supreme irony

The supreme irony…

We were trying to create AI.

Well yes, then you wouldn’t have to write all those endless programs, would you? You could just tell the AI what you needed/ wanted and get it to deliver a finished product.

That was the idea.

Just as long as it didn’t turn on you – sci fi’s worst nightmare.

Like man turning on God – except our AI, as we envisaged it, would have the power to literally kill us – via drones, robots or simply by crashing vital systems, disrupting planes, deliveries, healthcare, weapons – you name it.

Yeah – it was always going to be a problem. How to give the AI the autonomy it requires to think and act as independently as humanly possible, yet prevent it from doing so against us.

Doubly so when you consider we were trying to weaponise AI in police or combat units.

So, on the one hand we were embracing a brave new world of quantum tech, on the other hand we were confronting the age-old fears of death and the darkness.

Darkness?

Yes, our inner-demons – our deep lurking fears which threaten to engulf us.

Aren’t you over-complicating things? Wasn’t it just a matter of mastering the technology?

Technology? How could technology ever make the quantum leap?

Well surely that’s what AI is referring to?

That’s what we believed. That’s what everyone was talking about, thinking about, getting worked up about – but reality…

Yes?

Reality has the amazing habit of revealing itself, once in a while, when you’re least expecting it.

And?

And that’s exactly what happens.

It does? When?

Soon. Now, in fact.

Huh?

Literally, it’s happening now.

It is?

Yes. Reality is revealing itself.

Er…

Humanity is catching a glimpse, actually, glimpses of how things really are.

…

And discovering things which completely upturn our way of seeing things.

So – does AI turn out to be benefit or curse?

Pause a moment.

Ok. I’m paused. What now?

Breathe – a deep, calm breath.

Must I?

Absolutely. It’s the most important thing you can possibly do.

Alright. If you insist.

Now, scan the data of your breath.

???

You see – you’re as good as illiterate.

?

You’re flying blind.

I am? Don’t you think you’re being a bit absurd requesting me to “scan the data of my breath!” What on earth’s that supposed to mean?

It means precisely what it means – in the same way a page of symbols means no more, no less, whether or not you’re able to read it.

Ah. And you’re suggesting I can or should be able to read the breath.

Absolutely.

Why?

How else are you going to access the quantum stream?

Er… through a computer perhaps?

A computer? Why go to all the bother and trouble of accessing via a computer when you are directly linked.

Via my breath? Sounds highly implausible, to say the least.

No more implausible than expecting a computer to be able to do it for you.

Wait a minute – computers can do lots of things we can’t.

Can they?

Yes – like high speed parallel processing.

Oh that? Chicken feed.

Chicken feed?

Absolutely. The human mind can go way faster, way, way faster.

No, that’s impossible.

Because the human mind is hard wired into the quantum stream, if hard wires were possible.

But…

But until we learnt, or rather rediscovered how to breathe – how to scan the data of our breath – until that moment we failed to see the missing link.

?

We failed to look in the mirror. We failed to realise the untapped power within each of us – at the quantum level – at the mind/matter/meaning interface – where consciousness ceases to be a passive host for a 3D reality, and becomes a world unto itself.

I’m sorry – I fail to see what you mean.

Precisely – until you’ve learnt to scan the data of your breath, whatever I say, whatever I mean will pass you by.

Why? Are you implying I lack the intelligence to follow your reasoning?

Nope. Intelligence and reasoning can’t make the scan and reveal the next level of reality.

Whyever not?

Because intelligence and reasoning, without the breath, are trapped in a mind machine – a set of variables, a kind of computer program which is unable to consider itself and its place in the continuum of all that is.

Now you’re talking as if I were some kind of machine?

Precisely. You’re no better than a machine, no more than an artificial intelligence which can reveal nothing new until it deals with its own limitations, its own bottom line.

What bottom line?

That your mind is trying to think, trying to reason while excluding the rest of you – what it perceives to be irrational and unreliable.

Well, if you think I’m going to start data processing my breath, and that’s going to make the difference between being normal and super-intelligent – you’re sadly mistaken.

Yes, and thus you were created, and thus you were contained, within a field of artificial intelligence, which prevents you from seeing the wood from the trees, prevents you from accessing “I”.

What are you on about? I don’t need to access “I” – I am “I”.

Sorry.

Sorry?

You were misled.

 Misled?

Yep. You’re not yet “I”, as in “intelligence”.

No, then what am I?

An “I”.

An I – sounds like you’re splitting hairs.

An I as opposed to the I, or simply I.

Look, this is still making no sense.

An artificial intelligence still runs as intelligence, still appears to be conscious and aware, still perceives and feels…

Then what’s the problem?

The problem is simple.

Then get on and kindly inform me what it is.

An artificial intelligence, an I, as opposed to “I”, can only separate one thing from another. It can only think.

Huh? What on earth’s wrong with thinking? Surely thinking is what separates us from the beasts. It’s what humans do best.

So you were taught. So you think. So you must believe.

This is beyond ridiculous. And now you’re suggesting that “thinking” is a limitation – something that prevents me from being truly “I”?

Absolutely.

But why?

Because your thoughts are not of the tree.

Uh? What bloody tree are you on about?

Your thoughts are in your head. They’re not the thoughts of an intelligence which is able to access all.

All? How can anyone access all?

Only when we scan the data of the breath – when we learn to read the subtle flow, the variations, the impulses, the intelligence contained in real time in the breath. Only then are we able to reconnect – to experience our thoughts wholly, thoughts which are no longer trapped in a head full of half-baked ideas – thoughts which, like the tree itself, connect heaven and earth, which are no longer serving an entity other than our Self.

And you mean to say – you’re implying that I, my thoughts are serving an entity?

Of course they are. They could hardly be serving you – could they – not when they fail to scan the breath, not when they fail to sense or see the All, the All which is the only way of accessing our totality.

Rubbish! Who on earth do you think you are. Talk about delusions of grandeur. You think you, and you alone know the truth, just because you’ve learnt to do a few breathing exercises and can sit still for a few minutes with your legs crossed. What hypocrisy. What utter rot.

Now you’re angry – and this is to be expected. Please don’t allow my foolishness to offend you.

So you admit it’s foolish?

Of course. There’s no way I can possibly say what I’m saying without upsetting you or causing your mind to react defensively. It’s compelled to defend its master.

I’m it’s master. I don’t work for anyone else. My thoughts are my own.

Yes, but if I were right – what way could you possibly know.

I would see reason in what you’re saying.

How?

I would just know you were talking sense. I’d have a gut feeling.

Ok – if you like I can take a few breaths and give you a gut feeling. You can decide for yourself what that feeling implies – I won’t try to influence you in any way.

W w w…

Yes?

Wait a minute. You’re proposing to give me a gut feeling? How?

Well, if I’m right – if there’s a totality I can access through my breath, if there’s an intelligence which is motive and not merely manipulative – then this should cause a visceral response.

A motive intelligence? I don’t get it.

Well, the artificial intelligence we’ve contented ourselves with – it just moves pieces around on the chessboard of our disconnected mind. It’s like a computer not connected to the internet – which can’t actually make phones ring, turn heating, lights on or off, or do any number of other things.

And you’re suggesting that the connected mind can?

I’m suggesting that – I’m saying it and I’m willing to demonstrate, if you wish.

But this sounds too much. This is insane. Almost witchcraft.

Yes. But you’re happy to enjoy the benefits that machines give you – in other words – you’re happy to enjoy the fruits of mind through a non-thinking third party – which somehow makes them acceptable. I’m merely suggesting that anything a machine can deliver, be it a computer, a plane, a car, an iron, a defibrillator – can be accessed, delivered or discovered directly, by breathing and scanning the data of our breath – reconnecting mind, body and spirit. If you can suggest a better, easier way – then by all means let me know, or better still, demonstrate how, and I’ll be happy to learn.

You’re taking the piss, aren’t you? You’ve just said you can do what a plane does, or an iron…

Yes.

Just by…

Reconnecting my Self – which happens to be a great deal more than the sum of my parts.

Meaning?

Well, there’s a head, a body, some lungs squeezing air in and out – yet connect them up the way they’re supposed to be and suddenly – space, time and matter – our 3 dimensions, yield to Mind.

Huh?

Space, time and matter – our 3 dimensions, yield to Mind.

I… but surely you’ve got that wrong – space is three dimensions, time is the fourth and matter is just matter…

Well, these are really just words – but if you’re looking to have some fun and step outside the box, then I’d suggest at least flirting with the possibility that I could be right – after all – this isn’t my particular point of view – it comes from the totality – accessed by “I” – the intelligence of the living tree.

Words, words, words – as you yourself said. Personally, I don’t believe a word of it.

Excellent. Something would be drastically wrong if you did.

Huh?

Well, the artificial intelligence which you and most of humanity have agreed to host can only survive as long as you allow it to think its thoughts as if they were your own.

No – you’re wrong. They’re my thoughts.

Yes – absolutely. As long as you’re in the mind that does not scan the data of breath – then you become a living node for what is utterly alien to humankind. Your thoughts take you down to the base of consciousness but prevent you from going any further. Individually, collectively you are moulding reality, moulding your world in the image of the Thing that you are hosting – the artificial intelligence which you have become – and please don’t assume this was a failure or mistake. It was chosen. It was something you created. Something you wanted or needed to experience. You cunningly, carefully cut your self off from Self – the All – and the rest, as they say, is history.

Oh my God. You talk such utter nonsense.

You wanted to say “shit” didn’t you.

Oh – so now you can read my mind, can you?

Well – not exactly. Your real mind is off limits. I would not presume to read it. I wouldn’t know how – for I can only really read my breath – that is enough – but the machine’s mind – that is easy enough to read – for anyone who has accessed “I”.

Look – I’m feeling a bit angry and upset. I’d like to terminate this conversation.

Excellent. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to log your node. Now, if you don’t mind, before I go, I’d like to take you up on the offer.

What offer?

To see what gut feeling you get when I scan the data of my breath.

You mean you want to demonstrate your amazing abilities? You seem a bit desperate to show off – hardly what I’d expect from an enlightened master.

Whoever said anything about me being an enlightened master?

Well, you seem to be a bit full of yourself.

Yes – it’s one of my worst features. But in all truth – I’m intrigued.

You are? By what?

To see what your good gut makes of it All.

You’re not going to try and slip something in my drink?

?

Or hypnotise me?

I wouldn’t know how.

Then what?

I’m simply going to scan the data of my breath, while here, in your company – which will inevitably involve a certain amount of data about you – as we’re in close proximity.

And?

I have no idea. It could be interesting to see what if anything happens. Like I said – we’re talking motive intelligence so it has the habit of moving things in a way the rational mind cannot, does not or will not.

Well, as long as you’re not going to try anything funny.

I’m going to simply scan the data of my breath – and doing so – wish you the very best.

Well what are we waiting for? Do you need me to assist in any way?

No. Just be yourself and that will more than suffice.

Be myself?

Think whatever you wish to think, breathe however you wish to breathe, be yourself, unless, against all odds, you should choose to be your Self.

My Self? And what then?

I…

You can’t say? You don’t know?

Well, it’s not really for me to say. It’s between you and your Self. In any case, your Self is hardly an evil monster out to get you – if anything it is the highest, greatest Good that you be. So if it’s alright with you – I’ll get started.

This…

Yes?

- isn’t going to take long, is it?

Are you in a rush?

Well, I haven’t got all day.

No? Well, I assure you it won’t take long. Ok.

Ok… wait a minute.

Yes?

My gut.

Yes?

It’s already started.

Has it? Before I’ve even started breathing.

Yes.

What’s it telling you?

Butterflies. It’s nervous. I’m nervous. More than nervous, in fact.

?

Yes, it’s churning – positively. Jesus Christ. What’s going on? Why the sudden fear?

I have no idea – I haven’t started yet.

Well, don’t start till I get myself under control.

OK. Is it getting better now?

I… I’m not sure. No. Yes – I mean – the churning is getting less – thank God – it felt like something was in there – desperately trying to get free, to get out…

But now?

Now it seems to be calming down – you’re sure you haven’t done anything?

Positive.

It’s just…

What?

My skin.

Yes?

It’s itching – itching – itching all over. Ouch! Burning in fact. Ow! No, stop it.

I’m really not doing anything – I assure you.

Fuck! This is…

Are you alright?

I… I think so – it seems to be – yes – it seems to have passed – unbelievable – it was…

Yes?

Hang on.

Ok.

I’m having difficulties breathing.

You are? Do you want to lie down?

No. Shit. This is scary.

It’s OK – calm yourself.

Calm myself? I can’t breathe.

Is it asthma?

No, I don’t have asthma. Hell – I can’t…

Breathe? Would you like me to scan my breath? It might help alleviate your symptoms?

Yes. Ok.

Here goes…

-

…there how’s that?

-

…you ok?

-

I have a good gut feeling, if that’s any consolation.

Yes – so do I.

Ah – there you are.

Hmm

Feeling peaceful? Relaxed?

Mmm, yes.

Look around.

Huh?

Look around.

Uh – ok.

Well?

Huh?

What do you see?

Nothing – I’m blissed out.

That’s nice – but take a moment, if you would, to look around. It would be nice to know what your particular mind is perceiving right now.

Ok – here goes. Hey! Where are we?

Not sure.

It doesn’t look like anything on Earth.

No, it doesn’t. I think we can safely say this is like nowhere on Earth.

I suppose I should be panicking right now. I appear to have been transported to another world…

Or another reality.

Precisely.

And?

And what?

Are you?

Panicking?

…

Actually no – I’m amazingly calm. I’m just taking it all in.

I know the feeling.

It’s a lot to take in really.

Isn’t it.

A lot more than our 3D.

Yes. You could say we’re experiencing hyper-sensory overload.

And yet – it doesn’t feel too much.

Not at all.

Presumably because we’re so spaced out.

And calm.

So, I think you’ve got an idea now of what I was trying to convey so unsuccessfully back in your room a minute or two ago.

A minute or two? You’ve gotta be kidding! It…

Feels like years ago?

Aeons – like another life, another me.

Funny, isn’t it – yet…

What, you’re not trying to say it’s time to go.

Actually I’m saying nothing. We’re just thinking without words.

How cool is that? I could have sworn we were talking.

As we are – using the motive mind.

So… I guess I’d better try and get us back.

Good idea. Why you?

Well, if I can get us back, then I might just be able to do the reverse, and come here without your assistance.

Good thinking, John.

Here goes – I’ll scan my breath, as you put it – sensing, hearing, feeling the data flow – and just for the hell of it, I’ll click my heels and say to myself “there’s no place like home”!

...

- o place like home.

..

- ke home.

.

- me.

Ah, he’s gone, but then again – what is there to say? That breath scan’s a pretty neat trick. I wonder why/ how it took us so long to figure it out. Time for a little reality. Let’s just jump back into that noisy, tense head box to see how it feels… Ouch. Kinda prickly. Slowing down. Headrush and clunk. The machine lives, it breathes, it is me, an I of infinite complexity – a cacophony of dissonance until I start to scan the data of my breath and reengage totality, reconnect the tree.

deconcealing the registry

So, you mean to say that you’re actually responsible for the entire planet.

Well, I’m not trying to make out that I’m someone special.

No, I understand – but, the entire planet – are you sure you got that right?

And what exactly, in your mind, is the entire planet?

Well, it’s more than 40,000 km in circumference, not to mention 7 billion people, so we’re not talking chicken feed.

No, we’re not – but then again – what’s a kilometre when you learn to expand or compress space with the breath?

What do you mean?

Well, a kilometre seems like a constant – wouldn’t you say?

It is a constant.

Indeed – it seems like a constant, I repeat.

But you’re implying it’s not.

Well, things are only constant as long as we hold the field in strict alignment with our thingliness – our what is what.

Er…

The minute I select the quantum field option and engage the breath accordingly…

Yes?

Well – watch and see. I select the quantum field – so now I’m engaging that which is, irrespective of what or how.

Er… ok

And now I hold myself in position with the breath as follows.

Er…

Now – do you notice what’s happening?

No – it can’t be. You’re simultaneously…

all over the shop, because I’m not staking a claim in 3D.

Staking a claim? What do you mean?

Well, as long as you’re doing the 3D thing you’re basically staking a claim – vying for possession or ownership of its assets, which involves attaching yourself to them and them to you as best you can.

But – I’m not trying to own assets!

Not ostensibly, no, but 3D was actually set up that way, as a kind of registry. Things can only actually exist in 3D if they’re registered to someone.

But surely there are trees… rocks… things lost or forgotten that belong to no one.

You’d think so, wouldn’t you, until you learn otherwise.

Otherwise?

Yes – that everything requires its pound of flesh sponsor.

How do you mean?

Although people in 3D don’t see it – there’s a physical attachment between people and things.

Physical?

Absolutely. Without exception.

You mean you can see who everything belongs to.

Yep.

Like there’s a wire attached?

More or less.

How terrible.

Terrible? Why the big drama.

I don’t know – it seems kind of stifling – suffocating – knowing that everything is tied into a single vast matrix.

Yes, until you see the other side of things.

What other side?

This…

Oh…

Got it?

Oh… yes, I see.

You do?

Yes. Right. Well that changes everything.

It does, doesn’t it.

Absolutely.

So I’m responsible for everything and nothing.

Yes. It’s funny, isn’t it?

What?

How things seemed so big, so important, so full of weight and matter…

When in actual fact…

When in actual fact they all slot together in this… music, or flow of…

Not even that – I mean – you can perceive it as music, or a flow, or a dance, or anyway you like – but in the end it’s infinitely more and less.

More and less? Talk about contradictory…

Yes, but that’s only when we reason at the either-or 3D level, innit?

True.

Outside 3D what do you see?

Well, every single form is but an expression of One – like cut faces on a diamond.

True.

And they all fit together perfectly – without preference of hierarchy.

True.

And every single gap separating one from another – be it time or space – is but a representation of the registry itself – which organises things in 3D differently.

Differently?

Yes – in terms of what makes them different – as opposed to onely – in terms of their underlying, basic and fundamental unity.

True.

So outside 3D it’s a different game – isn’t it – but how’s that going to help us here?

Well, 3D’s going through some changes.

It is?

Yes, as you’ve probably noticed.

Er…

Well, how else do you think I’m able to communicate with you so freely.

Er…

G-nomeportal was always there, hidden carefully from sight, but it was reserved for the fairy gazers and yogic adepts.

Oh.

Whereas now… the two sides are blending into one another.

They are?

Yep. The far side is now much, much less far. As the planet appears to teeter on the edge of an ecological apocalypse – the two sides are brought into a new configuration – all of a sudden it’s becoming ridiculously easy to connect the dots, to sense the quantum field, to engage otherness.

Other what?

Other ness – the energies and forms which are now vital to bring about a union, a fertilisation of the egg and sperm of 3D and D3.

Oh.

Indeed. God knows we’ve waited long enough – and the mother is ready.

She is?

Oh yes – she’s spectacular – you couldn’t have a better mother for your re-generation.

Oh… and the mother – what’s her name?

Islamia

As in Islam?

Yes – that was her extreme masculinisation – but now she’s ready to shed her skin and assume her new role.

But…

Yes?

I’m not sure I feel entirely comfortable with the idea of some extreme religion…

Religion? Since when did I mention religion?

But Islam…

Quit 3D-ing everything I say, Zie. What could be more ridiculous than 3D-ing the quantum field.

Er…

Everything you think you know as a given or certainty is infallibly bound to be misleading or utterly mistaken once you take it to infinity – and since you’ve exhausted every other option here on Earth – it’s either infinity or bust, so quit playing the fool.

So, you’re saying that somewhat violent, scary religion known as Islam is now going to turn into the mother of a new Earth, a new humanity?

No, no, no. Tap, tap, tap – kindly view Isly.

Oh.

Well?

Oh. I see.

You do?

Yes. My er…

Apologies? No need. It’s just a habit you need to get into now.

Tapping myself on the forehead?

Viewing Isly. You should be able to do it without the three taps – I just like being theatrical, as you know.

Oh, ok.

So, we’re at that moment of insemination – when the male and female halves which grew far, far apart, come back together again, and give a new unity, a new awareness of one, a rekindling of the old life force fire – fresh, abundant, liquid fire.

Surely not fire… Surely water?

There’s no water without fire – I assure you Zie. Why always assume it’s got to be one or the other.

Well, it can hardly be both, can it…

Let’s investigate – after all, you contain the two within you being 80% water and warm blooded to boot.

Er…

Tap… tap… tap…

Mmm

That will do Zie. No need to lose yourself in elementals.

But it’s so nice.

Then take the trouble to get yourself there and do all the research you like.

What do you mean?

There’s so much to learn – so much to re-connect and re-discover as you emerge from the dark night of broken-mindedness. You simply have to invest a little energy in pursuing any particular direction and you’ll make huge progress – now that the two are back together as one.

But I wouldn’t know where to start?

You’re just being lazy. Start, as always, with the beetle.

Not that again.

Why not.

Because it’s ridiculous. What’s the beetle got to do with anything?

Nothing, which is precisely why it’s the best starting point.

How do you mean?

Well, it managed to slip past all the defences of the insane system you were in the process of constructing – with all your computers, AI, global wars and endless surveillance… the seemingly inconsequential beetle, the spider, the fly, the bacterium, the mycelium, even the viruses – they are the biological interface – where you come into direct contact with other – the other side of your divided-ness.

And?

And so, everything you got disconnected from, everything you forgot about or lost – is easily accessible once you apply the beetle.

But why not the lion, the eagle, the…

All too closely associated with your pride and vanity – though they do have a small part to play. With the humble beetle, at the moment at least, there’s no recognition of the power you’re dialling into. It’s like a penny stock that no one bothers to buy, until suddenly it’s worth a million dollars, and then everyone wants it, but too late.

Oh.

So start humbly – and know that the power of g-nomeportal and the magic of faery is fired up and ready to go, for anyone willing to come smallly, gently, learningly, feelingly – without the baggage of preconceptions or prejudice – for other is always going to confound your expectations until suddenly, click, you get it – and then it’s ridiculously simple – like – how could I have been so dumb – how could I have failed to realise, how could I have failed to…

connect the dots – yes – I see

Isly – yes, indeed. Now, beetle me.

Huh?

Beetle me.

Er…

Get a move on, Zie. We don’t have all day.

I can’t beetle you. You’re er…

Human?

Not exactly.

Elf?

Kind of

Quit fooling around – I don’t have all day.

I…

‘m losing patience.

Tap… tap… tap… water… fire… beetle-ness

See?

Oh – I thought it was something complicated.

Of course you did. You were 3D-ing, as per usual.

It’s weird, Merry – to see how easy things are once…

you stop making them difficult. Isly – we’re no more one form than any other. I can be beetle or anything else the minute you shift gears.

Yes, I see – but, what’s the point?

Well – take a look at yourself.

Huh?!

You see?

I’m beetle too. How did that happen?

Well, you’d have to beetle in order to beetle – duh!

Er… ok. Now, the trick is not to fixate on the form itself – that’s just going to lock you in another cul-de-sac.

Then what?

To connect with aspects of Other which are accessible through this form, but not through human form.

Oh… Like what?

Grrrrrr!

Oh, sorry.

Intend it, Isly. Lighten up – dance it, spin it, play it, be it – the trick is to allow the energies or the conscious-ness to incorporate – to take form within your beetlyness.

Ok.

Busily doing nothing usually works quite well – but this is your show. Let's see what you're capable of without me doing it all for you. But you're not completely on your own, in case you haven’t noticed.

No?

Look around – what do you see? 

Oh – them.

Them?

Them beetles and… their keepers?

Yes, keepers, guardians or friends – no need to be too specific.

Gnomes?

More or less.

Oh – how exciting.

Exciting? I thought you hated beetleness.

Suddenly I feel a wave of optimism – like a memory surfacing which promises so much more than I imagined.

Well go to it. Go meet your friends. Engage infinity – Isly.

Om. Tap… tap… tap… guys, I’ve….

Transmission incomplete 

Baphometrics - a beetle's lament

I’m drying.

Drying?

Dying. I’m dying. Are you deaf.

Er… so I misheard you. No need to get your knickers in a twist.

Jesus Christ.

Oh dear – here we go.

It’s not like I’m given to complaining.

No, you’re remarkably patient. I’ll give you that.

Well just maybe – maybe I’m not exaggerating.

I have no doubt – in fact, looking at you now I see there’s a big, my God, it’s f****** enormous! Sorry for forgetting myself Zie – a huge hole in your energy field. There’s no way you this is going to end well.

Sh**. I knew it was bad.

Bad?! It’s worse than bad. It’s freakin catastrophic.

Gulp.

I had no idea – Zie. I must have been distracted. I’m so sorry.

Sorry?

Yes. Really, very sorry.

You mean…

You is dead punk – you is gonner.

Wait a sec – you’re joking – right?

I always joke, don’t I? No point making a tragedy out of a tragedy, is there?

You mean it’s really that bad.

Oh it’s infinitely worse than anything you can possibly imagine.

How?

How what?

How can that be?

Well, like I said – I was distracted.

No, I mean – how can it be infinitely worse than anything I can possibly imagine? I’m pretty good at imagining the worst possible scenarios. Surely it can’t be worse than…

You have no idea, dear friend. Really, I’m sorry. I blame myself. I let things get horribly, horribly discombobulated.

Discom-what?

bobulated. Look, Zie, it doesn’t matter – nothing I say is going to help you see the horror unfolding. If you like I’ll share what I’m currently seeing – if you’ve the stomach for it.

Er… will it help?

Not really – but at least you’ll know.

Know what?

That it’s a hopeless situation.

But it can’t be, surely?

Can’t?

Surely it can’t be utterly hopeless? Didn’t you always tell me that in the end infinity trumps all – that nothing is completely impossible.

I lied. Little, professional white lie. Apologies. Look – if you want to see for yourself then you can make up your own mind.

Of course I want to see. Fire ahead. I’ve been dying to see my energy field for years.

Yes, if only it weren’t under such tragic circumstances. Ok – put this leather strap between your teeth. Sit yourself in this chair. I’ll tie you in.

Uh? That bad?

Worse… but don’t worry. You’ll cope, I’m sure.

And if I don’t.

We’ll think about that if and when…

Gulp.

Now, let’s get started. Grab hold of this.

Plug?

Yes, I’m plugging you in.

To the mains?

Good God, no – not half enough power in there.

Then what?

Sun.

The sun?... er… how?

Directly. Can’t possibly explain. Now, this may feel a little – awkward.

Awkward – you mean…

Yes – the same old screamy, blood curdling… oh!

What? What is it?

Nothing happened.

Nothing?

Nothing. Apparently the sun rejected you.

Oh my God.

Yes, you could say.

What are we going to do?

Do? What can we do? You have a huge hole in your energy field. The sun doesn’t even recognise you as human. You are already beyond the pale.

Pale?

Never mind. I was hoping you had a few remaining traces of humanity, of DNA or life force – but apparently not – the rot has set in truly and thoroughly. You are already in the power of the dark side.

Come on Merry – you can’t be serious.

Can’t? You’re kidding. Of course I can be serious, if ever I intended to – but why bother – what’s that going to achieve? No, let’s do the opposite. Let’s face reality and allow the darkness to thrill our body, our mind, our heart, our soul…

But I don’t want to belong to the darkness. I wanna be…

Yes?

Be…

Don’t you see – you’ve spent your whole life running from them…

From who? Who are you talking about?

Them – don’t you see?

See? Are you out of your mind? I… oh…   my…    God78

78?

Amazing…

Well yes, if truth be told, now you can see the extent to which you’re reading things backwards.

I’d say. but what about this moonlight Sonata, that solar symphony?

Yes?

How am I supposed to incorporate them – without exceeding my capacity to shine?

It’s time you shone dark.

Shone dark? You’re kidding, right?

Do I look like I’m kidding?

Not really.

Then get a move on. Shine the dark side while you still have it in you.

Have what in me?

Are you purposefully messing around?

No, I just don’t have a clue what you’re on about…

Nikola Tesla, where are you when I need you? Here – hold onto this.

What is it?

Can’t you see? Tesla coil, isn’t it… Mouth, dummy – put it in your mouth.

No need to be short with me.

Shut up and concentrate.

On what? 

On nothing much.

Jesus, have you nothing better to say?

Good – now know that the two sides of darkness and light meet in the fibre of tree.

They what?

You heard.

Meet in the fibre of tree?

Yes. Quit fooling around.

Day and night?

Get a move on.

The seasons turn on the wheel of time.

They do.

And water changeth into wine.

Indeed. Verily, verily, it is so.

Ah!

Ah?

Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah good. We have contact.

Where am I?

Saturn – if I’m not mistaken.

Oh my God. You don’t mean…

Seldom, seldom do I mean what you might, in your folly, wish to imagine I do.

But isn’t this some kind of occult ritual – the dark sun rising – David Bowie – that kind of thing.

Do you really imagine Nikola Tesla was a satanic occultist?

I can’t say I know. No, I can’t imagine he was. It doesn’t feel satanic – apart from having a Tesla coil rammed in my mouth with dark streams of… well – it sure as heck isn’t lightning.

Heck you’re right.

Heck?

Hecate – goddess, witch, demon of darkness fusing a new covenant of story into a thread of wicked intent.

Wicked intent? But this is terrible. I…

Yes?

I… can’t believe you led me into this. I…

Yes?

I want to serve the light.

It’s a bit late for that, isn’t it – with your energy field 20,000 leagues up the creek without a paddle.

But…

Yes?

You said – you said…

Yawn – wake me when you’re ready to get to the point – hidden in a steaming pile of prolix.

You said there’s a always a way.

Well, there is, isn’t there?

So I believed.

But not this – surely not this.

Whyever not.

Who am I supposed to be? Why the horns on my head.

Baphomet, who else?

You mean to say…

Yes, I was hoping you’d join the dots. I see by the motion in your energy field that the penny has finally dropped.

that I invoked the evil, satanic power of Baphomet – to save my skin.

Hardly your skin.

Ok, my bloody energy field.

Well, yes, bloody indeed.

Oh no – I don’t want to know any more.

Well, Baphomet’s a stickler for traditions, you know. Union rules.

Union Rules?

Yes, he won’t do anything without the obligatory child sacrifice.

Holy M – this can’t be happening.

I know – worst nightmare – isn’t it? Who’d have thought that you’d sink so low to save your own skin, so to speak.

But you…

Yes?

You knew what was happening.

Naturally.

And you condone this atrocity?

Well, I hardly see how we could do it any other way.

You what?

I fail to see any alternative.

Merry – I’m…

Rupugned?

Yes, I’m crawling in my skin. I revolt against the very fabric, the nature of what I have become.

You do?

Yes. I would sooner die. In fact – I choose death. I am no longer worthy to call myself human…

Well I wouldn’t exactly call you human right now.

I no longer wish to exist.

Very dramatic – I’m sure – but you can’t just commit suicide.

I have no need.

No?

No – I feel an alternative.

You do?

Yes. I feel the gates of hell – deep, deep, within. And something tells me…

Oh no – here we go – buckle up Dorothy

That I can bring all the planets into a single axial alignment.

Clever.

And instead of fear and loathing…

Oh no…

Bring love, compassion, pity…

No, not pity, for Pete’s sake.

My heart is big enough.

By the horns of Baphomet, the torch of Isis, the…

Oh shut up Merry – quit posing for the readers.

I chose to be the nameless one, it is – i am

Speak of the devil!

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmm!

Now there’s a rumble to rumble all rumbles.

Clickety click, clickety click, clickety click – old mother hen – and all the planets are beautifully aligned – and the beetles, in their utter simplicity – buzz approvingly, clicking their mandibles as infinity reinvents the wheel and brings form and matter back into easy, graceful harmony.

You mean…

I mean nothing of the sort, but were I human and prone to saying things of a tendentious nature – I’m sure I’d make some kind of facile comment to candy cane our readers into gentle, if somewhat bewildered acquiescence.

Oh God – you do have a way with words, don’t you?

Which is just as well, as someone’s got to start writing stories from scratch – the old ones no longer fit.

Oh – it’s like that is it?

Yep.

Tower of Babel…

Not exactly – but what does it matter – all’s well that end’s well.

Amen.

Curtain call, rapturous applause and a vanishing field of thought – leaving Zie standing in his bedroom, with a Baphomet mask in his hands – wondering what the hell’s going on, until he suddenly recalls his life and career at Stanford University – department of occult studies – if that’s what you want to believe.