necrophilia O I

More.

You’re insane. Why would I want more chaos? It’s killing me as it is.

Yes.

So you want me to die?

Me? What have I got to do with any of this? 

You’re the one telling me I need to choose a suicidal path.

There’s only one suicidal path, and that’s the one 99% of people are on.

Huh?

99% - actually 99.7 or .8% of people are on a path of death avoidance.

Thank God for that. I’m glad to hear it.

The only problem being that you can’t avoid death by playing it safe and avoiding chaos.

Well, obviously, we’re all gonna die some day – but it’s hardly reasonable to go out and look for trouble, is it?

Reasonable? No, of course it’s not, but that’s precisely what you want to avoid if you’re looking to dodge the spider’s web.

Er…

Being reasonable, as you put it, ensures you’re gonna get snared along with everyone else. There’s not gonna be a safety in numbers effect. You’re all flying straight towards it – without exception – like you’re desperate to prove the fool’s fallacy of reasonableness.

Er…

Then when you’re all nicely stuck to the web, struggling to free yourselves, alerting the spider to your presence, you’ll be collectively complaining, perhaps, of the unreasonableness of the web being where it is, and how it’s an infringement of your various rights, an infraction of the health and safety code, and gross failure to honour your racial, sexual and multifariously defined personhood. A committee, perhaps, of co-suspendants will be convened to discuss the acceptability of the spider’s use of banned substances – there must be a law against those digestive juices it’s about to inject into you, not to mention illegal imprisonment. Your case will appear to be absolutely watertight – except that it’s going to be unreasonably interrupted by the fact of your failure to properly file documents and appear in court on the correct date – but that doesn’t prevent you from enjoying the satisfaction of being assured that reason is on your side, without a doubt.

Ok, ok – very amusing. I don’t remember seeing any giant spiders’ webs – or any other death machines of such a nature.

No, you wouldn’t, in the same way lambs go to the slaughter convinced that the farmer is their best friend, which in fact he is, apart from the fact that he has a family to feed and a business to run. It’s not in any way personal. He’s a good guy and treats the creatures well, does he not?

Er… so it’s the old cliché that we’re all farm animals, is it? Couldn’t think of anything else – anything more original?

No need to reinvent the wheel – is there – if it works, if it gets you from “a” to “b” it will do nicely.

Well, I don’t see the majority of people, the 99.7% you so mathematically refer to dying untimely deaths. Most people lead a normal life and die when the body grows frail and nature has run its course. That has nothing in common with farm animals being bred for meat.

True – because we’re not being bred for meat, are we? But the analogy still holds true.

In what way?

I don’t really want to go into it now – we’ve discussed it before, haven’t we?

What – that ridiculous theory that we’re feeding some kind of AI Borgish Thim with our life force or consciousness? Hardly “discussed” it – you just blurted it out – as you do – and I was left to “Oh my God – here he goes again” endure the barrage of poisonous victimhood and toxic life loathing. Honestly – what’s the point in living if you’re so obsessed that this is a universe which wants only to milk, exploit and feed on you – on your thoughts, your emotions, your life force or consciousness? It seems a depressingly twisted outlook. Were it true we may as well all hang ourselves. We’d be living in some kind of dystopian nightmare, wouldn’t we?

We would be, if we were just what we’ve been led to believe we are.

What, like people?

Yes, precisely.

Oh – so you’re not a person now, am I right?

Actually, this isn’t about what I am or what I said, or what I think…

No? You could have fooled me. I thought that’s exactly what it’s about.

No, no – it’s about the need for chaos, the need to embrace the dark swirling cloud of death and destruction if we’re to transcend our personhood and become human.

Oh – so that’s how you’re playing it, is it?

Actually, I’m being romantic.

You are? You could have fooled me.

Deeply romantic – I’m suggesting that there’s more, infinitely more for us to embrace, but it’s outside the perimeter of reasonableness in a place which at first glance appears to be contradictory or even deadly.

Well, that’s very nice, I’m sure, but if you think I’m going to jump off a cliff to embrace your theory of chaos and unreasonableness wholeheartedly – you’re greatly mistaken.

There’s be no need for that.

No? Then what exactly are you proposing when you so emphatically “More” me – as if I’m not doing enough already to make something of my life?

Less.

Jesus wept. I might have known. Never one to turn down the opportunity for a bare faced bald eagle of a contradiction, were you? Is this one of those socially nuanced “less is the new more” phrases? Is that what you’re getting at?

You can’t do more by doing more – can you? Doing is what’s got us into this death denying mess.

Death denying? What are you on? Who on earth is trying to deny death? We want to live healthy lives, give it our all, and then, when the time comes, graciously transition to the great beyond. Just because we don’t celebrate the wonderful gift of death once a week doesn’t mean we’re denying it. It’s an inevitability which we acknowledge and accept – but life is our business, living our duty, and so death – to a certain extent is the enemy – until the time is ripe. Then, and only then, do we change our tune and start to embrace its powerful undercurrents – when resistance finally becomes futile.

Yes – you have it all pat – intelligent soundbites of reasonableness – but you’re missing one vital element, if I’m not much mistaken.

I am? I suppose you’re going to enlighten me, oh great necrophile.

Necrophile – that’s not a bad one – though it all gets horribly distorted on this side of C3.

You see – you don’t deny you’re a death lover. That puts you in very bad company – necrophilia doesn’t exactly sound…

We’re never going to sound right when words are taken as seriously as we take our silly selves. Unless we drop back into universal Om-ness and embrace the Whole – unless we consider the romance of what death not only implies – what it makes possible – we’d spend the rest of our lives waiting for…

No we wouldn’t – how can you be so blind? We’d not be waiting for anything – we’d be living our lives as a celebration of life – rather than some kind of twisted, perverted necrophilia.

There you go – allow prejudice and misinterpretation to guide you. Look – death itself is not the object or focus of our attention – for you can’t focus on a meaningless non-event: the heart stops beating – the spirit departs the body vehicle.

Then what?

Death is how the 3D mind sees things which are beyond its ken – like a blank – or a black sky – or something scary or something to be vehemently, even violently ignored. The knight today does not go slaying dragons as such – he goes and noses around to find the inlets where the waters of Styx or Lethe flow into our 3D reality – inlets which the rational mind constantly overlooks or ignores.

And what? You find a so-called inlet – what are you going to do? Jump in?

That depends – as always. You are always aware somehow, somewhere within – how best to navigate the waters of the present moment – whatever that moment might be.

The waters of the present moment? Why on earth do you describe the present moment so highfalutingly?

Because there’s more to any moment than meets the eye – particularly when one becomes more aware of the ebb and flow of the pre-3D tide we’re afloat in.

Pre-3D? Ebb and flow? I don’t know what you’ve been smoking – how on earth can you describe the present moment in such a way?

Absurd, isn’t it? As soon as one tries to describe it in a way which sheds some light on the quantum flux oscillating between life and death, one and zero – one’s descriptions start sounding intellectually offensive – a travesty of reasonableness and rationality, do they not? which is why we have to make a conscious effort to broaden and deepen our awareness of death – which is your ally as much as your enemy – which opens up all kinds of quantum possibilities or anomalies which otherwise would have been inaccessible.

It does?

Well yes – because so much is hidden or hiding behind our generally unacknowledged fear of death, or fear of dying. We barely even consider why we fear death and/or dying – minds prefer to leave well enough alone – for fear of triggering a seismic shift or quantum event.

And you don’t? You’re happy to upset the apple cart? Somewhat reckless, do you not feel?

Well yes – but I’m really talking about awareness, aren’t I, and that more generally needs to be accessed via less – so a little silence, a little fasting, or not-doing what we usually do generally has greater effect in our do/speak saturated lives than the converse.

Er…

Death is the ultimate less – without which life becomes flat.

Flat?

2D – completely lacking depth, and without access to other levels of consciousness.

But surely people can meditate or pray?

OF course – and that’s great – but that’s still doing, isn’t it.

Er…

Doing something – oh – I think I’ll go meditate – that will be nice. You see, context is everything. Any thing you do ends up being more of the same.

Huh?

More thing.

But meditation is completely different – you’re tuning into infinity, aren’t you?

Yes, but infinity is not a thing you can tune into – as such. It ain’t any thing in particular – and as long as you’re all thinged up – full of matter – you ain’t gonna get very far – the glass is too full, innit?

Er… why the sudden cockney accent Shelley?

Oh, it’s just a thing. Pay no attention.

So, you honestly believe that we have to empty the glass?

Words – these are words describing non-matter – so emptying the glass may not be the best description – it might be a case of converting some or all of your life-pop into…

Death-pop? This is sounding more and more macabre. I can’t imagine why you’d want a glass of death.

Words have the habit of biting you in the ass whenever you’re talking about zero, nought, death, whatever is beyond the comfort zone of reasonable rationalism. That’s their inherent bias – isn’t it? So we have to be vigilantly aware of this confirmation bias – and use something else to get past the barrage of resisting, recalcitrant words.

You make them sound like conscious players.

Well they’re hardly passive or dead – are they?

Er?

Beneath, within, throughout words there are energies, there are forms, there is conscious-ness and life – of course, not in a form we easily recognise in our doped up state of reasonable rationalism. Now, stop digressing me – once our glass of life-pop has been converted to not-life pop…

Euphemistically.

Ok then – dead-alive pop.

Dead-alive – hum – that sounds more like it…

Now I’m able to go where meditation could not.

You are? Where exactly?

Nowhere.

?

Precisely nowhere. You see – I’m able to zero in on my in-finity – I’m able to access my inner-circles, if not my inner-circle. You want to get rid of this idea of going “somewhere”, doing “something” at some time – all very doish, thingish and hopelessly misleading.

Er…

Instead you want to start harnessing what’s already there – by bringing death, among other things – into play – by surfing the void contained within – a kind of hollow Earth, so to speak.

Oh come on – you don’t believe that crap do you?

What?

Hollow Earth.

What doth it matter what I believe. What I believe so vehemently, is merely a reflection of my self-importance – my refusal to embrace dismal death, my unwillingness to meditate fundamentally. As long as I attach huge importance to things being true or false I’m barking up the wrong tree, I’m missing the point, am I not?

You are?

Absolutely – that no thing whatsoever can withstand the ungravity of death – the zero, the void, the conditional nature of things – my reasonable rationalism is a fair weather friend. The minute the waters of lethe are ruffled by a cold wind I start to realise every thing I defended so passionately in my life was all about validating myself, spinning a narrative, signalling to myself and the world what kind of person I wanted to be, how I wanted to be seen and known – flash flash, beep beep – busily, busily, busily – like there was no tomorrow – until, unexpectedly, I dropped dead, and stopped signalling.

Er… don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too seriously yourself? Talk about pot calling the kettle black.

Excellent. I’m passion matching.

Huh?

Matching my level of passion to yours – to provide an equal opponent.

Ok. Well I’m not sure I wish to pursue this matter any further. I still feel I have more to gain by living life positively, and I rather suspect your obsession with death is largely the result of your lack of a normal, happy home environment. I take it you’re unmarried.

Wrong.

You’re married?

Absolutely.

Why is it I shudder every time you use that word?

Absolutely?

Yes. Rrr.

Because your death denialism prevents you from dealing with fundamentals, and accessing absolutes.

Er… not too sure about that.

No – you wouldn’t be, would you? But the proof is in the pudding. You shudder when I wantonly, gaily chime “absolutely” because you become aware of the absolutes present, implied or referenced in what I say, none of which are possible without a healthy working relationship with death.

Oh.

But if, like me, you decide to get married…

What d’ya mean? You know I’m married.

A marriage of convenience.

What?! Are you insane? I happen to love my wife very much.

Yes, yes – you’re a fire breathing dragon, a cock, a bull, a tiger and a stag.

Now wait a minute…

Death – let me spin it for you right now – if you like – so you can see what you think you know.

u…

Let me call forth my wife – a wife I have learnt to love over time – as I became increasingly aware of her – as I connected with the hollow Earth, so to speak – and discovered she was as eager to meet me as I her – just as soon as I stopped imagining she could be substituted, or represented meaningfully by any female person in this wafer deep disk world we inhabit. Dorothy my dear – would you come out for a moment – I have a friend who’d love to meet you.

No, I…

What?

I have to be getting on. Things I need to do.

Things? Do? Seriously?

I…

?

I’m scared.

Of course you are. Terrified. With good reason. You should be cacking your pants right now.

I should? Why?

Because Dorothy hasn’t done her hair, has she? She wasn’t expecting you.

Oh – I hardly think that matters.

I’ll let you decide. Now, where is she? Dorothy my dear. Come out. There’s a friend I want you to meet.

But – how can she just come out?

I really have no idea. She doesn’t seem to relate to space or time the same way we do. Nor things.

Yes?

Yes. Ah – there she is. The box.

That little thing on the table?

Yes. Dora’s box. Open it would you?

I…

Can’t keep a lady waiting, can we? Wouldn’t be polite.

Oh – yes – I mean no.

Ah – there you are Dora, my dear. Our friend here – let me introduce you – it’s… hey, where’s he gone?

Apparently he’s zeroed out.

Oh hell. He hasn’t has he?

I think I was a bit much for him to handle.

You’re a bit much for me to handle too, my beloved.

Ah – Shelley – how good of you. Come to me. Let us merge.

Oh – oh – oh – the sweetest death. If only they knew.

They?

My zeroed out buddies – desperately trying to become some thing

or some one

Yes. Failing hopelessly to embrace the death

the life

within

fundamentally

missing the other-ness

of necro

philia

when the mind’s perverse distortions are replaced

with being-ness

Come Shelley – my one and all – let us merge

and in-finity be damned.

Naughty, naughty! Your words are unworthy but the little things know exactly what you meant – so no harm done. Now, let our zero equal one – let our fusion be complete

And perhaps this time – we’ll succeed in spilling a wave or two over the edge of the containment field – into the Borgish Thim over there – where our little ones are making much ado

about no thing. Oh, how your words touch me, Shelley. Come – zero

equals One

it is

i am

.

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O

er… Shelley, good joke. I didn’t know you were a magician. How did you get that doll to spin around like that, to dance on the table top…

O I

and then it turned into a dove

O I

or was that a butterfly?

O I

no matter – but amazing – I’d love to learn how you managed to create such an illusion

:-)

And she…

Dora

Yes, Dorothy seemed to be talking…

O I

Yes, she was definitely talking to me – if only I can remember what it was she said.

O I

Something I felt in my heart – I felt to be true

Ah

It was truth. That was it. Truth, and I sensed an other there.

Oh

Some one my heart aches – it longs to know better

Mm

Some one I’ve always known in my heart

O I

She’s waiting for me – she says – in Hollow Earth – and you know, the weird thing is

Yes?

I know what she meant.

You do?

Yes, I No.

0=1

Cuckoo la

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