We seem to have reached the bottom of the pit. We've been digging hard. We've shifted a vast pile of dirt, and finally we're here. The arkenstone - the crystal of all crystals which is supposed to be at the bottom is about to be retrieved - or so we believe - those of us in the know. This will give us the power to shed light on all the great mysteries and finally put the world, and indeed the entire universe, in order... so we believe, for everything we've ever learned, everything we've ever attempted has been based on this premise - and it certainly looks as if the entire universe has been aiding and assisting us in this great endeavour - we've come so far - we've succeeded so breathtakingly in our take over of the entire physical world.
Smashing things together - that's what we're really good at.
We've built these particle accelerators-cum-colliders. We accelerate these atoms to within a whisker of light speed and then, guess what we do? No idea? Well, I won't keep you in suspense any longer. We actually smash these particles together in order to reveal the secrets of the universe - because the secrets of the universe are contained within atoms. Buried in each atom is a tiny widget that is the lynchpin, the key of all that is, the thing that thingifies all things, that turns non-matter into matter. Neat, isn't it?
Now if we wanted to discover the secrets of time, what we'd do is go and get some really amazing Swiss chronometers - because the expensive ones are never just called "watches" or "clocks" - they're always "timepieces" or "chronometers" - and we'd scientifically smash them to pieces in order to discover all the components contained therein. Eventually we'd locate the elusive "time particle" - I call it the chronosplat - because chrono as you all know means time in Latin or Greek, and splat refers to the noise it makes when we squish it with our highly scientific multi-billion dollar hammer.
If we were looking for the life particle - which I've no doubt we'll start to hunt around for just as soon as we've got God neatly taped up in his very own sub-atomic particle, we'll naturally want to use specimens of the highest life form - which in our humble opinion is man. No point looking for an inferior grade of life particle, is there? So, we'll devise a life zapper - all under rigorous scientific conditions with no trace of sentimentality. We'll start with single cells - probably stem cells, but in the end we'll set up a breeding programme and we'll start zapping complete biological entities, which we'll call CBEs, as opposed to "humans" - as the latter term is overcharged with sentimental, emotional associations. If we're able to zap the CBEs under the right conditions - at either extreme temperature and pressure, or under extreme emotional stress - we'll discover that CBE emitting some kind of exotic life particle at the moment of expiration - and with that particle we'll be able to put life into any old pile of semi-organic matter, which will obviously do wonders for our research funding and the state of humanity as a whole - the two being inextricably correlated in our humble opinion.
I haven't yet decided what we'll call the life particle - nor even whether to use the Greek or Latin root. Some input from you, esteemed board members of Final Solutions incorporated would be appreciated. To date I've only come up with "bioflux" and "animucus" both of which are clearly contenders - but with so many great thinkers working at FS inc I'm certainly open to your suggestions.
So the particle, as you all know - is obviously what holds every thing together. There have been detractors and nay-sayers who fail to accept the material basis of all that is. They've had the temerity to say that smashing particles together is no more intelligent than crashing cars. They don't seem to realise that beggars can't be choosers. If there was a scalpel that could dissect these atoms - we'd use it - but we're looking for the stuff hidden within the high energy fields of Big Bang, so we do need to recreate those conditions. Some fear mongers have said that doing so could reverse Big Bang itself, causing all matter to flip into a matterless state, but to be honest, we've had long enough to speculate about this. The march of scientific progress cannot be halted for the hysteria of the faint hearted. It's our job to get to the bottom of things - and that's exactly what we're doing, digging and smashing.
But surely there's more than matter at the root of all that is - you know - like consciousness, for example?
Yes, I heard about the Indian heresy - but what do you expect from a bunch of consciousness cult members. They've just tried to hide God inside their version of consciousness, probably because they've got so many gods in the Indian pantheon that without Consciousness as some kind of supreme force or quasi-Being - they'd be hopelessly lost. But it won't do. We're not falling for that consciousness nonsense. We're certainly not going to stop smashing atoms in order to attempt tofind the basis of all matter in some kind of transcendental meditation. That would be as bad as taking ayahuasca.
One of them, whose name strangely enough is Pi, had the temerity to suggest that the micro and the macro are interchangeable in a fractal universe - that we could find everything we were looking for at the subatomic scale at any other scale or singularity - whether that be the galactic, the platerary or even the human. Can you believe it!? He thought we could just "meditate on things" and prove that life is the constant, which electromagnetically is none other than consciousness, and that instead of smashing we should try attuning - "as soon as you set the intention to attune to life's first flowering - no thing can keep you from finding whatever you truly seek" - as if meditation is going to help us achieve full spectrum world domination.
Paradoxically, as we advance in our material quest for knowledge, humanity grows weaker and increasingly degenerate, but soon we'll have the solutions to grow and develop the kind of CBEs that we require to keep this laboratory planet at the cutting edge of scientific enquiry, and whatever we learn along the way, you can be sure we'll use it to assist the masses, despite their pitiful ignorance of all that truly matters.
We're also setting up a William Shakespeare project to show how random collisions can and do result in great works of art, which is in fact precisely how the universe generates form and meaning from random, meaningless events. You have to realise that the works of William Shakespeare - far from being a huge or great achievement, are merely a pitiful chip off the all encompassing, immeasurably meaningful block of proto matter - matter so dense and weighty that it was contained within its own blackhole and thus occupied zero time or space - until, that is, as an act of great hubris and disobedience, a phantom shade of matter dared to question the supreme authority of the all-knowingness, the infinite information field that is the disembodied state of mindless matter, dared to take a little knowledge from the tree and use that in defiance of the whole, to collapse the waveform of proto-matter, causing a horrendous chain reaction, a mutation that spawned the universe through Big Bang and brought us to where we are today.
I am happy to say that with higgs boson we're finally able to square the circle - to return to the perfect cube of the all knowing mindless matter. Justice at last, and an end to the great rebellion led by Merry and his cohorts at the nefarious g-nome portal - who have dared to ask about the place of humour in the greater order of things, who dared to suggest that life loves to laugh - and other cheap platitudes. We'll see who's laughing when they're all back in cages like lab rats, reabsorbed into the all-knowingness, the infinite field of proto-matter.
Magicks - Merry even likes to consider himself some kind of pseudo-scientist - but he can't stop playing with a childish fantasy. He thinks there's some kind of story that is in the telling - a plot that holds everything together and that thing or matter pops in or out of existence based on the story we're creating with our thoughts, words and actions. The guy's really clutching at straws, though I have to admit that g-nome portal is almost entirely undetectable, and seems to be able to shift the narrative of whatever is happening in the world on a daily basis. We're attempting to bring down the portal as an obvious threat to our rational world order, but with no success to date, such is the sophistication of their cloaking. Its logic gates use no logic our computers can yet handle. 0=1 seems to be their insanity which is also their greatest strength. How can you attack guys who are using an operating system built on paradox and the bio-logic intrinsic to 0=1? But they're just a few renegades. No thing can stop our final solution as we recreate the intense energies of Big Bang and...
Squish. Mind no more. Story complete.
...Ah, there you are. We've finally managed to re-Is your matterings. That was some virus you were infected with. Amazing - and to think that you did it all yourself. It's going to take a while to get you back to normal, but as time is definitely on our side, in fact we have it in almost limitless supply, let's enjoy the process. I'd like to assure you that your re-induction into the Isness is going to be a whole lot of fun - challenging, stimulating, magical, mystical and even sensuous. So let's get started... on the count of three
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