hell's bells

Merry, what the heck are you doing?

Ssh, don’t disturb me please.

But – what’s happened to your computer?

You’re not supposed to be here.

I er…

Been meditating again, haven’t you.

Well yes, kind of.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Wait a minute – since when were you my boss?

Er… good point Zie.

Well?

Well what?

Since when?

You made a good point Zie – no need to overplay it. Didacticism isn’t your forte.

Di-what?

Never mind. Well, since you’re here you may as well take a peek.

I’m not sure I can make head or tail of it. It’s…

You’re definitely not going to make head or tail of it Zie so cease and desist all attempts thereat.

Er… ‘k.

As you snuck in today through the back door, you have to use back door methodology to see this contraption.

Er…

In other words – continue exactly what you were doing.

Well, that’s a bit tricky as I was meditating, wasn’t I?

Here – look at this screen.

Hey – that’s me.

The penny droppeth.

I’m meditating.

Bingo.

You mean – that’s me right now?

Slowly, easy does it – don’t want to interrupt your session do you?

[Merry and Zie observe the figure on screen in a Japanese kimono, apparently Zie, twitching]

Look away – you’re distracting yourself. That’s it – now take a few nice, slow breaths. Perfect. You’re back in the zone.

So – I’m in two places at once? I can’t get my head around this…

You’re not supposed to, are you –

Huh?

get your head around this.

No?

Not if you’re meditating – without my permission I might add.

I thought we’d cleared that one up, already.

Oh, yes, sorry. Can’t quite eradicate the tyrannical dictatorial streak in my persona – then again, everyone’s got to have their little shortcomings.

So, I’m meditating and snuck in here through the backdoor.

Yep.

And for some reason your computer – I take it that’s what I’m not exactly seeing

Nice terminology – not exactly seeing – yep.

Your computer no longer seems to be in a box, so to speak.

Nope.

Nope?

I mean – correct! You’re right.

Oh. So what did you do to it?

What did you do to it? [parroting Zie’s intonation perfectly]

Hey!

You’re trying to make head or tails of this, aren’t you? I thought we’d agreed that you have to stick to the back door, thief in the night methodology.

Huh?

The way you broke in uninvited. Good job – by the way – very professional.

Oh – thanks – but, er, what did I do?

What did I do? [parroting Zie again – no – literally parroting him]

Merry – you’re a… [Zie was about to say parrot but the parrot flies over and pecks his nose] Ow! Leave off!

Ow! Leave off! [Something in the parrot’s speech causes Zie to lose his balance. He falls sideways]

That will do. Now look.

Ow, my head… my eyes.

Look – open your eyes!

[Zie opens them immediately, without thinking]

Oh, back to normal. What was that all about?

What was what?

Some kind of hallucination. You turned into a humungous green parrot. Your computer was all over the place – seemed to be moving in and out of everything – even connecting to some kind of circuitry in me… gross!

Not bad Zie – you seem to have caught most of it. Have a look at the screen now – what do you see?

There’s two of them.

Ok – take your pick.

This is me meditating in my rather stylish Japanese kimono.

Tastes differ.

And – this is what’s doing my head in. Still can’t make head or tails of it. How can I be standing at such a ridiculous angle – has the image frozen or…

Time perhaps?

Time? You mean I’m still falling sideways.

Still – as in “still alive” – yes, why not?

It’s just – I can’t get my head around it.

[canned laughter and clapping – like in a sitcom]

That, Zie, is one screen you’re guaranteed, I promise you, never to get your head around – try as you might.

Huh?

Which is why you were only able to access it through the backdoor – while meditating. Suddenly, your head stopped being the governing factor, the CEO, the chief adjudicator – suddenly you were able to flow whither spirit led you.

Through the looking glass?

Yes, pretty much that describes it, doesn’t it?

But – the computer…

It’s futile – I keep trying to tell you. Here, let me give you a hand. [Merry unexpectedly whacks Zie across the temples]

Ow!!! What the hell was that for?

Here – screen three.

What do you mean “screen three”? There are only two.

Oh dear. One more time. [Merry delivers an almighty blow across the temples causing Zie to see pink and green stars]

Screen three!

Oh right – gotcha. [Zie gazes at a third screen which he’d hitherto failed to notice] To his astonishment he sees Merry knocking at a kind of door appendaged to the side of his head – or visual cortex to be more precise. The first time – no one answers – sleeping perhaps or maybe just not in the mood. The second louder blow – the door opens and…]

Hello, Merry – so glad you could come.

How’s your head?

Oh, that was nothing – you didn’t actually touch my head, did you?

Not from where we’re standing now. It all depends on where you view things from, doesn’t it?

Precisely. Won’t you come in?

I thought you’d never ask.

[Zie and Merry proceed through the rather attractive wooden door into what appears to be the inside of a tree.]

They’re dying to know about the computer, Merry.

Yes. They won’t give up, will they.

What can you do for them?

You know perfectly well Zie.

But it’s so frustrating – they’re sitting there watching everything – imagining it’s all happening in another reality – in a story, on paper, or a screen…

Until their world suddenly implodes and the forces of darkness are baying at their door.

Oh – is that what you’ve got planned?

It’s one of the versions, isn’t it.

I’m not sure it’s my favourite.

You’re not taking sides are you?

Yes, I suppose I am.

So, we’re going to have some fun then.

How do you mean?

I’m only really allowed to do what you guys are doing. To follow your lead.

Really?

Yep. I’m not supposed to write my own story.

No?

Absolutely. It would be meaningless. It wouldn’t connect up.

So what then?

Well, if we’re taking sides today – then let’s pull out all the stops.

Er…

Let’s take sides like there’s no tomorrow.

Maybe we ought to tone this down – don’t want to interrupt my meditation, do we?

You’ve gotta be kidding – we’re in the central column – the axis mundi – great tree. Nothing whatsoever can disturb your meditation now.

Er… ok. If you say so.

So, we have wolves baying at the doors. They, the people in our drama – the people reading this, and the equally wonderful people not-reading this – receiving it “not” – knowing it without knowing how…

Wait a minute – you mean to say the computer I was trying to figure out…

Ssh, yes, the computer, the tale, the story… don’t interrupt.

Dictatorial megalomaniac.

Ah yes! You put me to shame. But supposing for a moment it’s true.

Supposing what’s true?

That we’re all in it together.

In your computer?

Computer, story – these are just metaphors, images to describe the indescribable.

Then what?

All in it together – I lost my thread…

Then what does it mean? Presumably we can write whatever code we wish – as long as it doesn’t break the flow – as long as it doesn’t time out…

Precisely. You see – if we’re writing… [click – whirr – like an old mechanical juke box changing the record]

Funny, Merry – for a moment I could have sworn you whacked me on the side of my head.

Bizarre! Why on earth would I want to do that?

Oh, you often do things that make no sense, but in this instance I feel nothing – in fact my head is remarkably clear.

I’m glad to hear it. We have important work to do today, so a clear head will come in handy.

Huh? What work’s that?

Hell.

I beg your pardon?

We’re working on hell.

??!!

Squawk!

[For a second it looks lie Zie’s going to crash on his side as the parrot flies over and grabs his nose – but Zie realises this is in fact a kind of screen – that he has a kind of mouse at his fingertips – that he can invert the image – that in fact the parrot is a kind of avatar which is helping to connect him into the command module. His image flickers on screen – the observant among you will see Zie shifting through a dozen different forms – including an extinct Patagonian tree lizard – but none of those forms are significantly more than archetypes or underlying aspects of the real Zie – so not to be dwelt on, not to be mentalised too heavily.]

Right Zie – you’ve made it – strapped in the pilot’s chair on the Millennium Falcon – you’re ready to take us to hell and back.

But I don’t want to go to hell.

Nope, but what choice have we got. Look at their screen Zie. What do you see?

Holy sh**. Darkness, fear, oppression. It’s dire.

Absolutely. Wonderfully dire. Their world, your world is imploding. Evil walketh in broad daylight – threatening the innocent lambs with dystopian nightmares – poisoned chalices – forced vaccinations, bio-computerisation – endless schemes to entrap and ensnare them in a web of no escaping. In short, a scriptwriter’s paradise.

Jesus wept – how could things have got so bad.

Screen seven, over to your right.

[Zie looks across at it – sees the shadow – the id – the darkness within – fear – a little fear – eyes averted – avoiding something unpleasant – step by step the shadow grows into a deeper, darker, darkness until it fills the screen and demons, night wraiths are able to freely connect and rule the terrorised masses.]

Yikes. So, what’s the plan?

You’re going to take me in.

Where? Into that hellhole?

Absolutely. You can come too if you like.

But they’ll rip you to pieces.

Yes, that’s the intention.

But… aren’t you afraid?

Positively terrified, but…

What?

We have g-nome portal, don’t we.

And?

And nothing. They can only act on my fear. Mathematically they actually have no power.

I hate to say it, Merry, but those creatures look capable of anything.

True, but while you were messing around I wrote a little line or two of code.

You did? I didn’t see that.

Nope – I was pretty agile.

So what was it?

Screen 27, the hieroglyphs.

27? Are you sure?

Am I ever?

Ok. [Zie peers around looking for screen 27 – and somehow it flashes up in front of his regular vision – let’s call it the tree vision as it comes directly from there] Oh my God!

Like it?

Like it? I love it! It’s incredible.

Pretty nifty, though I say so myself.

Absolutely astonishing. One line of code – and it changes everything.

Fun, isn’t it!

And g-nome portal has the power to do this?

What is g-nomeportal?

Er… not too sure.

Just the central exchange – where narrative matters – where words count, and letters are geometric keys.

So… er

The zero beyond every one

What was that?

The zero behind every one

So, how does this code actually work?

Well, little did they suspect but their reality was only really half of one

Are you sure?

Absolutely. Look – screen 40.

[this screen is somewhere down in the tree’s roots]

Oh my God – you’re right.

Well, we were all willing to go along with that for convenience’s sake – like paper money or credit cards – until, that is, we suddenly realised we were terribly impoverished and someone had stolen all our wealth and resources. They’d been playing us for naïve dupes.

Ok. So, what does your code change?

You can see, can’t you?

Absolutely – it’s full of colour, it’s full of life and energy. It’s an incredible picture of prosperity and joy.

Well, that was the easiest thing in the world to arrange.

But how?

I simply restored hell.

You what?!!!

I put back hell.

Hell? You’ve gotta be kidding. That’s the last thing we need to put things right.

Amazing isn’t it – the last thing you think you need is often enough exactly what’s required.

So, you unleashed the demons of hell on unsuspecting humanity with one trivial line of code?

Nope.

What then?

Look – without hell the “dark side” are able to get away with murder – literally – because there’s no way they can be held to account for their misdeeds – in fact, without hell, their misdeeds are not, in fact, misdeeds.

Whyever not?

Because the numbers don’t add up, do they – you get an endless progression – a kind of Mandelbrot set of fractions halving, then halving again ad infinitum. The only way that can be stopped and rebalanced is with a bunch of defenders of bionet, your perpetrators of evil, spilling human blood down there in 3D to ensure that things do not spin out of control – using passions and pain to prevent a kind of hyper-inflation of reality.

So, they’ve been killing people out of the goodness of their hearts? Somehow I find that hard to believe.

Well, they don’t really believe this reality is real, do they, because their half has been excluded, so not surprisingly they’re kind of bitter and ready to slaughter, rape and pillage. You would too if you’d been denied your birth right, wouldn’t you?

I don’t know – I like to think I put humanity before my own selfish needs.

Humanity? It was your half who helped exclude theirs, like men denying women the right to vote – so you’re just as much cause of this carnage.

Oh… well still, it’s no excuse for senseless murder, is it?

Except that without the blood they spilled the reality you’re so attached to would have imploded long ago.

You mean our torment, pain and suffering has helped to prolong our torment, pain and suffering? How ironic.

I mean your torment, pain and suffering were half real, half true – that when hell is factored back into the equation and ½ is once again full-bodied One – you’re going to see things differently – as you have already on screen 27.

Ok. So, I’m supposed to believe hell isn’t evil?

You’re supposed to believe nothing of the sort. Anything is evil if permitted in exclusion to the one and all. Day without night. Right without left. Religion without love.

It’s just I’ve got some deeply unpleasant feelings where hell is concerned.

The word – do you know what it actually means?

Yes – it’s like the underworld, isn’t it? A place of endless punishment.

Is it? It means “bright” in German. I wonder why?

You mean to say…

I mean nothing whatsoever – in the end this is a purely mathematical situation. Without hell the “evil perpetrators” of dystopian Armageddon are free to proceed – in fact, they’re literally unable to stop. With their half restored they suddenly discover that they’re completely unable to account for the madness of their actions – because they’re actually destroying themselves and their own reality no less than you and yours.

So they’ll stop?

Even if they won’t – they get what’s coming to them.

Like instant karma?

Absolutely. The loop completes – they get the one thing they’ve been lacking all this time…

?

Feedback. Compassion. Empathy.

So now you want to go in and test the code?

Not so much test it – the code’s simple enough.

Then what?

I wouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s the moment in history we’ve been waiting for.

It is?

When the half-hearted reality we’ve been taking for the real McCoy is suddenly restored to its natural state – it is:i am – the living, conscious bionet. It just needs one person to carry this RNA update into ground zero – into your charming reality.

Maybe I could be the one.

Fancy yourself do you – a glutton for punishment?

No, but it’s my reality more than yours, isn’t it?

It could be dangerous – you’ll be on your own.

Yes, but that code’s going to work a treat, isn’t it?

It will, as long as you keep transmitting and receiving nothing less than One – as long as you don’t lose heart.

Sounds easy enough.

Child’s play! The child within has never ever done things by half measure. That’s why they’ve been so frustrated with those parents of theirs who only ever studied the math of things – who’ve only succeeded in compounding the confusion.

Child’s play – then that’s it – I’m in.

Good luck Zie, here – take this with you – it’ll help you stay tuned to your mission. It’s gonna get mighty confusing with all the noise and fear that’s being projected every which way.

A bell? You’re kidding, right?

That’s no ordinary bell Zie.

No?

It’s a hell’s bell.

Hell’s bell?

One for each half. Ring it whenever things are getting tough. Whenever you’re getting confused. You’ll flip the fractal back to One, no matter what. It'll ring on both sides – clarity as hell is bright.

[and without further ado Zie finds himself back in the lotus position clutching a little invisible bell which makes no sound whatsoever – which in fact rings on t'other side and brings the hounds of hell to heel, obediently, with tails wagging, happily]

All around the world in the meanest, darkest corridors of power – what did you say? what’s going on? what’s that?

Hell's bells – the emperor is wearing no clothes – it was only ever fractional – a projection beyond is into what if  until…

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Guys – tinkle tinkle – be not afraid – it’s not the end of the world – just the other half, the not-so-prodigal son, the forgotten twin – is back. You can fight it all you like – or you can accept this crazy little thing called Hell – that shocking mathematical impossibility sometimes known as paradox, finally revealed, finally exposed, irrefutably

It takes a while – at first Zie is seen as a bringer of pain and destruction – but pretty soon people get used to this instant karma lark – and learn to love a world where everything starts making sense – where it’s not, in fact, beyond their abilities to live in harmony with one another, now that the numbers add up – now that zero finally equals one – and Mandelbrot’s beetle turns out to be… tinkle tinkle…

To be continue.

d

if 0=1