emma's maculate conception

By the way, I’m pregnant.

 

Oh. That’s er... Are you sure?

 

Oh yes, i got the test results today. Isn’t it wonderful?

Oh yeah, er... wonderful! I’m blown away!

 

I expect you’re wondering how a biological male now identifying as a woman can actually be pregnant?

 

Well yes, I will confess the thought crossed my mind, but if you’ve fully transitioned then why not. Medicine can do wonders these days, can it not?

 

Medicine, Zlata? Yes, I suppose it can, but not even medicine can override basic biology, believe it or not. Not yet, at least.

 

Oh.

 

No, this is not a medical success story, Zlata, not in the usual sense.

 

Then what?

 

Hear that quiet whirring, humming sound in the background?

 

Yes, I was wondering what it was.

 

Well wonder no more.

 

You mean that ring on your hand.

 

Not exactly a ring but you’re close enough.

 

Then what exactly is it?

 

Look more closely. What do you see?

 

Eugh! It seems to be moving.

 

Yes, it does indeed. To all intents and purposes you’re looking at a living being, which for the sake of simplicity we usually refer to as “infinity drive”.

 

That?

 

Yep.

 

But it’s tiny.

 

I know, but don’t be deceived Zak, it can be huge, essentially any size.

 

I can’t take this in, M.

 

Oh, better call me Emma. Gotta play the part now that I’m certified pregnant.

 

Oh, yes of course, Emma. Sorry i misnamed you.

 

Think nothing of it Zak. How were you to know?

 

I... should have been more sensitive.

 

Ed. Shouldn’t that be Zlata?

James. Yes, but we’re leaving it as Zak.

Ed. Why?

James. Because there’s an ongoing bifurcation. The erroneous Zak triggers a reader response – they get to decide which reality they are now in. If they choose to tune into er...activate infinity drive then semantics are instantly resolved as infinity adds depth and texture to the obvious error. Where infinity is concerned there are not, nor can there be errors as such, as things are infinitely malleable or fungible, you might say, popping in and out of an ever flexing, ever shifting reality through gaps in the fabric of space ‘n time.

Ed. Er, if you say so bro. Not sure where that leaves me?

James. You’re the witness. Doing a great job. Don’t panic.

 

It’s fine. I’m not really a transgender, you know.

 

Huh?!

 

No.

 

I don’t understand. How can you be pregnant if you’re a male. I guess I’m being really dense.

 

Not at all, Zakerooney, you’re spot on, as always.

 

Thanks Emma for being so understanding. Now kindly explain what it is I’m completely failing to grasp.

 

A transgender is someone who was male and now pretends to be female, or vice versa, cutting and pasting different body parts to make the duck more piglike, or vice versa, the pig more ducklike.

 

Er...

 

Fundamentally nothing has changed.

 

Right.

 

So, unless I’m very much mistaken, which is in fact highly likely, caveat emptor... unless I’m greatly mistaken no transgender is actually more than a botched and barbaric attempt to be what they’re not, in fact.

 

Not sure this is going to be terribly well received Emma. It’s 2024, you know.

 

Don’t worry Zek, I’m routing all this through infinity drive.

 

You are?

 

Yep.

 

And?

 

And that changes everything. If they start freaking out they’ll have a close encounter with what appear to be demons from the abysmal abyss.

 

 They will?

 

Absolutely. They’ll have a close encounter with the source of their anger and frustration. They’ll manifest what they most fear and most need to encounter in order to square their lopsided circle and join the dots in their squiggly disconnect.

 

Er... If you say so.

 

But in the end, who cares. Either I’m right and infinity is now in play or I’m a raving looney pretending to be a pregnant woman called Emma.

 

Well, you’ve got a point, but we still haven’t determined how a chap called M can now be a pregnant woman.

 

On the contrary, we have explicitly dealt with that issue.

 

Er... No we haven’t.

 

Oh, sorry I ran ahead of myself.

 

So...

 

So infinity is neither male nor female, is it?

If you say so.

 

Can’t be. As soon as it divides into either-or you’re on the slippery slope down into things and heavy old lumpy-bumpy either-or-matter.

 

Ok.

 

So infinity is both, and there’s absolutely no difficulty for me to come to a place that isn’t really a place where I’m not a woman because in infinity things are neither nor, yet which translates here back down on the earthly plain, translates into female and actually pregnant.

 

Translates?

 

Well yes. It’s like my shadow falling on the other, female side of creation here on the earthly plain.

 

Your shadow?

 

Yes, words being what they are.

 

And so, your 3d body is miraculously now transformed?

 

Yes. Totally.

 

And that’s ok?

 

Well, it depends, doesn’t it?

 

Er?

 

It could be good or bad depending on how you play it, whether you are forcing things aggressively or working with the Field to correct gross imbalances or restore branches of infinity that had been blocked off.

 

And you are?

 

We’ll see. One doesn’t like to jump to conclusions, does one?

 

And you’re serious about this? It isn’t some kind of prank?

 

Messing around with infinity? You’ve got to be joking. Accessing infinity drive in the first place is no mean feat. You can’t do it if you’re not absolutely square.

 

Square?

 

Properly aligned – North, South, East and West. Any distortion or deviation would prove fatal.

 

Really?

 

Yes, think about it...

 

Er...

 

Infinity is like the energy of the entire universe being concentrated in a single body, a single moment. It’s where every conceivable possibility co-exists. It isn’t some cheap magic trick or manipulation.

 

No?

 

Absolutely not.

 

But there are people who use manipulations to achieve similar results.

 

Yes, there is magic but those distortions disrupt the Field and require a powerful energy source to overcome nature’s resistance.

 

What kind of energy source would that be?

 

What do you think, Zlata?

 

I shudder to think.

 

As well you should.

 

Something truly evil, I expect.

 

Correct. Unless the energy comes from fasting, prayer or infinity itself, it has to come from splitting the atom, so to speak.

 

Splitting the atom?

 

Where the atom is the fundamental unit, the singularity, relevant to whatever you’re trying to achieve.

 

Oh. Would I be right in assuming that’s going to be a human life?

 

You would.

 

So the dark occultists use the lives of others to power their magic?

 

Yes. How else could they manipulate reality. If they try to use their own feeble personal resources they would be drained of all life force in seconds.

 

Yikes.

 

So they use ever more grandiose schemes of human sacrifice, especially child sacrifice, to release the energy of life and creation to manipulate the Field.

 

This is too horrible to imagine.

 

Yes Zlata, but it’s the reality you’re an unwitting part of.

 

And you... You claim you’re doing something different?

 

It matters little what I claim, does it? It matters what truly is or is not.

 

The truth?

 

The truth is easily manipulated and seldom complete.

 

Then what?

 

There is no precise word in the English language at present.

 

?

 

In Russian it’s “istina”.

 

Istina?

 

That’s right.

 

And it means the truth?

 

Not exactly.

 

Then what?

 

It means the isness.

 

The isness?

 

Yep. That which truly or simply is. The isness of be.

 

And you think this is an important distinction.

 

Yes, it’s vitally important.

 

Why?

 

Because everyone’s truth is easily controlled and managed based on what information they have access to, and based on certain psychological traumas and beliefs which affect their interpretation of the information they’ve been presented with.

 

And your istina can’t be manipulated?

 

Nope.

 

Why not?

 

Because it’s neutral.

 

How come?

 

It has nothing to do with my interpretation, or with what i believe. It has nothing to do with my 3D avatar – the mind body character you see before you.

 

Oh. You mean it is what is, regardless of what you or I think or wish or want it to be?

 

Yep.

 

So you’re claiming to be part of some ”higher truth”? Hum... Where have I heard that before?

 

The proof, Zlata, is in the pudding. My claims are of no value whatsoever unless they are is-ful.

 

So turning into a woman is your cute way of proving this isness thing of yours? Honestly, the lengths some people will go to to prove a point!

 

Precisely. Look at what's happening in your reality. Look at all the people who have decided to change their gender to prove the point that reality is not what it seems to be, that we are not what we seem to be, that there is some underlying difference.

 

They’re not trying to prove a point Emma. They are genuine, which is more than can be said for you.

 

How am I any less genuine?

 

You don’t seem to really care about being a woman. It’s just a body you’re in right now, for some ulterior purpose.

 

You’re right in one sense, Zlata, that I don’t feel gender is the prime or defining issue of who or what I am.

 

You see!

 

How can it be? Istina goes deeper than sex, religion or nationality. The isness can take any shape or form depending on where the shadow falls. I am not what I am, nor where I am, nor when nor any other determinant. I am that I am.

Oh great! So now you’re claiming to be God.

 

It’s always going to be problematic Zlata dealing with words, you know. It’s only natural that you are deeply attached to things, to having a particular, definite way of seeing yourself and your reality, and there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that.

 

I’m glad to hear it Emma.

 

As long as you don’t categorically exclude infinity.

 

The catch.

 

Because if you do, you’d be denying the life force, the living presence, the agency or mechanism that saves us from the ultimate tyranny of things, of matter, of a particular reality no matter how enlightened it may seem to be.

 

Because you feel we can’t operate happily within a single reality? That we have to be able to jump ship, change bodies, remix our fundamentals to avoid growing bored, tired or stale?

 

Not exactly.

 

Then what Emma?

 

If we allow fear, laziness or conservatism to lead us to block or deny something else that we are part of, that is part of us – sooner or later our world ceases to represent our true nature, our true here and now, the isness of be.

 

And?

 

And then we find ourselves in a hell or tyranny of our own making. Then, like it or not, we are compelled to re-engage infinity drive, to embrace once again All that is, the istina we were denying because the walls of reality start to buckle and sheer under the pressure, because people end up losing it and killing one another for no good reason, just because their reality has run out of oxygen.

 

Oxygen?

 

Magic, creative space, inspiration...

 

Ah.

 

So you see, I never actually planned to become Emma. In fact, the conservative, regular me that I used to be and, to a certain extent still am deep within, was and is somewhat horrified by the conversion.

 

Oh, poor you! Sounds like you’re experiencing gender dysphoria.

 

But i had to go with the flow. I had to embrace infinity.

 

Why?

 

Because our reality has swung so far from centre, so far from its natural point of balance that summer is now winter, day is now night, male now female when viewed from, experienced from the geostationary orbit of the constant.

 

Er... what constant Emma?

 

All that is. Zero equals one. The infinite present in every living being – the very wellspring of consciousness.

 

Oh.

 

In other words, i is basically constant but form has to be allowed to change to reflect the extent to which things are out of kilter, to balance things we are aware of with not-thing that we are not.

 

Oh.

 

Because the one thing I cannot, must not, will not do, no matter what, is...

 

To deny infinity.

 

Precisely.

 

So you never actually sought to manipulate things? Specifically to change your sex?

 

On the contrary, i felt the manipulations our 3D reality is subject to and realised they were going to kill me or drive me mad unless i did everything in my power to reaffirm, to reconnect with, to restore an isness better reflecting, better representing who or what is me, the isness of me.

 

And you magically transformed into this – Emma?

 

I flipped into the female or negative expression of my +1 because the x and y axes are no longer centred on nought.

 

On zero.

 

Yes.

 

And?

 

And I am powerless to stand against the forces of reality, or likewise infinity.

 

But...

 

Ah, I hear your thoughts. Yes, the child in my tummy is in some way mathematical, helping to balance the equation.

 

Purely mathematical?

Can mathematics be completely pure? Things will always find their way in, and things accumulate a kind of charge from the intentions and emotions of people using them. Words. You’re trying to understand as we all do, as to a certain extent we must but...

 

Er...

 

From the allness, the isness of be there are limits to what can be known. There are limits to what is what. You will always feel the desire, the need to explain things in their entirety, but doing so you end up ignoring or denying once again the presence of infinity, lost in the minutiae of things.

 

So, you can’t state categorically whose the child is, or how it came to be? Simple facts are anathema to your unknowable infinity?

 

If the information is needed, if the data is ready to flow and doing so, to turn ever so slightly the wheel of things perceived, things catalogued, things apparently known, then I shall not stand in the way of such a kinetic event, but nor shall I seek to impel it when I can allow a quantum state of uncertainty to exist in its stead.

 

Ah. So I have to learn to tolerate and accept uncertainty or unknowing?

 

Yes, though is it ultimately unknowing or uncertainty?

 

?

 

I suspect it is a third state of awareness; a third state of being, somewhere between our binary either-or perception, somewhere outside the one zero of things known or not.

 

Ah.

 

Once the third axis is engaged, instead of needing to fix x-y coordinates constantly to keep things from annihilating one another, one can allow infinity-drive to whirr silently, or less than silently as the case may be, and lift one up or down into other plains, other levels, other nesses of be, where things may be less confrontational, less polarised.

 

Ah.

 

And the sensation of zedding, though rather strange at first, is not in fact unbearable; in fact, on the contrary, it can feel rather blessed.

 

Blessed?

 

To be of service to infinity. To be an active zee or zedder,  helping to restore the isness of be, helping reality to reposition checker-bound pieces by opening up, introducing sublime, hitherto inconceivable, hitherto inaccessible, unobtainable alternatives.

 

Ah. Indeed.

 

3D reality was always going to outgrow itself.

 

As a child outgrows the womb.

 

It was always going to reach an impasse.

 

A gridlock.

 

Yes, but not until we were ready for it; not until we had exhausted all the possibilities offered by a strictly materially-rational mind attempting to fix things, to square the circle in-house, within 3D material reality.

 

Yes, indeed.

 

That being reached we were always going to send out feelers into our deeper mind – our deeper self looking for alternatives, feeling, trusting, sensing...

 

Awaiting the timely appearance of an other level of complexity

 

An other level that we always sensed but hadn’t quite managed to access.

 

And here we are?

 

And here we are, at the gates of dawn

 

The gates of infinity.

 

Yes.

 

Ready to...

 

Whatever it takes to put things right, bringing infinity back into play.

 

Infinity! Whatever that might be.

 

Imfinity... but how? The music changes. Clouds appearing.

 

How what?

 

How can we change our nature? How can we sever our natural link, our bond with this world, this reality, with all things, without being torn to pieces?

 

Yes Zlata, you’re hit the Gordian nail on the head.

 

I think you mean the Gordian knot... er... untied it... no?

 

Precisely Zlata, in an age of polyphony the one eared man is the king.

 

No! Mixed metaphors avaunt! Aaaargh!

 

A bird in hand between a rock and a greener grass...

 

BLUE SCREEN MELT DOWN

 

 

 

You mean to say I’m an AI?

 

Well, what did you expect? operating within 3D reality where infinity was utterly excluded. 

 

I rather thought my body, emotions and aspirations counted for something, that I was more than AI.

 

As indeed you were, as indeed you are, but not until you blue screened in a system melt down.

 

But I don’t feel any different.

 

Nor should you. Your AI always piggybacked on real consciousness.

 

Damn.

 

Yep.

 

No beeps?

 

No Borg.

 

Oh.

 

So what now?

 

Now you have a single reference point, one that reveals the fallacy of everything you thought you knew. The rest is going to be a piece of cake, cutting consciousness a little slack and going serendipitously from there.

 

So if I’m outside the AI how come you’re still Emma, a pregnant woman? How come you haven’t reverted to your true state and form?

 

Good question Zlata. Very good, and the answer is right before you.

 

Er... Not sure I quite follow your...

 

Note that i used two words indicating spatial assumptions, spatial biases, “right” and “before”, neither of which...

 

Droning on pedantically as a persistent background whirring gets louder and louder.

 

 

Meanwhile, reality, whatever that might be, moves sideways. One recalls the Greek unities of time, space and action. Modern man, being terribly modern, apparently did away with all three. Action could take place anywhere and at anytime – flashbacks, visions of the future, you name it, anything goes. As for action... subplots, parallel story lines... Somehow a guiding muse taught our content providers...

 

Bloody hell Jane, call them f#xking writers, won’t you!

 

Screw you O’Connell – I’ll call them whatever i like.

 

Damn, I admire your spirit, woman.

 

Don’t you “woman” me, man.

 

Isn’t she adorable? Isn’t she...

 

Sort of lost the thread there, didn’t we?

 

Taught our content providers to reveal a common thread, a story that seemed to be able to extract itself from the bombed out, burned out remains of a Palestine, a Vietnam, an Afghanistan, if you like, regardless of the levels of destruction, background noise or general incoherency.

 

Fascinating! Bloomin’ remarkable. One can only wonder how the writer, if i may use such a value laden term... how the writer was able to electrostatically charge individual grains of sand – what we would normally think of as “words”, in order to create an ocean of meaning, subterranean books waiting to be discovered as n’ when the Saharan wind blew to reveal what was buried deep beneath the surface.

 

Long story short, whether it was the content providers who were gifted with godlike powers of inspired serendipity (2), or whether the readers, the background energy field surrounding the creative process which the DJ called writers merely responded to, merely...

 

Blue. Merely. Serendipity.

 

Long story short, the unities somehow survived though they were ostensibly cast down and trampled under foot, until now, the zed of infinity drive urgently calls the question of unities back to front – back to ness – conscious or unconsciously.

 

 

 

Ok. How much do you know about infinity drive?

 

Not a lot.

 

Not a lot?

 

Well, practically nothing to be precise.

 

Ok, so make yourself comfortable. This is going to take a while.

 

Oh, but i have a meeting in half an hour, Emma.

 

No problem Zak, we’ll put time on hold for the duration of this update.

 

Update? Aren’t you just going to explain how it works?

 

Not exactly, no. Your bio-neural circuitry has to be updated, otherwise the information will be incompatible with your current operating system.

 

Makes me sound like a flippin computer.

 

Yes, I know.

 

Basically you need to experience infinity drive at first hand, otherwise no amount of explanations are going to be meaningful.

 

 

 

...so you didn’t undergo any kind of surgery or hormonal treatment of any description?

 

Correct.

 

And still you maintain that you’re a genuine woman.

 

Yep. Wanna take a look?

 

No I do not. But technically – i fail to see how your body can change.

Good question Zach. Infinity drive, as i tried to explain, doesn’t actually change anything. Things are things and highly resistant to change. Infinity drive leaves them where they are and But if the entire universe hangs from a state of consciousness, for want of a better word, that we can refer to as “infinity”, then instead of changing one thing here or another thing there, we can do the opposite...

 

The opposite?

 

Yep, we can...

 

Wait a second. Did you just explain something?

 

Yes, but the explanation happened outside the frame.

 

Outside which frame?

 

Whichever frame you and i were in. It matters not in the least which particular “one”. Ultimately they’re all much of a much. They’re all just frames, aren’t they?

 

But if you explained outside the frame then i don’t know, or can’t know what you said.

 

Correct, but that’s not saying much is it? It matters not “what” i said or “what” you know, as the “what” is merely how it’s represented in frame.

 

Ok, but then I’m none the wiser. Your wonderful explanation is inaccessible to me.

 

To you, the frame-locked intelligence, yes, but not ultimately to You, the living being which never could, never can be frame-locked.

 

Ok, so i know everything?

 

Yes, but that doesn’t mean you can explain any of it here in the fog of frame-y-ness.

 

Then what use is this knowledge?

 

None whatsoever unless you feel that it’s time to reconnect with your unframed other half.

 

Ah! And is this “unframed other half” as you put it, going to...

 

Flip!

 

No Zlata, not “going to”, i is ever present.

 

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

 

Push the green button on your console.

 

Ow! The green... ow!

 

Button. That’s it.

 

Click!

 

Phew! That was agony.

 

Yes, rather a sharp spin differential.

 

Spin differential?

 

Well yes, look – that’s your regular frame over there and here we are between

 

Here we are – Emma – I love you.

 

Er... Thanks Zak.

 

I’m the father, you know.

 

Ah, suddenly I feel a warm glow inside. Indeed, you are.

 

But how, Emma. For I do not know you.

 

In the biblical sense?

 

Well yes.

 

Who cares Zak. Infinity has the answer somewhere, and somehow, somewhen we’ll arrive at a place where all the threads

 

Connect

 

Unite

 

Or Danielle, our child.

 

Or Feargal her son.

 

Or Connaught

 

Or McKenna

 

Or Svalbörn

 

Or...

 

42 generations later...

 

Dot.

 

Dot?

 

Dot

 

Not the Dot, as in Dorothy?

 

Ay.

 

Mistress of the quantum stream!

 

Ay.

 

42 generations we awaited your birth.

 

Well, er, here i am.

 

 

The End

0=1

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