In which a crow and a donkey breach the amniotic sac of 3D reality

What do you mean multiple person disorder?

Well, he's currently appearing in more than one place at the same time.

No he's not, except on a TV screen and that doesn't count.

   - Ted Langley's finding some of the finer points of the quantum age somewhat confusing to say the least.

Well, obviously Ted he shouldn't be doing this - I mean it's in breach of all our protocols.

What do you mean "in breach of our protocols?" Since when did we have protocols about multiple personning?

Ever since we first encountered the phenomenon, back in the 40s. You weren't briefed on it because, frankly, it seemed irrelevant. No one was faintly interested in screwing around with space and time like that... and the penalties are severe.

How severe?

The 3D matrix doesn't take kindly to this kind of infraction. Spontaneous combustion is one of the termination procedures that happens from time to time.

So that's just what we wanted.

Ye-es

Zie'll shortly spontaneously combust, and we can all get back to business as usual.

Er... I'm not sure it's as simple as that.

Ty, I'm getting sick of hearing that phrase day in day out. What could possible make it more complicated than time tested spontaneous combustion?

It appears that Zie's now operating from another dimension. The 3D matrix is to the best of our knowledge unable to eliminate him, and what's more, there's an exponentially growing number of individuals who are joining him each day.

Jesus, Ty. Have you got nothing good to tell me?

Oh, yes, there's a famine coming on-line now in West Africa. It should cull several million, and our bacteriological department reckon they can mop up several times that number with some of their latest weaponised vaccines.

Er... that's nice to know Ty, but the time lines don't seem to match. Africa's a twenty to forty year play as you well know, and the Zie-Merry axis of salvation seems to be blowing everything to pieces in a matter of days.

Well yes, there is something in that, but it's good not to lose hope. I'm sure you're going to think of something. You always do. Divide and rule, for instance - that's always worked beautifully, hasn't it. We could team up with some of our worst socio-political do gooders, and fund their vision of utopia. It's never failed has it? One person's vision of utopia, with the right level of funding, turns into everyone else's nightmare, until all programmes for change, reform and planetary reconstruction are hopelessly discredited.

Ok Ty, I like the sound of that. But we're already working with the greens and the anti-globalists. It's still the wrong timeline. It's months and years, not days and weeks.

Well how about going thermo-nuclear. That's always been the last resort, hasn't it? Couldn't yet get the Israelis or Russians to set off one of their devices somewhere convenient, like downtown Manhattan?

Funny you should mention that.

Great minds think alike?

No, we already tried this one three days ago.

My God - talk about me being behind the curve.

Well, as you yourself have frequently said - it's all on a strictly need-to-know basis.

Yes, well, I'd quite like to know before being vaporised.

Ty, stop screwing around. You were sent to that conference in Colorado for this very purpose. Now, I need your brain, not your neuroses, so shut up and start thinking.

Well how about some data? What happened to the nuke?

It failed to go off, and on retrieval was completely inert.

?

The scientists say that it's been completely neutralised. You could open it up and use it as a play table in a kindergarten for all its worth now.

How did they do that?

You tell me... You're supposed to be the expert on quantum gimmickry. I thought you said g-nome portal was just a portal - that they're not allowed to intrude like that and break Earth's quarantine.

They're not, or they weren't at least, but this doesn't smell like g-nome portal. This feels more like Zie's "I be Merry" movement.

Go on, I was meaning to ask about that.

Well, quite frankly, you know as much as I do Ted. But we can surmise... Zie and his cohorts have collapsed the wave form, so effectively they've gone inter-dimensional.

They've collapsed the what?

The wave form of this so called 3D reality. It was always just an experiment, you know, and the experiment continues generating infinite permutations until someone or something collapsed the wave form.

So, you mean that they've shut down the whole of 3D reality?

Not exactly... remember that each of us carries conscious awareness, the ultimate allness, the isness of Be, so we're free to carry on imagining it's business as usual if we so desire, but that's going to have to be in the face of unavoidable signs that it's no longer...

No longer what?

Whatever it seemed to be. Up until now it seemed to be a watertight container - like a uterus. There really seemed to be no way out, and so we were free to rule the roost and call the shots, because we were the few who chose not to abide by their rules, in fact, we were not supposed to.

Yes, I know all that Ty, stop wasting my time with a history lesson. How did they breach the containment wall?

How did they collapse the wave form? Maybe if we find that out we can patch it up again.

Impossible. It's the wave form itself that's collapsed, so no amount of fear or intimidation's going to stitch this one up. How did they do it? Presumably they looked the one place they were never supposed to look.

The great taboo?

Yes.

But how? How could they override all their conditioning, including the satanic add-ons we patched in?

Good question. You yourself, if I remember rightly, have known about Merry and what he's been propagating - including 0=1. Surely that must have concerned you?

Of course it did - but I know the non-interference protocols hold true. He couldn't do any more than inform... and he's been doing that for millenia, so what's the point me bursting a gut worrying about his feeble efforts to keep the spluttering candle alight?

Then what Ted? What's done it?

I... I really don't know. Maybe your metaphor of the uterus was not as random as it seemed. Maybe the human foetus has reached the point where it simply needs to move on, and the I-be-Merry team breached the amniotic sac releasing the birth waters, setting in motion the now inevitable birth of a new entity - a wholly new being.

But why, why does it have to happen now? Why can't we stopper it up again?

Why would we want to Ted?

I'm warning you Ty... You're within a hair's breadth of termination. Don't make me do it...

Oh cut the crap Mr President. You know you're completely screwed without me.

I'm completely screwed anyway. How can I fight someone who's appearing in multiple places at once, and who's bringing down more near perfect world order with the most ridiculous children's poetry you've ever set eyes on.

Don't tell me. Have you seen the latest one?

What... The donkey?

The donkey

 A donkey has four legs, it looks like a horse,

I’m stating the obvious, you know this of course,

But how many people can honestly say

Why donkeys eey-or, why horses neigh?

Few are the hands I see raised in the class,

For few know the answer whenever I ask.

Ah, the donkey is all but forgotten these days

In a stable or field it dejectedly brays,

Quietly munching on grass or some hay

While the truth, if you knew it, would stun and amaze,

For donkeys are creatures which carefully hide

A part of themselves which is locked up inside.

It’s no good them telling, for people despise

All things extraordinary, preferring plain lies.

As soon as the truth starts sounding weird

It’s rejected as madness, it’s instantly feared.

So donkeys keep silent, and watch with dismay

As people forget them, preferring to play

With computers and cars made of metal and plastic,

For humans think technical things are fantastic.

But what of the secret that donkeys can’t tell?

I learnt it by listening, and you can as well.

At first all you hear is the eey-or disguise,

But concealed in this fabric of sound, for the wise

Is a road sign, a marker of cosmic dimensions

To help you discover your deepest intentions,

Intentions forgotten, which nobody mentions,

Our reason for living, the cause of my birth,

The way to accomplish my mission on earth.

So be a detective, and listen with ears

Which can hear through the mist of delusions and fears,

And donkey, despite being lowly and meek,

Will help you discover the truth that you seek

Which we struggle to see for our eyesight is weak.

But if you can’t hear what the donkey is saying,

Don’t worry, it just means that donkey is playing.



... actually I was referring to the Crow, but they're all much of a much. I've never felt so sick in the gut in all my lives. To think that I'm being taken down by a B-list self-promoter who writes d-grade poems.

Which just happen to contain within them the infinity codes that first ruptured the amniotic sac of this seemingly-self contained reality.

No... You absolutely can't be serious.

That's it. We can Deep Thought it if you like.

No we can't. Deep Thought's crashed.

What do you mean?

I mean it's lost in thought, now that we've unexpectedly entered an age of purely random events. They're proliferating like mushrooms and the mathematics of infinite randomness exceed even the capabilities of Deep Thought.

Maybe we should pull the plug on Deep Thought.

Once again Ty, I've already gone down that very avenue... and tried to do so last night at 11.40.

And?

And what?

What happened?

Precisely nothing. It appears that Deep Thought is now protected by some invisible force field and no longer requires energy from our supply.

My God. Then I know enough to know that this has become purely a battle of consciousness. There's nothing material you can do to overpower Zie or anyone else. In any case, who is Zie?

No one.

Precisely. He's no one. Defeating him you're defeating no one. So, if you want to fight, then we need to do so in accordance with the rules of engagement.

What rules of engagement? There are no rules in this game. It's kill or be killed, and may the most devious trickster prevail.

I'm afraid Ted...

No, don't say it Ty... I don't want to hear any more - at which point Ted flicks a switch terminating Ty on the spot.

The less I know the better. If I haven't been informed of a limiting factor or prohibited move, then I'm free to act in accordance with my best judgement.

Now, to war... and a perusal of those encrypted infinity codes...

The crow

 Welcome to the world of crow

Where night is white, where black is snow.

Crow’s song is “caw”, an ugly sound,

But “caw” is more like clapping hands

For crows to show they understand.

It’s not their real way of talking,

Oh no, they use a language of walking,

A tapping and scratching and shuffling of feet

Is the way that they chat whenever they meet.

Walking down the street one day

I strolled a stroll along the way.

A crow decided this was wrong,

It didn’t like my footsteps’ song,

So swooping down it flew right at me,

With wing or claw it gently tapped me

On the head, with startling speed,

Causing me to bob and weave,

But more than that, I knew that crow

Required a magic dance, and so

I started leaping up and down

For crow to see me play the clown,

Stamping my feet upon the ground.

While this made passing people frown

Who didn’t like my antics wild

And thought that I was being a child,

The crow knew better, “cawed” and smiled,

It liked my dance, it heard my walk

And saw, though human, I could talk.

For crows are sure beyond all doubt

That people have no brains at all,

Our feet seem dumb, they hear us shout,

But think we’re merely trying to caw.

So let crow know that you can talk,

You’ll have to learn a funny walk,

And one more thing, try not to stare,

For human eyes are known to scare,

Like danger signs they warn “beware”.