Margo's donkey - don't ask me why

I say, Merry! Some of your friends are beastly unmannered to say the least! Who was that baffling young fellow who very nearly knocked me off my feet?

Oh, him – he's, er – isn't he nice?

Rude, shallow, impatient – what's so funny?

Nothing to do with you, my reverend friend.

I could have sworn you were laughing at me. I know that twinkle in your eye!

Taking everything personally, - that's where all your troubles come from.

Don't tell me you weren't going to turn and say that I was speaking about myself.

Oh, I wouldn't dream to upset or to tease you. I'm very decent.

Decent? You? Come on old chap, I've spent enough time with you to know your ways.

And what are my ways?

As if you don't know! Mirroring back what I'm saying, that's what!

Fascinating.

(aside) I must be saying something jolly foolish. That sheer boredom in his voice!

Of course you are saying something jolly foolish – but don't let it stop you. We don't need the sterile highways of thoughts, we are forging through the bushy jungles of the unknown, heading to the golden Eldorado of Isness, and who cares if we forge a scene or two on our way? That's out right and delight – so feel free to be foolish.

Really, your metaphors – hey! Did you hear my aside?!

Um, yes – asides are where all the good stuff is, wouldn't you agree?

They are supposed to be private, you know.

No – they aren't. Not when you are in charge of the scene.

Never claimed I was.

No, you just accepted it automatically – by joining me.

Fine print?

Kind of. So, er, what was it you were saying about my ways?

That they are about myself – that is, feeding back my feedback.

Really? How's that?

COME ON MERRY!!! Nobody's that stupid. Do I have to answer?

Imagine I'm one of them school teachers. They do ask silly questions, don't they, and kids have to answer. Take it easy.

Sorry. I don't know what made me roar like that. So it is true, I am rude and angry, and I am a dumbass who lacks any discipline – so that's why I was so annoyed by that  id... by that chap.

He's a promising lad though, wouldn't you say? Isn't he promising?

He is absolutely hopeless, and I don't know why you would waste your time on him!

Never think afore you speak, is that your motto?

Oh – I – I didn't mean that.

Of course you did. That's why you said it. That's great – grand – so don't be shy, let it all out. Hopeless, eh?

Merry – oh, Merry –

Yes? That's me.

Oh Merry – I'm hopeless. I know I am. I get angry so easily and I speak rubbish all the time – I'm just a clumsy little troll compared with you. It's really nice of you to try to teach me -

Nobody's teaching you – save yourself.

Guide me, then. You are the most wonderful guide I could dream of –

(aside) You are dreaming.

Am I?.. Anyway – I'm really, truly grateful – but when I see your nonchalant magic, your impeccable foolery – and then see the more clearly what a braying donkey I am – oh, Merry – and calling that young kettle black! So what if he left me a bruise or so in a fit of ill temper? I've no call to be offended, I'm no better than him – no, I'm just the same! Just the same!..

Have you finished your brooding?

(a sullen nod)

Good, let's see if anything's about to hatch, then.

(without any warning Merry hits his friend with such art that the latter tumbles over and finds himself standing on his hands, upside-down. No matter how he kicks the air he simply can't get on his feet again)

Calm down, lad. Gravity is gravity, you're not going to fly into the sky. Relax. Now – our hands are trained to feel. So use your hands to feel your connection with the ground. Do that. Trace that. Don't worry about blood coming to your head. Let it circulate. Yes – you are hopelessly stupid. We all are. Let your feet be like balloons. Relax. Breathe normally. That's fine. Yes – you are hopelessly full of pain and anger. But don't let it stop you. Be aware, not afflicted. Unwind yourself. That's right. Aren't you magical! Right. And yes – you are just like that boy.

So that was me after all, that unfortunate lad.

Nope. That was me.

You?!

Steady on, don't lose your balance. That might be fatal.

But – you! There's nothing more far from you than that angry dumbass!

And yet that angry dumbass is really me. Ah, good old times!

I don't understand.

There's nothing to understand. It's easy as a doornail.

Easy as a doornail? That's new.

But still easy. You didn't think I was any different from you, did you?

Uh – to be honest, that's exactly what I think. But the difference is simply tremendous! That arrogant fellow – and you!

Mind-boggling, isn't it.

What happened? What caused such transmutation? A faery stepped on your head? A witch dropped you in her cauldron? What? What?

Not-what. That's who we originally are – even if we have to invent ourselves anew.

Well – it might be your case but I wasn't born with magic in my blood!

Didn't you see the young fellow? There's not a shred of magic about him – and yet he is the Merry you know and adore.

Yes, but you're – you're an alien, a faery...

Not really. I be what I be – don't bother. I am many things and many nothings. Just like you are.

I'm not!

Love your Italiano gesticulattio. The most convincing. Capisci?

Look, I – wait, how can I be gesticulating if I'm standing on my hands?

(and then he notices he's been flying all along)

Yep.

Time to invent yourself – freely.

Time to fly – shamelessly.

Time to be – truly.

See you.

Ciao!