infinity drive — the international blockbuster for children only

 

Infinity drive

 

Obviously this is a book for children.

 

You wouldn’t waste your time trying to talk to adults about any of this stuff, would you?

 

I mean, do you really imagine they can handle anything like this? Anything that draws into question their precious beyond words belief, their conviction that there’s a splendid thing called reality – a wonderful world – which they can actually begin to, hope to, claim to at least partially understand – is not going to make it into print, or into their salons.

 

Present it, on the other hand, as a children’s story – now that’s a different matter altogether.

 

“It’s just a children’s tale” you tell the editor-in-chief, who nods his head wisely.

 

Actually, that should have been “her head” but with infinity drive being the way it is – between the moment of truth when it actually happened, and the moment when I set it down on this page – something happened –

 

—Something happened?

 

Absolutely, though you’d never have noticed as an adult, being the kind of intelligent mind on legs that you are.

 

—What do you mean by that? Are you mocking me?

 

No, no, no – never would dream of it.

 

—Then kindly explain yourself.

 

With pleasure. You see – this ‘ere infinity drive thing – for want of a better name – operates outside time.

 

—Are you sure about that? I don’t see how any thing can operate outside time.

 

It’s a story, remember, for children.

 

—Oh.

 

Who are able to accept the rules of a game – simply because doing so they’re able to have fun experiencing the reality of that particular construct.

 

—Ok. So, your so-called infinity drive acting outside time can change any one or any thing between the actual moment of happenation, and the next moment when it gets registered mentally or recorded digitally – whichever?

 

Yep. You nailed it.

 

—So the man became a woman, physically, in the interim?

 

Hard to say.

 

—But you just said that it should have been “her head” not “his”.

 

Yep. That’s what I said, isn’t it, though this attempt to clarify everything to the n^th degree is rather tiresome, don’t you think?

 

—Well, unless it makes sense – what’s the point? It just becomes meaningless non-sense.

 

Yes, but every word, every statement, even every number has a degree of precision, beyond which you cannot really go. 4 is not the same as 4.000000, is it?

 

—I suppose not, but aren’t you splitting hairs? If it should have been “her head” as opposed to “his” – then doesn’t that mean that he was, in fact, she?

 

Yes, that would be a perfectly logical inference were we locked in regular 3d reality. He might have been “she” for all we know, or reality might have blipped and suddenly a load of values are now different – also a possibility. Alternatively, it might be that infinity drive is just playing with your mind, deliberately trying to confuse you – because it can and it does.

 

—You mean to say you’re not responsible for what you write? That infinity drive has agency – can take over?

 

Well, and this is the last time I waste my time trying to explain things to an adult – who has no business inserting himself into a children’s story – well – as I was saying, before I got flustered and annoyed by all these endless interruptions! Well – third time lucky – now where was I?

 

—Infinity drive has agency – can take over your narrative?

 

Well, don’t you see? Ask any child. How can it be “infinity drive” if it isn’t able to do anything and everything.

 

—But that’s just going to result in utter chaos and mayhem.

 

It will do if you don’t take your seat, objectionable man – oops – make that woman – and allow me to proceed with my entirely random tale.

 

At that a whirring humming noise fills the minds of all the children who are reading this story, leaving the adults out in the cold, utterly unable to comprehend what is really going on, as infinity starts to tell its very own story – with me – DJ Brain as your host.

  

Monday 

There was a time when children ruled the world.

 

Yes there was.

 

Not because children particularly wanted to do so. They’d probably have preferred to go fishing, or do whatever children in that day and age preferred to do. But in the end they had to get on with it as the adults clearly didn’t have what it taked.

 

Ed. Shouldn’t that be “what it took”?

Yes – it should but no, apparently it needs to be wrong in order to be right – so we’ll leave it as it is.

Ed. Ok boss.

 

You see, even the editor of this journal calls me boss – not because I’m terribly clever or important – perish the thought – but because that’s what I have to be as an i-d operative.

 

Beep. Ok – as a child who operates infinity drive. Is that clear to all here present? Good.

 

You see – we had adults in control and they gave it their best shot – they tried to get everything neat and straight – dotting their I’s and crossing their T’s – but it always ended in disaster. It always ended in some kind of melt down, catastrophe or horrible global war. Bizarre, isn’t it? You’d think the opposite would be true – but no – having everything neat and tidy seemed to infuriate some powerful force – seemed to turn order into chaos again and again and again.

 

Beep. Time – you think human history is just a few hundred or thousand years old. That’s the way it’s presented to adults to keep them from getting too confused or excited – but in actual fact they were trying to get things right, and horribly messing things up for hundreds of thousands of years. I’m tempted, you know, to say millions so why not – it was like that for millions of years before a child whose name is generally thought to be Max, short for Maximillian – invented, in one version – discovered, in another – infinity drive, and the rest, as they say, is history.

0=1

three dots n'all