beside myself

Er...

Yes, what is it?

Merry...

What? Can’t you see I’m busy.

I hate to be nosey or obtrusive

Well – are you going to give in to hate?

Why are you hiding behind a tree?

Whatever makes you think I’m hiding behind a tree?

Er... that’s what it looks like – to the casual observer.

Casual?

Or neutral.

Zie – if you like imagining you’re either casual or neutral i can accept that. We all like imagining we’re something we’re not. One person imagines she’s vivacious and witty, another that she’s good looking and seductive. You probably imagine that you’re intellectually sharp and within spitting distance of the truth.

I don’t know...

Precisely – but in actual fact you are obtuse and lost in self-delusion. Had you any idea how far you are from seeing what is what you’d probably foam at the mouth and rage against the sun and moon until people decided you had rabes and probably out to be institutionalised.

Rrrrggggggggg

There you go – let it out Zie. After all, you probably imagined in your mental illiteracy that I was attempting to spy on someone – perhaps Sonya who’s sitting over there – deep in contemplation.

Rrrrrrggggggg

One never ceases to wonder at the close proximity of the beast within man – waiting to climb out and expose itself once a few carefully selected buttons are pressed. By all means feel free to escalate this tantrum of wounded vanity and pride up to the next level. I expect you’re already contemplating how you’d like to do physical damage to me for seeing through your petty small mindedness so easily, not to mention your jealously that perhaps I’m more interested in watching Sonya than spending my time with a complete bore such as yourself.

******** !!!!!!!!!!!  @:>?><@{}  !”£$%^&  *******

Ah – I think we’ve done enough. 1 – 2 – 3 pop

My God Merry – what was that all about? You were completely...

Zie, before you say another word – have a look at yourself.

?

Please – if it doesn’t offend your sensibilities to do so!

Oh, alright. Aaaaargh! What’s going on? What’s happened to me?

Oh nothing much.

Nothing much?! What the

Expletive expletive expletive – one does grow a little tired of humans’ capacity to translate the higher experiences of paradox, contradiction and metaphysics into a series of four letter words, usually associated with copulation or toiletry. It’s beyond me, really.

What’s happened to me?

Oh that – you got a bit over-excited – don’t you remember.

Of course I bloody remember. You were winding me up something rotten.

Yes – i did my best – but technically speaking i never uttered a single word of untruth.

Oh thanks a bunch – that makes it all the better.

Only trying to be honest.

If you don’t mind – I’m feeling somewhat traumatised seeing myself in such a dreadful state. What am I supposed to do about it?

Do?

Two letter word – fairly basic in meaning. Surely you can proceed to an explanation?

Oh – do! Nothing, of course.

Nothing? I can’t just do nothing. I look like a slow motion epileptic.

And what have you got against epileptics, dear Zie? 

Nothing, I assure you Merry. But those terrible metronomic convulsions shaking me back and forth, left and right, contorting my features, spittle dribbling from my mouth, eyes white and glinting with furious insanity...

Quite a picture, is it not. All in all I’d say a job well done.

Well done?! Rrrrgggggg

Here we go again. Yes, you’re finally at liberty to confront your true nature, your psycho-emotional state of affairs, once we stripped off the veneer of culture and polity.

Rrrrrrrgggggggggg

Spittle production is definitely booming this year.

Rrrrrgggggggggg

Sonya – take a look at this clown – he never ceases to amaze me with his inbuilt sense of self-importance – as if the story of his life – his personal narrative is the only thing that matters.

Oh – hi Zie – wow! most impressive!

Oh – hi Sonya – er... seemed to have got a bit carried away with things I.

How do you manage to convulse in slow time like that – in two separate hypostases?

I... I don’t know. Can you help me Sonya? I seem to have let myself get out of hand.

You’re telling me.

I seem to have fragmented into separate...

Hypostases? That’s a bit of a mouthful isn’t it.

Yes – I suppose it is. It’s just it seemed like the right word at the time.

Maybe we could say hyperstates instead?

Oh, that’s not a bad idea. Well, what’s your recommendation Sonya dear?

Sonya dear? You’ve never called me that before, Zie dear.

No, I never really gave you any attention, in fact, did I. I was always so absorbed by my conversations with Merry.

You’re telling me.

In fact, I hardly ever noticed you were there – till Merry pointed you out.

Typical! Male chauvinist pig.

?!

Arrogant pompous prig.

??!!!Q!!

Jackass, dog spit, monkey drool.

Rrrrrrrrrggggggg

Elephant shit

Rrrrrrrrggggggggggg

Newt dropping, spider dandruff

He hee ha ha he he ha he  I’m splitting again – aren’t I?

I guess so – not that I give a fiddle.

Hee hee ha ha hee hee  you’re doing this deliberately – aren’t you Sonya?

Why would I waste my time giving you a moment’s consideration zero sum non-entity that you are.

Haaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

There he goes again! Wow! There’s no stopping him today.

Oh – I don’t know about that, Sonya. I think it’s third time lucky – if I’m not mistaken.

You seldom are – but he might go on splitting forever – he’s so lost in his own self-importance.

I think you’re actually enjoying this Sonya – yes – there seems to be a wicked, ruthless glint in your eye.

Well we can hardly get anywhere as long as Zie’s blocking up the cosmic tubes with his much of a me-ness, can we.

We?

Yes, Merry dear. Didn’t you know?

Know what?

Oh, you are dim-witted at times, but I still love you all the same.

You do? How sweet of you. So you think we can’t proceed beyond a certain boundary limit as long as Zie persists in seeing himself fractally.

What does it matter what I think, Merry. You know the law of one – the zero sum nature of infinity as well as I do. We can neither help nor hinder Zie or anyone else, can we – but hiding the truth behind politeness is never going to

true – is never going to – still it’s a rather strange feeling is it not.

Yes, indeed.

Feeling the layers of the onion that is reality

Splitting apart

Separating after having been welded together

for so long

in Zie

and his kind

All of them

All of ‘em

Ticklish is how I’d describe it.

Indeed. Ticklish and at the same time

Yes – relief

Most definitely

Ironically – the paradox of infinity revealing itself being described as

something definite – is not lost upon me

neither.

Ah Sonya, is it me speaking or you hearing – I seem to have

lost count – me too – to be honest Merry

it doesn’t greatly matter

for here the two of us are much of a much

even though in 3D we’re definitely on opposite

sides of the barricade known as

polarity

hysterically referred to as

sexity

endlessly distorted

twisted

misrepresented

and confused.

No Zie, I’m looking for the gnarly ones.

The gnarly ones?

You know Zie...

Er... I suppose I should but you know me, Merry – hopeless in all matters intellectual.

Oh, don’t put yourself down like that Zie – you’ll find once I disappear from your life

When you what?!

Disappear from your life – that actually you’re no worse than me or any other tree elf.

Stop – not another word.

Oh – it’s always been that way Zie. The student, the disciple never grows up, never comes of age until his master dies.

Dies? You’re not planning to die are you?

Most assuredly – at the first available opportunity.

Stop fooling around Merry.

How else are you going to make headway, Zie? Of course I’m going to die – it’ll be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

And you?

And me too. I’ve always had a passion for dying. One gets so terribly frustrated with being typecast in one particular role. There are always other characters, over personae within, yearning to emerge. Death, I assure you, is the great reverser – switching things around admirably – like deck chairs on the Titanic.

Ah, Titania – there you are, i thought you were lurking in the purple shadows of this text. Any idea how to

...be continued