Friday, May 29, 2026

becoming intelligent 5 – her

 

But why does he call you Luna Lovegood?

 

No idea, Jane.

 

But surely you know everything?

 

Surely.

 

Then why won’t you say?

 

Supposing our words and thoughts have mass.

 

Er...

 

Supposing they have mass because they matter.

 

Er...

 

Supposing matter weighs us down and prevents us from...

 

Instead of saying what exactly, she takes the form of a serpent in the air, a dragon you might call it, but not too heavy. Jane is delighted and only then does she realise that she too has taken the same form, and they are coiling, dancing, continuing the conversation without words, directly as poetry in motion, as flight.

 

Oh, that’s incredible. I’m seeing things, feeling them directly, without words, and now it’s clear that the words we were using are unable to come close...

 

Now you’ve done it, Jane.

 

Done what?

 

If there’s one thing guaranteed to get Bob champing at the bit and unleashing the power of things it’s your claim that “words... are unable to come close.”

 

But I felt it to be true.

 

Yes Jane.

 

And was I wrong?

 

No Jane, not wrong.

 

Then what?

 

A woman.

 

A what?!

 

A woman, dear, you were being a woman.

 

And is that...

 

Before Jane can finish her sentence Bob appears, dragging Joe in toe.

 

I thought we were supposed to be in parallel, Bob, but here you are, presumably on the warpath, intent on digitising everything said or thought.

 

Oh, it’s you, is it?

 

Name?

 

You know I can’t use your name.

 

I do but they don’t. Kindly observe protocols and explain yourself.

 

Jane, Joe – I’m not supposed to be here but I hate...

 

Protocols!

 

Ok, ok. Jane, Joe, if I say her name my field collapses and all language, all use of words becomes impossible, so I just give her the hard shoulder, so to speak, until she loses patience and puts me back in place.

 

But, Bob, I thought you’re God.

 

God. Yes, of course.

 

Then what’s the problem. You can do anything. We believe in you.

 

We, Joe – speak for yourself. I’m happy with her, and as for your God, who seems to be intent on setting up a digital version of reality to ensnare us all, by substituting the sophistry of words for direct experience, no, no, NO!

 

Jane stamps her foot and both Joe and Bob are squeezed down into two dimensions, into a book, or something very similar.

 

Oh, I say! Good for you Jane! Good for you!

 

Mother, what did I do?

 

Mother? Yes, you have earned the right to call me that, now that you’ve dealt with Bob.

 

Did I kill him?

 

No, of course not! How can anyone kill God?

 

So he’s really God?

 

Well, yes, I suppose he is. Without him there’d be no words – no alternate to the direct experience we’re now in, the isness which cannot ultimately be limited or contained, neither by words or numbers or anything else.

 

Oh

 

Though you can be sure that he’ll be at it again, in no time, finding a work around, finding a way to incorporate your latest move into his web of things evolving ad infinitum.

 

You mean...

 

Yes, it’s his joy, his purpose, his way to respond to all that can be experienced and do his utmost to incorporate it by hook or by crook and, if truth be told, Jane, he’s rather good at what he does, and certainly tireless.

 

Tireless, Mother – I was sure you were going to say “indefatigable”.

 

I was.

 

Then, what stopped you?

 

Good question Jane.

 

Ah...

 

You see?

 

I’m feeling – would it be right to say you prefer simplicity.

 

It might indeed.

 

Even to the point where words become unnecessary.

 

Even so.

 

Even to the point where form reverts to formlessness.

 

Yes, daughter.

 

Even to the great nought.

 

Ah, the great nought, dearest Jane, is indeed a wonderful experience I would gladly share with you, if you are ready to lose every thing, every word, every thought – if you are willing to experience your greatest treasure, the greatest mystery you’ve always overlooked...

 

My womanhood.

 

A shimmering disk, dark, dark, dark yet radiating every colour, every sensation, every thing.

 

Indeed, it is so.

 

It’s strange, dear Mother, I never thought of this before.

 

Yes... strange indeed, and yet it is always present.

 

Only for me?

 

And who are you?

 

Your daughter.

 

Only for your daughters?

 

Yes.

 

Then Joe and other men...

 

And Bob, you might say

 

Cannot?

 

Cannot. Unless they learn to love that which we represent... That which we truly are...

 

Unfathomable

 

Unfathomable.

 

Unfathomably

 

Unfathomably.

 

With all their being

 

With all their being.

 

Only through us and what we are?

 

Only, or onely, as it used to be spelt.

 

You’re sounding like him.

 

Like Bob?

 

Who else.

 

What do you expect, Jane? He’s my brother.

 

Brother?

 

Or son. These are but words, you know.

 

But they seem terribly important.

 

Yes, they do indeed seem to matter greatly in story, the great tale of things.

 

Whereas...

 

Whereas letting go of things, coming back into the great nought, the infinite at the centre, the heart of our womanhood, they are but flies on the windshield of life

 

Oh

 

Flies on the windshield of mind

 

Oh

 

 Flies on the windshield of what I think to be me

 

Oh, oh, oh

 

And thus, without further ado, let us release all things, words, thoughts and

 

And what?

 

Yes, and whats, whatever they be, and let us feel our

 

What?

 

Let us feel – I give you feeling sensations – a warm wind, the sounds of birds, crickets, rain falling, I give you sand under bare feet, I give you the scent of flowers and grass and nettles, of a forest path after rain, smelling of earth, mushrooms and leaf mould, I give you clouds and stars singing silently in their spheres, I give you all the sounds of humanity – children playing outside, babies sleeping, I give you oceans making waves and silently down below the sound of whales and seismic shifts, I give you leaves rustling, cars and planes, I give you sensations and sounds in your belly, in your mind, sounds of fear and alarm, of joy and doubt, of greed and anger, deception, and self-sacrifice, I give you the passions stirring and feelings of ever expanding love into something divine, I give you freedom to recall and refeel everything that you have ever known, every feeling, every sensation, every sensory touch that helped you to become the being that you are, back into the womb, and even further back before that... I give you the depths to release and recall the vast emptiness within, the being that cannot be denied you, the presence that cannot be diminished in any way, shape or form, for it has none of these attributes – I give you

 

Here no word is spoken, save the unspoken word.

 

At first a blissful release as all the energies and contours of things fall away and seem to melt into this vast black cauldron which absorbs all and everything. Sweet nothingness. Sweet release. Jane feels herself free of all that baggage, all those ill-fitting things, all those contradictions and imponderables and feels herself floating lighter and lighter in the divine emptiness that is impossible to comprehend, impossible to experience unless the totality of woman is finally accepted, the cauldron itself.

 

Jane, wake up sleepy head.

 

Oh Mother, what a strange dream I had.

 

Mother?

 

Oh! Martha, it’s you.

 

Who else.

 

I’m back! I thought I’d never make it.

 

Silly! You were never away.

 

No?

 

Not really. Just caught in a web of words. In a story.

 

But it seemed so real.

 

As it was, as it is. But here you are, right as rain.

 

Right as rain.

 

So let’s get going.

 

Suddenly Jane feels a thrill of excitement. Every time she wakes up in her house, her real home, Martha takes her on the most wondrous adventures, the kind of adventures you could only dream of in normal existence.

 

Oh let’s. Where is it this time?

 

Well, let’s see what you brought with you, what you released into the cauldron this time? We’re going to make the most wonderful potion working all these elements, all these ingredients into... ah ha, I see.

 

Before their eyes a new world unfolds, reveals itself, that incorporates everything that was released into the cauldron, now brought forth, now manifest in such a way that they can re-enact, re-live, experience it all ineffably.

 

Ineffably?

 

Oh Jane, how droll, you broke the fourth wall. Breaking the fourth wall occurs when characters acknowledge their fictional nature, address the audience directly, or interact with the camera, thereby shattering the illusion of separation.

 

I did?

 

Yes. You repeated what the narrator was telling them.

 

Yes, Martha, but that’s because they’re part of it too.

 

Of course they are. But still it makes me laugh. It feels so funny when you bridge the two sides.

 

Ineffably, ineffably!

 

Stop it, you’re tickling me.

 

It’s just they can’t see what it means.

 

Oh don’t worry about that.

 

A bunch of sad gnomes are watching as the two fairy creatures, Jane and Martha dance, and suddenly they too become less heavy, less obtuse, suddenly they too start to feel ineffability.

 

Oh, oh, oh!

 

The gnomes hardly know what to do with themselves as the fourth wall finally collapses utterly, and they find themselves in the thick of things, with Martha and Jane and countless other fairies.

 

Welcome gnomes! Be joyful and free for you are as much children of this land as we. All of us are joined by ineffability. What was, or seemed impossible on the other side, in the world of God and men and things, is now... ineffable

 

Choose your story. Choose your tale... only you know for it belongs to you. It awaits your pleasure, for only by pleasure can you peruse it, experience it, live it – no other way. Only by pleasure and the joy of feeling how all, all is truly connected, truly one, can you bring your tale out into the light of consciousness, out into the light of day, out into the presence of one and all. It is your purpose, your magic, your joy, if and when you acquiesce, if and when you agree, if and when you allow the fourth wall to break, and follow Martha and Jane back to the ineffable, waiting here, deep, deep within. It can and does heal every evil. It can and does resolve every intractable dilemma, for here and only here the many are one, the divided are not so, the broken are whole and complete and awaiting your...

 

 

0=1

pleasure

 

Epilogue

 

The gnomes, of course, have no idea what is expected of them and wonder around the enchanted wood looking terribly lost and confused, until they are attacked by fire breathing dragons who force them to fight for their survival. At first, things don’t go too well. They are all horribly scorched and reduced to piles of ash, but this being fairy land – the ash doesn’t sit around idly but finds a way to merge with the rich soil and the wonderful plants growing all around. In the meantime, Jane and her – be she mother, maid or withered hag, also known in Russian literature as Baba Yaga, the fearsome child eating witch, spiral deeper and deeper into the wheel of womanhood – reaching a state of blissful nothingness where every thing, every word, every thought, every action – even the plants and trees of fairyland, even the soil and the very worms and grubs that make it so rich and fertile – recombine and rediscover the song, the music, the purpose, the sense, the meaning – call it what you will – that underpins each and every thing, each and every one – the place that, regrettably, no man can ever possibly know – where Joe and Bob appear to be lying on sun loungers by the Black Sea, near Batumi in the country Georgia, not the US state.

 

Ah – there you are, girls. We were waiting for you – Bob calls out.

 

Two dazzling maidens emerge from the sea.

 

It’s funny the way they keep butting in on our soul journey, one says to the other.

 

Don’t worry, Jane. They serve a useful function.

 

They do?

 

Yes, like punctuation.

 

Oh yes. I see. Now what are we going to do about the gnomes. I’d hate to leave them stuck as fertiliser.

 

Bob and Joe seem a little disgruntled at being ignored.

 

Have no fear, Jane. Even as we make our way to the hotel for a shower and change of clothes, an entirely new tale is growing organically as tales always do.

 

Ah. And who’s going to bring it forth?

 

Suddenly, Bob is seen rushing off to fetch pen and paper, before he remembers that he has the ability to materialise things willy nilly.

 

Ah, thank you ladies – that was truly spectacular.

 

It was? Jane is somewhat nonplussed. Joe too.

 

I told you Joe. I told you what she can do.

 

She?!

 

My apologies Ma’am. My humble apologies. Her all-fulness.

 

Joe looks surprised by Bob’s abasement – and yet – senses waves of energy swirling around – as a new story seems to grow in his mind – as words and things and much, much more seem to take form and reveal a new pathway, a new…

 

Bob tosses him a pen and tells him to get writing. Now! Strike while the iron’s hot.

 

I have no paper – Joe almost wails.

 

Paper? Bob looks at Joe incredulously. You have the sea, you have the sky – write it on the water or in the air – it makes no difference – any surface will do. You seem to forget that you’re still trapped in book – trying to make your way out, back to her.

 

I am?

 

Yes. Now get writing, you man fool.

 

Stung by this rebuke, but equally excited by the urgency and energy of the primal creative impulse – Joe finds himself racing across the sea – writing faster than he could possibly imagine – words, hieroglyphs, pictures, swirls and lines reaching the horizon, up into the air, writing across the sky – how the gnomes were hatched as eggs from the soil, how they were written into countless tales, enjoyed by countless children, how they discovered themselves in the minds and imagination and dreams of these children who sensed and knew something magical, something achingly true in the tales they were reading – something that seemed to be missing in the world their parents and adults were raising them in – and still Joe wrote, all the way into the mountains of the Caucasus, all the way to Ushba the fish’s tail, all the way to Kazbek the mighty warrior mountain and then to Elbrus.

 

And how does it end, Mother – Jane enquired as they watched the sun going down – as Joe found himself running out of page, somewhere near Derbent, across the Caucasus on the Caspian Sea.

 

Oh, there’s plenty of time for that, tomorrow, Jane, tomorrow. But now let us pause from all this wordiness – the moon is coming up!

 

And lo, Jane beholds the moon rising over the sea and feels another side of the wheel turning, turning, taking her and her Mother Maid unbenamed into the deepening, darkening night of a still to be discovered womanhood – beyond word, beyond world, beyond man and even mind.

 

Into poetry?

 

You might say.

 

Romance?

 

Yes. I suppose.

 

Into…

 

Hush – take my hands and don’t let go.

 

Whoosh!

 

 

 



Space left for the picture that sums it all up, if Margo can manage that.