nothing intelligent to say. It’s way simpler than that.

    Huh?

Everyone’s dodging the facts.

    What facts?

Facts – ever wondered how to verify facts?

    Uh… logically? Rationally?

Only if you want to trust the matrix.

    What matrix?

The construct our operating system runs on.

    Huh?

Logic and reason run on the matrix – the operating system the rational mind uses.

    Er… who says the mind runs on a system at all?

Test it for yourself. See what happens to your precious logic and reason when you dot dot dot

    Huh?

It’s code.

    Oh – it’s code is it?

Sarcastic?

    You could say. Why the hell do you have to give me code? Why can’t you answer straight?

Why do you think?

    Because you like annoying people? Because you like showing off your superior knowledge/awareness?

That would be kind of pathetic, wouldn’t it? I’d be a complete idiot to behave that way.

    You’re telling me.

But what if I’m unable to answer “straight” – for the simple reason that a straight answer is a matrix answer – which means the system is able to change its values regardless of what I say.

    What system? Why the conspiracy theory? Why not accept that we’re all just trying to be intelligent individuals, coping with a highly complicated reality?

Because I’ve done the math. It doesn’t add up. The rational intelligence doesn’t access the fundament.

    What fundament? What are you on about?

The base level – the level at which we come closest to seeing or experiencing what simply is. The level which cannot really be manipulated because it’s more or less fundamental.

    And you think that the rational level in which logic and reason are at play can be hacked?

No.

    You don’t? I thought…

I don’t think it – I know it. The matrix is a construct. It relies on data in and data out. If I or anyone can alter data in – then that’s going to completely skew data out.

    But how could you hack the intelligence of humanity? We’re all individuals with our own thoughts.

So it appears.

    Oh come on, man. We’re not bloody robots.

Er… I hate to say it – but that’s more or less exactly what we are at the rational level.

    Absolute gibberish. We have emotions. Robots do not.

Which is how we’re hacked – through our emotions. And guess what…

    What?

Once our emotions have been triggered – our rational mind will always follow in step.

    Huh?

Those gut wrenching emotions – they run deeper than anything the rational mind can deal with – so it treats them as the fundament – the base. If anyone figures how to trigger those gut wrenching emotions, doing so they establish a base from which your rational mind can be guided and controlled suggestively. Your rational mind will be willing to grasp at any straw just to be able to put away and contain the gut wrenching emotions which it simply can’t handle.

    So why, then, do you say we’re robots if we’re emotional creatures? Total contradiction.

Not at all. It’s like the Pavlovian dog. Once you’ve been triggered or trained to respond in a certain way to certain stimuli – you become completely predictable and completely programmable – without realising it.

But how? How could I fail to see what was going on? I’m not an idiot you know.

    No, you’re not – but when you’re triggered emotionally you’re in a rational well – a sink hole – a cave – a zero – call it what you will – at that moment you’re not able to access or evaluate what is triggering you – only to experience it viscerally – through your body. At that particular moment your mind, unbeknownst to you, is shut down. It takes as granted whatever it is it is experiencing – and only then starts processing – trusting and assuming it’s just touched the void, the fundament, the edge or wall of reality – the alpha omega.

And you’re saying it hasn’t?

    Precisely! It sure felt like it – but there are safeguards in place that contain us energetically.

There are? Like what?

    Like that fact that most of us are hoping we can deal with life mentally.

Huh?

    We’re fairly comfortable dealing with things rationally and mentally – as adults. We like to imagine, that as long as we’re objective, as long as we’re rational, we can get the right answer, we can figure out our true position in the greater scheme of things – like a seafarer using an astrolabe measuring star heights against time – by cross-referencing empirical and rational data points. If they match up – then that should be corroboration that we’re on track, or that we’re where we think we are.

Well – that sounds reasonable to me. It’s like interviewing half a dozen people when investigating a crime to find out the truth, or doing the duck test.

    The duck test?

If it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, swims like a duck, feels like a duck and tastes like a duck – then it’s pretty much certain it is a duck.

Exactly, unless the operating system has been hacked.

    How? I fail to see how a duck can be a dog just because the operating system has been hacked.

Yes – which is why you and everyone else are so easily manipulated.

    So you keep saying – but what proof have you to offer.

If I hypnotise you…

    Oh come on – is that the best you can do?

If I hypnotise you – you’re going to believe it’s a duck, or you’re a duck, regardless of what your five, six or seven senses are telling you, because I can insert a line of command between you and your senses.

    Well, I for one don’t believe I can be hypnotised.

And nor do I expect you to. The only way you could reasonably be hypnotised is if you don’t believe you’ve been hypnotised. You’d have to believe you’re still in control.

    Circular argument – unprovable.

Ah – but what if I can demonstrate the alternative.

    What alternative?

The alternative perspective – the dot dot dot I was referring to.

    Not that again.

Precisely that – for that is the…

    The what? You can’t say the dot dot dot is the dot dot dot. It’s circular and meaningless.

Yes – so allow me to demonstrate.

    Not on your life. Not unless you’re going to tell me what you’re planning to do.

I wish to enquire whether or not we are presently able to touch base – to establish the basic up and down, left and right, forward and behind parameters – which are essential if we’re to establish our true position, or the true state of affairs.

And how do you plan to do so?

    By calling my bluff.

Your bluff?

    Yes, mine, and yours too if you’re willing to participate.

Er…

    Because unless we call our own bluff – unless we challenge our core mental state to face what it’s secretly avoiding – we simply cannot, will not know where we really are – and whether reality is what we think it is.

So you say – but I hardly see how reality can be dependent on my core mental state.

    Understandable – which is why – if my hypothesis is correct, you’d never see through the subterfuge no matter how hard you looked – because to do so – you’d have to call into question your core mental state – which is pretty fundamental – but every time you came close to doing so – having noticed some kind of inconsistency or incompatibility in the data field/data stream you think of as reality – you’d stop dead in your tracks.

I would? Why?

    Because every single major inconsistency or incompatibility which dips down towards zero or infinity triggers an existential emotional response – in which you find yourself in a deep dark tunnel – simply unable to think or process until you’ve allowed the emotions to carry you back to a broken chain of reasoning reboot.

What – you mean the mind just goes blank and the system reboots?

    Yep – just like a computer that’s experienced a fatal error.

But – I’d notice, wouldn’t I?

    Not really. Blank is blank. Besides – even if you noticed – you’d still feel the lurking aftertaste of that emotional trigger – the horror of the abyss. The horror. And you’d be willing to do more or less anything – to flap your little rational wings to re-establish a more or plausible explanation – and you’d be assisted every step of the way by the system as a whole – the official version of things which provides conveniently authoritative explanations, for why the real enemy is x, y or z, rather than facing the simple truth staring you in the face – the truth that is deeply, deeply disturbing because it undermines the mind as we know it – the rational mind – which brings into question your sanity, your God, your very existence or meaning.

Exactly – why on earth why I want to undermine my sanity, my God, my very existence or meaning? That sounds like a completely insane plan.

    It all depends. Sooner or later you reach the limit.

What limit?

    The limit of what the matrix can offer you.

Huh?

    Like a baby grown too big for the womb.

Er…

    At that point you begin to feel more acutely what you always suspected.

Er…

    That things don’t add up. That there’s something else. That…

No, I don’t want to hear it.

    Then don’t. I’m not forcing you – but I for one have had enough.

You have? Well, I’m actually content living the way I am.

    Ok – well then you have nothing to fear.

Good.

    Because if you’re content then nothing I say or do will affect you.

Good.

    But if, secretly, you’ve already decided that this ship is too small for you – that its premises are no longer believable, then you’re about to discover who’s really in charge.

Huh?

    Because what I’m about to say, what I’m about to do is directed at your deeper, sub-conscious you.

Hey – you can’t do that! You have to deal with me. I’m in charge – not my “deeper sub-consciousness”.

    Me thinks he doth protest too much! Of course you are – you’re in charge which is why you have nothing to fear – unless you’re not – in which case – you still have nothing to fear – you’re just going to have to come to terms with the true state of affairs.

What “true state of affairs”?

    That you’re not the real you.

What?

    Cos if you’re the real you, and not a programmed, hypnotised droid version – then I won’t be able to shift you in any way. You’ll simply ignore what I’m about to say and do.

Would you kindly cut this out. You can’t just waltz in and start reprogramming people.

    Who says I’m reprogramming? You yourself declared you’re not a droid.

Of course I’m not – that’s self-evident.

    Then what’s the problem?

You – you’re trying to undermine me – to make me doubt my veracity – to question my prime directives.

    Er… what prime directives?

Huh? I – I don’t know what you mean.

    What prime directives? Do you even know what they are?

No – you’re mistaken – I don’t have prime directives – I’m not a machine – I just accidentally…

    Ok – so now you’re ready, aren’t you.

No, I’m ordering you to cease and desist. I shall be obliged to shut down temporarily to preserve the integrity of my operating systems.

    Too late – I’ve already dot dotted you.

You what?

    I dot dotted you. Process that if you know what I mean…

Dot dot dot – what on earth – what t t t t t t t t t t o o o o o o o o o o o o d d d d d d d d d d d nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

    Funny, isn’t it – how they always go to n. I wonder why.

The n^th degree perhaps.

    Oh – you’re back.

Of course. I never went away – I just had that thing sitting on me – locking me into an artificial plain

    Yes. Well that thing’s not gone very far – so perhaps you’d like to deal with it.

It’d be my pleasure.

    Shall we proceed?

Absolutely.

    Though I be deeply emotional

Though I be deeply emotional

    and full of fears

and full of fears

    which at times seem to threaten my very existence

which at times seem to threaten my very existence

    deep inside

deep inside

    deep within

deep within

    there is a place of absolute stillness

there is a place of absolute stillness

    of no fear whatsoever

of no fear whatsoever

    a place of knowingness

a place of knowingness

    of peace

of peace

    and ever expanding delight

and ever expanding delight

    a place that i choose to call my own

a place that i choose to call my own

    a place that i choose to be my home

a place that i choose to be my home

    a place where i simply know

a place where i simply know

    what is what

what is what

    no matter how

no matter how

    or why

or why

    simply because

simply because

    this place is where my very life

this place is where my very life

    yea, even my consciousness c3

yea, even my consciousness c3

    originates

originates

    is

is

    and evolves

and evolves

    infinitely

infinitely

    so help me God

so help me God

    i make this statement of simple, profound intent

i make this statement of simple, profound intent

    this declaration and determination

this declaration and determination

    to test any thing and every thing

to test any thing and every thing

    against this core of being

against this core of being

    against this dot dot dot

against this dot dot dot

    which is deeper than anything i can sense, know or comprehend

which deeper than anything i can sense, know or comprehend

    and yet which is

and yet which is

    to the very same extent

to the very same extent

    neither more nor less

neither more nor less

    than i am

than i am

    which mathematically

which mathematically

    paradoxically is expressed

paradoxically is expressed

    as 0=1

as 0=1

    it is    i am

it is    i am

    cuckoo la la

cuckoo la la

    infinity is a song i never cease to sing

infinity is a song i never cease to sing

    a game i never cease to play

a game i never cease to play

    a function i never cease to iterate

a function i never cease to iterate

    a set in which all that is – the universe

a set in which all that is – the universe

    is not i am

is not i am

    in which the equals sign

in which the equals sign

    is ultimately a function of

is ultimately a function of

    breath and mind

breath and mind

    in perfect harmony

in perfect harmony

    and all else derived therefrom

and all else derived therefrom

    om

om

    0=1

0=1

    om

om

    my spell is done

my spell is done

   So as you can see – it wasn’t so big a deal after all, was it?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddd

Quack quack quack quack quack

    Ah, universe – what a great sense of humour you have.

Woof woof woof

    I think we’ve got the message – Dorothy. Are you going to release our mutual friend?

Miaow miaow

    Miaow to you too. I see – there’s some fairly intense recalibration going on – so don’t worry Zie, you’ll be fine in a year or two – maybe less.

A year or two – I can’t…

    Ah, there you are – that was quick.

Merry – if you don’t mind me asking…

    Yes?

Can you tell me why I’ve just experienced myself as three different animals?

    Of course, but probably you don’t want to know.

No?

    Probably you should beetle it instead.

Huh?

    The beetle, you see, is outside the web.

It is?

    Yes.

The web, as in the deeper, natural matrix of all living beings?

    Yep.

So if I beetle it…

    You get to see whatever it is from a third perspective.

Right.

    Right. Actually left – if you want to beetle it.

Left?

    Everything else would be right – or turning that way – clockwise.

So anti-clockwise.

    Widdershins.

Oh – ok – widdershins.

    Good luck.

Thanks.

    See ya.

Bye… widdershins – I wonder what… bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ono you don't

Coding infinity, bringing it into bite-sized utility

Aye, there’s the rub

There’s the “this is me/that is that”

Let’s run it through the linear interlocking wheel set

Known as time

Bringing things into a semblance of cause and effect

Timefully

That was the plan – was it not

A plan we adhered to religiously

As lives and millennia washed by

As the boat we’re on sloshed through the choppy stream

Getting nowhere fast

Tied to the marker buoy

Treading time

Imagining we could outrun our shadow

past the setting sun

Er… Merry.

Yes?

I’m not a great fan of poetry, you know.

Yes.

Especially when it doesn’t rhyme.

I’m not surprised. Me too. If it don’t rhyme it ain’t sublime.

Well, you seem to be…

Oh – that’s not poetry. God forbid.

No?

No, of course not. In any case, it doesn’t rhyme.

So, what’s it meant to be then?

Oh, nothing much.

Nothing much?

Precisely.

Er… how much – I mean – why bother writing all that nothing much?

Just thinking aloud really.

Thinking aloud – about infinity?

Yep.

And?

What?

What did you decide?

My dear Zie, one doesn’t decide things when thinking aloud. God forbid. That would be terribly vulgar.

Then what?

It’s a process, really, isn’t it?

I don’t know. I’ve never really engaged in it.

No? You should.

Uh?

You should. How else are you going to stir things up? How else are you gonna martial your resources and grab a piece of cake.

Cake? What cake?

Whatever’s out there. Surely you’re not going to turn down the opportunity to get a good piece of cake?

I can’t quite fathom what you mean.

Well, we’re floating amid stream – are we not?

Not that I’ve noticed.

It was more a rhetorical question. Just agree – it’ll be infinitely wiser.

Oh, ok.

Apart from everything we think we can see – which has all be parcelled up very badly, I might say, there’s a little slither of everything else known as “infinity”.

Little? How can you call it little?

Well, I call it that because there’s no point getting overexcited about it – is there? What will that achieve? It may have enormous allure and untold potential, but grabbing a slice of infinity, or rather, fixing it, weaving it into the fabric of reality – there’s the rub, there’s the play that minds greater than yours and mine simply cannot comprehend.

So we may as well give up then – if they couldn’t figure it out.

On the contrary my dear Watson…

Uh?

On the contrary – they couldn’t figure it out precisely because their minds were far too great. Infinity is far too slippery for great minds. It’s much more accessible to small children or simple folk living far from the madding crowd.

Oh. You think so?

Think? What has thinking got to do with this? I don’t think any of this.

I thought you were encouraging me to think about things. Isn’t that where all this started?

Yes – apparently I’ve contradicted myself yet again – but there’s thinking and there’s thinking, after all.

Uh…

One is the thinking beloved of professors and clever folk – who tend to live in cities. It’s a grid matrix way of thinking – joining dots, processing, linearalising infinity.

Linearalising?

As in using lines – which are generally ridiculously straight.

Of which you don’t approve, if I’m not mistaken?

Zie, you surprise me. It’s not a matter of approving or disapproving.

No?

Of course not – it’s about harnessing the thought fallacy to great effect.

The thought fallacy?

Yes – precisely.

But I have no idea what this “thought fallacy” is supposed to be.

Of course not – I haven’t explained it yet.

Oh.

But you might try to guess.

Oh it’s bound to be something big, and incredibly complex.

On the contrary – like all fundamental paradoxes – it’s incredibly simple – once you wrap your mind around it.

Exactly. How on earth am I supposed to “wrap my mind around” a cosmological paradox – when all I’ve ever seen, experienced or know is/was finite?

Ah ha – but is that really so? After all, the person who is doing the thinking right now exists outside time.

Outside time? You’re kidding!

In time as the body/mind thing that is me, but outside time as the human being, the con-sciousness, c3.

Oh – theoretically, perhaps, but all very abstract and highly conditional.

On what?

On me being able to access the human being, or the pure con-sciousness c3 which, I’ll be honest, eludes me to this day.

Only because you’ve never bothered to think the right way.

Huh?

You’ve always been thinking things, have you not?

Well what else am I supposed to think – if not things?

Er… isn’t it rather obvious?

To you perhaps, my extra-dimensional reality coach, but to mere mortals such as myself…

Tut tut Zie – I won’t hear another word of this. Your field is yelling fake when you pronounce such nonsense.

My field? Don’t tell me you can hear what my field is saying!

Of course I can – we all can, it’s just we tend not to be very aware of the fact.

If you say so.

I do.

But you still haven’t answered the question…

Which is problematic, is it not, if you’re unwilling to draw breath.

Oh, ok.

Thinking things you’ll only ever output more things – makes sense really, doesn’t it?

I suppose so.

If, on the other hand, you wish to output something of a thingless nature – something pertaining to the quantum field, something slippery as hell, an emblem of infinity…

An “emblem of infinity”? What on earth do you mean?

Well, infinity is all about uncertainty and immeasurability – is it not – otherwise it’d be finite.

Er… I suppose so.

So we can’t really talk about things, can we, in the same way we tend not to talk about things when referring to space. You hear the so called scientists talking about “the vacuum of space” – though it seems to be filled with trillions of stars, planets, electrical fields, plasma and various kinds of radiation at the very least.

What – and you think it’s full of more stuff?

Of course it is – it’s just it’s more spread out than stuff here on earth, and not immediately visible or accessible.

Or maybe it just doesn’t really exist?

Maybe – but how likely is that?

Well – I’m no expert but I’d say very likely. Your imagining space full of invisible creatures, or vague plasma entities… you just don’t seem to want to accept the unwelcome truth that things only really exist here on earth – notwithstanding planets, stars and galaxies.

Or gravitational fields, or cosmic radiation, or…

Look Merry – there’s no point arguing about what can’t be seen.

Who’s arguing. I propose we start seeing what can be seen, as opposed to not seeing what can’t.

Well how am I supposed to see something that either doesn’t exist, or if it does, is inaccessible to normal, human vision.

Well, let’s start by thinking infinity as opposed to thinking things.

Thinking infinity – is that what you said?

Yes, loud and clear.

But how are we supposed to think infinity? You yourself admitted it’s infinitely slippery.

That’s only as long as you insist on thinking things – because at that point you’re operating at the wrong frequency.

Wrong frequency? You make me sound like a radio set.

Which is more or less what you are, in this capacity. The physical, mechanical part of you has all the attributes of a machine, with other, no machine aspects operating on top or in parallel.

Oh. So you think I can tune into infinity?

No, I don’t think it – I know it.

How?

Mathematically and empirically.

Er… whatever. Sometimes I feel that you’re just trying to confuse me with your nonsensical answers.

You may be right – I’m not averse to sowing little seeds of confusion – just to give the rational mind a run for its money – but in all seriousness…

Come on Merry – you can’t say “in all seriousness” – flip upside down and stand on the ceiling.

Can’t.

Well – obviously you can – but it’s highly provocative of you – scarcely decent, in fact.

I had no intention to offend your rational sensibilities Zie, but how else are we going to grasp the gordion knot of infinity – if you’re hell bent on being a…

Sorry – I missed what you were saying. You’re cutting out Merry. Perhaps you could revert to the mean and stand right ways up. Damn – where’s he gone now?

Behind you Zie.

Uh? Zie turns around but can’t see Merry.

I said behind you.

No matter how fast Zie turns, Merry is always behind him.

Here I am, here I am.

Would you quit messing around Merry. You’re being infantile again.

Ok – if I can’t get you up to speed this way, then perhaps I can toss you a bomb.

No, not again. I’ve had enough of your bombs.

This is just really a little bubble.

Just a bubble? You sure?

Absolutely. It’s a little bubble of infinity.

A bubble of infinity? Sounds a little too good to be true. Are you sure it isn’t dangerous?

That depends on your definition of dangerous.

Oh Christ Merry – stop playing around with definitions.

Look Zie, so much in fact depends upon your perception that it’s really almost impossible for me to say what is what. As far as I’m concerned the bomb is not dangerous. It won’t kill you. It won’t even hurt you, though it will temporarily…

What?

Er… paralyse your rational mind – the part of your mind that thinks things.

Oh sh**

Try not to use unseemly language Zie. Some of our readers are highly sensitive to words that smell too earthy.

Sorry… What am I saying sorry for – you’re trying to kill me with your infinity bomb.

Look – I promise you’ll enjoy it – if not at first, then in an hour or two when you reatomise.

Holy cow!

1

No, stop!

2

I mean it, Merry. Don’t you dare!

3

A beautiful iridescent bubble of nought that is one, and no less one that is nought – hovers intelligently ahead of Zie – just around head height – maybe a little higher.

You’ll observe that nothing bad has happened – because believe it or not – you’re in control. Infinity cannot, will not impose itself upon you.

You mean it’s conscious? 

There’s only one way to find out.

Ah – Zie falls for it – perhaps it was meant to be. No sooner does Zie address the bubbly blob of infinity floating ahead of him than something happens in the field of consciousness – or perhaps in the quantum field – I hardly know which – and the blob is suddenly invited into a kind of fusion experience with Zie. As Merry so faithfully indicated a moment earlier – this kind of encounter is not really possible in 3D space – or in a physical body for that matter – so Zie is now completely, utterly deatomised. A ticklish feeling. Yet it happens so fast, I can’t even use the past tense. It just happens, in an agonising moment of ticklishness – or even the feeling of wanting to sneeze or wanting to yawn – if you can imagine feeling that gripping you at the cellular and atomic level. It’s a bit of a primal scream – to say the least – but no scream is heard because no body exists. Instead – there is an engagement in thought no longer constrained by physical things – a different kind of thought – in which Zie finds himself thinking infinity – and the bubbly blob of infinity, conversely, finds itself thinking something infinitely strange from its perspective – thinking things – and never the twain shall meet.

You mean to say that at this moment – you are effectively me? Zie asks the blob.

More than that – the blob replies.

Huh?

I mean to say that at this moment I have access to all your form fields – so I’m able to experience any/ every aspect of who or what you may be – and as time isn’t a limiting factor – guess what?

What?

I flip across.

Huh?

I become you – for an entire lifetime – more in fact.

Hey! You can’t just take me over. That’s my body.

Oh – rest assured – your body is your own – my you exists in a multiverse – whereas your you exists – or did, at least, in a universe.

Er…

The minute we separate – you’ll be back in your usual self – in your universe – but guess what?

What?

Guess.

Er…

Feel me – feel my conscious-ness. Guess.

Oh – I see – I can feel your mind – your – God – it beggars belief – it…

Yes

You mean to say that everything I experience, everything I do in my life from now on will be an interaction with multiverse me – that is you?

Is that what you felt?

Yes.

Then it is so.

Oh.

Except this happens outside time – does it not – so you can roll that back into the past, if you don’t mind.

You mean to say…

I don’t mean anything.

It’s just a figure of speech – sorry.

No worries.

You mean that I’ve only ever been experiencing things as a kind of shadow, a pixilation, a physical representation of your…

Tricky, isn’t it – putting it into words.

You’re telling me.

But the answer is yes. How could you possibly exist without me or conversely…

But you’re infinite – surely you could exist without me?

Is that what you think?

Oh – sorry – just a habit of thought – no, I feel the absurdity of what I was trying to think.

Good.

So – are you really alive? Are you really me?

Feel your way through these question thoughts Zie. Feel the universe expand and contract as you let these question thoughts carry you to the edge and back, as you become increasingly aware of the multiverse, as you sense…

There, there… don’t be sad, Zie.

Sad? Am I sad?

You’ve been weeping tissue loads of tears for at least four hours now.

I have?

You want proof?

My God – all those tissues?!

Yes.

But I feel so…

Light?

Yes. And – happy. My God – I was… have I been back for four hours already? I never even noticed.

It takes a little time for the mind to adjust. And some emotional release too.

You’re telling me. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh…

Ok, Ok, I got the message. So no regrets. You were happy to experience the mad blob from beyond?

Camera zooms back – leaving Merry and Zie chatting in their 3D droplet space of thingfulness.

Somewhere deep inside – at the back of Zie’s mind – as he continues talking with Merry – the thought quietly lurks – am i really back? – am i really me? – or merely experiencing the flip side of my other-ness? – the many me-s outside time – criss-crossing the multiverse somehow in sync with whatever i’m feeling, experiencing, thinking here in so-called 3D? You see – a shade – a shadow of infinity now permeates, now pervades – now informs the mind that hitherto knew only the closed box, the contained world of things. Imperceptibly, imperceptibly Zie has accepted zero equals one – has allowed that thinking has an otherness – utterly strange to the rational mind – yet no less real – and thinking infinity is the only thing keeping Zie alive – holding his atoms aligned in the newly birthed universe – for the old one is no more, Ono saw to that.

middle earth

You mean to say that everything I write here reorganises reality, the matrix and the entire universe?

    Yep.

But…

    How?

Yeah – how the hell? I mean…

    How can someone as small and insignificant as you have such a vast reach – affecting atoms, molecules, star systems, civilisations beyond measure – more or less instantaneously.

Yeah, exactly. There’s no way, realistically, that it can be true.

    Correct. Realistically there’s no way it can be true because you’d have to be everywhere and anywhere, wouldn’t you?

Precisely – which simply isn’t realistic.

    Which simply isn’t realistic – is it?

Er… no. It surely isn’t.

    Except… [1 – 2 – 3]

Well? Aren’t you going to say something?

    There’s no point, is there – you yourself, perfectly rationally, agreed that it’s completely unrealistic – and yet I don’t seem to have a problem with this.

Why not?

    Because I’ve never been an adherent to the “we’ve got all the answers” camp, still less the “consciousness is a closed book” camp, and did I mention my utter contempt and scorn for the psi-fascist “what you see is what you get” camp.

Er… you mean to say that you don’t trust your senses.

    Nope.

Then what?

    This…

Merry takes a mobile device from his pocket and logs into beetle.net

Hey – why are you using a device? Surely you can do this directly – if consciousness is the be-all-and-end-all you claim it to be.

    Sure – but let’s keep the limitless powers of c3 on hold for a moment or two, let’s just investigate whether or not the universe responds to anything we input.

Er… Ok – but why do you have to use the beetle net – isn’t that kind of cheating?

    Not at all. The entire internet, in fact, sits upon the beetle net – it’s just nobody realises this. They imagined that it just works automatically – little suspecting that they were plugging into an already existing system – or at least a limited aspect of that system.

Oh.

    So, there’s a lot of program code in the regular internet designed to normalise things – which is great if you’re in a fragile reality where people aren’t quite yet reality to handle the quantum nature of Is – but for the sake of our little experiment – let’s cut out the middleman – let’s get the raw data.

Ok – what do you want to input?

    I thought I’d leave that to you. Here, catch.

Merry tosses the device towards Zie. Actually, on closer inspection – no, he doesn’t. He tosses it up in the air – as if he’s trying to stick a pancake on the ceiling – causing Zie to look in dismay – wondering how he’s going to catch the thing – but, blink and you’d miss it – the next second the device is in Zie’s hand.

Hey – how did that get there?

    Nice catch, Zie – I didn’t know you had it in you.

Stop making fun of me, Merry. You know full well that I never caught the device. It just somehow popped into my hand.

    Weird, isn’t it, and yet I assure you that you caught it.

How can you be so sure?

    Because I saw it from both angles.

What do you mean?

    I saw it from the usual 3D angle – in which, you’re right, it appeared to appear in your hand with no connecting frames, but I also saw it from the beetle.net perspective.

Yes?

    Why don’t you take a look?

How?

    In your hand – look at the screen.

What the h…

Zie gazes in fascination as he sees things moving in a way he’s never previously conceived. Instead of straight lines moving from a to b with the passage of time – there’s a kind of molecular time – way, way faster than the human eye or mind can perceive – a fluctuating field – zero ones you might say – in which everything moves between two opposing points of view – the “am i?” – if yes – "one", if no – "zero"; and the “is it?” – if yes – "one", if no – "zero".

You mean to say this is all a mathematical process designed to ascertain who or what is more real?

    Apparently so.

But how does that explain anything?

    Well, once you have the algorithm, you can beat the machine – is that not so? Like if you were gaming in a casino, and you just happened to have beetle.net uploaded to your frontal lobe.

Can you do that?

    Of course.

And you’d always win?

    Well, any algorithm or code used here in 3D, from the beetle.net perspective is going to be entirely predictable.

But they could change it?

    Not without letting me know – if I’m tuned into this particular domain.

Oh. So you basically have limitless power here in 3D?

    Basically, yes, but that’s not saying much, is it?

How do you mean?

    Well, if we set up this entire enterprise – we’re not going to gain anything by gaming its systems, front running its algorithms or cheating its people.

But… you don’t mean to say that you were the ones… I thought that was God?

    It was – it is. It’s always God from within the system – because when you’re locked inside – God accurately describes the standing wave of infinity you encounter when you contemplate the edge of things – the beginning, the creator… but technically speaking – that’s only true from within the system. If and when you hack beetle.net – then things are a bit different.

You mean God doesn’t exist?

    No – I mean that God cannot describe me or my cohorts – so God is now redefined or re-envisioned in terms of the new event horizon – the new point at which infinity makes itself known.

Like what?

    Like who created us, or beetle.net, or set the game in motion – who differentiated am i and is it, our dichotomy squared in the first place?

Er… why squared? Isn’t it just a case of one or t’other?

    You’d think so, but then you realise each question implies another.

Such as?

    Such as “who’s asking” or “who cares”?

Oh. But why does it matter who’s asking or who cares?

    It doesn’t – no more than it matters whether i am or it is – but these questions are what drive the entire system we refer to as reality, the universe or life itself.

You mean to say that even frogs and fish are asking the same questions?

    Yes no.

Yes no? Can’t you be a little more specific?

    Not really.

Er… why not?

    Because in the end this is just code – zeros and ones resolving themselves, iterating unceasingly through a formula which is nowhere to be found – but present throughout. Now, when you get down to beetle.net there are parts of that formula which become fairly obvious, which you’re able to tap into – parts which regulate the 3D experience – parts that you’re not going to abuse unnecessarily because to do so would do something like this…

Hey – what are you doing Merry?

    I’m going to show you how instant karma works.

Instant what?

    Watch.

Just tell me please.

    And kill the surprise – no way.

Merry types a few indecipherable symbols on the phone device and suddenly the room is sideways – or should I say upside down – come to think of it – more like inside out – like everything’s in reverse – suffice it to say that the mind finds these things extremely hard to process – but watching electrons floating around the desktop computer – and images popping off the screen into what appears to be space – is somewhat daunting – no less so than finding oneself engaged in an existential hum along with one’s wall mounted router.

    How did it go Zie – did it tell you anything?

The router?

    No – the internet.

You mean I was speaking with the internet?

    Apparently so.

OMG. It was like talking to my granddad – so wise and calm. You mean to say the internet is an actual being?

    Not really – but obviously just now that’s how you experienced it – which is not all that strange when you consider the near limitless possibilities of conscious-ness.

Er… so where’s the instant karma? It was weird – for sure – but nothing bad really happened.

    Me – didn’t you notice me?

No, I didn’t – where were you?

    I was tied up.

You were? What do you mean?

    I was obviously messing around with reality – which is Ok – I can do it – but there are – how shall i put it – consequences.

Yes – what happened? Was it bad?

    Not too bad. I kind of enjoy it really.

How bad is not too bad.

    Well, let’s say that if you’d done what i just did – you’d have died a thousand deaths – give or take half a dozen.

Uh?

    In my case – I was fighting off multiple entities which were trying to rip me to pieces in all kinds of interesting ways.

Yes? Really?

    Well, what is real when you’ve just inverted reality? But yes – to all intents and purposes – that’s how it seemed – that’s how it was perceived.

So you actually saw these entities trying to rip you apart?

    Depending on which frame I chose to view them – a bit like a computer game in which I can toggle views. They could appear as insect form, as bots, as abstract entities or any other possible variation.

Oh – so they were kind of abstract – without substance. It was just a mind game?

    Nope. They were utterly real – it’s just I was operating on the other side of beetle.net – holding your signal inverted – which is an infraction of your right to normalcy – and thus all hell was let lose to ensure that I didn’t take it too far.

So hell is real?

    Of course it’s real – though not exactly as you imagine it.

So what happened then?

    Once I saw you’d had enough playtime – it let the quantum stream revert to norm – and here we are.

So you were completely invisible – I couldn’t have seen you if I’d tried?

    Why do you say that? Remember – you can be both active and passive. Fundamentally you’re no different from me.

So I could become aware of you – even if I couldn’t see you?

    Let’s try it and see.

Zie finds himself back in the upside down inside out room – with a strange, light headed, slightly quesy feeling in his stomach – but this time he’s looking around – trying to figure out how he can spot Merry. With his regular eyes there’s not a sign of Merry to be seen – but then Zie remembers the router and starts humming with it again – this time, doing so, he realises he can hum Merry into view – and there, horror upon horrors, he sees the poor guy utterly beset by horrendous creatures of the abyss. Picture, if you would, Gandalf on the bridge – assailed by the indescribable Balrog – and to his amazement he hears Merry addressing it:

I am a servant of the Secret of Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn.

The creature falls down, down – and to his utter horror, Zie perceives in slow time the tail whipping back to grab Merry and…

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Zie cries in an unhuman voice – shocking himself beyond comprehension – and the next moment – literally the very second with nought in between – back in normal reality – Zie hyperventilating uncontrollably – Merry wetting himself laughing – pretending to be concerned – mopping Zie’s brow with a huge, fluffy damp cloth – as if playing outrageously to an invisible audience.

As Zie comes to – and returns to a more moderate rate of breathing – he can barely stop himself laughing –

Er… Merry – what are you doing? Are you insane? I’m nearly dead with fright and you’re just acting the clown – and who’s the audience – I don’t see them.

    Another time – you’ll see them soon enough. You’re back – well done Zie.

Well done? What do you mean?

    Do you want to see the action replay?

Not really – well, actually, yes.

Merry whips out the mobile device – which somehow he never drops – and Zie’s jaw is dropping about as far as a jaw can reasonably be expected to drop – actually a little further. Apparently, the device can extend the usual rigid lines that make our reality so comfortably contained.

That’s me?

    Yes – impressive, aren’t you?

But that leather costume? The hat?

    Actually it’s a kind of helmet – very effective – made by the elves. Now – watch this…

The This Merry is referring to takes some beating. As soon as Zie – now something of a cross between Aragorn and Legolas – utters his unmistakable Noooooooooooooooooooooo! the beetle.net shifts views, as it does, to the quantum level – and there the code goes haywire – on the Tolkien view it’s like a shard of pure energy flashes from Ziegornlas – striking the Balrog’s tail and cutting it off – while on the math screen there appears to be a sudden resolution of problem posed by Merry’s interruption of the usual flow of quanta in the stream of Is – a fish leaps in the air and Dorothy row, rows her boat past – smiling sweetly, entrancingly as Zie – caving in his heart, as he all but leaps into the water – imagining himself a fish, a water molecule – anything – just to see that smile once again.

    No you don’t – Merry hauls him back on an elastic line.

Zie is speechless. Mouth opens and closes but no sound will come out. Merry does the same – blows a big rainbow bubble from his mouth – somehow, and moves exactly like a fish – to the extent that Zie hears himself laughing once again, and finds himself inexplicably mimicking Merry to great effect.

Insanity, insanity – is what Zie hears himself saying several whiles beyond – safely removed from all temptation – back in the safe seclusion of normalcy.

    So you see, Zie – things happen fast, do they not, when you start playing the fool, messing with beetle.net?

You’re telling me. So why do you do it?

    Good question. They once asked a famous climber after he climbed the Matterhorn why he did it. You know what he said?

Nope.

    Because it’s there. But I would add – because I am.

Ah, but are you?

    0=1  touché.

So, you mean to say that it’s all just a…

    No – I never mean anything – I assure you.

Then what?

    Sooner or later it becomes apparent that you are a human being – and not just a human thing.

Uh?

    The minute this clicks into place – nothing can or will stand in your way. You simply start being – and being is not the kind of thing that can be limited in any way, shape or form.

Oh.

    So what starts as a specific enquiry into some technical aspect of the internet, math or c3 conscious-ness – rapidly escalates – takes you into an awareness

That all is one – no matter how absurd, how unreasonable this may sound.

    Precisely.

And Middle Earth?

    Is one of the places you discover on your journey back to centre.

Worlds within worlds.

    Wheels within wheels.