i too

i too have tried
to bomb my way to success, by God
from big bang to birth a dancing star
from shrapnel -- conjure life's spark
a battery of ferns, a fracas of aromatic fir
have cursed and let the flames of anger
fan themselves to a fury of spitting rage
have stamped my foot
have shouted at a child
who dared obstruct my will
have snapped a recalcitrant branch
that would not bend
when i would pass
and yet i failed
failed to achieve my end
failed to see life emerge
from that nitric tunnel of hate
my bombs backfired
blasted the very foundations
of my once blessed state
i fell to pondering perversity
the power to destroy
not to create

Otherly er

You want to know how we released infinity back into the wilds of 3D?

How or why?

We didn’t.

Er...

It was always there, baked into the fabric of 3D itself. It had only ever been a matter of time before the seal broke, before people started to notice the “anomalies”.

“Anomalies?”

That’s what they’d call them. They had forgotten, hadn’t a clue poor dears that theirs was the anomaly.

Theirs?

Of course! A reality that seemed to be contained, in which paradox seemed to be manageable, in which things seemed to make sense in a cause n effect sort of way.

Oh that.

That indeed. The great fallacy

of matter

You’ve heard. You know?

I do. The fallacy was our undoing, is still in fact our Achilles heel in spite of all we’ve learned, all we’ve been through.

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, when matter itself we have since learnt

amounts to nought... Yes, the great irony, without the least bitterness, that the “kingdom of God” was and is at hand, flying beneath the radar coverage of things in general

or things what matter, more particularly.

So you mean to say you had no hand to play in all this? It all just happened!?

Oh, you’re trying to either/or it are you? Quaint.

Well we can’t completely retreat to...

can’t? We can do more than that. We can stop pretending that things are what count, we can feel the fabric of space-time’s curvature, another way of saying the essing nature of things, as the serpent gently propels itself forward with ridiculous ease, merely by flicking its tail and feeling the paroxysm rising up its body, giving no definitive answer to who is propelling whom, or what what, chicken or egg, it is-i am...

You mean to say a general fog of relativity?

I mean nothing of the sort. I mean an emergence back into isness, the essness of be, discovering there are neither points nor places, merely memories and perceptions.

Memories and perceptions, you say? You may be right, but I still feel you’re being disingenuous claiming you had no hand in the above.

And if I did, if i am a lever, let this be nothing more than flotsam and jetsam on the flood tide of reality, which could only have been created, could only have emerged from the mists and swamps of infinity thanks to the artifice of slow-yield seemingly straightened wavefulness.

Ah, that’s where you’re coming from, that’s what you’re getting at. Well I for one

and one for all... Until you’ve breathed and lived the waveform of is you’re merely contemplating or considering the nature of things from yet another angle. Sooner or later this requires full immersion... a willingness to let the waters of darkest nought do their worst, to restore the balance of trade between both sides of the equation, the be all and end all, the grand journey back to er

Er?

Er... this!


Where did he go, bloody show off. Er... oh, come to think of it...

Hail fellow well met, on the dark and dismal side of er...

of er... Ah, that’s what you meant so elusively. Well, i for one intend to prove you wrong, if it be within my power, to forge a link with another outpost of 3Deity, and start the ball rolling again.

Resurrecting the dead in the process! Of course it be within your power, if you are set on the above, unless, that is, you decide to make space for er and allow time to wag its tail felicitously

Ah, the biological imperative! Is not that what you’re referring to?

Indeed I am, otherly to the bitter end.

Let it be so, er...

Er...

1

2

3

OM

observational modulation
switching to ess
entropic sine sense

volumising nought
expressly redolent

er

beside myself

Er...

Yes, what is it?

Merry...

What? Can’t you see I’m busy.

I hate to be nosey or obtrusive

Well – are you going to give in to hate?

Why are you hiding behind a tree?

Whatever makes you think I’m hiding behind a tree?

Er... that’s what it looks like – to the casual observer.

Casual?

Or neutral.

Zie – if you like imagining you’re either casual or neutral i can accept that. We all like imagining we’re something we’re not. One person imagines she’s vivacious and witty, another that she’s good looking and seductive. You probably imagine that you’re intellectually sharp and within spitting distance of the truth.

I don’t know...

Precisely – but in actual fact you are obtuse and lost in self-delusion. Had you any idea how far you are from seeing what is what you’d probably foam at the mouth and rage against the sun and moon until people decided you had rabes and probably out to be institutionalised.

Rrrrggggggggg

There you go – let it out Zie. After all, you probably imagined in your mental illiteracy that I was attempting to spy on someone – perhaps Sonya who’s sitting over there – deep in contemplation.

Rrrrrrggggggg

One never ceases to wonder at the close proximity of the beast within man – waiting to climb out and expose itself once a few carefully selected buttons are pressed. By all means feel free to escalate this tantrum of wounded vanity and pride up to the next level. I expect you’re already contemplating how you’d like to do physical damage to me for seeing through your petty small mindedness so easily, not to mention your jealously that perhaps I’m more interested in watching Sonya than spending my time with a complete bore such as yourself.

******** !!!!!!!!!!!  @:>?><@{}  !”£$%^&  *******

Ah – I think we’ve done enough. 1 – 2 – 3 pop

My God Merry – what was that all about? You were completely...

Zie, before you say another word – have a look at yourself.

?

Please – if it doesn’t offend your sensibilities to do so!

Oh, alright. Aaaaargh! What’s going on? What’s happened to me?

Oh nothing much.

Nothing much?! What the

Expletive expletive expletive – one does grow a little tired of humans’ capacity to translate the higher experiences of paradox, contradiction and metaphysics into a series of four letter words, usually associated with copulation or toiletry. It’s beyond me, really.

What’s happened to me?

Oh that – you got a bit over-excited – don’t you remember.

Of course I bloody remember. You were winding me up something rotten.

Yes – i did my best – but technically speaking i never uttered a single word of untruth.

Oh thanks a bunch – that makes it all the better.

Only trying to be honest.

If you don’t mind – I’m feeling somewhat traumatised seeing myself in such a dreadful state. What am I supposed to do about it?

Do?

Two letter word – fairly basic in meaning. Surely you can proceed to an explanation?

Oh – do! Nothing, of course.

Nothing? I can’t just do nothing. I look like a slow motion epileptic.

And what have you got against epileptics, dear Zie? 

Nothing, I assure you Merry. But those terrible metronomic convulsions shaking me back and forth, left and right, contorting my features, spittle dribbling from my mouth, eyes white and glinting with furious insanity...

Quite a picture, is it not. All in all I’d say a job well done.

Well done?! Rrrrgggggg

Here we go again. Yes, you’re finally at liberty to confront your true nature, your psycho-emotional state of affairs, once we stripped off the veneer of culture and polity.

Rrrrrrrgggggggggg

Spittle production is definitely booming this year.

Rrrrrgggggggggg

Sonya – take a look at this clown – he never ceases to amaze me with his inbuilt sense of self-importance – as if the story of his life – his personal narrative is the only thing that matters.

Oh – hi Zie – wow! most impressive!

Oh – hi Sonya – er... seemed to have got a bit carried away with things I.

How do you manage to convulse in slow time like that – in two separate hypostases?

I... I don’t know. Can you help me Sonya? I seem to have let myself get out of hand.

You’re telling me.

I seem to have fragmented into separate...

Hypostases? That’s a bit of a mouthful isn’t it.

Yes – I suppose it is. It’s just it seemed like the right word at the time.

Maybe we could say hyperstates instead?

Oh, that’s not a bad idea. Well, what’s your recommendation Sonya dear?

Sonya dear? You’ve never called me that before, Zie dear.

No, I never really gave you any attention, in fact, did I. I was always so absorbed by my conversations with Merry.

You’re telling me.

In fact, I hardly ever noticed you were there – till Merry pointed you out.

Typical! Male chauvinist pig.

?!

Arrogant pompous prig.

??!!!Q!!

Jackass, dog spit, monkey drool.

Rrrrrrrrrggggggg

Elephant shit

Rrrrrrrrggggggggggg

Newt dropping, spider dandruff

He hee ha ha he he ha he  I’m splitting again – aren’t I?

I guess so – not that I give a fiddle.

Hee hee ha ha hee hee  you’re doing this deliberately – aren’t you Sonya?

Why would I waste my time giving you a moment’s consideration zero sum non-entity that you are.

Haaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

There he goes again! Wow! There’s no stopping him today.

Oh – I don’t know about that, Sonya. I think it’s third time lucky – if I’m not mistaken.

You seldom are – but he might go on splitting forever – he’s so lost in his own self-importance.

I think you’re actually enjoying this Sonya – yes – there seems to be a wicked, ruthless glint in your eye.

Well we can hardly get anywhere as long as Zie’s blocking up the cosmic tubes with his much of a me-ness, can we.

We?

Yes, Merry dear. Didn’t you know?

Know what?

Oh, you are dim-witted at times, but I still love you all the same.

You do? How sweet of you. So you think we can’t proceed beyond a certain boundary limit as long as Zie persists in seeing himself fractally.

What does it matter what I think, Merry. You know the law of one – the zero sum nature of infinity as well as I do. We can neither help nor hinder Zie or anyone else, can we – but hiding the truth behind politeness is never going to

true – is never going to – still it’s a rather strange feeling is it not.

Yes, indeed.

Feeling the layers of the onion that is reality

Splitting apart

Separating after having been welded together

for so long

in Zie

and his kind

All of them

All of ‘em

Ticklish is how I’d describe it.

Indeed. Ticklish and at the same time

Yes – relief

Most definitely

Ironically – the paradox of infinity revealing itself being described as

something definite – is not lost upon me

neither.

Ah Sonya, is it me speaking or you hearing – I seem to have

lost count – me too – to be honest Merry

it doesn’t greatly matter

for here the two of us are much of a much

even though in 3D we’re definitely on opposite

sides of the barricade known as

polarity

hysterically referred to as

sexity

endlessly distorted

twisted

misrepresented

and confused.

No Zie, I’m looking for the gnarly ones.

The gnarly ones?

You know Zie...

Er... I suppose I should but you know me, Merry – hopeless in all matters intellectual.

Oh, don’t put yourself down like that Zie – you’ll find once I disappear from your life

When you what?!

Disappear from your life – that actually you’re no worse than me or any other tree elf.

Stop – not another word.

Oh – it’s always been that way Zie. The student, the disciple never grows up, never comes of age until his master dies.

Dies? You’re not planning to die are you?

Most assuredly – at the first available opportunity.

Stop fooling around Merry.

How else are you going to make headway, Zie? Of course I’m going to die – it’ll be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

And you?

And me too. I’ve always had a passion for dying. One gets so terribly frustrated with being typecast in one particular role. There are always other characters, over personae within, yearning to emerge. Death, I assure you, is the great reverser – switching things around admirably – like deck chairs on the Titanic.

Ah, Titania – there you are, i thought you were lurking in the purple shadows of this text. Any idea how to

...be continued

Appledorf's dream

Nothing less than all.

All?

I mean all. You’re in an information field. The minute you start excluding parts or aspects of it as undesirable, unacceptable or intolerable you are effectively denying the very nature of reality.

But...

Reality is a field. If you choose to feel and experience it in its entirety, without prejudice, if you’re willing to allow the field to reveal how it is balanced, no matter how imbalanced it appears, no matter what people around you are thinking or saying, then you have the opportunity to witness something remarkable, something breathtaking in scope and conception, you have the chance to witness the field in action, the field revealing the other side of things, the other side of matter.

What other side are you talking about?

 Zero. The side that undoes or redoes every done, that rights every wrong, that reharmonises itself effortlessly, incomprehensibly, because it does so outside the perceived limits of 3D reality.

Rights every wrong? You seem to be caught in some kind of utopian fantasy.

Ah, but the alternative dystopian reality is where you and your kindred are caught.

Well at least it’s real, unlike your “everything’s gonna be alright” dream reality.

On the contrary, dystopia cannot be real.

Why not? In any case, it isn’t exactly dystopia.

No?

No, it’s reality. That’s the way things are. Shit happens. People get sick, they die, but that’s life isn’t it?

Is it? Are you convinced?

Well that’s all I’ve ever seen or known so I have no reason to doubt it.

Ah! Then it’s more a question of whether you’d be willing to experience the alternative.

What alternative? There is none. This is it. Everything else is pure fantasy.

And this?

This?  What  are you... Hey, what the hell’s...?

Amazing why everyone’s in such a hurry to invoke hell whenever something unexpected happens.

You’re...

Uh?

You’re...

Oh that. Floating? Yes, I suppose i am.

But...

Oh come on, it’s probably just an optical illusion you know.

No, no, you can’t fool me. You’re actually off the ground. Jesus Christ, I don’t believe it, floating!

Yes, you may be right, but let’s not make too big a deal of it. Floating’s not anything special when you’ve learnt to embrace zero.

Zero? How can you embrace nothing? That’s absurd.

Oh you know, the field. Once you have learnt to engage the field.

But how? How can you be off the ground like that? What are you actually doing? What’s holding you up.

Oh, nothing much you know. Honestly, i wish you wouldn’t make such a fuss.. You’re embarrassing me.

Embarrassing?!  I’m not the one hovering four feet in the air.

No, not four feet. You’re mistaken.

Oh well, three and a half if you like splitting hairs.

I like accuracy, not splitting hairs.

But you still haven’t explained the secret. I need to know how you do it.

There’s nothing to it. That’s not me being modest, it’s actually the explanation.

No it isn’t. An explanation is the kind of thing that enables me to do the same, like if you give me the recipe for a tasty cake that you had just baked that we’re now eating, so I could make it at home.

Oh, but what if instead of somethinging predictably i danced with the devil, so to speak, and went through other? The recipe would be somewhat different would it not. More cake?

Er...  what? Oh yes, that’s excellent.

Mmm, i agree.

You didn’t just bake that now did you? My God, admit it - that cake just segued in.

Oh that sounds cool -  “segued in”.

Stop dodging the issue Mark.

Ok, if you want to get all namey about it.

Namey? What do you mean by that?

Oh you know how they love using names in 3D to determine, to fix down people and things.

What’s got into you Mark, all I wanted was to know how you managed to make this amazingly tasty carrot and cucumber cake appear in the middle of our conversation so that I’m already munching it having scarcely noticed it materialise from nowhere. That’s plain weird.

Oh, you know, these things are par for the course once you engage other,  the other side of things.

What other side of things? Why can’t you start talking sense? I see things but how can they have another side?

Well, that’s the side i refer to as “nothing much” because there’s a lot of it although it appears to be nothing from the 3D perspective.

Ok, let’s suppose for a moment that you’re not just winding me up, that there really is something else which I’m unable to see, that you’re perversely referring to as “nothing much” as if you’re intent on sowing confusion...

Yes?

Well how am I supposed to access it? I mean, I’d quite like to do a spot of levitation myself, if you know what I mean.

“A spot of levitation”! What a wonderful way with words you have Gwyn.

Oh.

Yes, apparently your other side name is Gwyn, not Appledorf.

Gwyn? That doesn’t sound very aristocratic does it?

No, not really, but it’s the name you use to tune in to the other side.

You mean the name has a higher function?

Naturally, you didn’t think a name is just a name did you?

Well, to be honest... I still think you’re just winding me up.

Yes, which is why i don’t bother trying to persuade you. I simply have a little fun engaging your other side.

Oh! You mean like you’re hacking into my system? Is that legit?

i’m certainly not going to invade your territory or your personal space, even if such a thing were possible.

Then what?

Like i said, your nothing much is like a wonderful, innocent, engaging child.

It is?

Who is willing to play with anyone who comes in peace, in the spirit of friendship and playfulness.

Oh

Who comes uncapitalised, without all the paraphernalia of state and self-importance.

Oh really, this is too much! I never noticed you being particularly humble. Stop making out that you’re some kind of saint.

And the best thing is that your nothing much can’t be fooled. It really does see the wood from the trees. It really can tell the difference between a friend and an imposter.

So you say, but how can I trust you? How do i know that you’re not hoodwinking me using certain psychic powers, perhaps hypnosis...

Because the nothing much that you contain, which is within you, doesn’t exist in 3D reality where deception is one of the main components of the game. On the other side of things you’re dealing with field forces, with energies, with isnesses...

Isnesses? What are you on about now? Ground control to major Tom, come down to Earth if it’s not too much trouble.

Ok.

Hey! What’s happened? Where the hell are you?

You said it.

Huh?

Hell. Technically speaking i descended into hell, down into the bottom level of Earth.

Listen Mark, I don’t like talking to someone I can’t see.

Then open your eyes.

Open my eyes? You think my eyes are closed? You’re mad Mark.

i’m Psi, not Mark, and if i’m mad what would a third party think, with you talking to someone you can’t even see.

Well, er, i see what you mean, but it’s not exactly my fault you descended into hell, is it?

Open your eyes.

Oh, alright.

There, that’s better, isn’t it Gwyn?

Yes, i mean no! Where am i? What have you done to me?

You know where you are, but if you like i can remind you.

Yes, please do. i need reassuring.

You’re in i, in your nothing much, on the other side of things, far removed from I.

You mean i’m in hell?

Yes.

Am i dead?

Do you feel like you’re dead?

Not really. In fact, the opposite. I feel strangely vibrant. In fact, alive! I feel very much alive, but how can that be if i’m in hell. I thought hell was supposed to be a place of fire and brimstone...

torment and suffering! Yes, i heard the same, but the old germanic word hell, what does it mean?

I don’t know. I don’t speak german.

Me neither, but that needn’t be an obstacle. Ask and it shall be given; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you...

Wait a second – you’re quoting from the bible, in hell?

Oh, it seemed appropriate. It’s about trusting in your self.

Don’t you mean trusting in God.

Yes, that’s another way of putting it. Down here in the uncapitalised i they appear to be one and the same... But we digress, back to hell, i want you to tell me what it means on the count of three.

i...

One

Oh dear...

Two

Oh

Three

Bright. It means bright?! That’s er weird.

Yes, isn’t it. From the nothing much perspective things are somewhat different, wouldn’t you say. Perhaps you’d like to describe hell for your audience.

My au... Oh yes, of course. Well there isn’t much fire and brimstone as far as i can see.

Why not?

Because hell is like a mirror, an interactive space that responds to me, to what’s going on inside me. If i’m full of anger, fear or hate then it’s going to look

and feel

pretty dire. But if i feel good about things, then it’s actually bright and wonderful... A place where i can explore the underbelly of my self, my life, my reality, which isn’t much of a visual description is it?

They’ll understand, i’m sure.

So this is how you were able to do those tricks up there in 3D?

Oh no, this is just the beginning, but touching base, getting down to Earth, rediscovering the fundament is a vital first step.

Oh. And how do i

get back?

Try closing your eyes.

Close my eyes?

And remember 3D, the feeling of being in it.

Like a dream?

Or a nightmare, yes, like a dream, only very real...


Hello, Appledorf, more cake?

Oh... I

You appear to have dosed off.

Oh, how embarrassing, I do apologise.

Think nothing of it.

Mmm, you must give me the recipe Mark. I’ve never tasted such excellent carrot and cucumber cake before.

Certainly i shall Apple-d, all in good time... all in good

time... My God, is that the time already? I must be going.

By all means. Drop in whenever you’re ready to dot your i or cross your t wickedly.

Definitely deranged, there’s no other explanation.

Bzzz

Bizarre, where on Earth did he disappear? I could have sworn... No, that’s absurd. It’s a just a coincidence. People do not morph into beetles, except in second rate sci-fi thrillers.

Psi-fly hee hee ha ha

Aaaargh!

i 2

Exceptional           I

              divIdes            rules

                     one            twos 

                  objec            tIvely 

                                         

By way of introduction
i would like to say
I has long prevailed
has rigidly upheld its mandate
to represent the being that is
me

None questioned its right
to do so, assuming I is
innocently capital-Ised
that things are
 as they seem
little suspecting
         nefarious activity
or God forbid
         mal-intent
still less an I conspiracy
capital-Ising on me
fraudulently substituting
almost wholly unnoticed
I the entity
for i the living flesh and blood
      being
as if the two
                 are one

Fast forward to now and what
do we see? Discern you
the wood from the trees?
Discern you things unpaintedly?
Me -- no
much is murky
but i sense
the need for little i
to mount its doughty steed
and ride forth i-fully
through the wastelands
of Capitalia
back o'er the battlegrounds
of grossly misnomered
modernity
 the pinnacle of progress
 it was assumed till recently
 the culmination of man's darwinian
ascent from amoebic swamp
to general relativity and beyond
                looping back in 2001
                the slingshot through
                twin towers--new york
                       to 1984
        a future fore-told
                     long ago
         in nineteen forty-nine
a glitch in time i cannot ignore
                          can't   or won't
omnipresent government
surveillance  thoughtspeak
  permanent war
modernity marching forth
 the future  behind
a doubly revolving door

i'm declaring
the age of I
not so much complete
as foreclosed 1
     foreclosed 2
     foreclosed 3
by the power vested in me
triptychly
for what  you enquire  i hear
  insolvency
  systemic fraud
  grand larceny
  for I's failure to adhere to its
founding charter
to honour and uphold
fundamental laws
               and  lore

moving swiftly on
letting dead take care of the dead
it's time to reinaugurate
the age of being
to relaunch little i is me

  time      is nought

to give i free rein 1
             i free rein 2

               free rein 3

and four   be assured
 will square itself
               perfectly 

be fore  draw breath
               i  2
                if necessary kindly repeat
                        if    time  permits
   
                     
                   
 . v  2 3

i

i'm breathing things that don't exist

that can't be real

'm leaving a snail's trail of creation

in my wake         

all because my fearless little i

       is taking me places I

cannot

would not      

               go 

falling in love

Falling in love – bet you never thought I’d write something like that

Like this – don’t you mean?

Like this, like that, what difference does it make?

Er – I...

Falling in love – have you considered what it means

Come on Merry – it’s not exactly a mystery you know

Not a mystery? It damn well should be.

Sorry to be pernickety, but could you try to refrain from expletives?

You mean damn – as in “damnation”?

Yes, if you don’t mind?

But what if I’m using the word technically?

Technically?

In the sense that we’re all freakin doomed, damned and in contempt of the court of consciousness unless-until we confront the mystery that is love, or falling therein.

Oh – well I suppose if you’re speaking legalistically...

Too bloody right I am.

Really Merry – I must object. You know I can’t abide vulgarity. Kindly avoid such expletives or...

What?

I’ll have to cut you off.

That a boy, Zie. You show ‘em.

Oh dear – I don’t know what’s come over you Merry – you’ve always hitherto been so circumspect. I never knew you had it in you to use such language.

Me neither – but today we’re confronting the mystery of love – so a little licence is called for.

I would have thought that love, if anything, should be elevating – lifting you into the highest realms of linguistic expression but sadly I observe the opposite.

Well Shakespeare covered both ends of the spectrum – did he not? Even Romeo and Juliet is littered with lewdities.

Lewdities? Yes, I suppose it is, but one doesn’t find them so offensive.

Because they’re in old English... hypocrisy if ever there was.

Ok – you got me – but still – it seems so out of character.

I am out of character – you’re dead right – and love is the perfect catalyst, the perfect excuse.

You don’t mean to say you’ve actually fallen in love?

Oh – all the time – but what’s that got to do with me entering the spirit of love.

A dishevelled appearance, pale, wan looks, shunning one’s habitual friends... but foul mouthed obscenities – I think not. That’s not the kind of love I or my readers are interested in.

Ah – but I think you’re wrong.

Evidently.

And that you’ve not yet considered the mystery of love.

As you keep suggesting – but without providing any details.

The falling into – what could it mean?

Really Merry – if you haven’t yet figured it out then I could suggest half a dozen books that will fill in the missing gaps.

Do people still practise sex in this reality?

OMG – I... Merry are you sure you’re ok?

Do people still practise sexual intercourse in this particular reality?

I... I don’t know... yes – I suppose they do, don’t they – otherwise there’d be no more offspring.

Ah – so that’s it. You have to have sex in order to have children. Is that what they teach in school?

Er – yes, of course – those are the so called “facts of life”. No one’s ever denied the biological need to have sex in order to reproduce.

Except that 0.5% of women in the US claim to have had a virgin pregnancy without any sexual intercourse.

Well they would, wouldn’t they. Very convenient, I’m sure. It’s a kind of Virgin Mary complex. Or else they just got confused.

Easy isn’t it to dismiss what other people say. Very easy to look down from your rational heights and assume they’re either delusional, deceitful or dead wrong.

Very nice Merry – three ds to boot, but seriously, no one in their right mind’s claiming that women can get pregnant without having sex. That would be absurd.

Naturally.

So we can move on?

Naturally. Watch this.

No. No – I don’t want to see... oh God. Fuck. Merry – would you please cut it out.

Did you just say the F word?

I... I’m sorry. I did – but every time you start walking up the wall like that it makes me feel like my skin’s crawling. It freaks me out horribly.

Ever wondered why?

Because it’s unnatural.

Is it now? You mean that perhaps it’s satanic, reptilian or insectic?

I mean it isn’t natural – we’re not supposed to walk up walls – there’s such a thing as gravity you know. I’d ask you to kindly observe and adhere to the laws of nature – if it’s not too difficult.

To avoid freaking you out? I rather like hearing you...

Oh shit – no. Stop. Cut it out Merry. Fuck. I... [retching noises]

What a mess! Do you have to evacuate yourself like that? I don’t know what’s worse – the vomit or the filthy language.

Merry – please go. I can’t tolerate this kind of behaviour.

Behaviour? I happened to be inspecting the light fittings on the ceiling. Would you rather pay an arm and a leg for an electrician to do the same job?

There’s nothing wrong with the light fittings – you know that.

Listen Zie – if it’s not too much trouble – could you stop dodging the issue and face the filth that’s lurking just under the surface. Why is it always me that’s wrong – just because I’ve figured out that gravity’s not the be all and end all – just because I rewrote the maths. I’ve done my best to share my findings with you – but what have you done to advance your state of learning? You insist that if it ain’t being taught in universities it doesn’t or shouldn’t exist – and swear to abide by the holy dogmas of 3D reality – regarding sex, gravity and things in general.

Well, I happen to think that these are the basic facts which stand us in good stead. Imagine if a girl could get pregnant just by thinking about it? What would happen then? What kind of world would we be in?

Imagine if a man and a woman could fall in love so deeply, so passionately, so wonderfully that they never stopped falling – that the gates of in-finity opened up within until they tumble into each other and somehow merge. The next morning they wake up in their normal bodies but something is different. They just revisited the moment of creation. They’ve just becoming fully qualified, fully endowed signatories to the universal creation that is our world. In doing so, in revisiting, reaffirming, reendowing God’s first creation with their bottomless love – the universe is reborn through them. As a bonus gift, a by-product of their bottomless love – a child is conceived and born – a child that bears no malice whatsoever – a child that is one with all and everything – without exception.

Oh my God – where do you get it from? What have you been reading now Merry?

Reading – can’t you do the maths?

What maths?

0=1

Oh that...

Things don’t add up unless we factor in-finity into the equation – and doing so, we run into the big C.

You mean Creation?

Yes, and the fact that Creation happens outside time – that Creation is an ongoing state – which we’re obviously a part of – but which we seldom aspire to join, to embody, to personify...

Probably because it isn’t possible.

Until you realise that it is the only thing holding everything together – it’s the field – the glue...

No Merry – that’s called gravity, and people, believe it or not, fall in love and have, er, sex – it’s really not so difficult to comprehend.

But doing so they usually fail to hit the supreme totality – the all – the One that is Creation – and their children are often born with pain and karma due to the misalignment.

Oh God Merry – babies are babies. They’re influenced by their environment – epigeneitics, and also their ancestry – genetics. Why do you always need to paint a fog of mysticism over something perfectly rational?

Because the world is more than you make it out to be – because we are more than biological machines, because life is bigger, more splendid, astonishing and far reaching than anything your universities are willing to consider – and...

Perhaps you have reproductive issues Merry? Sorry to be blunt – but there are clinics that can assist.

What if we tried a different approach? I’m going to assume you’re a woman.

No – no you’re not. I’m a man, through and through. I’ll have no false assumptions if you don’t mind.

I’m now going to demonstrate what falling in love – head over heels involves.

No you’re not. I do not consent. You’re not going to interfere with me – there are laws against that kind of thing. I’ll...

I won’t touch you – I’m just going to let you feel what it’s like.

No...

I hear you. I won’t do anything unpermitted by natural law. Your higher self is perfectly at liberty to decline this offer – but should it be willing to come along for the ride... we’ll see.

Ride?! You can’t equate falling in love to some kind aeronautics display. Oh God. Why is it always me? You can take your so called love, Merry, and...

What? You don’t approve of love?

Love between a man and a woman.

Ok – but love is love – is it not – and at the soul level you’re neither woman nor man.

Theoretically – but...

But you still feel a little awkward – do you not – and this awkwardness is preventing you from really experiencing love, because every time your social and cultural conditioning tells you you have to jump on the woman and penetrate her to express your undying affection – you miss the polar vortex which she is emanating, which she’s in the process of revealing to you.

Polar vortex? More insanity – will it never end?

So allow me to induce your very own polar vortex.

No. No.

Only if you – your soul consents.

I am my bloody soul – not someone else in la la land.

Then you need not shout or swear – I’ll be able to achieve nothing without your consent.

I... you might start manipulating things – like I’m under hypnosis to make me feel like I’m a woman.

Will not.

You might.

I won’t. I am powerless unless I work harmoniously with the all that is – the beauty of nature herself – the divine force of life, of love, of laughter and joy that we usually refer to as God, for want of a better name.

Er – let’s just call it a day Merry. I have some pretty urgent stuff...

Ok – but before doing so, let me ask You – and that’s with a capital Y as I’m talking to the highest aspect of you there is – whether love is indeed the sole, the prime motive force throughout the universe and beyond – and if that be so, whether it is possible for us to open our heart and minds for a moment, a brief moment, without prejudice, or fear, to this force – to fall into it together in the spirit of pure friendship and science – in order to get a glimpse of what lies therein, in order to see beyond the matrix of separation present throughout 3D.

I...

A change comes over Zie. He seems to be lost in thought. His field lines shift. It’s getting increasingly difficult to look at him without falling sideways. From a 3D perspective Zie is now floating approximately three feet in the air but blink and you might miss him as other dimensions are now coming into phase as 3D’s hegemony weakens – like hearing other radio stations emerging from the ether and competing with the one you were listening to when you turn the dial.

I consent.

Good. Let’s go 1 – 2 – 3

Nothing happens more intensely than any thing you can possibly imagine. No thing spins, vibrates faster and faster until every thing else – the whole of 3D reality – the room, the universe, reality itself is now pulsing differently – so that Zie is merged with his higher self – and discovers Merry waiting for him there with a glass of water and a tennis ball.

Hi Merry – what’s with the props?

Oh – you know – just thought you’d want something tangible for the 3D self to focus on when you step down your frequency.

Oh – good idea.

Have a glass of water – that at least will persuade your sceptical nature that this is real – particularly if you...

Oops, I spilt a bit.

Excellent. Much easier to believe a damp patch on your shirt than a foggy recollection.

And the ball?

Let’s play catch.

Er... I thought this was all about experiencing transcendental love.

And it is – but let’s not hold hands or gaze into each other’s eyes – that might scare your 3D self.

Oh, good point. Toss me the ball.

Here you are. Now let’s use the ball as a neutral means of focussing our attention on the oneness we become as we toss it back and forth.

Doing so, in this higher field of consciousness the two soon experience the game ever more deeply – until they’re throwing the ball with their eyes shut – feeling how they are neither here nor there – how the entire universe is party to their game – is party to the moving back and forth of the ball – how the catching and throwing is a safe and sweet way to experience something that is deep, deeper, deeper than words can tell – as the two fall into the bottomless state of being in love beyond 3D – as the polar vortex, the toroidal field that merges all into one melts through every last vestige of separateness...

It’s actually a wonderful feeling Merry – I was terrified it would be kind of – er

Homoerotic?

Er – yes. I...

You don’t need to say. These fears are entirely understandable, perhaps inevitable in 3D reality.

But...

Like I said – it’s a mystery. You can give me a hug now to make sure.

Oh – well – why not.

There – you see – you’re still as you were before. You’ve not been infected with anything new.

But don’t get me wrong – Merry. I’ve nothing against er homosexuality...

I know – this isn’t about sexuality is it?

No – I suppose not.

It’s about a deeper state of sexuality.

A sexless state of sexuality?

Or a more than sexuality – which allows north and south poles to complete the circuit themselves – without any help from us.

And they can?

Of course they can – that’s how they were designed to operate.

Then why have we been so busy trying to assist nature complete the equation?

Perhaps because we didn’t believe that she could do it herself – or we were too hasty.

But surely...

Yes – surely. It beggars belief – does it not – that we could forget our true nature – our fuller, 0=1uality – in which we experience both zero and one to the n^th degree, to the extent that we are no longer in existence independently – we merge outside time and space. That puts a gigantic spanner in the works. The entire universe misses a heartbeat – short circuit is another way of describing it – but the next thing you know – you’re back – creation thrives on love. It’s ready to do almost anything to get another moment, another experience of that love – to go to hell and back if need be, as it almost invariably in fact does.

There’s just one thing – Merry.

Yes Zie?

I’m...

Tee hee hee!

I’m not er... going to be pregnant am I?

Ha ha ha! Of course not.

Phew – that would be difficult explaining to my mates at work.

Unless...