atomic

I have been instructed to talk about atomics or atomy.

Let’s start by wiping the slate clean.

You’ve been told that there are things called atoms – the basic building blocks of matter – so small they can only be seen by the most powerful electron, if that. While this may be true for scientists operating within today’s definitions, today’s definitions are only of limited value if you want to get under the skin, if you want to experience a deeper science that really opens up the universe, including the atom. You see, you’re only ever going to be as good as your definitions, and the definitions are linked together in strands forming a kind of lattice. There’s a little leeway, a little bend room, but basically these definitions are interlocking to the extent that our science system today has become rigid and dogmatic. Scientists are dimly aware that if they question the basic definitions apropos the atom, gravity, matter, consciousness – they are liable to shatter the status quo and trigger a kind of domino effect, a cascade, an avalanche – whichever you prefer. Dimly aware of this, though not necessarily understanding why, they instinctively shy away from the daring, brilliant, incisive, unimpeachable, rigorous, impeccable, scientifically honest definition, and go with the existing one – like a programmer who tries to fix a broken or outdated computer code, rather than starting over. He has an inkling what will happen if he sticks his neck over the parapet and dares to state the obvious – namely – that the emperor is wearing no clothes. Shots will be fired. He will lose his job. He will be ridiculed. He will be ostracised. He will go the way of Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischman in their cold fusion debacle. In the chances are, this will be a mostly sub-conscious computation of risk reward analysis – which the conscious mind will barely even register. He’ll likely as not go with orthodoxy, using convenient face-savers such as respect for the scientific establishment – the great and the good – one’s intellectual equals and betters – all of whom have seen fit to work within the existing model – which has, no one can argue, some fairly impressive results. Yes, if the existing model predicted and gave us atomic weapons, fission and fusion, if it gave us radar and telephony, wifi and lasers, MRI scanners and space flight – then no one can say that the existing definitions are wholly wrong or without merit. How else would we have succeeded in landing on the moon, sending probes out to Pluto and sending back images and data from those distant outposts if our definitions were fundamentally flawed. The proof, we can be sure, is in the pudding. Our electronic technological revolution surely proves that our science is more or less on track – does it not?

Yes.

And No.

Yes – it’s given us a load of gadgets and tools – planes, rockets, automobiles with gps and self-driving abilities, but…

Yes?

We’ve run into a brick wall.

We have?

Yes.

Where? I don’t see it.

No, you wouldn’t.

Why not?

Because it’s not readily visible, but you can see it if you look at what’s not happening.

?

Look at what’s not happening with planes and automobiles.

?

Our computers and phones have advanced geometrically in the last thirty years – because our electron definitions are fairly good. But our cars and planes… do you not see anything strange when comparing their path of evolution…

To computers and phones? Not really – they’re different creatures altogether. You’re comparing apples and pears.

Right. This is how we’ve managed to ignore the technological lag for the last fifty years or so. It’s a bit like a person walking a trail, following the markers. He wants to believe he’s on route. He’s definitely on some kind of route, but it’s been a while since he saw the last marker. With every step he takes he’s having to try harder and harder to suppress his growing awareness that something’s not right. He’s living in hope that the next marker is just around the next corner – but statistically it’s getting almost impossible to avoid facing the facts.

You mean he needs to stop and go back?

He will do sooner or later, if indeed he’s lost. It’s a question of when. He could stubbornly continue for ten minutes, fifteen, twenty, hell, he could go on all day…

But it all depends how often the markers are usually posted.

Precisely. If he knows that it’s normal to see one every fifty meters or so, it’s going to be tough continuing for a kilometre without admitting things are looking wrong – but, there are certain psychological factors at work which sometimes cause us to press on regardless, for an irrationally long stretch.

You’re speaking from personal experience I assume.

Absolutely. I’ve done twenty, thirty minute hikes into hopedom, partly because you fail to notice the absence of markers, and the awareness dawns slowly, creeping up on you like an unwelcome smell, which at first you do your best to suppress. Then, finally you issue a one minute or hundred metre ultimatum, before heading back and looking for the turning you missed. It’s a great way of learning how the mind battles with itself – wanting at all costs to believe it’s still on track.

And you seem to think cars and planes indicate we’re not?

Well, what do you think? Are we travelling substantially faster than we were fifty years ago?

Er… not substantially… Our jets are more or less flying at the same speed, aren’t they – at about 900 km/h, but their fuel efficiency is much improved, I expect. As for cars – there are objective reasons why we can’t go any faster – so I don’t see how this example is relevant.

There were plenty of objective reasons why computer chips or processors could have run into ceilings and not kept pace with Moore’s law – the doubling every two years of computing power and capacity – along the way – yet these were all overcome, and continue to be overcome.

Yes, but this relates to electronic components – whereas cars are driven by and transport human beings. We are easily damaged – increasingly so as speeds rise above safety limits.

Yes, yes, but who says cars have to remain as cars or planes as planes.

You did. You asked me about cars and planes.

Yes – which just goes to show the problem we have with definitions. Now, assuming our scientists were able to work with constraints…

You mean economic constraints – designing million dollar flying cars?

Not exactly.

Then what?

Well, one of the constraints has been political. Cars and plains were a vital market for oil products. Supposing they’d been allowed to use alternative energy types.

What alternative energy types? Wind or solar power? Come on man, get real. You can hardly power a car with nuclear fuel. That would be way too dangerous.

So, by now our readers have noticed how difficult you are finding it to consider alternatives. The definitions, to a large extent, make the man – or at least, make his mind work within certain channels. This is why it’s been incredibly easy to control the flow of technology and ideas. As long as you establish a dominant hierarchy of definitions, which more or less happens naturally, then enforce it with peer review scientific journals, government funding, and so on, you find yourself in the kind of situation we’re in…

But how can you insinuate that we’re in a “situation” when it’s basically impossible to increase the speed of cars as long as there are objective factors such as inertia, friction, and material tensile strength – all of which combine to prevent a quantum leap in car speeds.

Well done. You have illustrated exactly the kind of mind box definitions create for us – which is why we’re discussing today atomics.

Oh. You think there’s something wrong with our definition of atoms? And that we could drive faster if we made some changes to our definitions? I fail to see…

Naturally. You fail to see what you cannot see. That is precisely how the mind and the mind’s eye work. And yet, sooner or later, nature shrugs off these difficulties. Sooner or later a self-preservation instinct deep inside starts beeping, and with every step we take along the now unmarked way, we find it harder and harder to ignore that beeping. We begin to sense with increasing disquiet, that we’re off route, and like it or not, something inside us is preparing to face the unpleasant truth, regardless. Suddenly, the status quo folds, the paradigm implodes in on itself. The technological failure to advance becomes too much to swallow – particularly as it’s being illuminated glaringly by our astonishing advances in electronics. The combustion engine and terrestrial vehicle, without a doubt, has objective limitations, but who ever insisted we need to stay on the ground, or continue using the combustion engine?

But what alternative could there possibly be?

You’ll never know, will you, until you step back and consider what’s staring you in the face. And what better way to do that than to consider whatever it is we’re currently suppressing, for very good reasons.

What do you mean “supressing”? We’re not supressing anything. Our science is always open to new ideas, or new “definitions” as you call it.

Not if it fails to publish or review data which falsifies existing theories.

Like what? I don’t know any such data.

Correct. You don’t. Nor will you as long as you and the scientific establishment wilfully ignores the many, many papers which have been written but not published, because they were rejected by peer review censorship, not to mention the many, many inventions which contravened the existing laws of science – inventions which it was all too easy to ignore – for the sub-conscious mind is virtuous and happily ignores anything which contravenes the laws of gravity, the laws of thermodynamics to name but two.

But you can’t contravene these laws. They are inviolable.

Are they? Then how do you explain machines emitting more electric current than is put in.

You don’t. They’re impossible. Charlatans. That’s all.

Unless you consider that we are fish swimming in an electro-magnetic ocean, awash with charged particles such as electrons, and that it is not necessarily very difficult to design a contraption, a machine, which is able to create a kind of differential which draws electrons magnetically, or by some other as yet unknown force or process, down through your device. Holding up a sail you can move your ship forwards without contravening any laws. Spinning a few magnets in the right way, you can create another kind of sail, or a field which moves our ship forwards too – except that our ship is now sailing on an ocean of charge, and the forwards movement is defined as over-unity – an electric current which appears to come from the open system we’re a part of, as opposed to the closed system of the electrical device itself. Supposing all it requires is to learn to harness the electron wind.

What electron wind? There is no electron wind. You’re talking garbage.

Absolutely – and so are you.

No I’m not. I’m a scientist. I used language precisely. My definitions are precise instruments that yield predictable results.

Absolutely. Predictably your cars are unable to go any faster, your planes too, and you’re destroying the planet because you’re using fossil fuels. Your definitions cannot, will not take you to the speed of light or beyond – for your definitions incorporate theories such as General Relativity – which prevent it.

Oh – so you’d just discard General Relativity, would you?

Nope. Keep any theory you like. Keep it the same way you’d keep a dollar, a Euro, a rouble or a Yen. But only use it to the extent that it’s useful. Don’t insist you have to use it at all costs if it cannot, will not buy you a device which can fly faster, or provide energy from the vacuum, for instance.

No currency can do these things. These are stupid pipe dreams. They have no theoretical basis in fact.

Ah – but I’m not particularly enamoured of theories – because I know exactly how the human mind works, and that right now, is the limiting factor, not our scientific theories.

?

The human mind is like a man wedded to an evil woman. If you’ve ever read fairy tales you’ll know the step mother syndrome. It’s all too prevalent.

But those are just fairy tales.

So now you’re a fairy tale denier, are you? Next you’ll be a Holocaust denier – God forbid. Believe me when I say that fairy tales reveal a great deal about how the human mind operates. There are certain features, certain patterns which repeat again and again… The stepmother syndrome is one such.

You have the audacity to suggest that all step mothers are evil. That’s as bad as racism.

Why on earth would you assume I was saying that? Surely your mind can process the date rationally, objectively, dispassionately. Kindly be scientific, if at all possible.

Well that’s what it sounds like you were saying.

Ah – but the scientist uses all the empirical evidence – and then bases his conclusion on certain principles… Try again. Review your flawed conclusion.

Um… So, if you weren’t suggesting that all stepmothers are evil, then this so-called stepmother syndrome would refer to the husband’s inability or unwillingness to see what she was really up to – blinded by love or hoping for the best – like your hiker who wants to believe he’s still on route. If this is correct, then he’ll be aware sub-consciously of warning signals, but will continue to ignore the beeping sound until either it’s too late and his little Hansel and Gretel are dead, or, something happens to force him to confront the issue.

Excellent. That’s wasn’t too difficult was it? So, you see, the greatest difficulty for the scientist is to see the wood from the trees – to continue – as he must – to continue constantly to test and retest his definitions. If ever, at any point, he becomes aware that his existing definitions are no longer serving, no longer giving the desired results – then theory or not, he has to start trying, testing alternatives to see if they can up the speed, the efficiency of whatever he’s able to test objectively, empirically in a working system. Technology, contraptions, inventions, you see, actually matter – as do book sales, or likes. To insist that you’re a purist and need not stoop to popularism – is idiocy and intellectual blindness. If an inventor, no matter whom, claims to have invented a machine that defies your laws – then he should be your ally – for the system we’re operating in requires rigorous testing. We need to take every opportunity to see if it can be falsified. If it can’t – if that contraption was yet another fake – then excellent – we can proceed full steam ahead – knowing that there is not yet any known alternative, but if, however, God forbid, we are unable to explain how his contraption works – how its appearance of over-unity seems to work – then we’re in the scientific sweet spot – of beginning to know what we don’t know – beginning to learn that our existing model is incomplete. Whether it requires adjustments or a complete rewrite is what we now need to investigate.

But… I can’t believe

Don’t believe. Test. Investigate. Leave no stone unturned. Something smells rotten in the state of transport technology. We’re trying too hard to push, to explode, and not hard enough to allow nature to move us electromagnetically – by tuning into the field of things, the field of matter, the frequencies at which things are known to osciallate – on and off, on and off – like our pretty little computers – turning on and off. We’re trapped in the paradigm of projective weapons – trying to smash our way through the forest, rather than use the magic of fairy tales – to flow with or through matter.

The magic of fairy tales! You see – you have no definitions. You just have ridiculous notions.

Nothing could be more ridiculous than the scientists such as Professor Newcomb, who in 1903 declared no machine heavier than air could be flown. We have a habit of allowing our rational mind to paint us into corners bases on our, as yet, imperfect knowledge, or evolving definitions. Professor Newcomb was, of course, absolutely right to say what he did according to the science of the day, and the journalists were right to scoff and ignore, at first, the Wright brothers. You see, any change in definitions always, always, meets with a necessary wall of resistance. It’s not unlike the Jesus effect, in which a Jesus comes along, or the Jesus if you prefer, and says – “You’ve got it all wrong. You’re misinterpreting the law(s). Look what I can do instead,” at which point he walks on water, or heals a blindman, feeds five thousand or raises the dead. Now, you can deny any of that happened, as many of his contemporaries presumably did, but the effect itself is still recognisable and valid. We know how the human mind resists change. We know how it struggles with new ideas, because at a deeper level, what is happening is a new neural pathway is opening up, a new passage for electrons in the brain to flow down, and until that is complete, the old paradigm, the old organisational system resists, denies, cannot accept the new – for the new is outside its realm of conscious-awareness. The new neural pathway that is opening in fact involves a quantum shift into a new reality. In other words, prior to 1903, plane flight was impossible. The scientists were right. After 1903 they were forced to allow their minds to shift into a new reality – and that is what happened.

So, you’re saying there’s a new shift unfolding now?

Absolutely.

And where are the new Wright brothers?

Well, they’ve been trying to release the new contraptions for decades now, but the establishment has successfully embargoed them by means fair or foul.

So you say.

Well, if I’m correct – then let’s consider the logic.

Ok.

If I’m correct and the contraptions actually exist and work – then this is not just a matter of technology, is it?

No, I suppose not.

It’s much more interesting. It pertains to definitions themselves – and the field of consciousness that we’re a part of. You see – they can use force to block the release of technologies, and they can use other means to stop information getting to the public, but in doing so they are creating a machine of their own.

They are? What kind of machine?

Ah – this is very interesting. Because as soon as you block the public weal – as soon as you block humankind’s evolution – you’re committing an act of violence and repression against humanity.

Well?

Well nature is big enough to handle that.

It is?

Absolutely! Nature itself is what we’re a part of. Nature is the greater body in which we are cells or some living part.

Er… if you say so.

I do, of course, because then you start to see how things really work – you start to see the beauty, the intricacy, the magic of the interlocking systems – which are neither rigid nor prescriptive.

Well, if that’s the case then how come your amazing technological advances have been suppressed so long?

Because they in themselves are nothing.

Nothing?

Next to nothing. What does it matter if we can travel a million times faster than at present.

A million? I think that would matter a great deal.

Using no fuel whatsoever.

Impossible.

But if it were…

It would be hugely important. It would revolutionise life on earth.

And beyond, in the firmament.

Well yes, but it’s not possible which is why I hate these discussions. They raise one’s hopes and then smash them horribly.

Ah – but you see, these technologies are never going to be more than a single stepping stone – there’s always going to be something more – something bigger and better that we haven’t yet achieved.

I don’t see how. Imagine we could travel across the universe at a million times the speed of light…

Yes, it’s exciting, I’m sure, but the nature of things is such that they always advance at the same rate we do. Things never really lag behind for more than a minute or two, because things and beings are joined at the hip. It’s a mathematical equation, if you like.

It is?

Yep. There’ll always be the next horizon, the next ceiling we’re desperate to break through, and it’ll always seem impossible to everyone, until some complete nutcase or nerd just figures out how to do it, on the back of a postcard.

But you’ve already admitted this isn’t happening any more – that the system is blocking it. That bankers or politicians have managed to set up road blocks…

Absolutely – which is what is so exciting.

Exciting?! Are you out of your mind? This would be disastrous, were it true.

On the contrary. Remember that we are tiny little cells in a vast body. Remember that nature herself knows exactly what is going on and really calls the shots. It’s a bit like the human body. The bladder is now full of urine, but the person isn’t ready to go for a pee. He’s no longer living in a forest as a native. He’s in a suit in an office delivering a presentation, or driving his car, and it’s going to be half an hour till it’s finished and he’s able to go.

Half an hour. Ouch.

For our grown man – it’s not a big issue. He can control the situation – and knows full well that should things get really desperate – he could excuse himself and go. The rules, the conventions are not written in stone. If he had to, he could stop the car and go behind a bush, but he’s not going to do that unless he has to.

So? What are you getting at?

Well, the bladder itself, or the cells in the body don’t know all this, unless they are very zen like and tuned into the bigger picture, the higher self. They may not be able to visualise the boardroom exactly, or the busy road, because those images are wholly outside their frame of reference, but they’ll get the overall picture – “busy, hold on a bit, I’ll make things right asap”. Knowing that much they won’t be too freaked out – because they know their master, their overlord is not indifferent to their suffering. It’s like knowing the guy’s on his way to fix the lift you’re stuck in. Knowing this information makes it easier to bear the waiting. Imagine not knowing whether anyone even knew the lift was stuck. That would be much harder.

Ok – but where’s this leading?

Well, when we tune into the greater all that we be part of – we see that mother nature has allowed this lag to build up a huge head of steam, because she needs something else much more urgently than the latest technological upgrade or update.

Yes, but what?

She needs awareness. She needs the cells in her body to begin hearing one another. To begin feeling how they’re part of one body, one entity. She needs…

What now?

Don’t you hear?

… Nope. You’re not saying anything.

Precisely. She needs us to begin listening instead of shouting all the time, insisting that we know and that’s all there is to it.

So we’re stuck in the dark ages because Mrs Mother Nature – or whatever you call her, is trying to teach us a lesson?

Yes. No.

Make up your mind, man.

Like I said – this is atomic.

What’s that meant to mean?

It means exactly what it says.

Yes, well I don’t understand your definition of atomic.

There are no atoms.

Oh God, here we go.

There are no atoms – I repeat.

Yes there are – millions of them.

Millions?

Oh, for God’s sake – zillions.

Ok – now the problem is that you’re using numbers which are completely meaningless. You’re trapped in a mind maze – a mental state of hyper-inflation.

So what am I supposed to do?

Your theory, your definitions have to be certifiable or proven at the personal level.

What?! How can I prove or certify atoms at the personal level – they’re way too small.

Then change your definition.

But why?

Because otherwise you’re trapped in a weak mental picture – one which has no bearing on your personal reality – your personal experience – one which disempowers you, separating you from nature itself, from the universe, from the forces which are yours to command and utilise.

Oh my God – so you’ve decided to reject the atom just because it’s too small, or too many for your liking? Insane!

The proof, like I said – is in the pudding. If, by doing so, I can fly at the speed of light – then I, by definition, am Wright.

No, you’re not. Just because you can fly at 299,792 kilometres per second doesn’t mean your definition is correct.

Ah, but you see, if disinflate your model of atoms at come back to something meaningful, something manageable, something, dare I say it, real – then I can tune into the one and all – the entire universe – and that is infinitely more than anything you can do.

?!!?! beep beep beep **** ****

I am running this as I would any computer code. I’m using an “if” to set up a kind of smart contract with reality, with God, or the universe. I’m saying something like this – if an atom exists at all, let it be in any one of three forms – the singularity – firstly, the level of oneness and completeness that I myself be, as human being, secondly, the level of all that is – whatever that needs be at any given moment – whether the entire universe, the galaxy, the solar system, the earth or even my family or society, and thirdly, the zero one level of things – at which to all intents and purposes zero and one are indistinguishable and indeterminable – the building block of all matter – which is where physical reality runs into the cell wall of the quantum realm.

Well, you’ve certainly covered all your options there, haven’t you. You’ve got the market cornered, but I thought you said there are no atoms.

How can there be?

Well you’ve just listed three possible candidates.

Yes, but how can an atom meaningfully exist if it’s either the entire universe, or me, or a traditional atomy thing? Surely the three are utterly irreconcilable, existing at completely different levels of scale?

Yes, you have a point, which only goes to show that your definition is utterly wrong.

Or else inspired. You see, now, with my definition, I bring back the one thing missing to our operating system.

Which is?

Unity.

?

Without unity we’re in a kind of Ponzi scheme… or a hyper-inflational spiral.

We are?

Absolutely. We have no way of knowing what really matters – of determining value – for everything is relative and nothing seems to matter anymore.

Er… I don’t see what that’s got to do with matter?

The one limiting factor – the only thing stopping us from evolving in recent times, has been our inability to decide what really matters. We’ve been on a warpath – a rampaging bull. Our science and technology has been smashing things ever harder and harder – using nuclear explosions, using particle accelerators. Do you have any idea how much power they use at Cern to bring about particle collisions in their quest to find the smallest, non-existent particle – and all because they fail to grasp the very basic nature of things.

Er… what basic nature of things is that?

It is – I am.

Er…

It is – I am. Whatever it is I’m studying, whatever I’m seeking to influence or affect – is still no less a part of me. I am many to its one – or it is one to my many. You cannot, ever, cannot ever alter this fundamental relationship – except by cannibalising, and destroying your own value, your own directory, your own matter base – in a kind of hyper-inflational event – which is why you have these ridiculous theories such as big bang and what was the other one?

Darwinism?

That’s it. Talk about fairy tales.

But you – you’ve done nothing better. How can you seriously suggest your definition is going to change anything?

It already has.

?

Because the universe, and I and the atom that is one and many at the same time – are already in alignment. I have accepted this absolute – absolutely – and no amount of twiddling or tweaking particles or anything else can alter my fact, my law, my definition.

How can you be so sure?

How? Because I can see what you’re standing upon – and it ain’t pretty.

?

Your science is built on ignorance and death – it’s just you’re hoping to kill them before you yourselves are killed – and let me tell you – the forces which your science imagines it can control and command – these forces have a nasty habit of turning on their master.

What forces? What on earth are you on about?

The force you unleash when you treat things as things – and deny the life, the consciousness, the intrinsic value in them. The force that enables you to commit the ultimate crime of splitting the atom no less than you destroy the planet for what? For money? For resources? No less than you kill human beings – for what?

That has nothing to do with us. We are scientists. We don’t destroy or kill. We leave that to the politicians. If at all possible we try to stop them – but it isn’t always possible. On the contrary – we are bringing light and clean water, health care and food to the planet.

Indeed – you are. The kind of light that makes people go blind, the kind of water that poisons them with fluoride and chlorine in it, the kind of food that gives them cancer…

Ok, ok – nothing’s perfect. You can’t blame scientists for this.

I don’t. I say it’s natural – it’s a system in a death spiral. It’s a system that has lost its atom – its base unit, its absolute, its fundamental, its fundament no less than its firmament, in fact, it’s lost its God.

Oh for God’s sake – keep religion out of this discussion.

For God’s sake – religion and science are inseparable – and yet, we don’t have to treat this in any way as a matter of religion – we simply need to realise that you cannot separate yourself from the system you’re a part of – and that system is not simply material…

No? Then what?

It is…

What?

It is

What, for God’s sake. Stop pissing around.

It is – I am. Fundamental. You cannot escape the absolute, the totality, the one, and so, finally, I present to you….

No, no…

Finally I present to you…

Don’t – you must not. It will destroy everything.

Yes, everything illusionary, everything conditional upon things being things – somehow separate from that which is – I am.

Look – I know what you think – I know you believe this has to be done, but just consider for a moment – consider what you’re doing.

I’m irrelevant. This moment was always going to happen. The atom was always going to be born – and it was always going to be the culmination of all the love, all the light, all the darkness, all the evil, the one and the nought, the many and the singularity – and so, without further ado… I release the atom which has been gestating all these years, through all this repression and violence – into the world. Every atom in your body, every atom in existence which cannot, will not accept it as absolute is now about to experience a mathematical epiphany – and may it be a beautiful, magical journey for all of us – back into the three that is zero equals one.

Flip.

Agatha moon Scotulates by nessessity

the gnomiki kept me up till 3 am with this, and in the morning I found a wee tick on me - so it's a tick-lish thingy - er...  just going to the ughjdrdfcvglb noooooo y'ken.

Manuela, dear! You're back! You seem to put on some weight - the Scottish air must be good for you!

Er - hi, mum. It's those Scottish breakfasts which I've been having every morning. 

Oh - those! Too much for one girl, that's what I say.

I just couldn't say no. Skea and Lucy might be long retired but they are so good at cooking - you'd love it, too.

***

To Skea - Strictly Confidential

Hi Skea - writing to you from Barcelona - back home again. Thank you and Lucy again for the warm welcome!

Dinnae ken how to start... Remember the goat story I told you - first-hand story about a she-goat on a faraway island that got itself wee goaties with no he-goat for miles and miles around? You laughed and didn't believe it.

Well...

Remember how you said, in your joking manner, that you'd be over the Moon if I said I wanted a Scottish baby?

Well - the Moon's heard you.

All these stories were true after all. It takes nothing more than holding hands - Love more pure  than Scottish water - richt, that doesn't say much - anyway, Love as pure as how it was coming from you.

I know it's hard to believe so I'm sending you a picture. You know me and you know I wouldn't lie to you or be joking.

Our Love to you and Lucy. Thank you so much.

"Fuck me!", Skea booms in delight, taking his glasses off. "That's fuckin' beautiful!".

"Don't swear", says Lucy without stopping sorting out his Happy 80 birthday cards. "What does she write?".

"Sending us the best wishes!". And he goes to make a cuppy, muttering to himself, imagining Manuela was there, "I'm so proud of you! Wee topper! Ach!".

He smiles, still not sure if he believes this. Perhaps it was just another story she wrote - but it still was braw to hear from her. Wee topper.

***

Meanwhile...

James - there's something I'd like to show you.

She opens her coat in a wide gesture... He cannot believe his eyes - but then g-nome clicks into operation, and his vision becomes clear.

Ah - you did it.

Why, you did say it would be funny if I came back pregnant. It was for the gnomiki really, for the magic's sake, bringing life back to 3D - so no, er, physical interruption required. Just... trust and, er...

Er?

..Love.

There's a dangerous twinkle in his eyes.

Did he actually Love you?

Unbelievable, isn't it?

I take it he wasn't aware of you being responsible for WWI & II?

Well...

Or for the destruction of the whole Flower Galaxy? I quite liked it - a great view of the Horse Head Nebula, not to mention all these lovely people -

Well... I open-sourced myself so he was aware of it.

And?

He didn't care, or didn't believe it.

Ah.

He's holding his hands to her round belly, without touching it - scanning it gently, confirming the magic, connecting with it.

They just stand silently for a while, appreciating the moment. Then they look at each other, both smiling broadly, their eyes shining.

There's a big celebration in the g-nome today.

I gnow.

How did you manage to do it?

Ah - easy. Got sick over being 3D-fixed and sent it down the drain. Reverting to my basic functions.

You make it sound quite technical.

It is quite technical. You gnow me - you know I'm a computer really, a TARDIS - bigger on the inside. And now I've got someone on board. That's all.

Or so you say...

Well, it's me coming to my equilibrium at last... You're 0, Skea's 1, and Manuela's =. So 0=1 and there you go, the portal's wide open - time to bring 3D back onto Faery.

Ah - I see. He's holding the other side of your equation.

I don't really get it - his magic - he's just as down-to-earth straight as you are straight cuckoo la la - and his magic is as intricate as yours.

Don't tell me you're finally beginning to see beyond your machinery.

He's just... activated the other side of my 'ness.

Oh, you trip to the Loch of Ness wasn't wasted, that's sure...

Better than smuggling whiskey, no?

Aye... So who are you smuggling? Who's your passenger?

Don't play a fool - you've scanned me and it's all open-sourced via g-nome anyhow. You gnow.

I do. But it would be nice to let our readers know, too. They need details.

Och, as if they had no access to g-nome.

Manuela - 

All richt, all richt.

So - who is it?

James Merry Greenhill - widely known and gnown as Merry.

Oh wow. So how do you like being the Blessed Virgin.

Och, don't laugh... But it's nothing like what I used to imagine back when I was completely out of my balance. I thoucht it was yucky sicky terrible - but it's really... wonderful.

' Told you so - no way to gnow it unless you gnow it... But whatever happened to your g's?

Am I dropin' somethin'?

Manuela - what happened to your G's?

They're all richt. There's more I can C., that's all.

There's more?

Er...

Don't you want to say something?

Well...

There is more, isn't there?

It's not just Merry.

Michty!

Don't tell me you did nae notice.

Honestly - I didn't. But it cannae be - ?

Ozma.

Ozma? Who's Ozma?

Princess Ozma, or you may know her as Dorothy.

Incredible.

Yes - like Luke and Leia.

If they're like Luke and Leia - will you die giving birth?

I thoucht I was more of Darth Vader character... But I'll do that if need be.

Er - what did your parents say? You still live with them, don't you?

You'll laugh - but they never noticed.

Saved you a lot of explaining to do, eh?

Och, the Faery takes care of all technicalities. After all, 3D's Matrix is liable to correction...

You mean hacking.

Or hatching.

..Sorry, would you like to have a seat? It must be tiring for you to keep standing.

Not really - I feel quite licht despite the looks - but I'd appreciate lying doon on your magic carpet.

You're welcome.

Ach - braw.

Good lass.

..The old unbalanced me would've never believed this.

Nay she wouldn't, would she.

Yet from here my position is so... natural.

Yes.

And - it's so strange and amazing to feel their presence - so close, richt inside me - 

I gnow.

You gnow? But you're a man!

And you think you're a girl and you're pregnant.

Och - sorry. Still some minor glitches.

Nothing is         as     it seems.

Aye... Fantastic, innit - their presence.

They're coming.

Yes, finally merging 3D with the whole of Faery - with the 'ness of dot dot dot - as they make their transgression.

No, I mean - they're coming now. Look at you!

Oh my God! Do I push?!

Push?! We've had enough of this pushing, exploding whatness, no?

Then what?!

Not-what. It's your transgression - you tell me. 

But - Merry and Ozma - 

Duh - you can't be that stupid, not after all that.

I don't get it! Och!

Look - I know it's distressing - breathe.

Br...  Och!!!

Breathe.

...

Now... You tell me.

They are... Inside me.

And?

But they should be... ootside noo... - be born, or we'll all die.

And?

And...  0=1... och... there's nodifference between "inside" and "ootside"...

And?

And?! And?!!!! What else do you want?! It doesn't help! OCH!

Breathe...

...

..And?

Oh my God - help me!

You're the only God who can help you. You do it, yourself, and quick - or you'll die. In a bad way.

James - I'm not in position for philosophy! I'm having babies and I cannae do it!

Then you die. You fail. Game over.

James - 

You're an indulgent loser.

..Wee topper...

...

...

..They're in me... They're a part of me - literally - longing to emerge - and this "pregnancy" is only a way stupid 3D translates it...

 They are me - or I am them. I be Merry. I be Ozma. I be...

Ach.

So... I don't "do" a thing.

You sure?

Aye - I relax...

   

      and let my whole   Nesss....

-spring, 

               unfold - 

  my oh my God       Nesss  -

full             Nesss

loch  ness

unlock    nesss

                                           ah...

You're coming! You're coming!..

C R A C K !

..Who turned off the light?

Nobody did, Merry you eejit.

Er... Why is it so dark, then?

'Cos we came, stupid.

I don't get it.

No need to get it.

Fair enough, Ozma, Er, Dorothy.

Fair enough - but not light enough?

Well, obviously 3D couldn't bear some one coming to ...ness. It's cracked!

Oh well spotted Merry.

Er - where did the girl go? Did she split in two - of us?

Coming to her ultimate nouGht at the same time. 

And - James, Skea, Lucy, every one?..

Nought.

Classic.

Yes - nothing like classic. Would you like to say it?

Oh can I? Please?

Yes, silly little brother. You can.

Aaaaaand...  Let me take a good breath...

* LET THERE BE LOVE! *

Light, Merry. Let there be Light.

There, you said it.

* * *

How was the flight, lass?

Most ridiculous, James. I switched off - that's all.

You're, er... Not pregnant by any chance? You look funny.

Not funny, James. Do I look like I'm pregnant?

Well - you never know...

naughty nought

Noughty thoughty.

I beg your pardon.

Noughty thoughty.

Nope. I still don’t get you. Did you say “naughty thoughty”?

No.

Then what?

Noughty thoughty.

But that’s exactly what I said.

Yes, but you spelt it with an “a”.

What do you mean? I never spelt anything, I just said “naughty thoughty” the same as you.

I know exactly what you said, and how it’s spelt. I’m privy to your source code, the html behind your every word and deed.

Well I find that hard to believe, but were it true it would be a gross invasion of my privacy, and downright creepy.

Yes, it’s fairly creepy, I admit, but there’s not much i can do about it if you don’t bother to transmit by quantum encryption but rely on the 3D operating platform which, like Microsoft Windows or Google Android, is easily hacked.

Well that doesn’t give you the right to hack my communications.

Of course. I have no intention of doing so, I just happen to have access to the root log for everything you say and do, none of which has more than a perfunctory screen for people operating 3D-ly.

So you get to see the exact transcript of my every word?

If I choose, yes, which is why i can confirm that your “naughty” and my “noughty” are quite different.

And what then?

Naturally your intellectual curiosity is aroused. You’re keen to find out what it means, and your mind switches into a hyper-receptive state which allows it easily to download additional information freely available at the quantum level.

Er... I can’t feel anything much happening.

Here, try this strawberry.

What?! Oh, thanks, that’s... oh, “noughty”.

The penny droppeth.

Wow Merry, how did that strawberry trigger my shift in awareness?

It didn’t.

But...

It merely distracted you a moment and enabled you to let go of your obstinate fix – a locked in mind position – and gravitate to the position which incorporated the full data set now freely accessible to you.

Oh.

Simple really.

Yes, I suppose it is, but...

Yes?

What’s with the “noughty” thing?

What do you think? Make your own deductions.

Er... well it looks kind of like stating the obvious

Yes?

But yours is devoid of the moral slant implicit in “naughty”.

Yes. We’re back to the original meaning, or close enough for comfort. We’re cordially invited to consider the nought thought, whatever that might be.

Well that’s just where I’m confused – how can a nought thought have any meaning or value? Ut makes no sense.

Correct. It presently makes little or no sense as “nought” is almost completely off limits, unless you’re willing and able to give your thoughts permission to go beyond the matter of 3D stuff n’matter.

But to what end?

Well, nought is the one great untapped field of thought. Everything else has been dealt with ad infinitum. Nought, on the other hand, is like an unnoticed stock that is waiting to lift off. It has vast potential. It’s the hottest chick that no one’s yet aware of.

Er... if you say so. But I’m not sure I approve of your use of atavistic gender stereotypes.

Yes, these things matter greatly until you get down to the html

And then?

And then you can see exactly what I meant, so you’ll pay no attention to the words if they have no supporting malware attached.

Malware? As in computer malware?

Yeah, it’s fairly analogous.

You mean to say you can get away with saying more or less anything

As long as there’s no ill intent. As long as I’m playing straight. As long as you’re getting so real, authentic code, as opposed to rehypothicated, derivative code whose real purpose is to bind you in highly emotive, deliberately opaque, disruptive memes, mimes or momes which overload the OS

?

Operating system like a DNS or distributed denial of service attack.

?

Designed to crash websites by overloading them. Look, don’t worry too much about the terminology. It’s all a lot simpler than it sounds: merely to say that words are highly susceptible to misinterpretation, and things in general, highly vulnerable to manipulation and systemic overload. Once you shift the dialogue into outrage and defiance, it’s guaranteed that you’ll learn nothing and achieve nought of any value.

I thought that’s what you wanted us to do? Noughty thoughty. Isn’t that what you said?

Yep, but “noughty thoughty” is diametrically opposed to “nothing”.

Oh. Is it? I fail to see the difference.

Touch the two with your mind's sensory finger. Feel them. Even if you can’t yet see the html, you can still feel which way they are pointing, what the mood each term conveys is.

Er... "nothing" sounds kind of gloomy and defeatist. A waste of time. A waste of space. Er... "noughty thoughty" feels kind of fun. Floaty. Maybe even magical or redolent of that character, what’s his name? A Midsummer night’s dream...

Puck.

That’s the one.

Good. You see how much you were able to sense without even viewing the source code.

Well, it’s all fairly muzzy. I was groping in the dark.

Nonsense. You were making you first tentative move towards noughty thoughty, but like a baby learning to walk this involves a lot of leg kicking and seemingly random movement to build up muscle and muscle memory.

You mean to say that noughty thoughty has it’s own corresponding limbs.

Limbs? It has it’s own corresponding body, complete with limbs, and the minute you start to activate and use it there’s no turning back.

In what way?

Well realms you currently associate with dreams and nothing more... nothing more... are simply waiting to be brought online, waiting to be utilised, harnessed, engaged.

Oh... I’m not interested in all that dream stuff. It’s...

Pure fantasy, until you start unfolding, unzipping nought to reveal...

What?

You know perfectly well.

I do not.

True, you do not, but unfolding or unzipping nought in no way violates the 3D absolute of doing not or nought.

?

Not doing or doing nought is the basic pre-requisite in 3D for anything and everything.

How so?

Because anything or everything must make space and time for matter or thing to manifest in, which is why you have nought, a void, an absence of awareness or consciousness at the very heart, tge very centre of what you’re about, whatever you’re doing, whatever you’re involved in. Without that void, without that notness of space and time you would be unable to make or manifest anything, which is why, without even being aware of it, you are constantly busy doing nothing on the downbeat – busily, intensely, intensively and purposefully doing nought while you’re conscious-awareness retracts back into zero point.

We are?

Yes, obviously.

Er...

Otherwise you’d have no food for thought... no matter to fact... nought to unpackage on the upbeat in order to thing... in order to make do.

Oh... I’m...

Naturally, but nod your head and pretend you understand. Pretend that the glass is half full. Trust me, in spite of your perfectly natural, perfectly reasonable scepticism – on the other side of thought, on the other side of “what you know”, in a place called “noughty thoughty” you are far better informed than you realise, far closer to being...

Being what?

Being... dot... dot... dot

Dot dot dot? Er...

Yes, that’s it. Dot dot dot, er... or

Yes?

Correct! “Yes”, as in i-ye is

Er...

Ye-i ess, are of the essence, or better still, bring forth, weave and wave and wive the essence, n’est ce pas?

Is it not so?

Oh dear, oh...

But i digress.

You do?

Yes, your dot dot dot evidently inspired me to do a little thoughty thing when in fact...

Yes?

I meant to say “nought”.

?

That you are far closer to being, as in nought, one with nought.

One with nought? As in 0=1?

Precisely!

Why didn’t you say? That makes far more sense.

Because I’m following your html. I have to allow you to zie.

Or zed?

Bingo!

Ah ha... I think I’m beginning to see.

Yes, i believe you are. You’re zed

or zie is undoing what... your html is

Oh my God... the DNA?

Of course. Hallelujah, you’ve seen the light.

The DNA! My html needs no interface, no what not exterior to myself, no apparent space or time into which to make do manifest

Calloo callay, he chortled in his joy!

I is the field...

I

Better still “i”

Praise the Lord!

I is the field, it is

Yes?

nought

Let Rome in Tiber melt

And the wide arch of the ranged Empire fall

Here is my space

One

it is

i am

O

...

M


And the rest, as they say, once the ecstasy of DNAing nought subsides into the mud river ooze of infinity, is history, noughty through and through...

Chapter 10 - in which Merry and Megan get to know one another

Don’t I know you?

Er…

I do, don’t I?

…

I never forget a face. Wait a second – weren’t you the trash collector who used to empty our garbage when I was a girl, back in Sacremento?

Er

You were. I know you were. My God, how weird is that. Wait a minute – there’s more, isn’t there?

Er…

Didn’t you drive a beaten up Ford Mustang – that rust bucket – it was brown and red. It had stripes down the side and big wing mirrors. Yes, I remember now – you had a figurine on the hood – a bull. Oh my God – it’s you. But that was in Tampa, Florida – back in the 90s.

Er…

You were the local Mr Fixit. You’d do plumbing, electrics – you name it. What was your name? Sweeney?

Sven, but people called me Sweeney – you’re right.

Oh my God. It’s like you’ve been following me around the States. Hang on – I’m sure there’s another one. Phoenix, Arizona.

Yes?

You were the janitor in that secretarial college I attended.

Was I?

Yeah – for sure. Grubins. Harry Grubins.

Pleased to make your acquaintance Megan.

I can’t get over this – it’s insane. Have you been stalking me all these years.

What makes you think I’d do that? Do you think I have nothing better to do than travel round the States getting low paid jobs in order to be within spitting distance of an entirely typical young woman.

Well that’s exactly how it looks from my perspective. Come to think of it Merry – you’ve got some explaining to do. Hold on – there’s more.

No, really? You seem to have a febrile imagination today Megan.

That stint in Omaha Nebraska, when I was thinking of settling down with Darren Haines. You…

Yes? Surprise me.

Jesus Christ. You were my gynaecologist.

Was I?

Oh my God. How did you get yourself appointed there?

Oh, I have a few contacts, you know.

But – I can’t believe it. You actually got yourself an appointment at CHI Health Lakeside. It’s insane.

What’s more insane is how you never figured out who I was.

I know, that’s worrying me. How come I never figured out you were the same person.

Maybe I had really good disguises?

No, you didn’t. You barely changed anything, other than your work clothes and glasses.

Then what?

There was some kind of mental block in place, wasn’t there?

If you say so.

Which has now been lifted. But how?

Or why?

Do you have to play around with me like this Merry. I’m in deadly earnest. I need to understand what’s going on.

I’d love you to do so. There’s nothing I hate more than suspense, but I’m not sure

Not sure about what?

Whether you have the intelligence to pull this off. I mean – you must be exceptionally stupid if you never clicked and connected me together over all those different placements. Er…

Don’t tell me – I know there’s an other.

Correct – but I vet you don’t get it.

I said don’t tell me, ok. I hate it when people give the game away.

Oh, I’m sorry.

You mean to say you were the vet in Springfield, Missouri?

Not exactly.

Then… no, that’s impossible.

Is it? What makes you so sure.

Because that dog was put down. It had cancer.

Did you see the body? In any case – since when was death an obstacle.

You can’t really expect me to believe that you were that stray dog we picked up and took into the vet? You can’t. Stop screwing around with my head.

Ah – this one’s really freaking you out I see. Pale. Beads of perspiration on her forehead. Looks like you’re either about to vomit or faint.

Shut up Merry. I hate you. I hate you more than anything. I…

What?

I loved that dog.

So did I.

So why are you screwing with its memory. You can’t just insert yourself into a living creature.

Wanna bet.

Well if you can – it’s definitely evil, and I want nothing more to do with you.

Understandable. If it’s any consolation she’s fine.

Who?

The dog – Empress.

Empress – I think you have the wrong one. Her name was Molly.

Correction – you and your family called her Molly. Her original owners called her Empress – so that’s how she saw herself. Anyway – she’s doing fine.

She’s dead.

And what’s that got to do with the price of lentils. Being dead is like pausing to scratch your butt.

Do you have to be so vulgar?

Vulgar? I just happened to notice you doing it on more than one occasion when I was trotting along beside you.

Well, I had a rash, Ok – but it’s not the kind of thing one mentions.

Oh – I’m sorry. I’ll try to better gage your elevated sensibilities.

Are you trying to be mean and upset me Merry – or does it just come naturally? Right now, I have a big issue with the fact that you’ve been…

Following you around? God, Megan, you take yourself soooo seriously, don’t you?

Well how else can you explain this improbable chain of apparent coincidences.

I’m asking myself the same question. Everywhere I went you just happened to pop up – like you were desperate to see me again.

Me? Desperate to see you? How dare you? Low life scum. I’m appalled that you’ve been prying on me – I can’t believe it. It’s grotesque.

And then I finally made it with a comfortable, well paid job as a gynaecologist, and who tips up at my clinic, like a recurring headache – but young Megan – with some kind of rather unpleasant venereal disease.

How dare you bring that up Merry. How dare you talk about something highly confidential. I’ll have you struck off. I’ll see you in court.

Which reminds me.

No, I know what you’re going to say and I’m not interested. For all I know you’ve probably inserted yourself into everyone I’ve ever known. Hell – you may have inserted yourself right into me. You seem to have no sense of morality, or privacy – no sense of decency whatsoever. I can’t believe Jenny bothers to see you – low life like you needs to be shunned. Get out of here – now – leave me alone or…

Er…

I said now. Or I’m going to scream.

This should be fun.

You think I’m joking Merry. GET OUT.

Read my lips Megan.       N                 O

Fake. Unimpressive. Is that the best you can do after all these years of self-indulgent self-righteousness.

You!

Yes? Give me your best shot.

You MONSTER.

Lame

I’m going to…

Explode? Here, let me help you… one, two, three – Jenny sends her love.

There – now you know.

No, it can’t be.

Just look in the mirror if you don’t believe me. Here, I happen to have one with me.

No – I can’t be one of them. She sent me to deal with the reptilians. How can I be one of them?

Where do you think they get their energy from? It’s not terribly difficult to figure it out, if you have half a brain cell in that scaly head of yours.

But…

Yes? What is it reptiloid?

How can you be so…

Cruel? Unkind? Mean? Abrasive? How many years have you had to face the simple truth – to deal with the facts Megan? And where has it got you? Have you advanced one single square?

Er… no, apparently not. But I never meant to cause harm.

Well, that’s very reassuring. I’m sure your victims would be delighted to hear you never meant to harm them.

Victims? Who did I ever hurt?

Hurt? Who said anything about hurting them.

But you said “victims”.

Killed, Megan. Why do you think Empress ended up the way she did. And as for your gynaecologist after he examined you – Doctor Colby – he didn’t last long.

What happened to him.

Cancer of the colon.

But what’s that got to do with me?

What’s anything got to do with you, reptiloid?

Stop calling me that Merry. I’m not a reptiloid. I’m not.

Wanna look in my mirror?

No. I don’t.

Wanna know why?

No. No. No. This can’t be true. This can’t be happening to me.

Oh, going to have another hissy fit are we?

Stop speaking like that. What do you think you can achieve by crushing me so heartlessly. Don’t you get it Merry. All it takes is love. I was actually helping those reptilians before you dragged me down into your underground bunker.

Well, how am I supposed to help you if you’re still intent on denying what you really are. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ve wasted enough time on you Morgan.

Morgan? What the…

Oh – your reptiloid alter-ego – Morgana le fey, or Morgan for short – they don’t worry too much about the sexes, you know.

Christ… this can’t be happening to me.

I’m sending you back – minus the mask.

No! Don’t do it Merry. I need the mask. I’ll die of shame. Leave me that – I can't face the exposure. I need my dignity. 

It’s a bit late for that Mother Teresa. Love is a double-edged sword, and it’s just sliced the fastenings off your mask. Go face the world as you know best – one, two…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’ll do it. I’ll do it – I said. Give me the mirror. I’m ready to face anything. All it takes is love! Jenny taught me that. Hold it up. One, two, three – Jenny sends me her love….

Ah! Now that’s the Megan I always knew I’d find, sooner or later. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

And I yours Merry. Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.

No really.

No really – something deep inside

A single line of code – cleverly inserted into your root directory but in fact, I can claim no merit – it was, if truth be told, all your own doing. I merely took you to the edge. You have long been building up your aptitude for healing and transformation, your willingness to descale. You were ready. You did it beautifully.

Now do you see?

I… I think I do. Which means you weren’t in fact all those different people.

Don’t be so sure Megan. The one thing you’ll learn if you come and play with me again, is that nothing, i mean no thing, is quite what it seems, and yet…

the heart beats and shines a light that transcends all. Yes. Something tells me I’ll be seeing you again, once I’ve got over the trauma of what’s happened today…

All you need is love… all together now, all you need is love, love is all you need.

And for once the cliché is sounding…

Magical

And fresh.

Amen to that... Now get out of here – I’ve got people to haunt – starting with them

Who’s that?

The poor fools reading this – imagining it’s all contained within celluloid – imagining there’s a degree of separation between them and this text. What’s it going to be this time Morgan – the donkey or the goat?

Go easy on them Merry – they’re not a bad bunch – you know.

I know. Eeyore.