gone fishing

Jumpstarting infinity…

I’m sorry?

We’re jumpstarting infinity.

Like what?

Because it’s time.

Uh?

Infinity is now.

Now?

Now.

Er… how?

Huh?

How can infinity be now?

Because it’s the conjunction.

Er…

It’s the conjunction.

Yeah – I heard, for what it’s worth. But it makes no sense.

The reality, the world we’ve been living in is now ready to come online.

Huh?

Because up until now it’s not been online. It’s been a localised system.

It has?

Yes. And now we’re plugging back into it.

Into what?

Infinity.

Er…

And that’s all there is.

All?

Yep. All there is.

Meaning?

You have no idea.

Isn’t that your job – to convey some kind of meaning. Isn’t that the deal?

It was.

Was?

Yeah – until now.

And what’s changed?

Now has changed. Infinity is now.

Repetition’s not going to get you anywhere.

True – but it’s helping it to sink in subliminally.

For you or for me?

It matters not.

Ok – so infinity is now… Now is suddenly a big deal. We’re suddenly in the big boys’ league – where things matter in a way they didn’t use to.

Yep.

And?

N

Huh?

N…

Like I said – repetition’s massively overrated, unless you’re trying to do that “subliminal” thing again…

N…     …     …          …   …              …    …

Morse code – is that it?

You felt something – you noticed. This is it. Get ready. Now is now rewriting the basis of everything you’ve ever known.

Er… seems, how can I put it, somewhat implausible – if you don’t mind me blowing smoke on your bonfire.

Excellent. You’ve triggered the first portkey.

Huh?

You’ve just altered the course of things by uttering a pre-recorded phrase.

I have? Is that good?

No.

It’s bad?

Not really.

Then what?

More it’s inevitable – like the fulfilment of prophecy.

Oh God – here we go.

Strike two.

I missed?

No – actually you’ve triggered another seismic shift. The ring of fire…

Here we go –

is on fire. Infinity is hotting up. Things are coming to a head. Stay calm. Panicking will only make things worse.

I was.

What?

I was staying calm till you told me not to panic.

You were?

Yes.

And?

And then you told me not to panic.

And what?

Naturally it had the opposite effect.

Did it? Oh dear.

“Oh dear” – like you care.

i

You probably did that deliberately – to trigger my amygdala.

Your what?

Oh never mind. Look – I’m having a panic attack. I can handle this infinity situation. It feels like…

Like what?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

Like that. Well – that looks like a fairly natural, healthy response to infinity.

Is there nothing you can do?

No, not really. You seem to be coping nicely.

Coping nicely? I’m freakin panicking. I’m having a cold sweat. I’m hyper-ventilating and making strange inarticulate sounds. I’m losing control over my facial expressions and bodily functions – and you call that “coping nicely” – are you insane?

Well, what do you want? This is infinity after all.

If you mention that word again I think I’m going to be sick.

What –

Don’t, I said.

infinity?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh. Violent vomiting sounds.

Ah – you’ll probably feel a lot better after having a little puke.

Little?

Figuratively speaking.

I’ve been vomiting nothing but bile for the last twenty minutes.

Stop.

Huh?

Stop – now.

How? Oh – I stopped. But how?

I can tell you but the answer lies in a different branch of now – awaiting your next level of initiation.

Er… you’re making this sound creepy masonic.

Number?

Oh – I don’t know. 3.14159265359

That will do.

Was it right?

No.

Oh.

But it’s triggered another phase change – so we’re back on course.

We are – fantastic. Where are we going now?

Where else – back to 3un

3what?

3un

Which is?

Unthinkable, unspeakable, unknowable.

Oh.

That too – ah – here we go – hold on.

To what?

A giant beetle sweeps down and grabs Zie in its mandibles. Zie is too shocked to react, in fact, the minute the beetle grabs him he finds himself reliving a series of disjointed fragmentary dreams or memories in which he, or some related entity, appears to shift between beetle, plant and er… do I have to say this?

You do, of course.

Various other forms.

You were going to say snake, weren’t you.

I’d appreciate it if you’d stay out of my mind.

And I appreciate it if you’d kindly stay out of my mind.

I try to – I assure you – there’s nothing of any interest in there.

No? I find that somewhat offensive.

Yes, I thought you would… here – catch a load of this…

And the next thing he knows – Zie is absorbed into a trillion tiny bubbles, maybe more, and discovers an entirely new perspective on things – a perspective which involves seeing, sensing, feeling, knowing the digital, dot matrix side of things – in which we’re are but a mass of bubbles in temporary human form.

So you mean to say we can explain everything, simply using pathetic little bubbles? It seems so trivial. It’s, frankly speaking, ridiculous.

Absolutely. Now laugh, or die.

Ha ha, very funny.

Zie – you’re in safe hands. I’ve gotta go.

Go?

That was the deal.

What deal?

Merely to take you up to the gates of infinity. No further. You’ve seen the bubble nature of things. You’re on your own. Good luck.

But…

But nothing. No one can do this for you. It’s time for a spot of taxonomy.

Tax-what?

-onomy as opposed to -ation. The boundaries between one thing and one another have to come down, so good luck, insectoid. The Prize is humanity. May you reach your goal. May you indeed become human.

Why is this happening to me?

Because now matters and nothing else. Accept your predicament, or die. And me? I’m off for a spot of fishing. Stick this sign up on the door.

You really mean you’re going fishing?

No – you’re going fishing. I’m going nowhere – which is why…

Damn – I hate those non-sequiters… oh well – taxonomy, he said. What kind of insan-ity? Oh no – get it away from me!

Zie finds himself face to face with a gigantic, mandible waving beetle. Both the beetle and Zie start the next chapter of this story – nowfully – triggering another major shift sideways, if sideways even exists, directionally speaking, here in infinity. The beetle was never going to be an easy image to work with, so Zie converts it to something more manageable – and finds himself floating between frames in an action movie, until he gets killed by a stray bullet and continues the dialogue as a raindrop in mid-flight – on its way down to a car windscreen and the wipers swishing to and fro. 476 clicks later – Zie wakes up, utterly, utterly unaware of who or what he really is – and thus begins another tale – with Merry barging in – as he is wont to do – in mid-stream – conversationally speaking – congratulating Zie on his bushy tale – but more on that, next time, if now permits.