Zero summing it up

So let me conclude
when all is said and done
the game is a zero sum
no matter what you think
they or theirs amount to
you fail to observe the nature
of things, the not insignificant
matter of matter
you fail to factor in
the zero sum, assuming as you do
that your mind can perceive objectively
that doing so, it reveals the way that people
and things affect or impinge on you
somehow... somehow...
             somehow
failing to observe the other side of things
the nullifying waves
or toroidal fields
or call 'em what you will
the matter-unravelling-nought
lurking behind or within every
one
the force or field of conscious-ness
merging-flowing-undoing into the
unbeknowable unbeknown
the dark unatomised side
the unconscionable mind of
neither nor
and there
though you be appalled
though you recoil in terror
there be i
there    i be
the question mark
the uncapitalised me
the if   just waiting
to take flight
and utterly redefine   reality
thereby
therein revealing paradigmatically
real nought    real nought-ity
real not-i   real unity
the tale awaiting its turn
to re-connect
re-veal
re-tell
the simple truth
the sense and meaning waiting
in the wings of conscious-ness
by which, inconceivably, all
no matter what, no matter how
by which all, inconceivably
makes perfect, utterly perfect sense
the minute i steps down
from the high plinth of mindedness
and reverts to a natural state
in which the zero sum is
no longer denied, resisted
fought
is restored as a fallen God
to the panoply of Gods
is released back into the wild
is allowed to be unsummed
unassumed
the circuit thus complete
i resign mind to the bonfires of Phlegethon
and accept the zero equals one
i've always yearned to
be, to know, to consummate
unstigmatically

life hack - ethering

Ok guys - time is short so maximum attention please.

Dude - you're asking too much. Mood - we have to build mood before we can make a move.

Dude - I feel you totally - here - let me demonstrate instead.

Demonstrate - like what?

Don't even try to guess - just let me...

Where the h... did he go?

I'm here - etherly.

Huh? What the h...'s that meant to mean?

No matter, no matter. Do you feel me yet?

...uh

I'm ethering you.

You are? I'm not sure I... hey... that feels ni.. What the h... How are you doing that?

Doing what?

Whatever you're doing. It's like I'm taking a warm bath - kind of internal massage. And where the h... are you - I can only hear your voice.

Actually, you can't even hear that - you're imagining it's my voice.

I think I know when I'm hearing someone talking to me.

Absolutely. Of course you do - but that ain't my voice as I'm not actually using the body right now.

Come on man, pull the other one.

Do you actually see me anywhere?

No, but that's just a kind of trick, isn't it? I couldn't hear you if you weren't actually here - hiding somewhere - or you've hypnotised me so I can't see you even though you're right next to me.

What if in all honesty I'm not actually in-body right now?

That would be impossible, wouldn't it. You'd be dead.

Would be, unless I'd figured out how to ether.

And?

Well the proof is empirical, innit.

Yeah - but I'm not sure I can trust my senses - they're so easily deceived.

Well, why not experiment yourself.

Er... Ok. How?

Well the ether isn't the air you breathe - in fact - there really isn't any air or breath when we start ethering.

Then what? There's got to be something, hasn't there?

Yep. Something there is - as Yoda might say - but not air or breath.

Then wh..

Ethering unmatters things - so - for example, ethering you I become invisible to you - you become invisible to me.

I do?

Yeah - more or less.

Then how can we hear each other?

Hearing was never really a product of speech.

You could have fooled me.

Yeah - we tend to fool ourselves - but in all seriousness, hearing's always been telepathy masquerading as speech recognition.

It has?

Yep, and breath has always really been, similarly, ether-concealment.

It has?

Yep. We were never really breathing - you know. That was our little kind of matrix joke. Of course - we had to be breathing if the world is real and things are things, but in actual fact...

Wait...

In actual fact we never really left home base. We've done an amazing job creating the ultimate thing experience - thinging ourselves like there's no tomorrow, practically thinging one another to death.

Er...

So ethering - let's cut to the chase.

Er...

I switch to ether breath. There is no air as such. There is no you. There is no me. There is a breath experience which flows back and forth between us - and i don't even bother trying to resolve what is what - I don't take sides - who am I to second guess infinity? I merely go with the flow - allowing the field to adjust accordingly.

And?

And Bob's your uncle. What a moment ago was inadmissible or impossible is now a simple, undeniable fact.

But - surely it can't be that easy?

Oh - it's easy as hell, once you know how.

As hell? I'm not sure I like your allusion.

Well, we were having one helluva time in 3D, weren't we? partly because we were breathing things discombobulately - as if we were separate from everything else - as if we were powerless to deal with things directly - as breath, energy or conscious-ness.

Er...

Which kinda sucks, if you ask me.

And you can - er - deal with stuff directly?

Breath can - evidently. Your shoulder - is it better now?

My shoulder - how did you...

I could feel it.

Now that you mention it - yes - it is! How - did you do that?

Not exactly. There was an uneasiness between us which the ether breath dealt with - it involved me letting go of or processing some ego sh.. Once that was done - the energetic obstruction behind your achy shoulder no longer exists.

Oh. But... doesn't that make you my benefactor?

In a minor way - but everyone gets to do little house clearing acts for one another - just to get the ball rolling - In fact I wasn't really doing you a favour - I was putting my own house in order - which as collateral benefit just happened to fix your shoulder.

So I just have to breathe differently? Not sure I can figure that one out.

Oh - it's a piece of cake. 0=1 it.

Huh?

Zero equals one it. Breathe whatever comes to mind - whatever's bothering you and quit holding onto the idea that you're separate from me or it or them or anything. Know that every breath already contains the solution - already touches whoever, whatever needs to be touched - and the less you push and shove, the less you allow anger or fear to over-compensate or get in the way, the easier it becomes to feel how everything is essentially, already taken care of.

Oh.

You're gonna feel another dimension opening up - as if you're able to be in different places at once - as if energetically your breath is a healing force that can and does change the world - immediately.

Immediately?

Absolutely.

Oh...

So what are you waiting for? The ether is your second skin - your natural element - you be an electro-magnetic field of conscious-ness - with amnesia. Now, you're beginning to remember what you're really capable of. So quit stalling. What are you waiting for?

string theory

I take my flute from the cupboard top
where it lies collecting dust
and behold its darkening silvery-ness
not a moment too soon start playing  I
with time and space with the confidence
of a fossilized trilobite, reestablishing my place
at the very epicenter of creation's equally
exploding/imploding big-bang-ishness
feeling the tangled strings of the great

all-that-is working loose and slipping back into place

slurping me into a pocket of non-referenced
unreferenceable inner-workings, the digestive tract
of a beast that knows no bounds, bringing together
sounds of all shapes, sizes and frequency bands
insects, birds, planets, stars, pneumatic drills,
trees, surf, and me, yammering away tunelessly on my
metal-fingered insert into infinity -- anatomically
doing what bombs and bonds could not,
coaxing the myriad strings back into a confluence of heart
and tummy rot, singing the spheres back into a super-elongated spaghetti dot
minding not what the shape of things to come might be
strictly adhering to a policy of data neutrality
i observe a cream cheese replacing ham and chips
as plat du jour
and twang, a split-end
yields to the gastronomic weight
the precessional wobble of a spinning plate
Aristotle graciously agrees to hear suit
and promptly snuffs out the slow-burning flute
then shuffles off into a twilight of time-lapsed
serendipity

thus saith me
09.12.2018.
Davidson James Merry

the third mind

from time to time i go back to programming

                he goes back to programming

how do i know when the time is right

                how indeed

the programmer knows and acts accordingly

                but how, how, how

the programmer knows for the programmer knows

                can’t understand

for to know is to know – without the how

                can’t understand

you can’t understand yet that in itself is a form of understanding, is it not

                can’t understand

though your mind rebels – wanting greater certainty, wanting finite knowledge

                can’t understand

at the moment your mind is not responding – locked in data denial, but that will pass

                can’t understand

whereas knowing is an act of conscious awareness bubbling through

                can’t understand

bubbling up, surfacing in a flash of complete awareness that this

                can’t understand

that this is not what i think or believe or understand

                can’t understand

this is an experience of knowing what is what

                can’t understand

of re-entering the quantum stream of is

                the what

the quantum stream of is – no matter what that be

                the what

of rediscovering the central part i play where life, matter and thought converge

                where what

where i is more than what

                where what

where i is infinite in faculty

                is what

is more than words can possibly describe

                is no – that cannot be

is ess, the timeless

                huh?

ess, the placeless

                wh?

ess, the thoughtless

                uh?

ess, the thingless seat of what if

                huh?

what if – all this were real

                what if?

what if all this were true

                huh?

what if all this were in fact material and thus not just a time-locked dream

                please

what if conscious-ness were able to reveal the simple truth

                the – no

without crashing, without colliding two minds together

                two minds?

the mind of matter which sees only things

                the what

and the mind of what – processing data, looking for confirmation

                for what

confirmation that things are not meaningless

                not uh

looking for trends, patterns, making sense of things as if

                as if what?

as if my life depended upon it

                as if what?

as if i’m hanging from a delicate thread of reason

                a thread

which may easily be snapped

                ow

two minds battling it out

                ow

while the soul yearns for beauty – ineffable, sublime

                but what about poetry

tis no mind – tis no matter

                then what

tis knowledge – direct from source – direct from nought

                from nought

from the oh so female darkest void from whence springeth all thing, all

                from her?

from her or him – tis much of a much – from the unknowable her

                from her

if it pleaseth you so to think – the she cannot be analysed or understood

                cannot?

can only be known

                known

for to know is to allow every atom in your universe to reposition – to

                what

to zero out – to die in knowledge of her nought – and miraculously to re-emerge

                rebirth?

birth – knowledge is a form of birth

                of birth?

no other way – so embrace death necrophilically

                no

loving the return to innocence – the return to knowing nought but her

                no

discovering the truth contained within her ness

                her what

her ness – the ess of nought her dot dot dot – cannot be said

                cannot be said

cannot be said – cannot even be thought
[...mental gap]
can paradoxically only be known
no
known indiscriminately – incomputably 

                so programming – to what end?

to no end – when I sense her presence i places words as markers

                markers

words in gaps, in the spaces eyes cannot see, mind cannot comprehend

                and?

and people read these words – assuming the words have meaning or sense

                assuming purpose

little suspecting that they conceal or clothe her nakedness

                oh

little suspecting that these words connect with every body, every mind, every

                every what

every thing no matter what – and transmit signal

                a what

transmit frequency that none comprehend – yet all feel unknowingly

                unknowingly

all are aware immediately of what is not, of her

                of her? 

and she changeth us

    she does?          

she changeth us intrinsically – for we are nought without her ness

                her ness

we shift imperceptibly and are utterly utterly transformed
…

a terrible beauty is born
...

0=1

Baikal.is /episode 3

previous episode

110

Merry wakes up in Moscow – still the middle of the night. Sveta is sleeping. He snuggles up to her. Whispers – I just had the weirdest dream. Lies there a few minutes waiting to get back to sleep – then jumps up out of bed. Looking around – notices blurred edges, notices how shadows and objects don’t quite meet together as they should; sounds too. Moves his hand through the air in front of his face – watches the jerky movements he’s never noticed before. Then freezes – notices the hologram on his arm. It’s still there – but instead of the symbols moving smoothly they lurch from one thing to another.

No, this is going to do my head in.

Ok Sveta or Baikal – whoever you are – I got the message.

               

Coy silence – playing hard to get – is that it? Ok – I can figure this out – use the picture, but how? Let it guide me. Bring the two positions close together. Feel my true location – where I really am – right now. Ok – I can definitely feel something going down – something deep within – but how to translate that into action? Hum…

Sveta seems to be having a nightmare – they’re coming, no, leave me alone – hears steps outside – feels a chill.

The light flickers. The hologram starts throbbing, sending pins and needles up Merry's arm.
Shit – this is getting serious. Sergei.. Kolchak... Baikal – anyone out there – I appear to be in danger.

Guys break in and without a word start firing at Merry, again and again. As his body falls back towards the bed – another pv [point of viewing] opens – swivels – he’s watching from the side – a little above – and then the DJ mixing effect as the time jumps back and forwards a few seconds – the bullets going back into the guns, coming out again – the body rising and falling from/to the bed.

Somehow, in spite of the mayhem – Merry figures out how to detach from one time sequence –  notices non-time running alongside, where a kind of quantum haze prevents things such as bullets from materializing.

Got it. Thanks Baikal. Better late than never. [Merry simply shifts pv using the killers’ murderous intent as a catapult to swing sideways, out of time, into a band of quantum indeterminacy. Somehow he senses a part of himself that had been in cahoots with that murderous intent, but instead of fearing it, hating it or fighting it desperately – he allows it to pass through unresisted, like a wave moving along Baikal – 1 - 2 - 3 she can handle it, he knows, and behold, Baikal isms, the wave is gone – its energy dissipated, reabsorbed into the life-force of the great lake.]

Excellent Merry – nicely done.

You – left me to die at their hands.

Did I? Are you dead?

Er… Looking at hands, body, legs – not exactly.

Any holes? Any blood?

No.

Then what’s the problem?

But I might have been.

Might have been? Are you serious? Do you want to watch a replay of what you just did?

Er…

Look...                     Does that look like the actions of a guy who can’t look after himself?

But I was close to dying.

Were you?

Well, yes.

And what of it?

Actually, I don’t like being shot at point blank by masked gunmen – if it’s anything to you.

You asked to go back in – I forewarned you – and you had to learn the only way.

You mean the hard way.

I mean the real way – how to detach from the 3D feed and quantum-ize.

Holy shit.

You did well, with a little help from our end.

Oh – downcast.

A little, not a lot – oh for God's sake – get a grip. At the quantum level everyone, everything is entangled – so drop this ego shit about "doing it all yourself", on your terms. That’s not how reality revolves.

Oh – got ya.

It’s like an induction motor. It spins. Wheels within wheels – either connected or not, just as long as we don’t fixate on the single pv version of the 3D-t.

-t? as in

As in time or telemetry – the linear version. Now get some rest. I’ll take you to your quarters.

Are you going to be all cold and formal with me Sveta?

Like I told you Merry – I’m not exactly Sveta, am I?

I can feel that – and yet…

I look like her – yes. Do you find me desirable?

Not when you put it like that.

Look Merry – let’s just settle down and get things started. You have a story to write. I have to keep you alive.

You?

Like Sergei told you.

You mean –

It’s obvious, isn’t it?

I just can’t imagine how all this – [looking at the beauty of Baikal] can be contained in this. [pointing at her]

Well, when you start writing you might find these questions start yielding answers – but you know as well as I do – they have to come directly from her.

Her?

The quantum stream. Who else.

Yeah – that figures.

next episode