recoding reality, reintroducing weird or wyrd, rehabilitating is or ess

fearsome beauty is

chapter i

so you're ready to let weird 

back into your life

to rescind the rigid protocols of mind

put in place long  

 long ago

protocols that filtered out all

manifestations of  weird

no matter what

no matter how

 manifestations 

which otherwise would have

compelled us

to look at things

                in different light

 askance   no less

had we seen

had we known

the true nature of  things

the nature of what simply

           i            s

the  e s s

the fundamental interbreathe

                               interbreath_

                                    interbreed

between things that are matter

                                      and things that are  nought

had we seen

don’t rush

had we known

nice and slow

 what is    what

this polarising mechanism

separating   

       differentiating

       making matter

                                    matter

how what enables us to thing 

                    things

to lend them  gravity and mass

borrowing from what is not

                         from nought

                         from what seems to be

                                            null and void
          what 3D mind cannot perceive 

          and i needs must ignore

                                                or else   collapse the house of cards 

                                                    that is  material reality

      yet all the while  unknowingly

                                       we draw forth

        e s s   from nought                     

from not-what the conscious mind

         not what me

         not what i

         not what my     mind        gap    mine

         not what                              thing

         not what                              thought

in short    by bridging the    i s    divide

                     the seemingly innocuous equals sign

                by engaging infinity drive

                by revealing the wheel in   line

                                         the space in  time

                                         the matter in  nought

                                         the moment-um in  thought

and thus we convert

        thus we transduce 

                we       meld      e s s   into  a

                            moment in form on the scrolling page of consciousness

                            activating 3D     the holographic screen of what seems to be            

                            materially

                                               and  elicit   other

                                           the dark side

                                           and alleged enemy

                                           the not-what   cryptically    me thinks   breathe    it  i s

                                   an all pervasive paradox

                                   demon dance  of inertial gravity

                                   shadow of any thing  or any thought

                                   no matter   what

                                                       inside-out 3D

                                                            essing    e s s

                                                  the subtextual bubbliness 

                                 of   i s             the quantum stream

chapter ii

but how   you rightly ask

       how can things be borrowed into existence

how can things matter massively and with    gravitas

   if they are based on  nought     that is       null and void

                                                     

this cannot be done except by sleight of hand

                                   or            sleight of mind

by wilfully turning a  wondrously blind eye to all that  is

by radar jamming infinity with       a constant stream of

                                what is not        

                 and thus engineering      a version

                                    or vision      of things      

              a spellbinding narrative      perceived to be      

                                      material      reality

                          spatially termed      3D

                     utterly convincing      utterly real

                                            yet      nought

                                        

                    how   you ask    could this be achieved

                      in truth   dear friends   you already know

                    but i shall act as wet nurse to your deep memories  

                    turning the wheel  to help you feel your way home

                    how did we arrive here    you asked

                       by weaving    interlacing threads  of  feeling and thought

                       by knitting things from nought  

                       by knotting myself emotionally into the fabric of what

                                                                 seems to be     though is not

                    how  you asked  

                                           have you ever wondered how you breathe

                                           have you ever stopped long enough to feel

                                           to experience   to know   the breath that is     i  am

                of course you have

                and yet       of course         have always turned back      as agreed

                back towards the thing       the great what not           the machine we’ve

                been working on     digging     building     encrypting     encoding

                the machine that is mind       that is matter       that is 3D         what

                                                                                                             seems  to be

             

                rejoice                                                               it is complete

                ah me

                                 what a wondrous work it  is been

                                  what a wondrous journey into the tangled confusion

                                    of split infinity

chapter iii

       dear friends  of weird and wonderful

in which fearsome beauty is revealed

it is time to declare the simple truth 

                                                      at first  anti-climactically

                     0 = 1                  it  is                i   am

the change is in              the road through dark the night of the soul

                                       complete

naturally       mind  finds this hard to grasp

and continues to turn away     as if things are still things

as if  i  is still  me

as if we
               are bound to trudge eternally
                                                           round

yoked to an insatiable reality

and yet    i cannot deny      truth

   the change is in

and though seemingly incomprehensible to you

i gladly repeat

0 = 1                  it  is                i   am

in little or no time

you will see     you will know    but whilst you wait

let me quote from the handbook of what is paradoxically  not

to give your busy minds a taste of nought     to revive the ess within

                                                                                                                                                                dot dot dot  a

this 0=1    cannot be grasped by thinking       it

                 must be breathed 

                 directly experienced  no less

                 must be  i s-ed    be    e s s-ed

by full immersion in the conscious stream

   nothing less       will do

                                            0=1

                     calmly                                             

                            it is             patiently            i am

                                                    

 no matter how far apart

      the two seem

   the commonality of be

voids all distance or space     between

as does the equals sign in math

 it is                                     i am

spread them out and let       ess          work its wonders

 observe the magic of in finity      no less

   and as i breathe

and breath sustains       maintains

my field of consciousness

try it and see                        experiment

        for instance

 it is          i am                      tree

                                               experience the  tri    as in three

 it is          i am                      bird

 it is          i am                      that person     what’s been upsetting you

    ah      do you see

try it      dear friend in truth

feel the resistance

 the frothy indignation

the        no  you don’t understand

               it’s not what you think

and let it go back and forth across the tennis court of consciousness

o'er the mind's dividing net

                            its equals sign

like a tennis   ball in flight

delighting in this motion
as two sides battle it   out

 indefatigably            interminably

 as your mind struggles to play by the old rules

inadvertently taking sides

yet now becoming     strangely aware

  it starts to feel                to sense

the field

the quantum stream   metaphors abound       of consciousness

until i finally knows                                                                                                                                                    softly

knows                   

that every thing 

 cancels out   numerically

  the precise amount

  of what and what is  not

               the zero sum

                      one         and glorious nought
                                       with me  inconceivably   in between



chapter iv

                                                                     

 let us follow breath down

                       through matter

  to source code  itself

  now free   to fly on wings

                                     of consciousness

 to let go of things

that held me back  

        held me  down  

        that trapped

                me in 3D   machine of my own  

                                                       making

here goes         

                                                                     

           release      breath                               breathe

           shift           breath                               breathe

          flight           i                                         ee

           as wheels within wheels

                worlds within worlds 

                minds     gap        mind

           whirr

           coalesce

           unfold       e s s

                  the nature of breath

           the simple truth

              the       0  =  1

           that lies beyond word

                          number

                            thought        or thing 

 ssh

          deathly interlude             fiercely caught between           

                                                                                                         

    but        oh

                 tell out my soul 

        a   fearsome beauty is

                            i    s

  wait for it

       i s

                  reach for it

       i s

 yearn for it

       i s

   pray for it

       i s

 weep for it

       i s

         live for it

       i s

 sing for it

       i s

  if need be   even 

                     die for  it

       i s               

                       i am

                                                     

  

                                               in    finity

            

                             expire                                              inspire                                         ing

                                                                          uncontainably

...

dimentia - trapped in a third dimension of thought

                  [infinity drive  is]

if you can think it

         forget it

         breathe it  instead

we’ve been taught to believe that thinking is the best way to figure things out.

have you ever considered what “thinking” really is? or what it amounts to?

probably not. you probably assume automatically that thinking’s what we’re supposed to do – being rational folk – how else are we going to figure things things out if not by thinking? that’s our chief responsibility, isn’t it?

thus the logic goes – and it seems bomb proof – largely because we have no real comprehension of what thinking amounts to. it’s mostly just an assumption that there’s no alternative to "thought" – so let’s just get on, scratch our heads and think, as we were taught to at school, and doing so try to make things a little better for ourselves, and for society in general.

right?

wrong!

thinking is like borrowing money to pay off debt.

short term it might seem to do the trick, but it ends up compounding the problem.  the more we think about "things" the more things there are.   the two are directly related.

whenever you think some thing you generate more things, inevitably – though these new things may at first be abstract, mere thought forms – sooner or later they will, and do, materialise – somehow or other, somewhere. unwittingly you are adding to the preponderance, the predominance, the hegemony of things. you are affirming, upholding and in a sense worshipping at the altar of “God” – the god of things that matter, things that can be named, counted, ordered and organised by mental thought – the kind of God that is male, rational, jealous of His way of seeing and doing things – dismissive or hostile to anyone or anything that might undermine the central dogma of things and thought.

but what alternative could there be? i’m sure you’re burning to know.
does it not seem absurd – heretical even, that there could be an alternative to things and thought?

it should do – after all, that’s all we know how to do.

try for a moment to still your thoughts. i bet you anything you can’t.

tell someone not to think of a pig in a ballet dress, and what’s the first thought form that flashes through their mind?

do you really imagine it’s that easy to control your thinking mind – or that you’re the one in charge?

oh – you’re the host – I’ll grant you that – but you might be the host of unwelcome guests – head lice for instance.

if you’re not able to still your thoughts and exercise absolute control over them – then perhaps the tail, in fact, wags the dog; perhaps your thoughts serve another master – no matter how unlikely that may seem to your highly rational, thinking mind – after all, your mind is part of the thought machine – it’s hardly going to give the game away, is it? it’s hardly going to announce that your thoughts are somewhat akin to a program or process which ensures you generate a constant stream of thought form or thought output. that would be counterproductive. that might lead to rebellion. so you’re supposed to believe that you’re the master – in the same way the mass electorate are supposed to believe they’re master when they cast their vote at election times, allowing the political class to impose new taxes, new laws controlling or restricting them, as in, you, as in, me.

so supposing – just supposing there is an alternative.

what? how can there be?

ah – that’s the mind’s anti-threat system in action.
you see, the very supposition that there might be an alternative to thought is dangerous.

contemplation, you see, can quickly lead us to awareness that anything, in fact, is possible: that things  aren't necessarily what we think they are.
so instead of thinking things and trying to figure them out, we could, or perhaps should, shift one step back

instead of focussing on things – which are merely the result, the projection of an essence unseen into this, our dimension of thought – we can, and, in fact should deal with flow, field, flux, the isness of being – without, necessarily, authorising thought to enthing that essence into one form or another.

what – you mean that things can just float around in a formless state? sounds...

preposterous – yes, of course it does. the rational mind is designed to raise the clamour of absurdity, of non-sense whenever you deal with the isness – the essence – the unthinged, unthought is,
and it does a very good job keeping people focussed on externalities,
on the result rather than the cause, and yet, our failure to even consider the possibility of dealing directly with the “isness” or investigate how this might be possible, ensures we’ll never even learn what we're capable of
always one step behind – like the hunter pointing his gun directly at the duck flying past – he misses the mark,

like the cat trying to catch the laser light projected onto the floor,

or the sailor trying to catch the wind with a hook instead of a sail,
it looks absurd, does it not
and yet we continue to assume that thought is of the essence, that the dog can’t catch its tail simply because it isn’t spinning fast enough, yet perhaps, just perhaps, thought was never designed to catch the thing it’s chasing – but to generate an endless stream of etheric form – the so called thought form – which must be commercially valuable to someone or something – otherwise, why else would they have invested so much in training us to be such assiduous thinkers, rather than sailors capable of navigating the quantum stream, or happen-makers, gaily playing with essences and atomies – whichever allusion you prefer.

you see, to engage the essence by thought process can only be done if you and your thoughts are one and undivided – if you are absolute master of them and in complete harmony with them.
anything less and the liquid essence will flow through them like water through a fishing net. so let's pause a moment in thought, to consider how best to embrace the essence... er

stop

feel the breath as it slides through the channel out there beyond you and back into your body;

feel the two sides as the breath connects them umbilically, out and in, beyond and within

linger a moment while something other than thought does its job, organising your breathing,
holding equilibrium,
and wonder how in fact it all works

            seamlessly, ineffably, seemingly unconsciously

       that will do... now cast a line out into the tidal flow, the quantum stream of thingless thought, as you sense the conscious awareness unfolding its wings, slipstreaming you into the great um, the bottomless er  i know not what, oftentimes referred to as “infinity”, though knowing words cannot escape the gravitational flatline of things, hold your mind aloof

instead

feel the flow of all that is – how you are   pause    nexus   pause   interface,

aware of anything relevant or pertinent to your present position in the multi-dimensional

dimensionless field of space-time-thought... um

   space-time-thought

      er  space-time-thought

          sense how you are, and never were, separate from whatever you are thinking,
               from whatever thought is

                      and    i am
                              one

they are fundamentally

interconnected, intertwined

                                              inexplicably  one

this is the basis, the bedrock of conscious awareness

   that whatever you are conscious or aware of  you are somehow a part of

and the more you allow yourself to see this

sense this

breathe this

be this

the more you become navigator, explorer, happen-maker, divinator of the quantum stream,

the less you serve the God of things – who requires an endless stream of thoughts from you as payment for what He is able to grant the good, trusty faithful few and far between.

don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong, or right, for that matter, with God in thought.

linguistically, God is what? strictly speaking thing no less than table, life, fish or spoon, but there’s a fundamental difference between what God might be in essence, and the thing that God represents, accessed by thought.

  see the difference?

it should be clear – if you’re willing to sense the allness, the oneness, the isness of be, rather than being determined to determine what something is – soothing though this, undoubtedly, is for your thinking mind.

of course, it goes without saying that the rational mind is upset by the notion of thinglessness, nought or infinity – which is why it needs a good level of comfortable support – through the breath or song, some kind of mantra, dance or exercise – to keep it  calm      relaxed
                                                                   have fun, it's a wonderful journey with plenty of help along the way
then, when thinking mind is relaxed, like a dog you’ve taken the trouble to feed and stroke lovingly, conscious awareness – whatever that is – quietly takes centre stage with easy grace, and reveals whether there be mind beyond thought, substance beyond matter, er
and the rest, as they say       is

things

         i’m talking things

         till i’m blue in the face

think no more

         be the space between thoughts

         fully

the story so far

         nothing to say

         nothing to do

the box

          is round

          unless you’re square

i’m treading lightly between stars

           rhythmically

           elipsing space time

what do you mean my friend

           what mean you

           neither mean nor do

addendum – for the science buffs

it goes without saying that space-time-thought

is rarely taught in schools or universities

in the same way you’re seldom taught to consider the axis connecting whatever you’re observing, visually or mentally, with the central eye, or i, of the observer that you comprise or constitute

i wonder why

too simple for words, perhaps

                          or thought

            mmm      beauty, they say, is in the eye

                                                                        aye, of the  beholder
                                 be             hold                   er

                                                                                 is it  not

falling asleep tea

it seemed the right thing to do

  it seemed the right thing to do

you mean you went head to head with matter itself

with everything   because it seemed right       

amazing

because in a sense

that was the only way i could remain true

to myself

to yourself

to myself – that was the only way

by letting go of whatever it was

whatever it is i’ve been holding onto

all these years     letting go

and shifting down into   is

the simple truth

0=1

it is   i am

0=1

it is    i am

one more time

0=1

it is     i jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj am

er jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj what’s that

sorry zie – i fell asleep with my finger on that particular key

oh  ok – so you’re saying i can shift down into er...

 is

into  is – and that’s enough

enough – that’s all there is

all there is?

all – in truth there’s only is

and what then?

i jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

you fell asleep again?

oops – sorry zie

you should get some rest – take a break

i will – just as soon as i’ve completed is

completed is – i don’t see how

in my case it involved leaving my home  casting myself into the arms of infinity

you mean coming here   to Russia

i mean in accepting the narrative of is  becoming the living legend  becoming story itself

don’t you think you’re somewhat overstating the case   inflating the old ego   blowing your own trumpet

there’s that to consider but the proof as they say is in the pudding so get a load of this

wait a minute – no – what are you doing – oh my god’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

you fell asleep

no i just lost track of things momentarily when you fell over backwards and failed to hit the deck

ah that – yes it’s somewhat unnerving wouldn’t you say

unnerving – it’s downright creepy – my stomach’s all over the place – i’m feelingjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

j – you fell asleep

oh dear – i’m infected by you

would you like to give it a try

to fall over backwards without hitting my head – no thank you very much – i have better ways to crack open the nut that is me at odds with infinity

like how

i could try to breathe – i’m sure you recommended that before sometime

oh wonderful – shall we start right away

er – bit busy right now – maybe some other time

ah – it’s like that – here watch this

stop it – no – aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

did you fall asleep again

kind of – er – how come i was floating alongside you just then

you know –  0=1

0=1?

it is   i am

it is? i am?

yes – just without the questioning tone

but how merry – how did i float alongside

does it really matter? is it bothering you?

well frankly – yes – if i’m gonna float in the air i want to know how it’s taking

palrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

palrrr?

oops – i was gone again – taking place – it’s contrary to the laws of physics

but not the laws of is

the what

the laws of is – the constitution – so to speak – of physical reality

er...

which state that

oh god     let me guess    0=1      it is       i am

yes      how did you guess?

i have no broken records less repetitive than you merry

oh how sweet, thank you mary

mary? i’m zie

apologies zie – you’re mary in another incarnation – i get these things confused from time to time

you confuse me and another person – how

oh you know – surfing the quantum stream one becomes aware of multiple avenues

multiple avenues?

parallel realities

parallel or interconnecting – they’re all much of a much – it is being i am

well, i a bit huffy about that – i still haven’t accepted your premise on that score merry

haven’t you? would you like to see a full demonstration of the interconnectedness of all that is?

no, not if it involves eating magic mushrooms – like it did last time

no, that was a one off

then what?

this       pop

oh my god      where did you go

here      inside you

oh my god – stop messing around merry

catch me if you can

i can’t even see you, where are you for god’s sake

right here     presently behind your nose     in the front part of your brain

get out      i never gave you permission to enter my body

now i’m sliding down your spine     wheeeeee      this is fun

stop merry – i absolutely refuse to allow you to continue using me this way

coming down to your feet – you’d be amazed how it looks from inside

do you hear me    merry     get out of my private space

oh come on zie      loosen up a bit     here     let me see what happens when i press your funny bone

nooooooooooooooooooo

there you are      i thought you’d never join me

but how can i join you inside me?

residual imagery in 3D – the matrix doesn’t let go – it continues generating a version of you

but you disappeared

yes – i’m rather pleased with myself – didn’t i do well

but how

it’s a bit like leaning against the movement of the train on the tube and not falling over

it is?

so here we are – standing astride the parallel lines – the equals sign – surfing the quantum stream

anything else?

well yes – time space as opposed to space time – we simply reversed the flow – so now i is and it am

oh god – i wish i didn’t know

don’t worry zie – you’re going to love it – just as soon as you stop insisting that things are set in stone

but they have to be – otherwise everything’s going to fall apart

just as soon as you start enjoying the ultimate experiencing in surfing you could possibly wish for

you mean this? it er... doesn’t seem much to me

oh really – here we go

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

me thinks she doth protest too much – lighten up zie – you’re loving it you know

i may be – but i’m feeling sick and disoriented

then sit yourself down on the ground over there

ok – good idea

there how does that feel

wow – strangely – amazingly good

and what if i told you we’re not in your room

do you have to

no – but if i did

er – where might we be

we might be anywhere – after surfing the quantum stream of is – place is neither here nor there

still feeling amazingly good – but there’s a part of me that’s wanting to panic – still more or less under control

australia, not far from pine gap

oh nooooooooooooooooo bad – very bad – reverse that merry

ok – we’re at your home

phew

only the curtains are a different colour

oh

and so is the carpet

oh

and er – it’s night time here

shit

it’s looking suspiciously like we popped out of the quantum stream in pine gap of all places – i wonder why

you are kidding – right

here – let’s go outside and take a look around

no can do merry – something inside me’s all locked rigid

mm – breathing exercises

won’t work – this feels way too...

knock

hey – what did you do that for

do what?

rap me on the head

oh – i’m sorry – did i

yes – but don’t worry – it’s no big deal – i’m hungry – let’s go for something to eat

great – there’s a diner round the block

the block – which one’s that

you know – 42^nd avenue

new york?

apparently so

merry – what’s going on – i’m not even freaking out any more

good – because you going to have to get us home – i’m out of juice

oh my god – you’re kidding right

yes – actually no – but it’ll be alright – you’re doing fine – just tap your heals together three times and say

tonto – there’s no place like home

that’s it

ok – hang on – if we’re in new york let’s have a bite to eat – i’d hate to come all this way for nothing, you know

ok – wear these glasses – you’re still looking somewhat vaguely defined

i am?

a little – they’ll stop people from freaking out

you mean i’m a ghost?

no – ghosts don’t wear glasses do they

oh no – i nearly forgotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

ah    there you are   mary   i’ve been meaning to ask you about that dream you keep on having     let’s make ourselves comfortable before we begin      what do you think would be the best harmonic

let’s bring the 33^rd century up   i feel it deals with the raw pain and confusion of my zie experiences better than any other space in time

excellent choice    this is quite a journey you’re taking us on

who would have thought that the waking nightmare of those violent years  could open up an infinity of depth and harmony

indeed     the perfect harmonic   abyss   an almost impenetrable absence of accord   yet there in the darkness   in the wailing cacophony of dissonance    emerges the first note of an entirely new universe of sound

as merry and zie are taking a cup of tea in a diner on 42^nd Avenue    battling with somnolencessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

oh dear i seem to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

cut       paste

a cup of tea floating in a tree  upside down  apparently     until i adjust the frame of perception  and bring the variables back into harmony   feeling the music  permeating    throughout    transforming the image and associated emotions     memories    into pure    sound

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