Concerning Alfie Puddlestock's failure to compute

Know thyself, as they say – that’s probably not possible – the further you look the more you’ll uncover, but know thy mind – there you can make serious headway.

 

Ok – so you’re trying to know how your mind works… but how’s that going to help?

 

Because the mind can’t help itself – it simply has to proceed as programmed. “Knowing it” is a bit like deprogramming it.

 

Programming? You mean like a machine?

 

Yes, at least the part of the mind that’s in control of thought.

 

Programmed by whom?

 

Not important right now. Let’s focus on knowing what.

 

Er… and what exactly is that?

 

The programme.

 

Yeah, I got that bit. What’s the programme supposed to do?

 

To determine how things have arrived at where we are from where we were. To constantly update its version of how things fit together, you included, how everything’s connected in a causal sequence of one-thing-leading-to-another. It's all about data and using it to build an ever greater, ever more perfect model of our reality.

 

Well, that’s great isn’t it? Sounds like we’re constantly learning, rationally, how to make sense of things.

 

Absolutely.

 

Come to think of it, it sounds more or less like the scientific method – that we’re engaged in testing and proving reality, whether or not it’s more than just an ultra-realistic dream. Whether there’s substance to it. Whether things add up.

 

Great, yes, as long as…

 

What?

 

As long as there’s a control group – something to compare your reality with – a way of evaluating whether the rational mind is missing anything or interfering in any way.

 

? I don’t see how that’s possible if the mind is already looking at everything.

 

Everything? You’re joking right?

 

No, should I be?

 

The rational mind may be looking at everything it’s able to observe – every thing that seems to be real or meaningful, everything that passes muster as "something or other" whether abstract or physical – but it’s completely unable or unwilling to look beyond – at the dark side of things, at so-called dark matter.

 

Well, presumably that's because 3D reality actually encompasses everything, and dark matter doesn’t really exist outside the warped, fear-driven fantasy of psychological neuroses.

 

Yes, maybe you’re right, but you’ll never know for sure when relying on left-brain exclusively, as it only records things that penetrate its mesh, within the given frequency band at which it operates, that are able to affect its “universe inside my head” oscilloscope of sorts.

 

Er… not sure I follow.

 

It works on the assumption that nothing else is, no matter what. 

How do you mean?

Supposing you had some kind of quantum entanglement affecting you or your reality at a distance or even across time... that would require neural assistance from elsewhere to be sensed and processed, wouldn’t it? This array that brings reality right into the recumbent mind cannot, will not, does not like to turn things around – to observe the observer – to unseat or reseat the entrenched me in order to test fundamentals – making do instead with averages that cannot, will not get into the corners, the cracks, the gaps of non-standard, non-metric time segments, can’t even sense or see them if they exceed or inceed its mesh, its scope or its moving averages. Besides which, it can't average one off, unique occurrences. Things have to happen two or three times before they even register at all.

 

Er...

 

The left brain o’sphere ain’t interested in weird stuff like quantum entanglement, or even evaluating fundamentals, preferring to make do with its biotechnological mind-y’matter, unquestioningly, getting an essentially digitised, data-derived version of reality which it uses to construct a schematic, binarised version of things from the ground up, one block at a time, thereby demonstrating and proving…

 

What?

 

…that I am me, internally, or, externally “not-me” – the other side of what I be – two sides of one coin, the fundamental binary, which leads us to believe, to assume, to conclude, unquestioningly, that matter definitively matters… that matter essentially maketh the man, and nought else is, outside the metrics, the tap, tap, tap of time.

Er... not sure I follow your reasoning.

No? 

 

No… Surely our rational mind recognises life as something separate from inanimate matter? Something even more important.

 

You’d think so, wouldn’t you... That would definitely be rational wouldn’t it? to do so, but no.

 

No?

 

No, definitely not. There’s a kind of screen that receives all data-in flatly. Despite apprehending life as a special kind of matter, a particular flexible, mutable thing, the left brain, like the Minecraft program, has to operate within the strict confines of its processing system, which essentially has to slice and dice, converting living beings into persons, into a 2D conceptual equivalent, a kind of legal fiction, rather than feeling and experiencing the non-finite isness of any being directly…

 

Directly?

 

For that it would have to sync or to stereotize with right-side – it would have to do what seems completely insane – life-threatening perhaps – it would have to question itself – its own basic, fundamental programming.

 

Er… I’m feeling fear – panic signals… I'm...

 

Which would seem, would it not, totally irrational to any machine or slice-and-dice mind.

 

Why on Earth would I want to be irrational? Why not accept things the way they are?

 

Why indeed? You wouldn’t, would you, unless you sensed a credibility gap – failures to compute, or odd patches where the composite images don’t quite match up. Then, and only then would it be irrational to ignore the “something-missing”, “something-not-quite-right” signal. We’re not necessarily talking about being irrational however, are we? Perhaps a-rational – rediscovering a deeper, unsplit level, pre-bifurcation – striking a balance – allowing non-digitised, non-binarised reality equal rights in this relationship – allowing syncopated, non-metric rationality back into mind-y-mind, if left and right can meaningfully reconnect – fractals as well as squares – unless, that is, life and the universe really are just things... ug ug ug

 

Holy Guacamole. Just when you thought things make sense…

 

In other words, we need to ask whether we want our science to be scientific or not? Coz not – if it excludes fundamentals, not – if it sets essentially arbitrary data input limits… assigning “real” 1: “unreal” 0 values at the pre-mattered or so-called quantum level… not – if it comes with an agenda – to deliberately trigger reality on one side of me [me thinks I am] like a market manipulator instigating a market crash, rather than allowing it to flow or express naturally, organically… incomprehensibly.

 

Sounds like the ultimate conspiracy theory.

 

Ultimately you’ll never figure it out – because dog chasing tail – the minute you’ve figured out one end of the logic chain, the other end has whipped out of your grasp. And that’s not bad luck. That’s not because we’re slow or incompetent. That’s because the brain was never designed to figure everything out – merely the what, when, why, how or where under the myopic spotlight of focused enquiry. You’ll never figure out, ultimately, what is what because you’re not what you think you are – you’re not – are you? – whatever your mind is trying to make you think you are – or half your mind at least – the so-called left-hemisphere, are you? ultimately – so let it think all it likes – it’s simply unable to process, unable to digest or even sense the infinite – the infinite – which can only be sensed directly by the soul, or the consciousness – which exist in awareness outside time itself, outside space, outside matter or the metrics ack ack acking things – gaming the algorithms of time to make things appear essentially timeless, to make 'em matter Big Time.

 

Geez...

 

And guess what?

 

What?

 

There’s nothing wrong with matter per se.

 

?

 

It’s neither better nor worse than soul, or consciousness.

 

?

 

Matter is ultimately no more, no less real than what you yourself physically appear to be… what you think you are… what you thing

 

What?

 

Well, there’s no point continuing, is there – iterating things – because 0=1

 

?

 

It is – I am – immediately we arrive back at where we left off.

 

That is?

 

Infinity – which is the smoking gun.

 

Smoking gun?

 

By its complete omission.

 

Whadya mean “omission”?

 

You see, the rational mind, employing logic or whatever analytical tools of awareness and comprehension are in its arsenal – cannot, simply cannot, allow infinity to be in play.

 

Whyever not?

 

Because it nullifies x and y.

 

X and y?

 

The time ’n space frame everything slots into.

 

How so?

 

Because time and space are only meaningful concepts or boundaries as long as infinity is  conveniently excluded.

 

Excluded? How could you possibly exclude infinity?

 

…or vacuum wrapped, so to speak, eliminated from the proceedings.

 

But why?

 

Because infinity is neither big nor small…

 

And what?

 

It’s uncertainty, isn’t it, which prevents you from being able to rely on any seemingly, perfectly logical assumption, even assumptions based on empirical data and scientific measurements. 

 

You mean to say we have to completely toss out the whole of science...? everything we think we know?

 

Nope. You’re welcome to continue with it as long as you write a disclaimer to everything you’re saying.

 

Which is?

 

That neither time nor the space you’re reliant upon are in any way defendable, given the fact that they are based upon averages which may seem to give us certain repeatable, reliable values, but only to the extent that infinity does not exist, or is not present within and throughout the system we’re claiming to understand n'attempting to explain; only to the extent we lock ourselves into this magic square called thing… or things-what-i-think… twit for short.

 

So our material reality is a system, you’re saying – that only gives the impression of being reliable, dependably what it is – something measurable, something determinable, something at all?

 

Correct. It’s a system designed to allow us to experience things as if they’re really things, as if things really matter, as if, ultimately, matter itself matters – all of which is fascinating and intellectually deeply stimulating – but at the end of the day, if we’re going to be absolutely honest with ourselves – a kind of mind theatre – like running a simulation, a model in which we are host, player, observer, in which we ignore the “record” button, the discretely flashing symbols on or around the screen of our mind’s inner-eye – in order to make the simulation – the programme as effective, as life-like as possible – which to a large extent we’ve succeeded in doing – except when we get round to noticing the studio equipment, the camera operators, the support crew dressed in black whom we feign not to recognise – the same way actors in a play ignore whoever’s delivering his or her aside to the audience. Thus the world wags... ackly, uggly, metrically.

 

Look, there’s nothing original in what you’re saying. People have been saying this forever – that it’s a simulation. So what? It’s still real. We’re still going to die. There’s still no real way out of it – even if it is a simulation, is there?

 

Ah… never underestimate infinity, Alfie.

 

You yourself said it’s “uncertainty” – so it can hardly overplay its hand – can it? It can’t really undermine the system you say we’re in – without becoming something or other, some-what certain – without coming down on one side of the fence… crashing  down to earth.

 

True.

 

So, there’s really nothing to discuss then, is there?

 

Correct. Infinity is not something to discuss. It’s something to explore or engage, bi-spherically.

 

But why? Why can’t you just enjoy being in this world – fiddling around with things – larking around with matter? You don’t have to be a technician – after all. You can go onto the other side of matter creatively – the non-matter of emotions, into poetry, music, art for example – there’s something for everyone.

 

Yes, but I’m a scientist. Natural philosopher. 

 

Give me a break! You?

 

Absolutely.

 

You can’t do maths – not for the life of you – nor physics, nor chemistry, nor biology – you’re about as scientific as my ingrowing toenail.

 

Ha bloody ha.

 

Get a life Merry. You’re deluding yourself, and all the poor buggers who actually follow you and lap up this pseudo-science of yours. How can you possibly call yourself a scientist?

 

I’m probably the only person alive today doing real science – with a few little-known exceptions.

 

Jesus wept. Completely and utterly delusional.

 

Because all of your so-called “science” is exclusively rational: half a mind defiantly insisting it's whole – and cannot, does not connect to the field itself.

 

What field?

 

The field that generates so-called reality – and matter – and all things great and small.

 

And you? You think that you can, or do, connect to this invisible field?

 

If I didn’t I’d be dead long ago.

 

What do you mean?

 

Because I had to expand outside the permitted boundaries – for personal reasons, which I’d rather not go into right now.

 

Fair enough.

 

And outside those boundaries – either you reconnect field itself zzz – or you simply cannot survive. 

 

But why?

 

Because you’re now surrounded by, and part of, infinity – and infinity does not suffer fools lightly.

 

It’s a jungle out there, is it?

 

You might say – or alternatively, you might say it’s the real McCoy – the real thing where you can really test your hypotheses without expecting the system to come to your rescue and or bail you out.

 

Bail me out? Come to my rescue? Why on Earth do you imagine I’d…

 

Not you personally, but anyone who still operates from within the boundaries.

 

Ok – so let’s assume for a moment you’re telling the truth – and that you’re actually operating from outside the system – outside 3D reality. What then?

 

Well, immediately you know that things were not created stably "long ago" – that creation is the underlying process, the underlying pulse or breath that keeps things appearing solid and stable at any given moment in time, whereas in fact zzz – oh, and that scale dun’t matter.

 

Huh?

 

It matters not whether we’re talking about the entire universe, a single apple or one atom or cell.

 

Er… that’s an outlandish claim if ever I heard one.

 

Well, to the extent that matter is empirically a meaningful concept – it does matter – because things happen at a given scale or level, but the same mind pulse that causes an atom to shift can and does cause a galaxy to do likewise – albeit elsewhere on a logarithmic scale, in another tier of mind. 

Ok – so mind operates throughout – and mind, you’re saying – is never daunted by matter of any size, shape or form?

 

Not as long as mind is operating from 0=1, its undivided a-sanity. A galactic mind and the mind regulating a single atom are really no different whatsoever – once x and y incorporate zed, the great unknown to the rational mind.

 

Zed?

 

Yep.

 

The great unknown?

 

Correct.

 

Scientific term – is that?

 

Not really. Just a description  zzz

 

So where’s the science in all this?

 

Well, once I’m aware of zed, and no longer insist that x and y are the be all and end all… once I’m willing to unlock zed and shift along its – well – we’ll call it “axis” for the time being…

 

Then what?

 

Then this… Merry starts zed shifting and all hell appears to break loose in a way that utterly discombobulates Zie in ways hitherto unimaginable unza unza   affirny aff-cha

 

Whatever you’re doing Merry – I’d like you to stop it now. That’s never science, that ain’t.

 

No? What about this?

 

Zie observes the sun racing across the sky – apparently moving backwards. Now he’s looking right through his hand… and the matter-of-matter that made his body appear to matter meaningfully – is now no more significant than a pina colada floating in zero gravity contemplating space-time's failure to curve     bong-che bong-che        affana teva-zu

An influx of awareness suddenly dwarfs everything it thought it knew about life, the universe, or reality. This is not something supposed or assumed… No siree, this is direct knowledge, direct awareness, something that utterly confounds the rational mind – as suddenly neither the universe, nor all those little things which help convince us that things matter physically, have a quantum leg to stand on. All them things are now a quaint anachronism, a memory of a bygone era, when people used to identify with anything that saved ‘em from having to deal with... yikes!     tassi badi-car   hoofa jinaka 

Infinity – totally out of control. An overwhelming, overpowering, soul uprooting sense of vertigo – where nothing is in any way certain any more – not the ground beneath our feet, not the moment holding time steady – not anything whatsoever – as zed shifts beyond what mind and senses are willing, or able, to perceive or comprehend – as Alfie feels the very viability of mind and matter entering a critical phase of disputedness – of indeterminacy – or as they say in the Russian language – условность…

 

Условность – ты сказал? Proceeds Zie in perfect Russian, perfectly unaware that he has zed-shifted into another version of reality – in which Russian is and always was his native language – which in fact, indeed, it always was, here – at this particular spot on the zed where-the-ducks-fly-backwards interface. Speaking Russian thou's now perfectly able to understand what a moment before made no sense whatsoever – not because thou's suddenly more intelligent – but because “uslovnost” is right bang in the centre of what the Russian language-mind-y’me is able to feel, sense and comprehend, intuitively.

 

Oh wow!

 

Yes. Pretty nifty hey – as long as you don’t completely lose track of things, and fail to re-ground, n' return to your original zeroed zed y'home base.

 

Not sure I even want to… part of me yearns deeply, deeply for that – what was it?

 

Условность.

 

I mean, in English.

 

Uslovnost.

 

Darned if I can remember what it means… but still, it definitely feels right – like I know exactly what it zzz

 

Hold that feeling – let’s help the bridge to strengthen – to build up the left-right connection.

 

Oh crikey… it feels so out-of-body.

 

Absolutely.

 

Magic mushroomy.

 

Oh – never knew you did that kind of thing.

 

I don’t – but suddenly I know how it works – in fact…

 

For the next seven hours Zie’s out of communication, and body, as he races back and forth – through all kinds of possible left right connections – as the two sides explore and shore up the zed shift that a single Russian word – uslovnost – has introduced into his field – his me-knows-not-what – so to speak…

 

Until the universe, reality, and you, impatient, uncouth reader decide to give him an astral nudge and slot the fish back into its squarish x y fix, and I, the entirely hypothetical narrator of this sorry tale, decide to call it a day... y'timely, despite Alfie's failure to compute any thing whatsoever, ackly ug notwithstanding.

 

 

0=1, so to speak