rehab

 

never went away…

could have fooled me

yep

 

you take pleasure in this, I suppose

 

in vanishing off the face of the earth?

 

precisely

 

hardly – do you imagine everything is personal?

 

it feels personal when something as important as g-nomeportal freezes for months

 

yep – presumably that’s why it had to happen

 

over-reliance?

 

it would seem so

 

so I’m not supposed to care?

 

you can care if you like, or not, but it isn’t supposed to matter, or if it does – you’re supposed to realise that you are able to do it all yourself.

 

er… make my own g-nomeportal?

 

whatever is needed. we're talking about infinity, aren’t we? it can’t have one sole access point, can it?

 

infinity – it does my head in

only your head?

 

it’s doing me in – me

 

that’s better

 

better? you heartless bastard

 

Beep!

 

well, in any case, I feel better for that

 

Thwack!

 

good, me too, now – let’s get down to business

 

business? What do you mean?

 

Infinity can’t wait for ever, you know.

 

I thought that was the whole point?

 

Yep – thinking is what you do best – it cannot be denied – but infinity can’t be thought – by definition – er – not that there’s anything definite about infinity.

 

Then what?

 

I’ll tell you in a minute – gotta open the door and see someone…

 

 

 

 

three days later…

 

a minute?!

 

i got waylaid

 

it’s always the same

 

do you believe in chance – Megrin?

 

chance? why do you ask?

 

good question. just wondering

 

Gwyn enters a vortex of silent nowness – definitely not thought – a different kind of thing-y-ness – something you can feel – deep and strangely tangible

 

hey – what’s with the sudden silence bro. no need to vanish off the face of reality

 

oh – there you are – are you ready now

ready for what?

 

Again Gwyn enters this vortex of sudden silent nowness and the shock transition triggers Megrin’s awareness of a question unanswered

 

yes – I do – in answer to your question – or perhaps not – I’m not entirely sure, to be honest. it’s hard to believe that everything happening has a deeper purpose, isn’t it? there seems to be all kinds of stuff going down which appears to be blatantly unfair or nonsensical

 

like what?

 

like you disappearing for three days mid conversation – just when I was ready to find out more about infinity – and how to set up my own g-nomeportal

 

ah – yes. do you want to see what we were doing all that time?

 

what we were doing? you went to answer a call and speak to someone while I waited patiently, until I realized you weren’t coming back – at which point I got mad and started smashing atoms together in my particle accelerator big bang generator

 

yes – that’s what you perceived here, on the sunny side of infinity

 

and what? does infinity have another side?

 

but of course – how could it not?

 

honestly – I couldn’t say – I know not

 

put on these – handing Megrin some green-y-blue glasses

er… ok

 

well – what do you see?

 

bizarre – i…

 

suddenly Megrin vanishes into a bubble – or something that looks suspiciously like one

 

ah – there you are Man

 

oh – what the heck’s going on Gwyn

 

it’s better to call me G – otherwise things’ll get mighty fuzzy

 

ok – what the F is going on G?

 

Beep!

 

you’re seeing things from the other side – where nothing happens by chance – where everything is interconnected and coherent

 

omg – this is insane

 

yep

 

do I still have a body?

 

ye-es – but not exactly – not in the literal sense

 

it feels ok

 

of course it does – you’re part of an infinite field

 

an?

 

thanks for correcting me M – you’re part of infinit-y – which we describe as the quantum field back in heliotropic 3D

 

er… what the heck’s that supposed to mean?

 

me thinks you can view it with those funky glasses of yours

 

oh yes – me nearly forgot

 

M views 3D reality in which everything is a kind of shadow separated from the sun at the centre

 

I had no idea the sun was at the centre of everything we think and do – that all of us are shadowlets of sun – yearning to reconnect, recombine yet separated by…

 

what?

 

I can’t figure it out – what the heck’s separating us from sun-y-ness?

 

Beep!

 

oh go hang yourself!

 

that’s the spirit – M!

 

surely these glasses should be able to insert me into the loop

 

M focuses his attention on what’s separating him and anything whatsoever from sun

 

this is going to feel a little…

 

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

strange

 

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow! what the heck was that?

 

infinity drive takes no prisoners

 

that was infinity drive?

 

you could say

 

but what the heck!

 

I warned you! Beep materializes into an anime ninja and starts laying into M

Hey!

 

for a moment M is dazed by the attack – but in almost no time he discovers the ninja within – waiting to be freed – waiting to be unleashed.

 

Whoopee! I can fight – I had no idea.

 

Nice, isn’t it.

 

you’re telling me – but what’s the point of fighting if we’re just conscious energy in an infinite field of all that is?

 

torque

 

did you say talk?

 

torque is what I said.

 

what the heck’s torque –

 

suddenly another Beep appears from nowhere and starts attacking M mercilessly

ah – I see – it’s a turning twisting force

 

that’s right

 

and how does that help?

 

figure it out for yourself

 

thanks a lot Gwyn – oops

 

saying Gwyn generates a load of bubbles and fuzziness that make it extremely difficult for M to fight his ninja opponents, until the disturbance in the field subsides

 

methinks I have to beat them by assimilating whatever it is they’re showing me

 

methinks you’re right

 

done!

 

suddenly M and G are in a convenient chill out zone – it could have been anywhere of course – but it assumed the form of a forest retreat.

Ah!

 

Amazing how things start clicking into place with a little…

 

experience. yes. so fighting those ninjas generated torque which ensured things don’t fade to infinity

 

that’s right

 

which is what will start happening any moment now?

 

no – you generated quite a lot so you’ve got a few days to rest and chill

 

so this is…

 

yes

 

I mean…

 

yes

 

no – you don’t understand…

 

yes

 

what the hell

 

Beep!

                                        

 

0=1

never again

infinity drive users guide Q&A session 2

Infinity drive users guide

 

Q&A session 2

 

There’s the rub – as Shakespeare says – for other than rub or friction between two opposing energies, two opposing polarities, two opposing configurations – nothing actually exists, as far as infinity is concerned. How could it? What is a thing? If, for a moment or two, we suspend our confirmation bias, suspend our obsessive-compulsive belief that things are fundamental, real or foundational – which might be an interesting theory, I admit, were it not wholly incompatible with infinity itself. It’s an either-or situation. Either you have things and they are what you refer to as “real” – like lego blocks in a matrix of reality – defining the parameters, boundaries, forces and substance of that reality – or else you allow/accept/ recognise infinity itself… infinity – whatever that may/ may not be – what ever that is. It’s like the ocean – and its things are bits of salt, or snowdrops, or raindrops, or… me knows not what – suffice it to say that infinity – the ocean – is absolute, total, fundamental – unmeasurable, uncontainable within any system or paradigm no matter how expansive or intricate – infinity – which cannot be plotted or logged in terms of space, time or any other conception of the reptile matrix mind – can only be experienced as something felt, but never truly understandable or understood – unless, that is, unless, or until, you manage to set up boundary posts and establish a containment field to convince the conscious-ness of so-called individuals – of people who are, in truth, who must be children of infinity if they are any thing at all – to convince them that they are themselves things in a world of things – that they are entities or persons – that they have no direct connection with in-finity – which might indeed be true within this containment field – unless, that is, something happens, and in-finity somehow reveals itself/ is revealed to them/ is felt, experienced, known as that which cannot be denied, cannot be contained, cannot ultimately be avoided.

We do not run to infinity – in the same way we do not run to the wild ocean or the roaring lion. We feel great fear and trepidation – rightly so – yet nor do we, nor can we deny it – for that would be to deny the silent heart of all that is – the simple truth that words cannot encapsulate – the dao – the om – spirit – God – love – me knows not what – for these are but words rubbing their butterfly wings against the petals of – picture a lotus flower of indescribable beauty present in all and every thing – the single common thread, the one and absolute unity…

 

So how, in this Q&A session – how do you manage infinity in a way that makes it meaningful or, dare I say it, useful for humanity – for you, for me?

 

Good question – is it not? The king of all questions – if you don’t mind a little self-praise. For infinity is, by definition – you might say – unmanageable, uncontainable, unmeasurable – in other words, to the rational mind of a 3D human – as good as useless, and therefore, all too easily dismissed as either pie in the sky, or an irrelevance…

 

You’ve probably figured out by now that I – your narrator or curator – have an enormous and rather unmanageable ego. It’s par for the course in the field of infinitology – only mythological beings are really qualified, willing, or able to stick their thick necks out and risk being the laughing stock of humanity. We’re all too easily shot down, like the poet John Keats who exposes his heart and soul – the critics are literally able to destroy him – but would he refuse to take the risk – to face the ridicule and scorn of critics? I think you know the answer. So, there’s a race of mythological beings such as myself – who just happen to be of, or from the realm infinity – absurd though that may sound – or should – if you’re even vaguely rational – yet be this as it may – mythology is not simply the stuff of fantasy or childish tales – is it? You know what I’m talking about, don’t you – some of you at least do. We can’t avoid the fact that the matrix or the cube that our reality appears to be contained within – is clearly artificial in nature – and feels somewhat absurd, unnatural, indefensible – to anyone who is able to see, feel, sense its form or true nature. So evidently there has to be something else – something less square, something that doesn’t evoke feelings of absence or disconnectedness – and here myth comes to the rescue – as story or myth seems to extend in spirals or fractals outside, beyond or, if you prefer, within the apparent rigidities of space-time-reality. Mythological characters such as myself – we may seem like clowns, we may indeed be clowns – and highly, highly flawed – yet we’re part of the fabric of reality beyond those square or linear limitations of space and time – beyond the unnatural form of this reality of things. Conduits, perhaps, is what we are – or poets, good/bad/indifferent or shamans – honestly – me knows not what – merely that we seem to exist – albeit at the fringes of polite society, generally speaking – and that we are the proof to the lie that this reality can be or is, in fact, more than a somewhat wobbly, somewhat absurd, somewhat unnatural er… construct – which, although artificial in its totality – is yet full of nature and natural solutions. There’s the rub – is it not? For no one in their right mind can or should deny that things are still natural – still have a right to exist – that’s not what me and my clan intend to do – oh no – we don’t intend to knock down or to deny things – on the contrary – we simply need, from time to time – to introduce elements of story or myth which come from elsewhere – which are also real, valid, meaningful – which appear to refute or contradict certain fundamental rules of this particular reality – but which can and must, sooner or later, be assimilated/integrated /incorporated if this reality is to survive and thrive and grow through the event horizon of the next iteration, which in all honesty, I hope it does.

 

The paradox, which some of you may have realised by now, is that most of you would prefer us to leave your matrix alone, even though it grows increasingly stifling and rank, for anything coming to you from outside the matrix is always frightening or disturbing, to say the least. But in the end this has nothing to do with me or what I want: infinity seems to have a mind of her own, if you'll excuse such anthropomorphology. She allows systems or matrices to grow undisturbed until they reach some kind of critical mass, like a child in the womb of her mother, and then it's knock knock, time to move on, time to meet a bigger reality, a brave new world of things that leaves you, quite literally, speechless, gobsmacked, врасплох. The irony is that I myself grew up within the matrix and assumed it was all-encompassing, little suspecting that I was part of its impending dissolution, little suspecting that I contained within me something else, the makings of a myth which cannot remain silent indefinitely. The only thing preventing me from doing my worst and bringing the curtain down on 3D reality was some kind of failure to accept the isness of be: that which simply is, oneself included. Social conditioning teaches us to assume we're part of whatever system we find ourselves in until, that is, infinity re-emerges from the wings – erupting like a full-blown kundalini awakening, compelling you to see/experience/feel what you’d definitely rather not, to accept the fact that nothing is actually what it seems or, as Shakespeare puts it far more succinctly – hey nonny nonny, the wind and the rain. In short, I’m the bearer of news which is both bad, very bad, and at the same time good, very good – it all depends on you, and how you respond to it, and to me, for what I’m worth, and to the influx of non-matrix energies, and to sweet Dorothea, the mushroom maid from hell – hell, or a far, far better place if you’re willing to confront your prejudices and grow into the new state of is-ful-ness.

 

So it’s all about trusting you and your insanity, basically? Am I right?

 

You could say that, but personally I think you need more than trust – you need to experience and verify it, to engage it, but how can you do that when you simply dismiss the very possibility that things are infinitely more interesting than they seem to be.

 

How so?

 

If every or any thing, like H₂O, only exists as rub, if it unites two absolute and irreconcilable opposites, if it generates a solid state from non-solids, if it’s able to beguile the mind into accepting its thing-y-ness by matching that which makes me – me, a deception, you might say, which can’t fool anyone who has the stomach, eyes or heart to face and embrace infinity.

 

Er…

 

Yes, the er like the um is indeed the gateway to infinity.

 

No, I mean, why do you have to complicate everything? Why can’t you just allow things to be things?

 

Who said I don’t? Things are still things regardless of infinity, but now you have the option, the alternative to see and experience them an other way.

 

I do?

 

Absolutely. You can allow romance back into your life.

 

Romance?

 

For what could be more exciting, more incredible, more wonderful than seeing that behind or within each and every thing is a gateway to another world, an entirely different way of experiencing reality? Instead of treating reality as a fait accompli, a given, a lifeless fact, you’re now aware of a battle, an exchange, an unresolved dispute between two opposing forces, two that just happen to represent and or reflect a dichotomy or fundamental difference within you yourself…

 

And you call this romantic?

 

Yes, it’s the stuff of legend in the making, and you or I are graciously invited to make it happen, to bring the opposing soul essences into their desired state of unity if and when you are able to fully take onboard, digest and bring to fruition their story. In this respect you’re like the cooking pot or even the story womb, without whom things cannot break through the containment fields dividing them.

 

Oh dear, dear… I fear you are hopelessly, irretrievably lost in your… your…

 

Behold – a thing. Behold – a tale. Behold – the alchemy of matter and mind through the selfless intermediacy of the heart, the alchemist’s cauldron that can and does work magic.

Oh dear…

 

So, take for example this bottle of water, Evian.

 

Must you do product placements in this blog?

 

Don’t be so boring, Sean. It’s just a name people happen to know. Now, instead of concentrating on the thing – the bottle; the essence – the water; the name or rune – Evian, concentrate on infinity lurking, hiding, concealed but barely so, just waiting to emerge from behind or within the fig leaf thing and deal its death blow to your psyche, to your ego, your sense of self, nay, even your reality.

 

Bravo, Fiona, very dramatic indeed.

It’s Phoebe, in case you hadn’t noticed.

 

Who cares. Infinity takes no prisoners. What’s in a name…

 

A rose, indeed, smells no less sweet, but hush – we’re stalking infinity like hunters closing in for a kill, keeping low, moving silently, with deadly intent.

 

I’m getting palpitations.

 

Excellent.

 

And butterflies in my stomach.

 

Very good. Now comes the coup de grace… Phoebe, whose real name is Fiona, leaps towards the bottle with a high pitched scream and vanishes into a black hole that seems to swallow her in a bewildering acceleration of inertial metrics.

 

Phoebe! Where are you? Sean wails disconsolately, before something clicks and he too senses infinity lurking right before him.

 

Aweeeeeeeeee! He yells and vanishes into the opening that leads God knows where, in hot pursuit of his beloved Phoebe.

 

Any questions?

 

17?

 

Good question, Bob. Yes, that will be 23.

 

 

0=1

to be continued

if and when

follow up Q&A session

Infinity drive users guide

 

Q&A session

 

I’m having problems getting my head around the fact that this so-called infinity drive doesn’t have a particular device or even an app. How am I supposed to use it or even know I’m using it if I have no physical proof it actually exists?

 

Good question Ron. You’re under no obligation to use it. In fact, with our money back guarantee you’re free to use it as long as you like, until you complete level one. Only then is your license fee non-refundable.

 

But I never paid any license fee?!

Correct, you didn’t, but don’t forget that infinity is very, very large when it’s not busy being very, very small, and somewhere there on the other side of infinity you – or an other version of you did in fact decide to do the same as you and reconnect with infinity. He/she paid up several million dollars in your Earth money whereas you simply provided a single drop of blood. Your failure to complete level one would terminate the contract and no one’s going to complain. Completing level one you’ll begin to get the first inkling of the other side of who or what you are; you’ll begin to sense why infinity drive is structured the way it is, and how best to interface.

 

I paid several million dollars? Where did I get that kind of money from?

 

You really don’t get it, Geoff, do you!

 

Er…

 

We’re talking about infinity drive – which connects you with the other aspect of your self – the part of you that doesn’t mess around with finite stuff – all the boundaries and limitations which are an integral part of your existence. To that part of you – things like money or matter are child’s play. Think of it, again, as an equation. For you to become limited and as pitiable as you now appear to be was a major achievement when you, in fact, are descended from the totality of “universe”, if you like – or the totality of all that is – conscious-ness and reality included. A single drop of blood from your present embodiment is, if truth be told, worth orders of magnitude more than a few paltry dollars, as it's like a passkey to your totality.

 

Er…

 

For 17 million dollars to exist or be materialised requires a minor level of control, nothing more.

 

17? I thought you said “several million”?

 

Several/ 19 – what difference does it make?

 

A lot, if it’s coming out of my bank account.

 

Oh dear, Geoff – you do seem to be taking this “not having enough” lark rather seriously. I understand that’s one side of your experience – but it doesn’t alter the fact that all the energy in the universe just happens to be directly accessible – with or without infinity drive.

 

This is taking some getting used to, Fred.

 

It just needs a few NDEs.

A few near-death experiences? What are you talking about? I don’t want to die.

 

No, nobody does, or very few people, but your current you is really very limited mentally. I don’t see how it can adapt to allow the awareness of infinity required to shift you into a more quantum state. NDEs are a very effective way of allowing real change to your system.

 

Be that as it may – you’re ignoring the fact that they’re really very risky – so, if you don’t mind, Fred, I’m going to ask you to put a stop to such talk.

 

Well, I’m giving you one last chance. If you can’t start to assimilate infinity awareness then I’m going to pull the plug.

 

You have no right to threaten me in that way!

 

No? Here, look at this.

 

Er… what is it?

 

See that signature?

 

Ye…es. Whose is it?

 

Whose do you think? 

I...   looking increasingly nervous  

Yours, dimwit.

 

Mine?

Can’t you see?

 

But what would my signature be doing on a document that grants you power of attorney over my very existence?

 

Doing? It’s there because you put it there.

 

But I have no recollection whatsoever of doing so.

 

Ignorance is no defence. It’s unlikely you’d have any recollection because, at the moment, you lack the energy to connect your various islands of consciousness.

 

Whatever are you on about?

 

But once you start doing so – once you start recollecting the narrative that draws them all together into one coherent whole – that’s when the web of connected experiences starts to emerge from the background hubbub of chaos.

 

Chaos?

 

Well yes – infinity is otherwise known as chaos, is it not?

 

Er… if you say so. But why?

 

Listen Geoff, I’ve gotta go. I’ll speak to you later.

 

But I need to know, now.

 

Nothing I can do for you, bro. Gotta go means “gotta go”.

 

Why do I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t get this information immediately?

 

Impatient, aren’t you! But really, come to your inner temple of peace and awareness and all these concerns evaporate, don’t they.

 

Really?

 

Absolutely. Just take a look if you don’t believe me…

 

I… what on Earth?  Geoff glimpses his inner temple of peace.

 

Nothing to do with me. Looks like Dorothy’s decided to lend a hand.

 

Oh. Muchas gracias Dorothia! 17 million did you say?

 

Actually it was 19 million dollars and 43 cents.

 

Worth every penny if this is what it can do. Feeling blissed out in the interconnectedness of infinity's inner temple.

 

You see.

 

It’s like… I have unlimited resources at my disposal.

 

Yep.

 

Unlimited!

 

Well, it is called infinity drive, after all.

 

Incredible.

 

Now, I’m going to have to cut you off Geoff, I’m supposed to be taking questions from everyone else too.

 

You can just let infinity drive handle that simultaneously, can’t you?

 

I could, but I was just trying to be polite. This conversation is no longer purposeful. You’ve got to do your own surfing mate.

 

Ok. Well, thanks, see you around.

 

Yep. You’re welcome to attend the members event, once a fortnight on Twenday.

Twenday?

 

Oh, it’s a day that infinity drive users can access that doesn’t seem to exist in 3D time space.

 

Twenday – where does it come in the week, bro?

 

It doesn’t. It’s spread throughout the fortnight – a little bit here, a little bit there – but with infinity drive you can pop up into hyper time and hey presto – it’s Twenday.

 

Ok. And where’s the meetup?

 

G-nome.

 

G-nome portal?

 

Where else?

 

Ok. And the agenda?

 

Mostly just networking and sharing experiences. You’d be amazed the kind of places, things, realities members discover in the course of a fortnight. We’re recording them all and establishing a kind of map to provide newbies with fertile lines of exploration. Otherwise you can spend a lot of time yonging.

 

Yonging?

 

Just going through random zero-ones – like endlessly flipping a coin.

 

Oh.

 

We’re more interested in the bits where the beetle reappears in the Mandelbrot set – the bits where there’s something like a worm hole to another level, or some artifacts to pick up.

 

You’re making it sound like…

 

Like it is. Gotta go, Geoff. Beep.

 

Oh. So what am I going to do – Fred never answered my question. No device. No console. No nothing. Maybe I’ll just use this bottle of water for starters. If I’ve paid 19 million dollars infinity drive should be able to access me through almost any thing, unless this is all an elaborate scam.

 

George suspends his disbelief for a fraction of a second and the bottle seems to fade into the background, to be replaced by a level of conscious-ness that’s always been there in the background – unnoticed – but never accessible consciously.

 

Ah. This is… what does Alice say – curiouser and curiouser.

 

For a second Ron focuses back on the bottle again – and there’s just a bottle of Evian – no sponsorship but you never know… they might take the hint – and then he allows infinity drive to pop back into view – like the bridge of a starship: gleaming, futuristic, far out.

 

Impressive! I wonder if you can provide a more naturalistic version, Dorothy – if it’s not asking too much?

 

The hi-tech control centre is now replaced by a forest grove – no knobs, screens or blinking lights – just a pool of water, some big crystals – lazy butterflies, bird song – see it – don’t you?

 

That’s much better. I want my experience of infinity to be more like this – nature spirits – Hayao Miyazaki – that kind of thing.

Geoff, Ron whoever that was – now fades into his first personal trip – guided by Dorothy, if you can accept her mythological provenance. On the right side of the mind’s eye we can see how everything he’s exploring, visiting, interacting with is in some way connected with perfectly mundane stuff here in 3D reality: a broken pencil, a sock lying on the floor in the bathroom gathering dust, a vinyl record player with a crackly stylus in a Manhattan basement, a bowl of cat food minus the cat, and a book on fly fishing. All perfectly innocuous, you'd think –  innocuous and mostly harmless, other than the strange fact that they’re simultaneous and fully integrated with the other side of infinity. You can’t have one without t'other: you can’t have 3D reality without it’s corresponding hyperspace – and vice versa. 

Suddenly there’s a wooshing sound – as Geoff or Ron senses the connection – and finds himself back in his room with his nose pressed gently against the bottle of Evian. But now he’s regarding the bottle in a different light – less certain. He’s no longer sure if it’s really just a bottle. He senses infinity lurking behind, within, around it – he can almost see the flip side of reality without intending it. Vertigo, things coming apart.

 

Yikes! This is unnerving.

 

You’re telling me.

 

Oh – who are you?

 

But no sooner has Geoff/Ron asked than he knows the answer. And his mind, or his mental awareness goes through a quantum leap.

 

Oh.

 

The penny droppeth. Things fall into place. Connections he’s spent his whole life ignoring, denying, fearing are suddenly utterly clear, undeniable, natural – and it isn’t even scary.

 

Let’s set up a character, shall we? Infinity is hopelesssly vast. With a character in a specific world you can have life experiences and learn things with a realistic causality. It will be infinitely more satisfying.

 

Ok. But why only one character? 

 

Oh – you can set up as many as you like, but we'll start with one. Just don’t forget which is you and which is your character, your it. These experiences are going to be hyper-real so you need to remain aware of your real self – your starting point.

 

Ok. Makes sense. But doesn’t it beg the question…

 

Yes, it does.

 

whether my me is also just a character in a game play?

 

Naturally, but until you learn to shift your awareness into the higher level of the mind imagining you – this is mere idle speculation, isn'it?

 

Shift my awareness… what a thought, one might be in danger of knowing too much, of fatal hubris.

 

Fred shifts his awareness and…

 

 

0=1

to be continued

if and when