ashamed to admit

We pushed uncomfortably close to

the edge of decency,

you know,

purposely.

Not that I wanted to shock

or titillate you.

“Hypocritically prurient” is how

you’d probably describe me,

were you to see past the boundaries

of form and decency

into my soul,

into the amorphous bio-gel currently

holding my scraggly frequency.

On the contrary, it was done

to liberate the mindlocked me,

to strip away the crusted layers

of what i’m thought,

or i purport, to be

Laying bare the naked

Neither fish nor foul,

Neither here nor there

state of being,

state of affairs,

an every-me

    huh?

the every me

which cannot be defined

or known personally

meaningful, yes

but meaningful intrinsically

neither more nor less

without reference to

fucking polarity – for Chrissake

breathe man

nor to thumbprint, design

or muddling, Babel tainted

words:  hucksters, tricksters

confectioners of deceit,

every last one of them, sham

purveyors of objectivity,

neutral, they'd have you think,

what a joke!

neutral

until you peer underneath

check the code of

each and every effing word

see whom they actually

serve, and how they spike

the language you drink

electro-magnetically

nothing detectable by

sniffer dogs, cunning

to the core, you carry

their charge, imagining

it to be clean, contractually

above board

never dreaming the web

we weave of things said,

things thought or known

even said “objectively”

is neither yours to direct

nor to control, that you are

merely licensee, blithely

using their tool, never seeing

the catch

believing you are safe and free,

until your mind is no longer your own,

your soul, your essence, your all

is woven fatally, utterly into their

body, your new home,

enmeshed

your wordy 

me.

 

So breathe, once again, my confrere

or, if you prefer, go

hang yourself

for all i care.

Indeed, it is cruel

to be kind

in the breathless world

of wilfully we

the blind,

until we the wilfully

blind

finally agree

to confront our complicity

in this theatre of the absurd

where loaded and leading word

master puppeteers

string-pull painted

cardboard cut-out

mees

until the play

ends

the poem

incomplete

fades

 

 

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