Chapter 10 - in which Merry and Megan get to know one another

Don’t I know you?

Er…

I do, don’t I?

…

I never forget a face. Wait a second – weren’t you the trash collector who used to empty our garbage when I was a girl, back in Sacremento?

Er

You were. I know you were. My God, how weird is that. Wait a minute – there’s more, isn’t there?

Er…

Didn’t you drive a beaten up Ford Mustang – that rust bucket – it was brown and red. It had stripes down the side and big wing mirrors. Yes, I remember now – you had a figurine on the hood – a bull. Oh my God – it’s you. But that was in Tampa, Florida – back in the 90s.

Er…

You were the local Mr Fixit. You’d do plumbing, electrics – you name it. What was your name? Sweeney?

Sven, but people called me Sweeney – you’re right.

Oh my God. It’s like you’ve been following me around the States. Hang on – I’m sure there’s another one. Phoenix, Arizona.

Yes?

You were the janitor in that secretarial college I attended.

Was I?

Yeah – for sure. Grubins. Harry Grubins.

Pleased to make your acquaintance Megan.

I can’t get over this – it’s insane. Have you been stalking me all these years.

What makes you think I’d do that? Do you think I have nothing better to do than travel round the States getting low paid jobs in order to be within spitting distance of an entirely typical young woman.

Well that’s exactly how it looks from my perspective. Come to think of it Merry – you’ve got some explaining to do. Hold on – there’s more.

No, really? You seem to have a febrile imagination today Megan.

That stint in Omaha Nebraska, when I was thinking of settling down with Darren Haines. You…

Yes? Surprise me.

Jesus Christ. You were my gynaecologist.

Was I?

Oh my God. How did you get yourself appointed there?

Oh, I have a few contacts, you know.

But – I can’t believe it. You actually got yourself an appointment at CHI Health Lakeside. It’s insane.

What’s more insane is how you never figured out who I was.

I know, that’s worrying me. How come I never figured out you were the same person.

Maybe I had really good disguises?

No, you didn’t. You barely changed anything, other than your work clothes and glasses.

Then what?

There was some kind of mental block in place, wasn’t there?

If you say so.

Which has now been lifted. But how?

Or why?

Do you have to play around with me like this Merry. I’m in deadly earnest. I need to understand what’s going on.

I’d love you to do so. There’s nothing I hate more than suspense, but I’m not sure

Not sure about what?

Whether you have the intelligence to pull this off. I mean – you must be exceptionally stupid if you never clicked and connected me together over all those different placements. Er…

Don’t tell me – I know there’s an other.

Correct – but I vet you don’t get it.

I said don’t tell me, ok. I hate it when people give the game away.

Oh, I’m sorry.

You mean to say you were the vet in Springfield, Missouri?

Not exactly.

Then… no, that’s impossible.

Is it? What makes you so sure.

Because that dog was put down. It had cancer.

Did you see the body? In any case – since when was death an obstacle.

You can’t really expect me to believe that you were that stray dog we picked up and took into the vet? You can’t. Stop screwing around with my head.

Ah – this one’s really freaking you out I see. Pale. Beads of perspiration on her forehead. Looks like you’re either about to vomit or faint.

Shut up Merry. I hate you. I hate you more than anything. I…

What?

I loved that dog.

So did I.

So why are you screwing with its memory. You can’t just insert yourself into a living creature.

Wanna bet.

Well if you can – it’s definitely evil, and I want nothing more to do with you.

Understandable. If it’s any consolation she’s fine.

Who?

The dog – Empress.

Empress – I think you have the wrong one. Her name was Molly.

Correction – you and your family called her Molly. Her original owners called her Empress – so that’s how she saw herself. Anyway – she’s doing fine.

She’s dead.

And what’s that got to do with the price of lentils. Being dead is like pausing to scratch your butt.

Do you have to be so vulgar?

Vulgar? I just happened to notice you doing it on more than one occasion when I was trotting along beside you.

Well, I had a rash, Ok – but it’s not the kind of thing one mentions.

Oh – I’m sorry. I’ll try to better gage your elevated sensibilities.

Are you trying to be mean and upset me Merry – or does it just come naturally? Right now, I have a big issue with the fact that you’ve been…

Following you around? God, Megan, you take yourself soooo seriously, don’t you?

Well how else can you explain this improbable chain of apparent coincidences.

I’m asking myself the same question. Everywhere I went you just happened to pop up – like you were desperate to see me again.

Me? Desperate to see you? How dare you? Low life scum. I’m appalled that you’ve been prying on me – I can’t believe it. It’s grotesque.

And then I finally made it with a comfortable, well paid job as a gynaecologist, and who tips up at my clinic, like a recurring headache – but young Megan – with some kind of rather unpleasant venereal disease.

How dare you bring that up Merry. How dare you talk about something highly confidential. I’ll have you struck off. I’ll see you in court.

Which reminds me.

No, I know what you’re going to say and I’m not interested. For all I know you’ve probably inserted yourself into everyone I’ve ever known. Hell – you may have inserted yourself right into me. You seem to have no sense of morality, or privacy – no sense of decency whatsoever. I can’t believe Jenny bothers to see you – low life like you needs to be shunned. Get out of here – now – leave me alone or…

Er…

I said now. Or I’m going to scream.

This should be fun.

You think I’m joking Merry. GET OUT.

Read my lips Megan.       N                 O

Fake. Unimpressive. Is that the best you can do after all these years of self-indulgent self-righteousness.

You!

Yes? Give me your best shot.

You MONSTER.

Lame

I’m going to…

Explode? Here, let me help you… one, two, three – Jenny sends her love.

There – now you know.

No, it can’t be.

Just look in the mirror if you don’t believe me. Here, I happen to have one with me.

No – I can’t be one of them. She sent me to deal with the reptilians. How can I be one of them?

Where do you think they get their energy from? It’s not terribly difficult to figure it out, if you have half a brain cell in that scaly head of yours.

But…

Yes? What is it reptiloid?

How can you be so…

Cruel? Unkind? Mean? Abrasive? How many years have you had to face the simple truth – to deal with the facts Megan? And where has it got you? Have you advanced one single square?

Er… no, apparently not. But I never meant to cause harm.

Well, that’s very reassuring. I’m sure your victims would be delighted to hear you never meant to harm them.

Victims? Who did I ever hurt?

Hurt? Who said anything about hurting them.

But you said “victims”.

Killed, Megan. Why do you think Empress ended up the way she did. And as for your gynaecologist after he examined you – Doctor Colby – he didn’t last long.

What happened to him.

Cancer of the colon.

But what’s that got to do with me?

What’s anything got to do with you, reptiloid?

Stop calling me that Merry. I’m not a reptiloid. I’m not.

Wanna look in my mirror?

No. I don’t.

Wanna know why?

No. No. No. This can’t be true. This can’t be happening to me.

Oh, going to have another hissy fit are we?

Stop speaking like that. What do you think you can achieve by crushing me so heartlessly. Don’t you get it Merry. All it takes is love. I was actually helping those reptilians before you dragged me down into your underground bunker.

Well, how am I supposed to help you if you’re still intent on denying what you really are. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ve wasted enough time on you Morgan.

Morgan? What the…

Oh – your reptiloid alter-ego – Morgana le fey, or Morgan for short – they don’t worry too much about the sexes, you know.

Christ… this can’t be happening to me.

I’m sending you back – minus the mask.

No! Don’t do it Merry. I need the mask. I’ll die of shame. Leave me that – I can't face the exposure. I need my dignity. 

It’s a bit late for that Mother Teresa. Love is a double-edged sword, and it’s just sliced the fastenings off your mask. Go face the world as you know best – one, two…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’ll do it. I’ll do it – I said. Give me the mirror. I’m ready to face anything. All it takes is love! Jenny taught me that. Hold it up. One, two, three – Jenny sends me her love….

Ah! Now that’s the Megan I always knew I’d find, sooner or later. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

And I yours Merry. Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.

No really.

No really – something deep inside

A single line of code – cleverly inserted into your root directory but in fact, I can claim no merit – it was, if truth be told, all your own doing. I merely took you to the edge. You have long been building up your aptitude for healing and transformation, your willingness to descale. You were ready. You did it beautifully.

Now do you see?

I… I think I do. Which means you weren’t in fact all those different people.

Don’t be so sure Megan. The one thing you’ll learn if you come and play with me again, is that nothing, i mean no thing, is quite what it seems, and yet…

the heart beats and shines a light that transcends all. Yes. Something tells me I’ll be seeing you again, once I’ve got over the trauma of what’s happened today…

All you need is love… all together now, all you need is love, love is all you need.

And for once the cliché is sounding…

Magical

And fresh.

Amen to that... Now get out of here – I’ve got people to haunt – starting with them

Who’s that?

The poor fools reading this – imagining it’s all contained within celluloid – imagining there’s a degree of separation between them and this text. What’s it going to be this time Morgan – the donkey or the goat?

Go easy on them Merry – they’re not a bad bunch – you know.

I know. Eeyore.